Hitched

The main six, plus Spitfire and Fleetfoot sped down the road at accelerating speed. Excitement was in the air. “Oooh, I can’t believe our Rainbow Dash is getting married!” Rarity cooed, hugging the bride to be.

Fluttershy wiped away a tear. “Oh, it feels like only yesterday when we were little fillies, and you believed that boys had cooties!” The others laughed at this. Rainbow blushed.

“We’re going to have the best time, Dashie!” Pinkie exclaimed, suddenly appearing beside the Pegasus. “Look! I brought Jell-O!“

Fleetfoot was alarmed, and was about to ask who the heck was driving, until she saw Pinkie’s tail steering the wheel. Spitfire shook her head and sighed. Why, out of all of these ponies, is Pinkie Pie the one who’s driving? She thought.

Rainbow Dash nudged her arm. “I’m glad you two could come to the wedding,” she said with a grin.

Then she turned to the rest of her friends. “Now, I do have to say, though, things cannot get too crazy tonight. I am getting married tomorrow, and my whole family’s coming out, so --I can’t believe I’m saying this-- but no funny business. Like, for instance, slipping me weird substances, like they did in The Hangover.”

Pinkie chortled. “Okay, first of all, that was a movie, and not a very realistic one! I mean, only crazy ponies do that kind of stuff!”

Applejack grinned. “Uh, I’d say we were far from normal, sugar cube.”

Rarity stood up and tapped a glass she was holding up with her magic. “Ahem, attention, everypony, attention.” Everyone stopped their conversations. Rarity raised seven glasses filled with sparkling cider and levitated them to each pony on the jeep. “A toast,” she said. “To our very own Rainbow Dash, who we know and love, and that she may get every bit of love and happiness she deserves.”

Everyone cheered, including Spitfire and Fleetfoot, as the clinked their glasses together.

Suddenly, Twilight’s eyes practically bulged out of their sockets. “PINKIE, WATCH THE ROOOOAAAAD!!!”  Everyone else quickly turned to see about 15 pegasus high school students in gym clothes flying right towards them.

Everyone screamed as Pinkie quickly jumped behind the wheel, and turned it with all her might, missing the students in the nick of time. Pinkie sighed in relief, and turned to look back at the passengers. “Everypony okay?” The girls were all sprawled out in the jeep, and were piled against one another, letting out low moans of discomfort.

“We’re… good.” Said Applejack, her voice muffled. The others finally found their voices again.

“Twilight, get your butt out of my face!”

“Sorry.”

“Ouch! That was my tail!”

“Pardon.”

“…Um… who’s sunglasses are these?”

“Spitfire, watch the mane!”

"Oh, my pancreas.."

“Dear pony who is sitting on my head… would you be so kind as to GET OFF!!!”

Pinkie smiled sheepishly at the group. “Heh… sorry about that.”

Spitfire groaned as soon as everyone had managed to untangle themselves, and  she retrieved her sunglasses. This would be no easy task. These mares were more excitable than she thought. However, she truly was honored to be accompanying Rainbow Dash for her bachelorette party. She would try to make it work, despite the current circumstances.

Rainbow rubbed her head gently. “Ugh… could somepony tell me why Pinkie’s driving again?”

Pinkie scoffed indignantly. “Well, you wanted to go fast, didn't you?” She turned back to face the road with a determined grin on her face. “Now, buckle up, every pony. We’re almost there!”

Everyone’s eyes popped out of their heads, and Pinkie slammed on the accelerator, the sound of the engines drowning out the chorus of protests.

“WAAAAIIIIIIT!!!!”

After almost losing their lives about four more times, the girls had finally arrived at the hotel. They opened the door to their new suite, which looked like a step up from Buckingham palace.

“Oooh, this is going to do just fine!” Rarity marveled, trotting around the room with stars in her eyes.

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie immediately went to the huge sofas and jumped up and down on the plush furniture excitedly. “Wheeee!” Pinkie shouted.

