Chapter 1 (edited)

Dear Diary,

My name is Connor, and today was far from typical, having found myself in this strange mystical world of colorful sentient equines, and other various creatures that I could only guess came from a Dungeons and Dragons Monster Manual. I’m not joking, this place looks like that a twelve year old girl found her brothers Dungeons and Dragons city/world building books, and a monster manual, and just went to town with the pastel.

To anyone who may ever read this, I suppose I should describe the events that lead me to this…heaven…hell, I’m not sure what to think of it yet. I’m getting off track it all started with me showing up to school around nine o’clock, about half an hour late for my first period. I was going to get detention anyway, so I started walking around in the courtyard. It was a rather pathetic courtyard to be honest. It was right in the middle of the school, and there is no grass, tables, or anything. Only cement laying upon that lonely earth. No one ever looked there, and no one ever came out there, so I decided to hang out around there. About an hour later, I notice something in the corner, it was a mirror that someone had left. Me being the curious jackass that I was, I went over to it, and picked it up. It was in perfect condition, other than the dirt that stained the glass, which I promptly cleaned off. I stared into it for a bit, and nothing happened.

That’s when today took a turn for the strange. A tiny beam of light struck down on the mirror, which then reflected onto me. The light got larger and larger, and larger until it reflected a beam the size of my head , and then the size of my torso, then my entire body. My mind was racing, and everything became a blur from there. I think I went into the mirror, and then ended up in a rather…different place.

The air was thick, and extremely humid in the forest that I ended up in. I would have liked to say I braved the forest and walked out unscathed, however that is far from the case. I had somewhat of a panic attack as I looked upon the alien surroundings, and sort of fell down, and laid against a tree hoping that someone would find me eventually. A few hours passed, and what I know now was a probably a little animal growled or something, and I ran with my tail between my legs. About an hour of running, becoming exasperated, and then running again later and I made it out of that forest, which I now know is the Everfree, but I prefer to call it ‘fuckthatforest’.
Upon leaving the woods though, I came to see where I would be living for probably the rest of my days. It was a little color filled town, that I would soon know as Ponyville. I, trying to forget my cowardice within fuckthatforest, started to confidently walk towards that quaint little town. This is about when I broke my record for most amount of panic attacks in a day.

So, I hear two voices, making conversation about a harvest or something, so I go to investigate. Maybe they could tell me where I was, simple plan right? Well, that was when I learned of the primary organism that inhabited this….again, still trying to decide whether it’s a heaven or hell. I saw two, one orange, and one a reddish color. They had these strange marks on their flanks, but I could not make them out, because once I saw those…things, I fell on my ass and started questioning reality. I genuinely thought I was dreaming at that point. Well, I thought I was dreaming since I was in the forest, but then I really did, more so than ever.
They hadn’t noticed me at first, but when they did I must admit it was rather hilarious. They saw me, a man standing in at six feet and two inches, and weighing easily twice their weight if not more, just sitting maybe five feet away from them, shaking my head, and mumbling to myself. I would have been terrified too, but I don’t think I would have screamed like a little girl and ran away. I would have screamed like a man and ran away.
Judging by the sun at least, it was about three P.M when a group of those equines, for whatever reason I’ve never been partial to the name pony, it just seems so sophomoric to me, were conversing about a harvest.

Where was I, oh yes, around three P.M. I had finally managed the strength, mental and physical, to walk closer towards their little town. It was not humid like in the forest, but it was not cold, far from it. It was very warm, comfortable, but it made the few mile walk aggrivating as all hell, especially since I had to walk down a steep hill to get to it.

When I did get there though, I had a wonderful welcoming party of a large bloody stallion charging at me and knocking me on my ass and out cold. Macintosh, you’ve made my shit list, that’s all I have to say about that.

When I awoke I was bound, and tied to an apple tree. My head pounding, and surrounded by three equines. A purple one with wings and and a horn, which I have no word for. One that was just a simple equine, who swiftly introduced herself as Applejack, to which the purple one introduced herself as Twilight Sparkle. Big macintosh never introduced himself, rather Applejack did after a rather awkward silence had occurred.
They questioned me as if I was a prisoner, and to a degree I was. I felt like a damn black guy that walked into Alabama while that really racist cop was on patrol. Got knocked out, tied up, and now being questioned on stupid shit because I’m not a pastel pony.

“What’s your name.” One had asked,

“Where are you from?” another had asked,

“Why are you here, what are you?” I had answered, "Connor, Georgia,

I don’t know, and a human, respectively."

I thought I was paranoid till I met this Twilight Sparkle, I said I didn’t know, because honestly I didn’t, and then she continued questioning my intentions, and honestly I had none, and I still don’t have any…aside from knocking out Macintosh, because that was extremely uncalled for, knocking me out and all that. I would have gone with them, but nah, just hit in me in the head, maybe cause major brain damage, it’ll be fine.
She even used something that I could only guess is magic on me to make me tell the truth, and she got the truth, I had no intentions, I barely even knew where I was. I still don’t, to be completely frank.

When they untied me I started laughing, and allow me to elaborate on why. I’m literally two and a half times the size of Applejack, and about twice the size of Twilight Sparkle, I hadn't gotten a close look at one of these native equines and our comparisons, until now. I’m a bloody giant in this world!
The three started talking, and by the three I mean Twilight Sparkle and Applejack while me and Macintosh starting staring eachother down.
They told me I would be staying with a pegasus called Fluttershy, apparently because she’s good with animals or something. “I’m not an ape.” I said to her, but she ignored me and ordered that I follow her.

I don’t think I hate Twilight Sparkle, but she can rather bossy, yeah, I’m the equivalent of a monster alien that if I sat on a pony I would probably snap its spine in half, but you don’t need to be arrogant to the point of completely ignoring me when I say that I’m not an ape. I mean, this equine bloody called me an animal no more than that of a bear or a rabbit. I know I shouldn’t make a big deal about this, but just fuck.

They led me to Fluttershy’s cottage to which I realized that I would not have comfortable lodgings as I had to bend over quite a bit to squeeze into the home. However once inside I could stand up straight without hitting my head on the ceiling, and even then it was maybe a foot or two above my head at the highest point, let alone that damn chandelier.

Fluttershy was kind enough, although if I hadn't already seen a bunch of talking ponies of a variety of colors and whatnot, I would have thought her to be a bit sickly. Her fur is yellowish, and then a pink mane with what looked to be some butterflies on her flank. The only other strange thing about her would be the complete and utter terror she was feeling whenever near me. I guess it isn’t that strange, I mean if a stone giant walked up to me, no matter how friendly it was, and how many bags of Twinkies it was giving me, I would be scared of it. I tried talking to her, and that ended rather abruptly, when she got scared shitless…apparently she didn’t know I could speak English, well…I guess they call it Equine, but it’s nearly the same thing.

A long story short I eventually just said “fuck it.” And starting writing this in a notebook I had on me. I’m writing this laying within Fluttershy’s home on the floor, it’s nearly midnight and I believe I should retire for the evening, perhaps tomorrow will be a little less…weird. It’s not likely.