Dear Diary

Dear diary,

One would think a hospital would be rather uneventful, and in my final few minutes before falling into a deep sleep I thought I would only write a few words about my staying in this building. However, being a human in a hospital built for ponies, interesting things happen.

The day began simple enough. I awoke to the sounds of birds chirping their wondrous song, and the various doctors racing around the hospital to their patients as if they had just snorted a line of cocaine off a passed out hooker’s ass. It was hectic yes, but for a change I didn’t see the hectic part. You see, I’ve always had an aversion for crowds, so I would spend most of my time in the library reading various novels...some less modest than others. It was quiet there, and that’s why I made it my haven, and for whatever reason the same feeling I had in that library I have here. It’s a good feeling, but it was swiftly interrupted by good ole Pinkie Pie. Speaking of someone who is coked up, when she came in, she couldn’t shut her mouth. I know she means well, but I think she may have been better off somewhere where I wasn’t. Ugh, I need to stop being such a cynic. It gets us no where.

There were a couple of good things that came along with her visit. One of those things being a delicious pastry that I would have presumed to be a large crepe, and I would have presumed correctly. However, this was no ordinary crepe. This was the most delicious thing I had tasted in ages! She also started questioning me about what had happened to me. I essentially told her that I promised to tell Rainbow Dash the story as well, and Pinkie ought to just hang around so I wouldn’t have to tell it twice. She agreed, but then she starting telling me an intriguing story.

The setting, a rock farm. All right! No! I haven’t ranted in a while, but who the fuck has a rock farm! I mean, maybe it’s what they call a quarry of some sort, but an actual farm like one where they grow corn, but instead they collect rocks. This can not be an actual thing. However, it went on that one day while she was rummaging around in the fields she found something peculiar. Typically in the rock fields you would find, well...rocks. However, she found something that she claims to have kept to this day. A strange radiating red gem. She claimed it to be the size of a diamond from one those silly James Bond movies, or Batman cartoons, but it was garnet red, and in the shape of well...a diamond. It’s glow even irradiated heat. She had never seen anything natural like that before, and yet to since. I asked to see it once I was out of the hospital, and she happily agreed.

A few hours of mindless chatter passed, and Rainbow Dash came in, carrying a jug of something on her back. I call it something even now, because she never explained what it was very thoroughly. It tasted like alcohol, but very lightly. It was as if they mixed rum and apple cider. Sufficient to say, it did not last long in my hands. I love rum way too much.

After I had started sipping on that wonderful treat, I asked her if she would like to hear the tale of what I saw and did that day. They said yes, and honestly Rainbow Dash seemed to be the most excited to hear the tale, especially after the wreck she had seen me in, and that dead pony that was with me.

I must admit, I did embellish the story a bit. It basically went like this.

It was the middle of the morning, and we had just left the guest sleeping quarters of the Canterlot castle. Me and my partner William were walking along the tracks, as we thought it would be impractical to actually take the train considering our predicament. We didn’t want to scare the other ponies that would have been riding that day. As we walked, William grew hungry, so we decided to go out hunting off the train tracks. You see, William is somewhat of a carnivore, and I’m an omnivore, and we need meat to survive (I can’t believe I actually said that so nonchalantly, but they seemed unfazed by my saying that.) After about a mile of walking, we came across a feral gryphon. The beast had red eyes that could stare through your soul, talons like spears, and a beak that looked as if it could pierce mithril. It’s flesh could be that of plate mail, and its roar would pain anyone who would have the misfortune of hearing it. When we found it, it was dining on a poor pony that was probably just wandering about from a nearby farming community. Me and William charged the beast, and we were only able to clip its wing before it charged me me and him. William was left mostly undamaged, but I ended up talons ripping into my flesh. It was then that I swung my sword at it, and took one of its legs with me. Then, in a furious battle I dove upon the beast and slayed it, with some help from my compatriot. He was a greedy thing though, because he ate most of the gryphon before I could even make it into rations. We then looked upon the poor pony, and we thought it was unfit for it to have such a fate, so we brought it here.

Pinkie Pie looked a little bit off from the tale, I don’t think she was expecting something like that. Rainbow Dash on the other hand seemed a bit impressed, and started asking more questions. Such as, “Do you still have the sword.” As soon as she asked the question, I pulled the shortsword from where I had hidden it on my person. It still had some dried blood on it. She then asked if I had ever done something like this in my world. This is about the time I started telling her a few things I seldom told anyone, ever.

“I was a coward in my old world, I would always shy down from confrontation, and I could hardly speak with anyone out of fear of people ridiculing me for whatever reason. I had friends sure, but for whatever reason I always had this feeling that people hated me, it was not my rational mind talking, but still. I also tended to be a paranoid and careful individual. However, coming here has given me a new lease on the life. I feel like a main character in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Also, when you need meat to survive, and you haven’t had it in a week you tend to be desperate.”

Her final question was, “Who is William?”

That was about the time I realized I needed to speak with Fluttershy. I asked Pinkie if she could retrieve her for me, and after about a half hour, she did.

Maybe it’s because I was hospitalized, but Fluttershy seemed to much more at ease with me now than when we first met. I basically told her where William was staying, and told her to feed him something, and make sure he is okay.

Then I got to have the lovely experience of explaining who William is. I told them he was a rat just a bit smaller than a train car, and isn’t very fond of ponies. I explained that he also isn’t the most tame of beasts, and when I found him, he was terrorizing prisoners and guards in the Canterlot dungeon. I also told her that she may want to bring someone who can help contain him, should it become too much for her to handle. She laughed at the notion and explained that she has never failed at handling an animal. I wished her luck, and she walked out.

After a few more minutes of mindless chatter a nurse came in, and said it was time for everyone to leave me to rest. About an hour has passed since that moment, and I truly am exhausted. I wonder what will happen tomorrow, I wonder if Fluttershy will be able to handle William. Probably not.