Applejack went over to the fruit basket that sat on one of the coffee tables. Twilight and Fluttershy walked over to the windows, admiring the spectacular view.

Spitfire and Fleetfoot casually had a look around, and the captain stopped at the bedroom. She turned to the others, and lowered her sunglasses. “Hey, I see that there’s only one bed? Not to be a pain or anything, but I’ve got back issues, and cot is not an option.”

“Ditto for me.” Rarity said, poking her head out from the bathroom.

“Who said anything about sleeping?” Fleetfoot said mischievously, pulling out her suitcase.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity called, pulling out her dress making material. “Come with me, I need to double check your measurements for the wedding dress.” Rainbow stopped bouncing on the couch, and flew over to Rarity. “I think you’re going to like this one Rainbow.”

The Pegasus beamed. “Sweet!” The two mares went into the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

Pinkie Pie hopped down from the couch. “I’m gonna check out the casino!” she said cheerfully. “See you guys later!”

Twilight blinked. “Wait, are you even old enough to…” The pink pony had already hopped her way out the door.

Applejack quickly wiped her mouth with a napkin and ran after her hyperactive cousin. “I better make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.” She said nervously, as she left the room.

Fleetfoot pulled out a number of flashy dresses, and tossed them out to Twilight and Fluttershy. “Let’s suit up!” She said, grinning. The two mares gawked at the choice of clothing.

“Oh my!” Fluttershy murmured.

Twilight let out a series of nervous giggles. “Ha ha… did an escort lend these to you?” Twilight said jokingly. Fluttershy giggled along with her.

Fleetfoot lowered her glasses, and gave them a serious glare. “No,” she deadpanned. “They’re mine.”

Twilight and Fluttershy exchanged horrified glances. Twilight then quickly looked down at her dress. “Oh, well, uh, n-now that I… look at it,  I mean..”

“Yeah.”

“This is exactly the kind of dress that I would love to buy myself but that I wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn't have the guts..”

“Right, t-to buy it m-myself!”

“Right.”

Fleetfoot continued to stare at them, while Spitfire sat on one of the couches with her eyebrows raised. Fleetfoot then broke out into a grin. “Girl, I’m just messin’ with you!”

Twilight and Fluttershy broke out into a fit of nervous laughter. “Ha Ha… good one, Fleetfoot.” Twilight chuckled halfheartedly.

“You sure got us!” Fluttershy giggled unconvincingly.

Spitfire pulled out some drinks from the cooler. If they were going to be here, they were at least going to have a bit of fun. “Alright girls, let’s do some cider shots!” Fleetfoot gave a whoop of appreciation.

Fluttershy gulped. “I, um, have to go to the little fillies room.” She zoomed inside the bathroom and slammed the door shut before anyone could say anything else.

Spitfire turned to the lavender alicorn. “That leaves you, Twilight.”

Twilight pursed her lips. “Yeah, um, I don’t really do cider shots. In fact, I rarely drink, unless it’s sweet Apple Acres cider, and that's pretty light.”

“Oh, come on, Twi!” Fleetfoot pleaded.

Twilight shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no, no. Really. It’s just that, no, it’s not a great idea.” Spitfire walked over to Twilight with a drink in her hoof.

“I mean… I’m in charge of planning the wedding!”

Spitfire smirked and held out the drink, her eyelids lowered. “And I’m in charge of making Princesses do shots.”

Twilight gasped, and glared at Spitfire. Then she smirked, and accepted the glass from the captain. “Alrighty then,” She said, squinting her eyes. “See you in the ER.” With that said, she lifted the glass to her lips, and downed the entire drink within seconds.

Spitfire smiled approvingly. “Alright!” She took the glass from her, and went back to the cooler, while Twilight let out a raspy sound, and flexed her shoulders.  “Twenty more, girl, twenty more!”

Down at the casino, Pinkie Pie and Applejack exited the food area with drinks in their hooves, the cups glowing at the rims. Pinkie Pie balanced cheese fries on her back. Applejack shook her head. “I still can’t believe you lied about your age like that,” she said disapprovingly.

