Trouble at the Finish Line

Chapters

Space Prism and Lavender Light Take On the Galactic Goblins!
Rainbow's Turn
Cinnamon Dust and Sandy Sparkles Lay Their Lives Down in Whinny Gulch
Applejack's Turn
Appledash's Turn
The Frilly Fluffy Follies of Rainbow Darling and Applefuzz
Rarity's Turn
Sparkle Lavender Light Saves the Universe and Everypony In It!
Happy Birthday, Twilight!

Space Prism and Lavender Light Take On the Galactic Goblins!

Pew Pew!

Kerrrr—ZAP!

Flashes of wicked cool death light pulse off the Galactic Glider's hull in awesome neon explosions! Unfazed by the evil onslaught of the goblin gauntlet, the Lavender Lazer keeps hurling forward on her cadmium craft, twirling so quickly past the banal barrage of energy blasts that the stars of outer space go all swirly'n'stuff!

"Mmmfnngh!" Rarity hisses into her glossy helmet while steering the craft forward past all the cosmic flak. "Well, she certainly loves her alliteration." Ph-Pham! Pow! "Among other things."

The Lavender Lazer is only late because of the unexpected ambush that held her back at Equestrianonica Prime! But now, with that over with, she rockets her way towards the rendezvous destination without a second to spare! She secretly punishes herself inside for not being as fast as her awesome and dashing mentor, Space Prism, but then she remembers all of the radical training Space Prism put her through in the Danger Sphere!

"There are three rules to being a Space Cadet, L-Squared!" speaks an echoing voice from beyond Lavender's glossy smooth helmet.

"Oooh!" Rarity coos, leveling out the glider in time to see a translucent blue equine face smiling at her from beyond. "Integrated dialogue flashbacks! Quite a nice touch, indeed, Rainbow Dash..."

The ghostly apparition keeps up with Lavender Lazer's starflight, bearing a devilish smirk. "Rule Number One: Always keep your helmet on tight. Rule Number Two: Let me look before you leap. And Rule Number Three: Loyalty is way more trustworthy than a space blaster.'"

"Hmmmm..." Rarity smiles. "I rather like that—"

Just as the words of her mentor fade from her mind, Lavender Lazer finds herself reaching the phalanx of super-evil goblin cannons! POW! P-POW! BLAM!

"Good heavens!" Rarity wheezes as she steers madly to avoid the energy blasts. "Pacing, Rainbow. Pacing!"

The space grunts' barrage is relentless, but Lavender Lazer—true to her name—is too freakin' fast for them! She spins straight through the blockade like an indigo streak of badflankery and adorkableness! Wreeeeeeeeeeeee-Sw-Sw-Swish! And—thinking on her manabeams like the clever sidekick she is, she unleashes a crapton of big flippin' space mines just as she passes those jacked up pirate punks!

"Space m-mines?!" Rarity stammers. "How on earth do I—?" Rarity sees a big flashing "MINES" button between the handles of her craft. "Oh. Eheh. Let's not insult Twilight's intelligence now, Rainbow darling." Nevertheless, she slaps a plugsuited hoof over the flickering icon.

Cl-Clakka! A tiny weapons compartment underneath the Galactic Glider hisses open to the vacuum of space, spitting out oodles of big honkin' space grenades. Think rotten goose eggs, only filled with antimatter and dragonblood.

Ka-Booooooooom! Yeah.... The explosion is the largest so far. It's like if you took all of the big blasts from the previous two acts of this adventure and compressed them into a balloon and then poured gasoline all over it and then lit a match. It's so big and bright that it makes all of the stars of the universe twinkle as if they're jealous of just how awesomely big and explodey this one bang is. But, like, it doesn't affect Lavender Lazer any! She just rockets on through all that noise, and once the galactic goblin gauntlet has been totally blown to space debris, she makes a clean getaway to the Maniacal Mare Moon. Once in orbit of the big friggin' rock, she receives a transmission from none other than—

"Spaaaaaaaaace Prismmmmm! Dundundunnnnn" And—shoooooooooooooooooom—she roars in from hyperspace in her sweet super slick blue rocket suit creating several sonic rainbooms in a row and just making space all not-boring n'stuff. When she screeches to a hovering halt in front of Lavender Lazer and her Galactic Glider, she spreads her adamantium wings—still all glowy-blue with cyber juice and sci-fi spunk. Y'know, the good stuff. Oh, and she's smirking too. Lavender Lazer can totally see her glinting teeth through the translucent blue plexiglass of her curved pony helmet. "Whazzzzzup?!"

Lavender Lazer reports in like the good, loyal sidekick she is.

Rarity simply hovers there, blinking at Space Prism's entrance. "... ... ..."

Lavender Lazer reports in like the goo—

"Oh! That's Twilight's cue! Ahem." Rarity hovers closer on the Galactic Glider. "Uhhhh... Space Prism! It is so divinely good to see you! I... uh... j-just survived a most harrowing encounter with our dreaded foes, the galactic goblins! I hope I'm not too late!"

"You're always late, Lavender Lazer!" Space Prism speaks in a low, heroic voice. Because she's the hero n'all. Space hero. "But nopony can blame you! You are only Space Prism's sidekick, after all! Hue Hue Hue!" She strikes a wicked cool pose, like the schoolfilly warriors in one of Spike's many Japoneighs art books that he pretends nopony knows he hides under his bed. "But the galactic goblins were merely lackeys to the actual threat!"

"And who is that threat, Space Prism?" Rarity asks, smiling with sparkling eyes.

"Why—none other than..." Schiiiiiing! Ker-SPARKLE! "Astrojack: Destroyer of Fun and Worlds! But mostly just worlds!"

"Eee-eeee!" Rarity squee'd, doing a tiny unicorn jig on the Galactic Glider. "Oh, how deliciously exciting! Well done, Rainbow! Twilight is simply going to love—"

"Aaaaaaand..." Fwooooosh! Space Prism points harshly at the moon. Snap! "THERE! In the molten core of the Maniacal Mare Moon, shall we find her evil lair!" FWOOOOOSH! Her awesome rocket thrusters start burning really bright and hot. "Come quick, loyal Lavender Lazer! It's time for us to take out the trash! The space trash!"

"Lead the way, oh stalwart leader!" Rarity shouts into her helmet.

"Gravity can go soak its fat head!" Space Prism's voice echoes across the cosmos as she takes the first plunge. Lavender Lazer struggles to keep up, and it's kind of a smooth dive at first. But as soon as they reach the gravel-laden desolate plains of the icy moon, all Tartarus breaks out.

"Erm... what does she mean by 'all Tatarus breaks out?'" Rarity mumbles.

A whole bunch of goblin dreadnaughts burst out of metal tunnels and start filling the thin atmosphere with super slicey death lasers.

"Oh, here we go—" Rarity is already cringing—

PHAAAP!

ZAAAAP!

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW!

Bzzzzzzt!

Ka-ZOWIE!

"Nnnngh!" Rarity grits her teeth while barreling like mad through the barrage of energy blasts. "C-care to tone it down a notch, Rainbow?!"

"Fear not, loyal sidekick!" Space Prism strafes into view, her suit on fire from sheer friction. "I've fought bigger armadas like this in my sleep!" Reaching to the back of her rocket suit, she—Schiiiiiiiiing!—unsheathes two exploder-swords and—"HRAAAAAAAUGH!"—slashes them at the goblin attack drones, exploding them. 'Cuz exploder-swords.

BOOOM!

KA-BOOM!

THUDDDDD!

"W-well!" Rarity fires random energy pulses into the madness as she steers through the fire and flame. "It's c-certainly heart-racing! I'll give her th-that!"

"Dash on through to the other siiiiide!" Space Prism's hollering voice is devoured by the muffled sounds of—you guessed it—explosions. More like explosions on top of explosions! Forget what I said earlier about the goblin gauntlet. This is like having a mushroom cloud tap dance in each ear canal! But, y'know, Space Prism and her sidekick can handle it, being the most awesome butt-kickers in the galaxy n'stuff. Oh, by the way, Space Prism just ripped an entire friggin' battleship in two with only her exploder-swords. Did you see that?

"I most certainly d-did!" Rarity glances at the looming moonface as it flies towards her at four hundred kilometers per second. "Space Prism! Look! A tunnel!"

"A front door!" Space Prism SLICES her way through a final wave of goblin drones and rockets past Rarity, hoisting a plugsuited forelimb around her waist. "Come, L-Squared! Where we're going, we don't need gliders."

"Aaaaaie!" Rarity can't help but shriek as Space Prism's superior momentum propels the two of them forward, threading through the tunnels like an awesome needle through awesome thread. The curvy blue metal walls of the deep corridors blur past them. There're a buckton of security turrets firing at them like mad but. Pfft... as if.

A signal bleeps and bleeps on Lavender Lazer's sleeve. "Space Prism!" Rarity shouts. "We're approaching the core!"

"Then that means only one thing." The comic panel zooms in for a super-dang close up on Space Prism's glaring eyes. Thwooooosh! "...we're approaching her."

Just then, a wave of ungodly heat greets the pair. They enter a giant spherical room with multiple catwalks and metal planks encircling a pulsating sphere of sparkly glowy death energy. The energy feedback is too much, and soon the mares' plugsuits start to short-circuit and sparkle.

"Space Prism!" Rarity sputters. "My suit! I-I can't—"

"Hold on!" Space Prism heroically bellows. She ejects her adamantium wings—CL-CL-CLAKKK!—and extends her natural feathers in their place, gliding the two of them the rest of the way through the artificial atmosphere. The two land hard, tumbling to a stop across a thick metal platform right before the pulsating sphere. "Oooof!"

