For want of a better sentence, WTF?

“Well, that was fucking unexpected!”, Twilight exclaimed to the books sitting on the shelves, “I’d better let her sleep it off, and see what short ass has rustled up.”

So, seeing no other alternative, Twi teleported the light sapphire bluish gray Pegasus up to her room, and let her sleep in peace. Mainly due to the fact that she was going to give Spike, not just a flea in his ear, but probably her hoof, a full smack round the head with her wings, and the frying pan.

“Oy! Short stuff, front and center! And I mean NOW!”, Spike, being used to the moods Twilight could pull, shot forward, with a chopping knife in his claws.

“Yeah? You yelled for me?”

Noticing the rather sharp knife, the little talking mailbox, was holding, caused Twily to hold back on her tirade of verbal abuse, “Shit Spike! Put that down before you end up taking something vital out! Also, what’s cooking?”

“Um, you missed out the ‘Good Looking’ part!”, he shot back at her with a glint in his eye,”Oh, well, never mind. Daffodil sarnies and Elder-flower tea, with some grilled Artichoke hearts, and I would have done some dessert, but we’re all out of flour! But that’s not MY fault, no, you forgot to write it on the shopping list, and when I told you, you said it possibly COULDN'T have been your fault!”

“Ugh! Fine, go get some then, you whiny sack of crap. Here, take my bank details whilst you’re at it, and buy someone who gives a crap!”

And, with that, Spike (referred to as ‘The Little Talking Mailbox’, or TLTMB) skipped happily out of the library as fast as possible, “And bring back some wine as well!”, Twi shouted to his retreating back.

“Garrrrr! Stupid little git, how can it be MY fault that HE forgot the flour? I wrote it on the list, I NEVER forget stuff like that, I’m the master list maker here!”, then, noticing the old shopping list on her desk, there was ONE ITEM missing.

Yup, you guessed it, WINE!

Now that she’d had her rant, “Might as well see what the foods like, seeing as the author isn't going to describe it!”

Very well! BE THAT WAY! (Done in the best Luna impersonation)

The table, in said kitchen, was, not exactly, overflowing with a veritable feast, but enough to sink a small rowing boat, how the dragon managed to make all this stuff was beyond anyponies imagination, except Pinkie, she could pull a fully baked and iced cake out of her arse (just make sure it WASN'T chocolate icing!) So, back to the food (Yes Twilight, I’m going to tell them NOW!)

The Daffodil sarnies (as we say in jolly old Great Britain, also known as Trottingham), were, well, two slices of bread (wholemeal), with Daffodil heads layered between them, and if you've ever eaten a Daffodil sarnie, you sure have some weird ass tastes!

Whilst the grilled artichoke hearts were grilled to perfection, something that takes skill, panache, and the ability to act as a walking Zippo lighter!

And don’t get me started on the Elder-flower tea. It was cold!

Now contented that the author of this piece of trash had finally described the food, Twilight stuffed her face, but keeping some of the food back for TLTMB, and her unexpected guest. But only just!

Meanwhile, over the other side of Ponyville, Spike (TLTMB), was nearing his destination...yup, Sugarcube Corner, which also served as the local Booze shop.

What? You thought they only served cakes, muffins, and other confectionary products? Really? They wouldn’t make much of a living like that. I mean, come on, Pinkie would be in hog heaven, well, okay, she is, but with Ponyville having Equestria’s number ONE boozer living there, they make quite a nice packet.

How else were they able to recompense everypony after the debacle that Pinkie and Applejack caused with the muffins?

Anyhow, back to the story at hoof. Spike has finally made it to Sugarcube Corner, and is browsing the wine section, when he’s viciously assaulted with a cupcake to the side of his head.

“Hey Spike! Watcha doooooin’?”, came a voice from above, way above, in the rafters.

“Oh, hi Pinkie! Just getting some flour, and seeing if there’s any good wine left before Berry Punch buys it all!”, he giggled.

“Yeppers, there sure is Spikey-wikey! We've got some Zinfandel just come in from Baltimare, or even some Sauvignon Blanc from north Prance, Berry doesn't much like these, says they make her want to fight. Which is strange, because I've seen her fight everything in a bar before, from the customers to the stools.”

Spike was just about to zone out from one of Pinkie’s bouts of Verbal Diarrhea , when he noticed that she’s stopped.

“Oh, well, um, yeah, I, uh, I’ll get whichever one YOU think is best Pinkie, because you know your stock!”

Pinkie, falling face first, next to Spike, got back on all fours, and looked at the small range of cheap, crap wines, and then said, “Oh sure Spike! I’d get the Zinfandel, because it’s a full-bodied red wine, and, it’s”, she looked around to make sure Berry wasn't in ear shot, “RD’s favorite!”

“Really? I didn't know she drank?”

“No? Heck, she’s a real boozer when you give her a chance!”

Now, I’m going to stop this conversation RIGHT HERE!

I've just noticed that Pinkie Pie AND the Cakes’ are going to let a small, baby dragon buy a bottle of wine.

Doesn't Equestria have a licensing law regarding the sale of alcohol to minors?

Or is it the fact that their Royal connection with Canterlot allow them to live outside any laws?

Oh what the fuck! Let’s just get on with the story, and stop padding it out!

“So, that’ll be 2 bits, please.”, said Mrs. Cake, “Anything else dearie?”

“Oh, the flour!”, Spike exclaimed, “Pinkie, can you get me a sack of self-raising…”, and there (as if by magic) a sack of self-raising flour was dropped on his head, “Yeah, that’s all now.”, came a small voice from underneath the large sack.

"Okay, that'll be 3 bits now. Don't worry about handing it to me, I'll just rifle through your purse and take the cash!", replied the baker, and true to her word, she took the money (all 8 bits of it) and sent the baby dragon on his way with a merry wave of her hoof, and a smile so broad, Pinkie would have been jealous.

Pinkie, in her all her innocent wonder (yeah, right!), decided to follow our Little Talking Mailbox back to the library, in her usual way. Or, to put it as plainly as possible, she hid in everything, from the mailboxes, to the roof tops, and even in Spikes' purse (how the hell she does that, I'll never know!)

Finally back at the library, a baby dragon calls out to anypony who might be listening, "I'm back, and I've got your wine, and I've got the flour, so you can stop complaining, I'll make the dessert now!"

Hearing no response, and fearing the best, said dragon decides that silence is not only golden, but possibly ruby, and sapphire too, and makes a dash for the kitchen to finish making the dessert for the purple colored pain-in-the-ass.