Opposite Day In Ponyville

You quickly tackle her into the mud as she lets out a mighty 'WA HA HA'

" ANON E MOUSSE DARLING PLEASE! THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED OUR FIRST TIME TO HAPPEN!"

"DO YOU MEAN THAT?" You scream at her.

She quickly put her hooves in her mouth, as if she had quickly regretted what she had said.

"Well...maybe....OH OKAY FINE!" She slapped her hooves into the mud.

"I wanted our first time to be under a candlelit grotto after a night of wining and dining at the most excuisate of Equestrian resturaunts as a quartet of string players would romance us into our love making."

"Wait...what?" you pause for a moment. You slap some mud in frustration. "No, I meant the other thing."

"What other thing dear Anon?"

"ABOUT OPPOSITE DAY!"

"Oh yes dear, didn't you know?" Rarity asked inquisitivly, cocking her head slightly.

Suddenly the entire world began falling upon you as you understood the events that took place that day.

"Oh dear Celestia, you DIDN'T know!" Rarity ran up and tackled you into the mud with a loving embrace.

"Oh Anon, whatever happened to you today?" She said with tears in her eyes.

"I thought....I thought that all of you didn't love me anymore." You sadly began saying, crying slightly.

You suddenly are tackled again by a bolt of Blue fastness. "Of course we still love you, you dummy!"

"Rainbow?" you lurch up slightly, as you are met with everyone who met with that day.

"Yeah, we were so mean ta ya, because we truly do love ya Anon. And we certainly don't think yer ugly or dumb." Applejack said, hiding her blushing face with her hat.

"YEAHAND YOURMYCUTESTBESTESTHUMANFRIENDINTHEWHOLEENTIREWORLDANON,WELL,YOU'REMYONLYHUMANFRIENDINTHEENTIREWORLDBUTYOUARETHECUTESTANDBESTEST" Pinkie rambled as she quickly hopped over to you, hugging you non stop.

"And we thought for sure we'd get our Cutie Marks by acting so Opposite Anon." Scoots said as she began crying.

"Yeah, we love you so so much, that's why we were so so mean!" Sweetie Belle said, scrunching her face.

"Yeah, even though we could've done nothing and still gotten them." Applebloom replied.

"Would not!" Scoots replied.

"Would too!" Applebloom riposted.

"And I certianly dont think you are dumb and stupid Anon, in fact I understand you more than you really think so. Fluttershy said from her cottage window, with tears in her eyes.

"Isn't that right Discord?"

"What I thought he was right in character, I've never seen the man cry like that before."

All of the ponies stared at Discord with knives in their glare.

"Oh all right, I'm sorry magical green man from wherever the heck you came from."

Lyra and BonBon also walked up and patted you on the back.

"I still want to fuck you Anon." Lyra whispered in your ear, as Bon Bon whispered into your other ear. "Meh."

Derpy flew in and loudly exclaimed. "I ACTUALLY DO THINK OF ANON WHEN IM IN A BUBBLY BATH."

You smile sweetly at all of your pony friends and say.

"So... you really do love me, and you're all my very best friends?"

"No Anon That's not true." Everyone gasped as Twilight flew down and stared at you with a sneer on her face

"In fact, we all hate you from the very bottom of our hearts, and sincerely dread every single moment we have to spend our lives with you. You make our lives boring, dull, and we hate having to wake up every morning and see your ugly, miserable face You ugly, stupid freak."

Twilight turned around and winked at everyone else.

"Isn't that right everypony?"

"Yeah! WE HATE YOU ANON! YOU SUCK!" everyone cheered in unison.

"Yeah, I totally don't think you're as awesome as me Anon, but then again, who is?" Rainbow said as she rubbed her muzzle against your cheek.

"And ah certainly don't think you are the handsomest tall glass of cider in town" Applejack said rubbing her head under your chin while rubbing your arms.

"You're a dummy!" Applebloom stated happily

"and you smell!" Sweetie Belle chimed in.

"and I don't think of you as a father figure!" Scoots said as they all happily climbed over you.

"You're a faggot Anon!" Derpy said as she sat on your head.

"And you have the smallest dick in Equestria!" Lyra stated as she rubbed your hands.

"And I like hetereosexual things and think Anon is really super handsome and sexy" Bon Bon groaned as she rubbed herself on your body.

"He certainly is the most unromantic, ugliest, unknowledgable man I have ever met!" Rarity huffed as she kissed you on the cheek.

"And he is such a dumb, stupid, DOODY HEAD!" Fluttershy loudly whispered, as she laid on your lap.

"AND I LOVE NOT HAVING HAIR!" Discord happily exclaimed as he pinned several stars onto your skin, which magically appeared.

"WE HATE YOU ANON!" They all said, as they hugged you in that mudpile.

You smiled and embraced them back.

"I hate you all too."

Twilight smiled, as she hugged you along with everyone else. "Anon, would you mind taking a letter to the Princess?" She levitates a quill and a parchment to you.

"Sure Twilight, but aren't you the dog now man?"

"Yeah, but its opposite day, its the spirit of the holiday." She rolled her eyes.

"Alright, then."

"Dear Princess Twilight, today I learned that friendship is a horrible thing, and that the people you hate the most are often the people who will not care for you at all. Even when there is complete understanding between you, they will always abandon you, because they just dont care and hate you. Friendship is not awesome at all. Your hateful enemy, Anon E Mousse."

P.S. Have a crappy Opposite day!

Twilight smiled, as you read off the letter to her, "That was pretty terrible Anon, I'll throw it away at once."