"Unnff!" Rarity falls flat on her helmeted face. Wincing, she looks up—only to see a set of orange hooves standing before her.

"Well well well..."

Our heroes' vision pans up to reveal Astrojack, a lithely-toned orange mare with glowing freckles and a billowing mane of glossy gold hair. She's slinkily clad in a velvety purple sash that bears the demonic crest of the galactic goblins. A pair of emerald inplants in her eyesockets narrow like wicked cat-eyes as she looms above the heroes, sneering.

"So if it isn't Space Prism and her lame lackey, Lavender Lazer!"

"Uhhh..." Rarity blinks. "This is 'Astrojack?'"

"Hey!" Space Prism snarls, getting up. "Nopony calls my most trusted sidekick 'lame!'" She takes a bold step forward. "Certainly not an evil princess adopted by the world-consuming Goblin Emperor of Zappatron!"

"Not so fast, Spazz Prism!" Astrojack's freckles flicker a hot platinum as she tilts her fuzzy chin to the core's ceiling. "Guards!"

Ch-Chtung!

Clakka!

Crkk-Crkk!

Space Prism halts instanty. Lavender Lazer looks around to see a full circle of thickly-armored goblins training their death rifles on the pair of space adventurers.

"Hmmm..." Space Prism spits. "Just like the coward you are, Astrojack!"

"Come on, Space Prism!" Rarity exclaims, trying to contain her bubbling excitement. "We can take them on! Surely this must be the story's climax! Oh, how expertly unfolded—"

"You're one to talk, Space Prism!" Astrojack growls. "Must I remind you that you're nothing without your Awesome Suit of Awesomeness?!"

"Oh... r-right..." Rarity clears her throat. "The villainous monologue." She waves a plugsuited hoof. "Do carry on."

"Oh, how the ignorant denizens of the solar system love to worship and praise your name, Space Prism! But they have no idea that, deep down inside, you're just as vulnerable as the rest of them! Why, without that suit and your sidekick, I could eliminate you with a single wave of the hoof!" Astrojack clenches her teeth while her freckles pulse in a vicious crimson light. "So long as you pretend to defend the futile concepts of galactic democracy, you will only be a hallow shell of your real self!" She grins wickedly. "Take that armor off, you celestial simpleton, and join me! We'll destroy worlds together and make the whole world Goblin Galactica!"

"Alright, Space Prism!" Lavender Lazer drags her hoof. Rarity smiles, feeling blood pumping in her ears. "You deserve to go to blows with the main antagonist! Meanwhile, I'll do my loyal duties by distracting the orcish miscreants surrounding us—"

"Stand down, Lavender Lazer."

Rarity does a double-take, helmet rattling. "Stand... d-down?"

"I've totally got this." Smirking, Space Prism sheathes her helmet's glass face—schlaccck!—and tosses her sweaty, spectral bangs loose. She leans forward, glaring slyly at her nemesis. "You're full of talk, Astrojack, something that your adopted father—the Goblin Emperor—obviously taught you! But for all of your drooling and spitting, you're right about just one thing!"

"Mmmmm-mwahahahahaha!" Astrojack takes the time to laugh. She returns an evil glance, sneering. "And just what's that?"

"I'm not the same without my suit. As a matter of fact!" Space Prism grins. "I'm even better!" With that, her eyes glow a hot blue, hotter than any supernova or any of that other science crud. "BEHOLD!"

She fires a pair of optic rays straight into Astrojack's body. ZAAAAAAAAAP!

Rarity blinks. "Buh?"

"AAAAAAAAAAUGH-RARGHL-RARGHL-RARGHL!" Astrojack collapses, her sexy space warrioress sash being burnt to charred bits as she collapses to her knees from the onslaught of the relentless blue pulse. "Unnnngh..." Finally, as the energy stream ends, she squats there on her knees, shivering and heaving.

"Boo-yaka-shaaaa!" Space Prism grins as her eyes dim to normal. "You're not the only pony born with 'space princess' blood! Ha! Put that in your tiara and huff it!"

"Uhhhhh..." Rarity's eyes dart left and right. "Marvelous!" she chirps inside her helmet. "Astrojack's story thread now has closure!" She twirls to face the goblins. "The true climax is fighting these unsightly cretins, then—"

"Oh Sp-Space Prism..." Astrojack loudly weeps.

Rarity twirls around. "Eh?"

The mare sniffles, her mane frayed and covered with embers. Nevertheless, the defeated villain's hair maintains an immaculate gold shine. It drapes over her naked shoulders like a blanket while she shudders, wiping her tear-stained cheeks clean with a trembling hoof.

"Oh, h-how wrong I've been all this time." She hiccups on a sob and quivers on the platform between them and the ungodly huge core. "For so many years, I was controlled by the evil space spell of Emperor Goblin of Zappatron!" She tilts her head up, her face bespeckled with glowing yellow spots. "But now the c-curse has finally lifted!"

"Pffft. I know it, girl." Space Prism winks. "I can totally tell by your freckles."

"Then... you are n-not mad at me?"

"Heh..." Space Prism trots over and kneels down. "Not a chance!"

Rarity's helmeted gaze bounces between the two mares and the goblins-in-waiting. "Uhhhhm..."

"What you needed was my awesomeness to wake you from your badass slumber." Space Prism tilts Astrojack's chin up, caressing her fuzz-fuzzy orange cheeks. "It's okay to cry. My radical ways are crazy overwhelming to most ponies."

"Can..." Astrojack's robot eyes glisten while her freckles flicker white with hope. "C-can you forgive me for all the harm I've caused?"

"Uhmmm... hello?!" Rarity waves her plugsuited forelimbs wildly. "Space Prismmmm? There are still several foes to defeat! The core of the Maniacal Mare Moon looms right there before us!"

"Hmmmm..." Space Prism ignores Lavender Lazer as she smirks at the defeated villain. "Well, you did blow up a dozen planets, silencing twenty-five trillion screaming souls and enslaving an entire population of space mules, butttttttttttttttttt." She grasps the mare's hoof, leaning forward to nuzzle her cheek to cheek. "For you... I think I can make an exception. Why not? I'm Space Prism. I just belch and it warps time-space!"

"Ohhh..." Astrojack coos, her eyes rolling back as her freckles flash a hot-pink. "Oh..." She gasps. "Space Prism..."

"Mmmm..." Space Prism nuzzles her deeper, nibbling into the nape of her fuzzy neck. "Yeah?"

"Space Prism...!"

"Yeahhhh?"

"Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace...!"

"Mrmmmfffnnnngh..." Rarity helmet-hooves, shaking her head. "Oh, for the love of sweet-Celestia." She tilts her gaze towards some nebulous ceiling. "Ahem... Plot Override: Nancy Gamma Seven!"

And just like that, the entire universe warps and crumples, cycling down into an infinitesimal singularity. Everything gets swallowed up: the armored goblins, the pulsating energy core, the two nuzzling mares and the entire Maniacal Moon itself. At last, with a lazy yawn, Rarity too goes slip-sliding-away into that devouring pinhole of god-thought.

Rainbow's Turn

Applejack and Rainbow Dash waited patiently inside the Carousel Boutique... or at least as "patiently" as either of them could muster.

Applejack reclined with her back to the bottom of one of Rarity's dress stages. She chewed on a stalk of hay while dangling one lower leg over the other. She had the brim of her hat tilted forward, obscuring an expression of sweaty anticipation.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash paced and paced, picking up an artificial wind from all of her wing-flapping. She circled several ponyquins in dead silence. Every time she passed by Applejack, she'd steal the mare a glance.

Applejack would glance back.

Then, frowning doubly, both mares looked in opposite directions, pretending that the other pony did not exist.

This carried on for several minutes, until finally—

Fl-Flash!

Rainbow spun around, blinking wide. Applejack sat up and tilted her hat back, squinting.

Across the Boutique, an ivory pedestal rested with an open comic book. Its pages fluttered, brimming with an otherworldly light. Soon, the colored paper sheets began flipping at a maddening speed.

Applejack hopped up to her hooves while Rainbow Dash touched down. In rushing towards the pedestal, they inadvertently bumped into one another. This resulted in several breathy grunts and growls as they pushed, shoved, and kicked to get to the pedestal first.

It mattered little. Rarity leapt out of the book in a beam of light, materializing before the two mares could get to it. She stood up straight, teetering slightly, and rubbed her head through her horn. "Whew! Goodness, what a r-rush!"

"Well?!" Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and leaned over Applejack, smiling wide. She wrung her hooves together, virtually trembling. "What'd you think?! Huh? Huh?! Was it awesome or what?!"

"Settle down, sugarcube," Applejack grunted. "Yer like an aardvark at an ant convention! Just let the mare think and dun put none of yer biased ideas in her head!"

"Uh... Excuse me, Annoyingjack, but she's grading my commission first! I think we'll let her juggle my ideas to the fullest, thank you very much!"

"You think yer story's gonna win just 'cuz it got sampled first! Well, nuts to that!" Applejack frowned. "Granny Smith read somewhere that ponies tend to fancy the second pie they nibble durin' a taste contest!"

"We're grading enchanted comic books for Twilight Sparkle's birthday gift—NOT baked goods, ya sawdust snorter!"

"And, knowin' Rarity, she's gonna choose a down-to-earth drama over a gul-durn space opera any day! And so would Twilight!"

"Like Tartarus, she will! She used to be a unicorn! Unicorns like glowy sparkly space lights n'crap!"

"Says who?!"