Pinkie took a big sip out of her drink. “Well, I’m almost twenty-one, Applejack, so technically, it’s not lying.”

“Your birthday isn’t ‘till next May. You’re not even close!”

“Details, details! Look at all those ponies, wasting their bits like that!  But if we…”

Applejack gave her a look of warning. “Pinkie Pie…”

The pink pony sighed, and rolled her eyes. “I know, I know. We can look, but we can’t touch.”

“It’s for the best.” The farm pony said, taking a slurp out of her own drink. “Hey, Isn’t that Soarin?”

Pinkie turned her head and saw the future groom, strutting through the casino. Pinkie beamed and picked up her pace. “Let’s go say hi!”

Applejack nodded as she leaned over and took a bite out of Pinkie’s cheese fries.

“Whoo! Soarin! He’s movin’ his hips, workin’ the room!” Pinkie giggled.

“Somepony’s havin’ fun!” Applejack chimed in.

Soarin turned around and grinned. “Oh, hey, gals! Yeah, I’ve got to say, it is good to be here. I mean, you won’t believe this, but I get so caught up with work, and opposing the health care law at a grass roots level, that sometimes I just forget to you know, cut loose and have some fun!”

Pinkie nodded. “You always need to have time to have some fun! By the way, where’s Spike?”

Soarin chuckled lightly. “Spike couldn’t get in. He didn’t pass the age restriction, but he is allowed where the water attraction is, so we decided to have the bachelor party there. I just thought I could hang out here for a while with my buddies.”

“Aw, that was real nice of you Soarin.” Applejack complimented.

“Thanks.”

“Hey Soarin!” The ponies turned their heads and saw Thunderlane waving from the Slot machines. “Dude, I just scored 20 bucks!”

Soarin rolled his eyes and shook his head good naturedly. “I’d better make sure he doesn’t spend too much money on that thing. Catch you later, girls.”

“Bye!”

“See you later!”

Applejack turned her attention to a large cuisine at the far end of the casino. “Be right back.” She said, transfixed.

Pinkie smiled and shook her head as her friend left. Then something caught her eye. A grey earth pony, just a few aisles down. She had seen him before! Weren’t the Wonderbolts on the lookout for this guy? Pollack something? Something inside her brain suddenly clicked.

Holy pickles. He’s here!

Back at the hotel suite, Spitfire, Fleetfoot, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity were all wearing those… interesting choice of dresses, laughing, drinking cider, and having a good time. They had bonded over the last hour.

The mares were hanging out on the couch, having fits of laughter, when Fleetfoot got up, and walked behind the couch. “Hey, girls, girls, girls! Is it just me, or has it gotten hot up in here?”

Before anyone could answer, a whistle blew, and music started blaring from the stereo.

A muscular pony dressed in a police outfit came out of nowhere. “You have a right to remain silent!” He declared, jumping on a coffee table in front of them. All of the girls screamed as he started dancing. Rainbow fell backwards in a fit of laughter.

“Shake it, baby!” Fleetfoot hooted.

The stallion grinned, as he started throwing his equipment aside. “Oh, my!” Rarity and Fluttershy said in unison with very different expressions on their faces.

The pony started shaking and shimmying. Spitfire laughed while she drank. “That is not okay!” Twilight shouted, pointing her hoof at the stallion, grinning from ear to ear. “That is illegal!”

Then, she got a better look at his face, and frowned. It couldn’t be. The pony stopped, and really looked at the mares for the first time. He slowly removed his sunglasses.

The cheering stopped, and everyone’s jaws practically fell to the floor as they looked up at the pony before them. Fluttershy gasped in horror.

“Bulk Biceps?” Spitfire said in disbelief.

The muscular pony  had an extreme look of guilt on his face. “I- I can explain!” he stuttered.

“I am sober now.” Twilight said.

Bulk looked over at Rainbow Dash and grinned sheepishly. “Congratulations.”

Rainbow simply raised her eyebrows as she sipped her drink.