Chapter Bon Bon:

We got in my car and fastened our seatbelts. Then we drove out of the garage and down the driveway, taking care to press the button that closed the garage door behind us. When we reached the gate at the end of the driveway, I pressed another button to open the gate, and pressed it again to close it once we were through.

The drive from our house to the downtown area is quite a long one. It consists of several miles of driving through a portion of suburbia which is hardly interesting to anyone who is as well accustomed to the route as I am.

Turning left from our driveway, we drove approximately 1000 feet until we reached 38th Avenue. We turned left onto 38th Avenue and drove an even shorter distance towards until 38th intersected with a really long road.

After looking both ways to make sure there weren’t any cars coming, I turned left onto the really long road. Leaving the residential area permitted me to increase my speed, which I did to expedite the travels of myself and my wife and other motorists who may have found themselves behind us during the course of our journey.

The size of the road grew as we continued our journey. A left hand turn lane formed in the median, which had once been nothing more than a solid double yellow line. The shoulders of the road were also becoming larger, with the addition of bicycle lanes and sidewalks. We were now entering the town proper, a maze of single family dwellings and unassuming residential streets buried beneath a patchy scrub of trees. Housing developments came into view around us, greedily devouring the farmscapes which had previously surrounded us. We also passed the new high school, where we planned to send our kids in about sixteen years.

The road curved its gaze southward, direct and sharply at first but then slowly corrected itself partway. As the houses became smaller and more compact, we knew that the road was reaching its terminus, one in which it would connect to the great road which would lead us to the bridge.

At last, the really long road reached its end, its traffic parting into two turn lanes, both going opposite directions and emptying into a vast four lane boulevard.

Turning right onto this great road took us immediately out of the tree-lined and quiet forest of Suburbia. Now we witnessed the dazzle and grime of the city, as displayed by the half mile commercial district. Reaching the great road’s end, the two eastbound lanes of the great road turned to the left at a slight incline, passing under three lanes of highway overpass in the process.

We continued forward as the road turned into an on ramp for the highway. We were quickly met with a large and gradual rightward curve in the road, which passed over the southern tip of the Marine Park.

Then began the bridge over the river. It was a big river, but the drive over it only takes about thirty seconds. The waters of the river under the bridge were very calm, symbolizing the lack of tensions in our very peaceful relationship. The river was also quite deep, as I am told, which symbolizes the sheer depth and lack of shallowness which our love was founded upon.

At last we reached the other side of the river. The elevated highway began its descent to ground level, reaching its first intersection in less than 1000 feet. At this point the roadway did something weird, where the highway split off onto two tiny onramps while the remainder of the road continued on through the downtown area as a regular road. We continued on this regular road, which was welcomed into the downtown grid by a large intersection with another major street. I made sure to stay in the second leftmost lane at this intersection, because I knew I would have to make a turn at the next intersection.

At the next intersection, I made a left hand turn onto yet another major city street. This time I remained in the rightmost lane. We stopped at an intersection because there was a red light, but when the red light turned green we started again. We didn’t have to go far because our destination was approaching on the right.

Making another right-hand turn off the street and into the parkade. We found a good parking spot, then left the parkade through the skybridge on the southern end. This brought us into a department store in the mall, which we had to walk through to get to another skybridge. We turned left, went over to the skybridge, crossed the skybridge, and found ourselves in another department store. For some reason completely unrelated to me, this just happened to be Bonbon’s favorite department store, and she wanted to look around. I gently reminded her that we were on a schedule and that we had somewhere we had to be in fifteen minutes. Slightly disappointed by this, but grateful for my promise that we could look around in the store as long as we wanted later in the evening, she followed me downstairs and out of the store. Then we crossed the same street that the first skybridge had crossed, arriving at our destination. It had occurred to me earlier that the theater was directly across the street from the parkade and that we could have made the same trip in less time if we had simply crossed the street without unnecessarily going through the two skybridges into the mall and then crossing the cross-street, but fuck efficiency because skybridges are cool.

I looked in my wallet and found that I did not have sufficient cash to pay for everything I wanted to do. Sure I had a credit card, but I never used it because Bonbon and I didn’t want the police to be able to know anything in the rare event that we happened to go Bonbon and Clyde.

Bonbon asked me if I knew where I could find an ATM. I told her that yes, I knew exactly where I could find an ATM, and she told me that she would save our spots in line while I went over to the ATM and got some more money.

I crossed the same street we had just crossed, except backwards. Yes, I even walked backwards, too. But instead of walking backwards into the department store, I kept back-walking straight because I wasn’t going back to my car. I backwards-walked down the rest of the block and backwards-walked across another street, too. Then I backwards-walked my way over to my bank and backwards-walked up to the ATM on the outside.

Sticking my hands behind my back, I made the entire transaction without looking ever at the screen. When I was done, I saw the security guard outside the bank looking at me like I was crazy. I gave him the finger (behind my back, of course) and he flinched, then ran away because of my pure awesomeness. Then I took a fedora out of my pocket, put it on my head, tipped it, and said, “Who’s bad?”

I moonwalked all the way back to Bonbon while Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie Jean’ played in the background. Bonbon was delighted by how awesome I was, but I told her that now was not the time to bask in my awesomeness because we still needed tickets.

I had originally thought that we should go out for ‘a dinner and a movie,’ but then I decided that ‘a movie and a dinner’ would be better since we would be hungrier if we had dinner last, so long as we didn’t eat anything during the movie. Then I changed it to ‘a movie and a dinner then a walk in the park’ because walks in the park at sunset make it more romantic. Then Bonbon changed to ‘a movie and a dinner then a walk in the park followed by sex’ because she was feeling horny that night. I agreed to this, because I was feeling horny that night too, but I wanted to save the sex for the end because that’s how dates work.

We got our tickets and got some drinks, then went to the theater. We sat down in our seats exactly ten minutes before the movie began, not having worried about getting there on time because In my world everything works perfectly I’m really good at planning things.
We bided our time romantically before the movie started. All of the previews were either for movies that we had already seen or movies we had no intention of ever seeing, so we spent the time cuddling. Sometimes the music from the previews was appropriate for our cuddling, but sometimes it just made us feel really awkward.

And then we finally stopped cuddling because the movie started.

Author's Note

Because the drive to the movie theater is the most important part of the date.

Image from some guy on Derpibooru.