"Says me!" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "And besides, who in their right mind thinks that Twilight would love a story full of wagon trails and tumbleweeds? Pffft... might as well give her the Equestrian Guide to Fuzzy Ear Lint!"

"Why you stuck-up, airheaded cloud varmint—"

"Blblblblbllblbbbb!"

"Girls... Girls!" Rarity growled, trotting over to her sofa and flopping down with a weary sigh. "Please, in my Boutique you will act like ladies. Especially when it comes to the matter of choosing the best gift for our dear Twilight."

"You can see how she'd totally dig that, huh?! Huh?!" Rainbow zipped over Rarity, grinning down at her reclined figure. "Huh? Huh? Huh?!?"

Applejack yanked Rainbow Dash back by her tail. "Mrmmmff—hold yer sky-horses, Rainbow Doofus! She done promised us that she would rate our stories in turn, and yers just got the luck of the draw. Now let her do her thang!"

"I will, once she friggin' starts talking!" Rainbow's voice cracked.

"And talk I shall, darlings." Rarity cleared her voice, fluffed her mane, and struck a dainty pose while smiling. "Rainbow Dash, the word 'awesome' would most certainly describe your story to a T."

"Darn straight!"

"It was undeniably thrilling, with several exotic locales that left me breathless, and that isn't even beginning to breach the sights and sounds of outer space itself!" Rarity smiled to herself. "Why, I never realized how exhilarating it is to pilot a... ahem... 'Galactic Glider' through the cosmos. If I considered it stimulating, then I'm absolutely certain that Twilight will find it to die for. Why, just the astronomical implications of the narrative's setting alone will set her imagination aflame with passion!"

"Hah!" Rainbow Dash spun towards Applejack, flinging a hoof at her. "Beat that, hayseed!" She did a little jig in mid-air, shaking her blue haunches. "Oomf! Httt! Yeah!"

Rarity cleared her voice and smiled. "However..."

"Hmmm..." Applejack smirked, leaning smugly against a ponyquin. "Dun be doin' yer victory hoedown just yet, darlin'."

Rainbow froze in mid-air, blinking. "'However...?'"

"Your writing style bled straight through the pages of the enchanted narrative," Rarity said. "And it's certainly unique to say the least."

"Unique?" Rainbow bit her lip, ears folded. "Is... is th-that b-bad?"

"It was ripe with onomatopoeia, which is putting it lightly. I can still hear my ears ringing from the copious amounts of explosions."

"But... b-but..." Rainbow gestured with both forelimbs. "They're explosions!"

"One can enjoy an action-centric space epic without the narrative constantly having to remind the audience about the 'action' part, darling.'" Rarity smiled. "Even still, while the tumultuous noise effects may have been a tad-bit excessive, such is the nature of a pulp yarn, and I found myself thoroughly enjoying the experience, even if it lacked a certain degree of... mmmm... delicate finesse."

"Heh!" Rainbow swiped her brow, smiling in relief. "Whew! You had me worried for a sec, Rare!" She planted her hooves on her hips and glared down at Applejack. "Told you that Twilight's gonna like my story better!"

"However..."

Rainbow spun towards Rarity again, legs curled and pupils shrunken. "H-however...?"

"I had a huge issue with the story's pacing..." Rarity fidgeted where she reclined on the couch, avoiding Rainbow's gaze. "It... uhm... was somewhat off-balance."

"What are you t-talking about?!" Rainbow cackled. "Did you have your eyes closed the whole time?! It's nothing but explosions, catch-phrases, and more explosions! From space opera beginning to space opera end!"

"Well, to an extent, I would agree with you. But about that ending."

"Yeah...?"

"... ... ..." Rarity winced. "Was there... truly a need for the lead antagonist to be defeated so easily?" She gulped. "And then to become suddenly so docile and... and... subordinate."

"Subordi—what now?" Applejack blinked.

"I dunno..." Rainbow Dash shrugged from where she hovered. "I figured it would add character depth."

"Character depth." Rarity blinked.

"Yeah! I mean, the villain is the adopted daughter of Goblin Emperor! She's been forced to do horribad stuff all her life! She's not really evil! She just... y'know... needs somepony in her life to set her straight!"

"By somepony you mean 'Space Prism.'"

"Yes'm."

"And by 'set her straight' you mean engage in a copious amount of romantic nuzzling?"

"Wait a tick." Applejack squinted up at the pegasus. "You wrote this?!"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and smirked Rarity's way. "Okay, so I decided to throw in a romantic subplot!"

"A romantic subplot?!" Rarity did a double-take. "At the very last second?!" She gestured blindly in the air. "Right as Space Prism and Twilight's character are at the threshold to the Maniacal Mare Moon?! About to destroy the supreme lair of the Galactic Goblins and bring justice to the entire universe?"

"Er... yeah! So?"

"So... it throws an enormous rusted wrench into the story's pace, darling!" Rarity counted off invisible fingers on the end of her hoof. "For one, there was never any foreshadowing that lead us to believe that there would even be a romantic subplot to begin with! For another, I was thoroughly enjoying the divine thrashing that we were giving the goblin minions! Third, why suddenly thrust an emotional theme into a story that—up until then—had been ninety-nine percent explosions?!"

"Simple!" Rainbow Dash yawned, digging a hoof into one ear. "For Twilight!"

"... ... ...For Twilight."

"Yuh huh. I mean, let's face it, she's way girlier than me. Besides." Rainbow folded her forelimbs with a proud smirk. "She's totally into all that abstract emotional friend-stuff."

"I-I do believe Space Prism and the antagonist were being more than 'friendly' right there at the end, Rainbow D-Dash," Rarity said with a nervous chuckle.

"But—I mean—what's to complain about?! We—I mean they totally blow up the Moon and flee with the Goblin's adopted daughter in the end!"

"I... I wouldn't know."

Rainbow Dash did a double-take. "You mean you didn't see it through to the end?!"

"I couldn't help it, darling!" Rarity exclaimed. "That jaggedly unexpected plot contrivance sapped all of the momentum from the narrative! It's as though the romantic theme came out of nowhere!"

"Heh..." Applejack smirked up at Rainbow. "Looks like y'all done sabotaged yerself, Stallion Lee!"

"Mrmmmfffnnngh..." Rainbow pouted, cheeks red.

"I'm curious." Rarity sat up on the edge of her couch. "Just what did the commission artist think of the sudden plot shift? Did he say anything in those last few panels?"

"Pffft. No. Not that it mattered." Rainbow shrugged. "Ever since you hoofed him all those bits, I'm willing to bet he'll sketch anything without batting an eye. Airships... Zombies... Cat-Sized Ponies... you name it!"

"Hmmm... yes... well..." Rarity lowered her head, gazing thoughtfully into the Boutique's tile floor as she chapped her chin. "Perhaps it'll do as Twilight's gift, provided she isn't too terribly vexxed about that unorthodox ending..."

"Ya dun have to sugarcoat it, Rarity," Applejack said. She smirked once more at Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow dun have no feelings to be hurt. She certainly has no gumption for writin', either," she added with a snicker.

"Why you...!" Rainbow bent down in mid-hover, scowling into the cowfilly's face. "How about I throw in a few more bits and we commission our artist to draw you being kicked in the cutie mark by a marching line of robot apples?!"

"Hah! Yer welcome to try, sassafras!" Applejack growled back. "Assumin' ya dun fill the whole book with one big long sound effect!"

"Grrrrrrr—!"

"Girls!" Rarity hissed. "Now, what have I told you?!"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash swiveled away from each other, pouting.

Calming herself with a long breath, Rarity spoke: "Now, I can plainly see that the two of you have the ardent desire to thoroughly throttle the other in a show of literary prowess! Why this is the case, I cannot be stabbed to understand. But need I remind you that we had an agreement here?!" Rarity pointed out the window. "In less than three days, it will be Twilight Sparkle's birthday! Her first birthday as Princess! We owe it to her to give the alicorn a supreme gift that she will never forget! Now, it was Pinkie Pie who thought up the 'enchanted comic book' idea, and it was Fluttershy who informed us that the artist here in Ponyville's Quills and Sofas actually does custom comic commissions by request! Now, my talents are solely exercised in design, decorations, and dress-making! Believe me! If I could pen together a story that would do Twilight Sparkle justice, I would! But, alas, this is why I brought you both to the table! Out of the whole lot of us, sans Twilight, you two have the most fervent imaginations, and between the both of your commissioned books I'm certain we can make a story that Twilight Sparkle will absolutely adore!"

"We know all this, Rarity," Applejack muttered.

"Yeah!" Rainbow winced. "But—"

"This is not a contest!" Rarity barked. "Can't you understand that?! We need to work together for a common goal or else we will run out of time!" She blinked at the two. After several seconds, Rarity slumped back, sighing with a forelimb crossed daintily over her head. "... ... ..." She blinked. "It is my fault in the first place for entertaining the idea that you both should hoof me separate stories to judge. It's... it just feels as though neither of you wanted to work together in the first place, and I-I simply wanted a compromise! For Twilight's sake!"

"We're awful sorry, Rarity," Applejack said, taking her hat off and hanging her golden head. "We know yer bein' mighty generous in yer patience, not to mention yer bit bag."

"Yeah..." Rainbow Dash fidgeted in mid-air. "All of this is coming out of your payment. I promise that we'll make a story that Twilight will cherish forever!"

"Darn tootin'." Applejack planted the hat back on her head. "And after you hop into my enchanted tale as Sandy Sparkles, you'll realize that my story's the one that will make the cut."

