Chapter: And Then The Sex Really Happened

Dumbledore was standing in the doorway, which he had opened while we were too busy having sex. Actually it wasn’t Dumbledore at all, it was actually President Coriolanus Snow, a.k.a. that guy in The Hunger Games with the beard and the white roses. I might try to twist this into some sort of thinly veiled jab at the regional politics in my area, but I will choose not to.

I took my face out of Bonbon’s crotch and spat the vaginal fluids still lingering on my tongue all over Bonbon’s face.

“Get out, we’re trying to have sex here!” I said.

“But why are you doing it in my office?” he asked.

“This isn’t your real office!” I roared. “Everypony knows this is just a place where you do photo ops whenever you need to butter up your constituents or update your office’s Facebook profile!”

“OMG You’re right!” said President Snow in amazement at my vast intellect. “And you’re doing bestiality in here too! Splendid, splendid! I commend you, my friend, on your contribution to the moral decay of society. By the time I leave office, this place will be a total hellhole!”

“Fuck off, she’s my wife!” I protested. “Besides, she consented!”

“Nontraditional marriages!” exclaimed President Snow. “I am glad to meet someone else in this city who also believes my political party’s belief that marriage should be everything except between a man and a woman. You have my personal congratulations, random stranger! I shall stay out of your way!”

And with that he slammed the door.

I resumed right where I had left off, licking Bonbon’s G-spot until she came. I could clearly tell that she had come because she acted like it.

Then we began having sex with me, with my penis in her vagina. I would have gone into great detail about the process in which I fucked her, but I’m refraining from doing so because Family Values. All that you need to know is that at the very end I pulled out just before I came and spilled my jizz all over the fancy blue carpet in the shape of the MLP:FiM logo.

“OMG you fucktard!” cried Bonbon. “Why the fuck did you pull out? We were trying to get me pregnant, remember?”

“Sorry,” I said apologetically. “I forgot.”

Then I scooped up as much of the semen as I could from the floor and inserted it manually into Bonbon’s vagina. We could have just had some more sex instead, but I needed to conserve semen because my balls needed time to refill their supply. The jizz still stained the carpet though, but we didn’t care.

Then we put our clothes back on and left the government building, returned to the car, and drove back to my house. I might give you a detailed description of the route I took, but I’m a really private person who values my privacy a lot and knows that giving out your address to complete and total strangers is irresponsible behavior. Then we got into our pajamas and went to sleep, spending the rest of the night in complete and utter platonic bliss completely unaffected by a desire for any desire for sex whatsoever.

Author's Note

That's all, folks!

...Except for the epilogue. Which I might never get to writing.