"Wait..." Rainbow blinked, then hissed down at the earth pony. "What do you mean your story?!"

"Well, mine sure ain't gonna mess around with no inside-out plot structure in the stars!" Applejack hollered back. "You had yer turn to flip, flop, n'fly, Rainbow! Now it's time Rarity judged a real whizz-banger of a tale!"

"We are not giving Twilight Sparkle some boring story full of sweat and apple bucking!"

"T'ain't what it's about at all!"

"Oh yeah?! Prove it!"

"That's what Rarity's gonna do, ya hare-brained idiot!"

"Silence, girls... SILENCE!" Rarity bellowed. She waved an angry hoof towards the door. "Out! Out! Leave now, and don't come back until tomorrow!"

"Leave?!" Both mares yelped at once, gawking at the unicorn.

"But... b-but..." Rainbow squeaked.

"You pr-promised that y'all was gonna hop into my book next!" Applejack stammered.

"And I will... first thing in the morning!" Rarity hissed, rubbing her horn. "Right now, I have a headache. Between Rainbow's explosions and your pitiful drawling..."

"Now hold on just a cotton-pickin' second! I do not drool!"

"She means your accent, Einstallion."

"Grrrrrrrrr-Rainbowwwwwww—!"

"Shoo! Shoo! Away with you both!" Rarity waved the two grumbling ponies on. "We'll continue this at sunrise." She called out after them. "I promise that my criticisms will be fair and balanced! Do you hear me, Applejack?"

The door slammed shut.

"Nnnngh..." Rarity sighed, lying on her back and gazing tiredly at the ceiling. "Luna help me... I-I should have just hired Colt in Gardez..."

Cinnamon Dust and Sandy Sparkles Lay Their Lives Down in Whinny Gulch

"Mrmmff..." Sheriff Cinnamon Dust squints, her freckles glintin' all shiny-like as she trots across the middle of town. Her spurs make them jingle-jangly noises, trailin' after her labored hooves, tired after years of laborin' on the farm and even more years of tryin' to preserve justice in that lonely ol' town called Whinny Gulch. "Sandy Sparkles, did I ever tell y'all about the dust storm that swept away my family and all that I had?"

Deputy Sandy Sparkles sniffles, nevertheless quickenin' her pace to keep up with the older, more-seasoned pony. "No, Cinnamon Dust," Rarity mewls in an endearin' voice. Her eyes are glossy, like blue moons dipped in tears. "Though... I-I have picked up rather tiny details throughout this whole venture... beautifully and subtly executed, m-mind you."

"It was ten long, dusty years ago," Cinnamon Dust grunts on either side of a haystalk that she was chewin' in her mouth. Her and Sandy's shadows stretch like gravestones across the arid earth. As they pass by the storefronts on either side of 'em, the ponyfolk inside clap the doors shut one by one. They all knows what's about to blow over. "And yet, I still remember it just like it was this mornin's breakfast." She cricked the tired old joints in her neck, plannin' out her sentences all proper-like beneath the musical percussion of them spur-jingles. "With her dyin' breath, my wife told me, 'Be a simple kind of mare, Cinnamon. And maybe some day...'" She takes a deep breath, eyes cold as steel against the sunlight. "...you'll nuzzle and understand."

"Radiant..." Sandy Sparkles rubs her cheeks, smilin' all puffy and tearful. "Simply radiant," Rarity coos. "Pure poetry, Applejack—"

"The name's Cinnamon Dust."

"Er... r-right. Eheheh... don't mind me, I-I simply got caught up in the mome—"

"And after all these years..." The sheriff sighs. "Reckon I ain't never gonna nuzzle no mo'."

"Awwwwww..." Sandy Sparkles trots ahead to gaze with pityin' eyes at her superior. "Sheriff, don't you dare say that! You have many years left!"

"Them's gonna be real achin', dyin' years," Cinnamon Dust grumbles as they march down Main Street. A tumbleweed tumbles by, as tumbleweeds do, a'tumblin'. "Ain't no sense spendin' that with no partner no-how. I've suffered enough as it is. Wouldn't be proper to dump it on another pony."

"But... Cinnamon Dust!" Sandy points at the bank, the saloon, and the schoolhouse. "This whole town! The ponies here owe their well-being completely to you! Don't you see? You're a vanquisher of injustice and a spreader of life!"

"Them's some mighty fancy words to be tossin' into the tornado all the same." Cinnamon Dust trots to a stop, spurs clatterin'. "Face it, I dun take much stock in my marshalin' career for a reason. Too much blood in it... the kind of blood my wife and kid woulda frowned upon."

"But... th-the lives you've saved from the Gold Rush Gang—!"

"Ain't nothin' in the grand scheme of thangs." Cinnamon Dust finally spits her haystalk out and nods at the dark figure standin' at the end of the town, waitin' for 'em. "All I've ever done or will do rests on this here showdown. Goddess help me. It burns hot in Tartarus."

"Maybe for you, it does, Sheriff Dust!" shouts a pony in a black hat, black coat, and black boots. He brandishes a bandolier full of gold-plated revolver ammo, and his chompers show a matchin' grime when he grins. "Traitors and scoundrels! That's the lowest level where you varmints burn, ain't it?!"

"Who're y'all callin' varmints, Ebon Soul, ya ol' snake in the grass?!" Cinnamon Dust hollers back.

"I'm callin' you out, Sheriff!" the stallion snarls while pointin' his grimy hoof. "You! A dirty... no good... yellow-fuzzie'd... cry babyin' coward!" He nods his head towards Sandy Sparkles. "What's the deal with bringin' this here lady to a pony-to-pony duel?! Or do you always speak tall when ya got an extra set of legs on yer side?!"

"I could say the same to you, Ebon." Cinnamon Dust glares even harder, her calico poncho flutterin' in the desert breeze. "So how about callin' yer boys off like a real stallion?"

"Hah!" Ebon cackles raspily. "I dun know what yer babblin' about, old timer!"

"Ebon..." Cinnamon grits her teeth. "It just may well take the whole seven of 'em to kill an old warhorse like me today, but even with an army of a thousand you won't stand a chance when the cavalry arrives."

Ebon blanches like the scaredy cat he is. "You didn't..."

"Sent a telegram last night!" Cinnamon grumbles, tiltin' his chin up all proud-like. "I've no intention on gamblin' the whole fate of Whinny Gulch on a drag-out fight with the sorry likes of you! This here duel?! It's between you'n'me! Not the Deputy here! And not yer sissy-tailed hombres in hidin'! So call them out before I flush them out with lead rain!"

To that, Ebon clenches his jaw in anger, though he'd be a dag-gum fool to pretend that he ain't tremblin' in his boots. Well, before anypony can so much as hear a condor shriek, he swivels to the rooftops of them buildings and lets out a shrill whistle.

Not long after, a smatterin' of grimy thugs in sombreros climb down from the summits of Whinny Gulch. They each give Cinnamon Dust dirty glares as they trot off and form a line in front of the saloon.

"Alright, Sheriff!" Ebon Soul shouts. "I called off mah boys! Now you call off yer girl!"

"Ya don't need to shout, son," Cinnamon Dust glares. "I ain't deaf."

"Honestly..." Rarity cranes her neck to look at the mare's face. "Is it physically possible for you to squint any harder?"

"Partner, this is the end of the trail," Cinnamon Dust says. "Best be trottin' yer pretty self on over to the storefront now."

"Oh! Erm... Ahem." Sandy Sparkles puts on a sad face. "No, Sheriff! No! We're badge-wearing purveyors of justice to the end! Let me lend you a hoof with this! For ten long years, you've been the vigilant steward of this town! Well, I say—let you be alone no further! You mustn't face this vagabond alone!"

"Darlin', I've been facin' this here vagabond since I learned to gallop," Cinnamon Dust slurs. "He's a dime-a-dozen bastard of evil. If I back up from his challenge now, then that means I roll over for every crook, thug, and gambler just like him that lurches into a town like Whinny Gulch, expectin' to be treated like a prince, when deep down he ain't nothin' but a big bad of manure. Now git!"

Sandy Sparkles backtrots, wincin' somethin' awful. "Goddess speed to you, Cinnamon Dust..."

"Ain't no Goddess gonna bother savin' me now." Cinnamon Dust cracks the joints in her neck one final time. "But this widow's only consolation is that the same can be said for this mound of talkin' garbage in front of me." She shouts across the windy street. "Ya hear that, Ebon?! I dun thrown in my badge to become the town janitor! And I'm about to take out the trash!"

"Either way, Sheriff..." Ebon licked his lips as he reaches a hoof to a gun holstered at his side. "...this ends with you collectin' flies."

"So long as I bury you first!" Cinnamon's muzzle curves for the first time in years. "In a grave marked 'Roadkill!'"

"Eeeee!" Rarity's voice squeals. Sandy Sparkles dances in place, eyes dartin' back and forth between both ponies in the high-tension standoff. "Oh, how wonderfully exciting! Spaghetti Western! As written by Applejack!" Gaspin', she squats low like an anxious lil' prairie dog, her eyes glossy in the crimson sunlight. "Ooooh! Oooh! How's it going to end? Will Cinnamon Dust blast Ebon in his black heart, thus damning her vigilante soul forever?! Or will Ebon tragically finish her off so that she can rejoin her deceased family in eternal harmony? Mmmm!" She squirms again. "I can't wait! I can't wait! Twilight is absolutely going to adore this—!"

"What are ya waitin' for, Sheriff?" Ebon smiles. "Make yer move!"

"Hmmm..." Cinnamon unfurls her poncho, revealin' two pearl-handled revolvers. However, she lingers right there, standin' dead still like a fuzzy orange tent pole. "How's it go again? He who casts the first stone or some such? You want this town so badly, yo go on ahead and reach for it. Then we'll see who's the fastest hoof in the desert."

Ebon bites his lip as sweat forms along his brow.

The stallions in sombreros fidget nervously.

Cinnamon merely stares, smirkin'. All cool as steel.

Sandy Sparkles leans on the edge of the porch, clingin' to the wooden railing, about to lose her breath—

"Sheriff!" a high-pitched voice suddenly echoes from clear across town. "Sheriff! No, dun do it!" The ruffle of skirts, skirts, skirts.

Sandy Sparkles does a double-take. "What in blazes...?" Rarity whispers.

Cinnamon Dust twirls to see a saloon girl gallopin' hysterically towards her, her fuzzy blue face flushed with tears. The filly struggles to hike up the flouncy folds of her parlor maiden gown with each cavortin' step.

"Oh, con sarn it, Ravishin' Dew!" Cinnamon Dust growls. "Not now! Can't y'all see I'm dispensin' justice?"

"No! Ah can't see!" Ravishin' Dew scuffles to a stop, her fuzzy chest palpitating as she stares up into Cinnamon Dust's strong, freckled face. "Ah can't see anythang!" She gulps, her purdy lil' eyes fillin' up with gossamer tears. "Because yer beautiful lurve has blinded meh, Cinnamon Dust! And Ah simply can't live with mahself if you was to bite the bullet, now could Ah?!"

"Be-beloved...?!" Rarity sputters.

"Ravishin', t'ain't no time for stage dancin' or drink pourin'!" Cinnamon Dust protests. Nevertheless, she reaches down to caress the filly's quiverin' chin. "Y'all run back to yer saloon, now. Life will go on without me. You'll earn enough bits to become a schoolmarm and kiss this naughty life of yers away for good! You'll see!"

"But Ah dun wanna kiss anythang, Cinnamon!" Ravishin' hiccups and coos. She leans in—dress smooshed—and nuzzles Cinnamon warmly in the chest. "Ah only wanna kiss you!" She shudders. "Don't y'all see, ya silly varmint?! You complete meh! You complete meh somethin' fierce!"

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shucks, Ravishin'... must you?"

"Uhhhh..." Rarity twitches. At the sound of a yellin' voice, she glances down the street.

"Hey!" Ebon Soul stomps his hoof, frownin'. "Are we duelin' or ain't we?!" BANG! He jolts as his black hat is blown off his head by a single bullet.

Sheriff Dust aims a smokin' revolver at him, snarlin', "Now just hold yer horses! The lil' lady wants to speak her mind!"

"Forget him, Cinnamon!" Ravishin' Dew coos, eyelashes flutterin' over purdy, ruby peepers. "Forget the Gold Rush Gang! Forget Sandy Sparkles—Tartarus! Forget this whole dag-blame'd town!" She leans up, rubbin' noses with the grizzled sheriff. "You belong to meh! Look into yer sweet, tender, tired heart and taste it! Ain't no Dew but yer Dew, Cinnamon! Ah promise you that!"

"Land's sakes..." Cinnamon Dust sighed long and hard, leanin' down to nuzzle-nuzzle the mare's muzzle. "Why can't I quit you?"

"But... b-but I thought..." Rarity points. "She said she had no room for..." She points. "And just where in Celestia's name did she come...?"

"Oh... Cinnamon! Yer freckles taste like yer namesake!"

"Heheheh... dun they, ya frisky lil' possum?"

"Heeeeeeee!"

"Nnnn-rrrrrrrrgh!" Rarity tosses her hat, snarling. "That tears it! Ahem. Plot Override: Nancy Gamma Seven!" The world rips into a dusty twirl around her as she hollers, "Get me out of this pathetic farce... NOW!"

And just like that, Cinnamon Dust and Ravishin' Dew melt into each other's nuzzling faces while Ebon Soul and the gang members and the whole hazy vista of Whinny Gulch disappears into a finite space—

Applejack's Turn

"Hmmph..." Rainbow Dash laid lazily on the window sill inside Carousel Boutique, dangling a leg in the noonday light. "No way in heck Rarity—or Twilight—are gonna favor a stuffy old western over my epic full of lasers and explosions!"

"That's where yer all upside down, Rainbow!" Applejack said, smiling proudly from across a forest of naked ponyquins. "Twilight's the Princess of Magic! She's seen everythang that sparkles and glows!" The farm filly pointed a hoof at the comic book lying on the ivory pedestal. "What she needs is somethin' really stimulatin'! What you call a 'stuffy old western,' I call a deep'n'introspective character sketch!"

"Pfft! Oh please! You can't even spell 'introspective!'"

"I sure as hay can!"

"Try it!"

"Ahem. "E... N... H... T... R—"

A magical wind kicked up in the center of the Boutique.

Applejack spun about and Rainbow Dash sat up, blinking.

The pages to the comic book flipped from beginning to end. Within seconds, the enchanted pages were flickering with a bright light. The strobing morphed into the shape of a dainty unicorn that landed physically in the midst of the pair. "Nnnnngh!" Rarity was busy throwing her mane back, growling.

"Yeeeee-ha! Look at her! And all revved up too!" Applejack turned her chin up at Rainbow. "And you thought she was gonna be bored out of her pretty lil' skull!"

"Jury's still out on that, Awfuljack."

"And since when were y'all an expert on juries?" Applejack trotted proudly towards Rarity. "Howdy, Rarity! Whew-wee! You were in there for a long time! Didja make it to the end?!"

"No!" Rarity barked, causing Applejack to lean back and blink. "For your information, I couldn't make it to the end because there was no end!" Rarity stomped across the Boutique and threw herself on the couch. "Because neither of you mares even know how to write an end!"

"Uhhhhh..." Applejack pivoted to follow her movements. "I'm afraid I dun follow you."

"How could you?!" Rarity tossed her forelimbs from where she writhed angrily on the couch. "All you know how to do is write rich and detailed backstories. But when it's time to go forward, you suddenly adopt a goldfish memory!" Her voice reached a hissing pinch. "I mean how could Cinnamon completely forget her tragic past just for one quick roll in the hay with that... that... garishly dressed tart?!"

"Hey now!" Applejack frowned. "She ain't no tart! She brings a ray of shinin' light into Cinnamon Dust's life!"

"Snkkkt—Haa-haa-haa!" Rainbow Dash flew backwards in the air, hugging herself.

"Y-you cut it out!" Applejack pouted, her freckles enflamed.

"Heeheehee... guess you're not Whinnyiam Foalkner after all!" Rainbow Dash wheezed, wiping the tears from her laughing face.

"Ain't no laughin' matter!" Applejack spun and gawked at Rarity. "Rarity, sugarcube! Dun ya get it?! She's a supportin' character—"

"Applejack, the only support she ever had was a brief mention during the Buffalo Stampede scene of Act Two!" Rarity grumbled. "Between that moment and the very end, she was a virtual phantom character! But noooooooooooo, you had to have her rush up to the protagonist and interrupt what could very well have been the most suspenseful climax of any narrative I've ever read ever!"

"Uhhhh..." Applejack gulped, smiling sweatily. "So d-does that mean my story wins over Rainbow Dash's?!"

"Egads, NO!" Rarity sat up, teeth producing sparks. "It's a travesty. A train wreck! A veritable mockery of all that's good in the venerable school of literature!"

"Soooooo..." Rainbow Dash leaned down with a squishy smile. "M-my story's gonna become Twilight's gift, right?"

"They're both abominable!" Rarity barked, her body to the point of shivering. "I truly wish I could understand what in the Goddesses' names could have possessed you to take two completely different narratives that were so delightfully riveting in their own respect, only to unabashedly turn them over on their heads with last-minute prosaic flailings! And you know what kills me?! You both executed the same damning error! Both stories would have been perfect for this enchanted birthday gift, but you simultaneously wrecked them at virtually the same spot! Why, as Celestia is my witness, I swear—it's almost as if you both secretly intended to..." Rarity's words cut off. Dead silence filled the Boutique as she sat there, blinking.

"Yeah?" Rainbow leaned in. "What is it, Rarity?"

"Tell us!" Applejack leaned in right next to Rainbow Dash. "What d-did we intend to do, ya reckon?"

Rarity stood dead still. She looked at Rainbow Dash's fuzzy blue face and prismatic mane... then at Applejack's well-toned orange fuzz and smattering of white freckles.

The mares leaned in closer, their eyes brimming with innocence and anticipation.

"...hrmmmmm..." Rarity leaned back in her sofa, rubbing her cheek in thought. "Yes... yes, but of course..."

"Rarity, sugarcube..." Applejack nervously smiled. "We're waitin' for yer verdict."

"Yeah!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "Twilight's party—like—is in a day and a half! Now, is she going to get an enchanted story from us or isn't she?"

"Yes.. She will. Of course she will." Rarity sat up, smoothing out the velvety folds of her couch cushions. "For I must be the one to write it."

"WHAT?!" both mares squawked at once.

"I do believe you both heard me." Rarity daintily dismounted from the couch and padded across the Boutique. "Now, if you would be so kind as to depart from my presence. I must write, you see."

"You?! But... but..." Rainbow Dash rasped, "I thought you said that you were terrible at writing!"

"Indeed. I do believe I did say that." Rarity reached her desk, levitating a sheet of paper and a quill. "But, alas, desperate times call for desperate measures..."

"Rarity, darlin'. Think sensibly!" Applejack grimaced, fanning herself with her hat. "You barely got two days to come up with a story! Rainbow and I here had fourteen... each!"

"And on top of that!" Rainbow exclaimed. "That comic dude at Quills and Sofa will have even less time to draw the final draft before Twilight's birthday party!"

"I'm quite familiar with our beloved artist," Rarity said in an airy tone. She carried the manuscript paper and pen over to her sofa. "He's used to working with stressful time constraints. Well, if he can do it, then so can I! Celestia knows I'm paying him enough out of my generous account, not yours."

"But... but..." Rainbow pouted.

"We was all in this together, Rarity!" Applejack stammered. "Y'know, as a team!"

"And I shan't cast you both out. Not entirely." Rarity sat down with a sigh. She looked up with calm eyes. "After all, I will need a keen eye to judge the merit of my draft, hmmm?"

"Uhhhh... huh?"

"Tomorrow morning," Rarity said. "At the crack of dawn." Her eyes narrowed. "Be here... and we will resolve this matter once and for all."

"So... wait..." Rainbow Dash scratched her head. "A-are you saying that we're going to go with your story no matter what, or—"

"Just do as I say," Rarity reiterated. "Arrive here at the Boutique tomorrow morning, and all things will be resolved." She smiled devilishly. "In fact, I'm almost certain of it."

"Rarity—"

"Go, Applejack!" Rarity pointed. "You too, Rainbow. For once, can't you both agree to do something together as a team?"

Both mares sighed in frustration. They marched out of Rarity's Boutique in a sullen gait, nevertheless casting each other brief, accusatory glares.

Once they were gone and Rarity heard the releiving clap of the door shutting behind them, she took a deep breath and began writing. Smiling the whole while.

"This is hardly something a little bit of elegance cannot solve..."

Appledash's Turn

As the rooster crowed the following day, sunlight glinted off the eastern windows of the Carousel Boutique. Applejack strolled up from the western farm fields while Rainbow drifted in from the eastern cloudbanks.

"AJ." Rainbow frowned.

Applejack strolled to a stop. "RD."

Dead silence.

"Hmmmph..." Applejack smirked evilly. "Are them some wrinkles I be seein' under yer eyes, speedy? Reckon it'd be a cryin' shame if y'all lost sleep over this!"

"Huh?! Pffft! As if!" Rainbow Dash folded her forelimbs, tilting her chin up. "I-I slept like a bug under a rug... a... a-a cloud rug."

"Uh huhhhh... Real believable."

"Besides, if anypony's been stressing overnight, it's you!"

"Are y'all kiddin'? I was sawin' logs so hard last night, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith asked me to sleep in the barn!"

"But I-I already thought you guys—"

"The other barn!" Applejack growled. "Anyways, just look at you! Can't even touch the ground, yer so tense!"

"Dude! I'm always flying like this! What's your deal?! I bet you're just trying to psych me out so that I'll forfeit and let Twilight receive your story as a birthday gift!"

"Uh uh! Nopony needs me to cheat! Yer story's more rotten than a basket of apples soakin' under the Gallop Gate in summer!"

"Yeah, well, your story has as much a chance of winning Twilight's approval as a snake playing badminton!"

"Yer story couldn't hold itself up if it was stripped of all its money shots and cheap effects!"

"If someone held your story up to their ear, all they'd hear is the roar of every poet who's ever lived rolling in their mass graves!"

"Yer story is a cheap Stallion Wars knockoff!"

"Your story wreaks of Clint Eastwhinny!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

Silence. The two mares glared at each other, red in the face, huffing and puffing.

This carried on for half-a-minute, every second a sweaty one.

Eventually, Applejack turned and glanced at the Boutique. "The hay are we doin' here so early, anyhorse?"

"You tell me! You're the farm filly! Aren't you used to it?"

"Yeah, but it's plum weird for Rarity to ask us to come here at such a time."

"Come to think of it..." Rainbow Dash scratched her head. "You're right."

"Maybe she realizes how pressed we all are for time, so she wants us here as early as possible."

"Then what's holding her up?!" Rainbow frowned, then cupped a pair of hooves over her muzzle. "Open the freakin' door, already, ya vampiric melon fudge!"

"Rainbow..." Applejack pointed. "Shhhh... look."

Rainbow squinted.

The door was cracked open.

Both ponies stopped frowning at each other just long enough to exchange confused glances. One by one, they trotted/hovered toward the door, peering in.

"Rarity...? Sugarcube?"

"Yo, Rares!"

Silence.

"Should... sh-should we go inside?" Rainbow asked.

"Heh! So what?" Applejack frowned. "We might interrupt her story and then she'd have no choice but to choose mine!"

"Uh uh... she'll be choosing mine for Twilight!"

"Are you full of tree sap or somethin'?! You heard how much Rarity was goin' on and on about yer literary shenanigans!"

"Yeah—well... d'uhm... it w-was no worse than how she was prattling off about your bookish boo-boos!"

"Snkkkt... 'bookish boo-boos?'" Applejack smirked. "Is that the best y'all got?!"

"Oh, for Pete's sake..." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Nnngh!" She kicked the door open and flew in. "Rarity!"

"Rainbow, be mannerly!" Applejack winced as she galloped after her. "She's savin' our skin for Twilight's birthday, after all!"

"Only cuz you're trying to drown us all in your bad prose. RARITY?!"

"Stop shoutin' for her! I've got a louder voice!"

"Do not!"

"I does too! RARITY! WHERE ARE Y'ALL, DARLIN'?!"

"We're here to figure out whose story gets to be the gift, remember?! It's totally mine, right?!"

"Dun listen to her, Rarity! We all know it's my western drama!"

"Nuh uh! It's my sci-fi epic!"

"Darn it!" Applejack spun and hissed at the other mare. "For the love of apples, will you stop insistin' that—"

"Hey..." Rainbow Dash pointed straight ahead. "Look."

"Huh?!" Applejack spun. She blinked.

In the center of the room, lying alone on an ivory pedestal, was an open manuscript written on enchanted comic book paper. The illustrations were still only in black-and-white, but even from afar the two ponies could tell that the sheets crackled with magical energy.

"Is that what I th-think it is?" Rainbow Dash stammered.

"Well, I'll be hog-tied and dragged through the latrine," Applejack exhaled. "She gone and done it!"

"You mean she wrote a friggin' story overnight?!"

"It's been known to happen. But where is she?"

"Wait—check it out." Rainbow pointed, flying closer to the pedestal. "There's a note."

"Huh?" Applejack squinted. "Lemme see..."

Sure enough, hanging from the edge of the pedestal was a white sign on silver string. In elegant font, it read with Rarity's clear hoofwriting: "Speak 'Fuzz' and Enter."

"Huh... well I'll be..." Applejack lifted her hat to scratch her scalp. She glanced up at Rainbow Dash. "Reckon she wants us to hop in there on our own?"

"Well, it is the best way to test out what she's written," Rainbow said. "After all, that's what she did for both of us."

"Yes, well..." Applejack plopped her hat back on. "Anythang Rarity's conjured up can't be even a sneeze better than the tearjearkin' story I penned!"

"Pffft! Yeah... and my space battles would blow both clear out of the water!"

"Says you!"

"Dang straight, says me! None of your pony sass can make a difference!"

"As if Twilight would like yer story better than mine or Rarity's!"

"As if Twilight would like any story better than mine!"

"We don't even know what Rarity wrote!"

"Fine, you wanna find out?!" Rainbow Dash growled. "Or are you chicken?!"

"Is that a challenge?!"

"Darn straight, Applejerk!"

"Fine! Consider yerself met!" Applejack flung her hoof up. "Now grab my hoof!"

"Ungh..." Rainbow rolled her eyes and touched down, oblidging the farm filly's request. "Only because we gotta enter the book."

"Now... say it when I say it—"

"I don't need a friggin' tutorial!" Rainbow yelled. She then took a deep, fuming breath.

As did Applejack. Afterwards—

"FUZZ!" they both hollered in harmony. Milliseconds later, tendrils of magical energy leapt out of the comic book, grabbed them, and shrank both mares into ethereal ribbons before dragging them into the tome's enchanted pages.

The Frilly Fluffy Follies of Rainbow Darling and Applefuzz

Soft golden rays of sunlight shimmer over the purple mountains before finally fluttering across the soft powdery cheeks of Princess Rainbow Darling and Princess Applefuzz. The mares sit on the spacious balcony of the crystalline palace overlooking the happy hills of Cherishland. Between the mares' pooling gowns of lavender satin and pink crinoline, there sits a humble table full of teacups and dainty cakes, complete with a fashionable array of lace doilies and delicately perfumed handkerchiefs.

Princess Rainbow Darling's shiny ruby eyes dart betwixt the undulating clouds in the rosy heavens above. A twinkling light glints off her pearl-studded tiara while her mane hangs in lusciously colored curls. The smell of jasmine hair conditioner and vanilla beauty powder wafts up to her tender little nostrils.

"Uhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash coos, wincing immediately at her awkwardly feminine tone. "Applejack, I am... gghht... overwrought with most frightful... nnngh... fr-freakiness..."

Princess Applefuzz takes a sip from a teensy-weensy cup of sugar-sprinkled tea, and it takes a herculean effort to wrench her lace-sleeved forelimb away from her candy-pink lips. Forest-green eyes reflect the lengths of the fabulous palace as her petite chest palpitates from within her richly embroidered pink bodice. "I do declare, Rainbow Dash, I too am sufferin' the vapors..."

Princess Rainbow Darling strains to even turn her neck, looking past her puffy lavender shoulder sleeves. All it takes is one gust of wind, and her face is full of the enchanting cinnamon scent from Princess Applefuzz's intricately braided mane.

"Are you... mmffng... h-having as much trouble moving as... I-I am...?" Her regal eyelashes flutter on their own acord. "My sweet?"

"Reckon I am. It's almost as if I can't... c-can't..." The other mare's freckled face scrunches. She looks over, fuzzy little ears twitching with dangling earrings. "Did y'all just call me 'My sweet?'"

"I... c-can't help it..." Rainbow Darling clutches her hooves together in a dainty pose. Her eyelids grow heavier and heavier. "Can't... st-stop... wanting..." She gulps. "To c-compliment your... exquisite mane..." Her ruby eyes pulse with each resounding heartbeat. "And a-a-adorable apple hairclips..."

"And I yer... y-your fabulous dress and darling petticoats..." Princess Applefuzz tries to clench her teeth, but she nearly blinds Rainbow Darling from how immaculately white they are. "I... I think... I-I think—"

"Rarity," Rainbow Darling lisps.

"Absolutely." Applefuzz nods, cupping a weak fetlock around her trembling chin. "She always did have a princess fetish."

"Th-then why are we both in it, sweetie cakes?" Rainbow Darling winces at her own words, but still fights the urge to speak over her raised teacup. "Nnnggh... and... wh-where is Twilight's character? This d-doesn't make any—"

Whispering gently, Princess Applefuzz reaches across the intricate tea arrangement and caresses Rainbow Darling's cheek. She relishes in the feel of a lock of Rainbow's silken mane as it brushes up against her soft orange fetlock, sending tremors of quivering excitement through the fiery depths of her lace-clad being.

"Applejack?! Wh-what are you—?"

"I can't stop myself... my beauty... Honest! I-I'm trying—"

With a soft sigh, Rainbow Darling nuzzles Applefuzz's caressing hoof. She gives the orange fetlock the most tender of kisses, her breath squeaking through in delight as her lipstick stains the other princess' hoof with gloss and glitter. She leans forward, giving Applefuzz ample access to her shoulders and chin, until the other mare is caressing the dress' neckline with the wildest—yet the gentlest abandon.

"R-Rainbow...?!" Applefuzz stammers from where she's leaning over.

"I... I can't stop it either." (Gulp!) "Oh, Applefuzz—I-I mean Applejack!" She winces. "At this rate... I'll... I mean you'll... I mean we'll...—"

"Well, I know one way to p-put a stop to... stop to..."

"A stop to w-what?!"

"Never you mind!" Applejack forces her neck to face heavenward. She shouts towards the ramparts of the castle, though it only comes out as a weak, sissy murmur: "Plot Override: Nancy Gamma S-Seven!"

Nothing happens.

"Mmmmmm..." Rainbow coos, her breaths growing more and more punctuated with frightful spasms as the top her shoulder pokes out of her gown. "Applejack... wh-what's wrong—?"

"Listen here, comic book!" Applefuzz stammers, trying her best to remain in control of her muzzle... which is getting closer and closer to Rainbow's scrumptious blue neck. "I done told you... Plot Override: N-Nancy Gamma Seven!"

Still nothing. They are still on the verandah. They are still inhaling each other's perfume. They are still merging their poofy dresses into one.

"I... I d-dun get it!" Applefuzz seethes, eyes rolling back. "I mean... I-I do not understand this m-most dismaying circumstance, beloved!"

"Rarity..." Rainbow Darling wheezes, her mane growing tusseled beneath a lopsided tiara as she suddenly leans in and nuzzle-nuzzles Applefuzz. "She... she overrode the override..."

"She... who d-did what...?" Applefuzz murmurs, dazed.

"Somepony... someone..." The other princess' wings finally burst out of her gown as the corset disentegrated around her palpitating body. "S-something to do with... the unicorn... and the place..."

"She... s-set us up..." Applefuzz warbled, leaning in to snifffff her way down Rainbow Dash's neck. "Rarity... it was a set up... this whole thing..."

"Mmmmm-for whatttttttttt...?" Rainbow Darling drools.

Princess Applefuzz turns, gazing sleepily into the bedroom just beyond the balcony where both mares are heatedly seated. Inside, a giant plush canopy bed waits, its lace duvet already unfolded and covered from head to foot with rose petals and honey-scented pillows. Candles flicker atop dressers, tables, vanities, and the edges of a giant open tub steaming with a fresh lavender bath. The air tingles with incense and the exquisite musical notes of a violin record softly crackling in the background.

"Oh dear Celestia," Applefuzz is already moaning. A warm wind blows down from the softening fuchsia sky, urging her out of her seat. She picks up Rainbow Darling—now half naked—and starts carrying her in a playful sashay towards the bathtub and the bed beyond. "I can't... I can't..."

"Then don't! Please!" Rainbow Darling swoons, lying draped over Applefuzz's supple flank with a weak forelimb draped over her flushed face. Her wings drag through the slack velvet curtains gathered beneath them as Applefuzz nearly trips on her diamond-studded heels. "Don't! The last th-thing I want is for you to soak me head-to-tail in that lavender bath and make me sob with tiny tremors of passion..."

"And th-the last thing I wanna do, Rainbow, is gobble up each of those little shrieks with my warm lips wrapped around your tiny muzzle..."

"B-because I totally wouldn't want to have m-my revenge by k-kissing my way up your strong orange body and making you sc-scream my name to the mountains..."

"And I d-don't fancy tearin' the bed off its foundations and the whole castle beneath it with what I-I've always w-wanted to do to yer sassy lil' figure..."

"And I've n-never dreamt of... mmmmm... w-wrapping all my legs around you while you do it..."

"I wouldn't even b-bite yer ear..."

"I wouldn't even let you..."

"Not at all..."

"Rarity's wrong..."

"So wrong..."

"So cruel... for doing this..."

"For... doing you... want to... want to do..." Applefuzz slumps to the ground besides the hot, windswept bath. There's moonlight outside all of the sudden. Stars illuminate the beads of sweat rivuleting down her flanks. She cradles the other princess to her like a pair of deflated flowers. She looks into her eyes. "Rainbow Darling?"

"Yes... m-my beautiful liege?"

Applefuzz gulps. "...you suck."

"So do you." Rainbow Darling rolls her eyes back. "Now do me."

And Princess Applefuzz does.

Rarity's Turn

Rarity sat delicately on a stool, legs crossed. She smiled to herself, humming as she scooped two spoonfuls of sugar and sprinkled them into her levitating teacup. She looked up.

The comic book lay across from her on its pedestal. Dead still.

Rarity blinked. She smiled even more. Adding another spritz of sugar, she stirred her drink and took a sip. Exhaling, she leaned back, breathing calmly into the afternoon light.

Minutes limped by.

She glanced up—pleasantly—at the clock. The short hoof was on the 'three' and the thin hoof was on the 'six.'

Rarity fluffed her mane, took another sip, and waited.

Finally, after another twenty minutes, the pages began flipping... and flipping and flipping and flipping and—

In two flashes of bright light, a pair of mares emerged. A pair of silent mares. Frazzled mares. Blushing mares. They both took one look at Rarity, then instantly turned away in a jolt. They didn't say anything. They didn't even murmur. They gazed at the floor, one of them pawing at the tile with a demure hoof. Applejack's mane and tail had somehow lost their red ties in the teleportation. Rainbow's wings stuck towards the ceiling... and stayed there.

"Well well well!" Rarity smiled elegantly. She looked up at the clock, taking another sip. "Mmmm...!" She gulped it down and pointed. "Three forty-five! My my... that must be... what?" She turned and smiled at the pair. "Seven hours? Seven and a half?" She smiled, teeth showing. "Granted, I'm no expert on the ways of enchanted books... but from what I understand, a single hour of the real world spent in the comic equates to... oh... three or four in the comic world? Which must mean..." She tapped her chin... tapped it some more, then produced a faux gasp. "My word! You must have been in there for twenty-two virtual hours at least! Why... that's like a full day!"

"Mmmm..." Rainbow Dash winced as her stomach growled. "...yeah..."

"You do realize that, with the Plot Override canceled, the comic's... ahem... 'narrative' only ends at the culmination of the actual story. So... tell me..." She raised the teacup once more to her smirking lips. "Did you... achieve your climax?"

Rainbow winced. Applejack cleared her voice. "Ahem... eeeeeyup."

"...several times, perhaps?"

"E-eyup..."

"I see..." Rarity turned her grin over towards Rainbow. "You must be awfully sore."

Rainbow sighed dreamily. "Yeah..." Her eyes bulged. "Er, I mean uh uh! I-I mean no! I-I..."

"Snnkkt..." Applejack face-hoofed, her freckles disappearing completely in the red sea her muzzle had become.

"Unnnnngh..." Rainbow Dash buried her face against the tile floor like a blue ostrich... with outstretched wings.

"Would you... perhaps..." Rarity stretched and yawned casually before fluffing her mane. "Mmmm... say that you got your aggressions out? And then some?"

The mares said nothing. They exchanged glances with one another, then winced all the more, immediately looking toward the walls.

Rarity took one last sip, then placed the teacup down on a nearby table. "'Tis the wonderful thing about competition." She folded her lower legs and leaned forward on the stool. "It brings about the best in you. Only, on this occasion, it brought it out in two separate, branching directions. But, now that we've crossed the streams as t'were, could we officially declare that you have the passion out of your system? Hmmm?"

Both mares nod-nod-nodded.

"And can we now work together to make sure that Twilight feels as... ahem... satiated as you both do now?"

The two mares glanced at Rarity, eyes blinking bright.

Rarity rolled her eyes. "I mean as tomorrow's birthday mare, of course."

"Oh... uh... sure..."

"Darn tootin'."

"It's... all about Twilight."

"From now on."

"Ahem." Rainbow Dash coughed, nodding. "Right."

Applejack looked at her. "Right?"

"Right."

"Good." Rarity nodded. "Very good." She stood up, stretched her legs, and girl-stepped towards the two. "Now... I'm awfully tired from staying up all night, penning that... mmmm... curious masterpiece I spontaneously dreamed up. And, so you know, our artist friend at Quills and Sofa is as perfectly confidential as he was sixteen days ago. So... he most certainly won't give you princesses a strange look when you drop a new and final manuscript off at his shop this afternoon. At least..." Rarity stopped in place, smirking. "Not too terrible a look."

"No... I-I reckon not..."

"Thanks, Rarity." Rainbow gulped. "We... we won't fail Twilight."

"I imagine not." Rarity's eyes narrowed. "After all... you've had your rest and relaxation, haven't you?"

Both mares glanced at each other, making solid eye contact for the first time since leaping out of the book.

"How delightful! I'm glad that we could come together on this... ahem... so to speak. Now, if you don't mind..." Rarity yawned again. "I must retire. Beauty sleep and all." She turned to leave, but paused. A beat. She turned about, then leaned in, whispering in both mares' ears. "Play nice, and I'll even let you take the draft I made home with you."

Applejack and Rainbow stared, eyes bright.

Rarity's lips curved. "Now... I'm not that much of a monster, am I?" Then, with a swish of her tail, she daintily trotted up the stairs to the top floor of Carousel Boutique.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash turned towards each other. They gazed in silence. They both turned to look at the comic book still resting on the pedestal. Then, eventually, they looked at each other once again.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow gritted her teeth. "Speed writing?"

Applejack grinned evilly. "Speed writing."

Rainbow Dash bit her lip, wingtips fluttering as her cheeks turned rosy.

"What are ya waitin' for, princess?!" Applejack swatted her with her tail. "Let's get to space laserin'!"

Rainbow Dash galloped towards a stack of paper sheets. "So long as you bring the poncho!"

Applejack's teeth yanked a pen from its spot on the desk. "Mrmmmf! Way ahead of y'all!"

Sparkle Lavender Light Saves the Universe and Everypony In It!

Ka-ZAAAP!

"Oooof!" Ebon Soul flies off his space wagon, crumpling to a smoking heap across the arid, lunar surface. "Nnnnngh... curses! How did you find my Goblin Rush Gang?!"

"Hue Hue Hue!" Ravishin' Prism strikes a gallant pose besides here partner. "It's very simple, Ebon! Your last few mercenary jobs for the Goblin Emperor were so terribly bungled, we traced your space debris all the way here to Whinny Gulch!"

"That's right, ya stinkin' varmint!" Astro Dust hisses, twirling a revolver as she chews on a glowing haystalk. "Only you would be the sort of snivelin' coward to think that y'all could hide in this here asteroid minin' town!"

"But now your bounty hunting days are over!" Twilight Sparkle shouts, beaming in her space-suit, complete with a glowing cowfilly hat and a spectral poncho. She strikes a heroic pose between the other two heroes. "All thanks to us!" She spreads her alicorn wings wide in victory. "The Threatening Three!"

"Noooooo!" Ebon Soul whimpers as he disentegrates into orcish ashes. "I've been defeated by the—grkkk—apple dash liiiiiiiight!"

"Spoken like a true madstallion!" Twilight spits, then twirls towards the other characters. "Squeeee! We did it! That was so fun fun funnn!" She claps her hooves.

"Whoah whoah whoah whoah..." Clakka-Clak! Ravishin' Prism retracts her helmet and glares at the alicorn. "What do you mean we did it?"

The birthday mare blinks, her violet eyes quivering. "But... b-but I thought..."

"It was all you, Sparkle Lavender Light!" Astro Dust reaches forward and hoists Twilight up onto her shoulders. "We wouldn't have gotten anywhere if it weren't for yer expert snoopin' and sleuthin!"

"Awwwww..." Twilight sniffles, hiding part of her face behind curled forelimbs. "I-I was only trying to help!"

"'Help?!'" Ravishin' Prism hovers up on thruster engines. Her smile reflects the sheen of intergalactic starlight. "You practically did all the adventuring for us! The ponies of Whinny Gulch owe their lives to you! The sidekick of the year!"

"Yeeeee-haaaaa!" Astro Dust tosses her hat while raising Twilight high. "Let's hear it for Sparkle Lavender Light! The most darin', adventurous mare who ever did live!"

Now that it's safe, the Pony villagers poke their heads out of storefronts, space ships, saloons, and biodomes. They wave their hats, laser blasters, and hooves in joy, cheering and chanting Twilight's character's name.

"Sparkle Lavender Light! Sparkle Lavender Light! Sparkle Lavender Light!"

"Best Sidekick! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!"

Twilight sniffles again, her eyes growing teary. "Awwwwwww... this... th-this is such a wonderful, happy ending!" She wipes her lavender cheek dry, blushing and squealing even more. "Really, it's the best birthday gift I've ever g-g-g-g-g—"

Her voice disappears as her body does, sucked into a singularity of collapsing magical essence.

Happy Birthday, Twilight!

In a flash of light, Twilight Sparkle materialized on the confetti-strewn floor of Sugarcube Corner.

"—gotten!" She gasped. A blink. She looked around, and then her body slumped with drooping ears. "Awwww... it's over."

"Twilight!" Rarity looked up from a basket of socks she was darning. With a happy smirk, she got up and trotted across the nightlight windows. "You're back! At last! Wellllll?" She leaned in, smiling. "How was itttt?"

"I..." Twilight pawed at the floor, shuddering. "I really... really liked it." She gulped and looked up with a tender smile, blushing slightly. "I liked it so much, I-I didn't want it to end!"

"Well, that's the magic about... erm... m-magic comic books, darling!" Rarity rested a hoof on the alicorn's shoulder. "You can repeat the experience any time you wish! With multiple variables to the narrative, even!"

"Oh yeah!" Twilight blinked back at the book. "That's true! Wow, Rarity. Do you know how to give a gift or do you know how to give a gift?!"

"Hmmmm..." Rarity smiled with a delightful shudder. "I try not to brag."

"Horseapples!" Twilight gasped, blinking out the empty eatery's windows. "It's super late! When did the party end?"

"About thirty minutes after you indulged us by hopping into the book."

"Yes, but how long ago from now?" Twilight winced with guilt. "And just how long have you been here... waiting?"

"Never you mind!" Rarity tilted her nose up. "You're the birthday girl! You're entitled!"

"Awwwwwww..." Twilight squirmed, giggling as her party hat slumped down until it looked like a second horn. "Rarityyyyy..."

"Nuh uh uh! None of that! However, I would like to know what you thought about the gift!"

"I already told you!" Twilight practically hopped in place. "I loved it."

"I desire specifics, dear," Rarity said with a grin. "Applejack and Rainbow Dash did work overnight to make it the way it was, after all."

"Oh yeah! That's right!" Twilight blinked. "Gosh, I was going to say. They looked really, really tired at the party earlier this afternoon. Heehee!"

"Mmm... yes... well..." Rarity cleared her throat. "Nevertheless, entertain a lady, why don't you? Tell me your thoughts!"

"Oh... it was utterly fantastic!" Twlight paced in a circle, her face beaming with fresh enthusiasm. "The space battles! The explosive moments! The dramatic moments! Ravashin' Prism's toys and Astro Dust's backstory! It felt so rich and yet so riveting at the same time! From the first battle with the Goblin Gauntlet to the duel with Ebon Soul!"

"Ahhh... I see..." Rarity nodded, smiling. "So, no flaws, then?"

"Absolutely none!" Twilight smiled. A blink. "Er... well..."

Rarity leaned forward. "What?"

"Heh—nah..." Twilight chuckled, waving a hoof. "Forget I said anything—"

"Tell me!" Rarity took a bold step. "If there's something wrong with it, I want to know!"

"It was perfect, Rarity!"

"No, Twilight, I insist!" She smiled. "I have plenty of bits from my last contract and the commission artist at Quills and Sofas is still on hold! I can make the alterations if I need to!"

"Well..." Twilight Sparkle tapped her hooves together, blushing bashfully. "If... if it's n-not too much?"

"Name it, darling." Rarity grinned. "Just what would you improve about it?"

"The ending was just so satisfying... except for one thing!" Twilight spun about, forelimbs spread wide. "Ravishin' Prism and Astro Dust!"

"... ... ..." Rarity blinked, her muzzle locked in a smile. "...what about them?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Isn't what obvious?"

"They love each other, Rarity!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. "They should have—I dunno—kissed or made out or at least nuzzled each other right at the end!"

"Right..." Rarity's left eye twitched. "...at the e-end?"

"Now I can't go to sleep tonight without wondering about the two mares!" Twilight squirmed in place. "Do they ever express their love to one another? Do they ever consummate?!"

"It... you... th-they..." Rarity gurgled, teetering backwards.

"I'm telling you—the only thing that story needed was a romantic sub-plot!" Twilight couldn't hear Rarity's fainting noise from the sound of her own gasps. "Oooh! What if... hee-hee... what if I wrote my own Ravishin' Prism and Astro Dust fan script?! Would Ravidust literature be considered an infringement on a commissioned magical comic book?" Silence. Twilight spun about, smiling innocently. "...Rarity?"