"Come on, come on!" Blossomforth huffed. "Sweet Celestia, Thunderlane, you're so slow sometimes!"
I snorted at her and continued on at my leisurely pace. The mare rolled her eyes, hovering in a mid-air backstroke several body lengths in front of me. "You know, you still haven't told me where we're going," I replied.
"Yes I did, we're going to play poker."
I couldn't help but notice the way she put just a bit of added emphasis on the word "poker". "Yeah," I said, "but that doesn't tell me anything. You play poker all the time in Cloudsdale, so what makes this worth the trip to Ponyville just to play cards? And why invite me?"
Blossomforth shied back, her bright blue eyes wide and innocent. "Who said anything about Ponyville?"
"Not you, that's for sure," I muttered under my breath. I sighed and pointed down to where Ponyville was clearly visible beneath us.
"Oh, right."
"And unless we're flying all the way to the Badlands, this seems like our stop."
"Yeah, you're right," Blossomforth admitted with a grin.
I sighed again, but I couldn't resist a smile at her irrepressible good cheer. Any other mare might have blushed at being called out, but never Blossom. If the last two years together at Clousdale Community College hadn't taught me that, then I hadn't learned anything in my time there.
Come to think of it, I probably would have learned a lot more in my time at CCC without Blossomforth around to constantly distract me and try to drag me into schemes and weird, unsanctioned activities. Overall, though, I'd call it a net positive. I hadn't gotten kicked out of the school yet for setting anything on fire, and for all of her hyper quirkiness, Blossomforth was one of the best friends I'd ever had.
Ahead of me, she turned back around, diving slightly and scanning the ground for her secret destination. I dropped altitude myself to follow, trailing behind in the wake of her vibrant pink and green mane, as I had been doing for the last hour or so.
"Seriously," I called out to her, "what's so special about this game? Is it a regular group or something?"
Blossom ignored me, infuriatingly enough, choosing instead to simply lead me towards a small house outside of Ponyville's proper city limits. We touched down, coming to a smooth halt in front of the door.
As she went for the door's handle, I reached out and stopped her hoof. "Blossom? Come on, tell me something before we go in there."
She looked up at me and gave me a little smile. It was pretty hard to tell in the evening gloom, but I could have sworn that she was blushing slightly as well. "Look," she said oddly quietly, "just let yourself have a good time for a change, okay? You need to loosen up a bit."
With no other explanation, she turned the handle and pushed the door open, not even bothering to knock. I shook my head and entered as well, knowing from long experience with her that no matter how uncomfortable or awkward I felt about something, I was still going to follow her into whatever she was doing. I can't explain it. It's like just being around her makes me into a different stallion. I end up doing things I would never do otherwise. When she wanted to water-balloon the entire dorm across from hers, I knew something was going to go wrong, but it just wasn't enough to make me quit. It always seemed like my conscience just had to sit down and be quiet whenever Blossom was around.
I offered a silent prayer to anything that cared to listen that tonight wouldn't be yet another of those circumstances. I wasn't putting my bits on it, though.
As we walked into the house's large common room, we were instantly met with a chorus of greetings.
"Hey, Blossom! What's up, girl?"
"Good to see ya! Who's the new guy?"
Blossomforth walked into the room slowly, uncharacteristically hesitant for her. "Hey guys. Everypony, this is Thunderlane. He's a buddy of mine from school."
I stepped up, nodding my acknowledgement of the introduction as the four ponies already in the room stepped up to introduce themselves.
"Uh huh, a friend. I'll bet so, if you brought him here..." the first mare teased Blossomforth cryptically. She walked up to me and stuck out an off-white hoof. "How's it going, Thunderlane? I'm Redheart." I bumped my own hoof against hers, nodding and trying to commit her name to memory.
No sooner had my hoof left hers than a yellow-furred stallion practically filled my vision. "Howdy, partner!" he called in a way that left my ears down against my head. I could barely make out the fact that he was dressed in a cowpony's hat and stylish vest as he shook my hoof with such vigor that it rattled parts of my brain together. "Name's Braeburn, and I'm mighty glad to meetcha! Came in all the way from Appleloosa to be here!"
The stallion was picked up in a blue haze and drifted aside, still grinning self-consciously. "Harmony, Brae, you're gonna scare the poor guy away before he even sits at the table," the owner of the magic said as he walked over. The large, white stallion stepped up and offered his hoof, tossing his well-trimmed blue mane to the side of his face. "I'm Shining Armor," he said in introduction, offering me a firm hoofbump, "First Lieutenant in the Canterlot Home Guard."
Cloudsdale, Canterlot, Appleloosa, I thought, my mind starting to spin slightly. Why is everypony here just for a game of cards? Much less—
My mind shut down as I noticed the last member of the group. The mare sauntered over, her unmistakable mane sticking out from her head at unruly angles that matched her confident swagger. She stuck out her hoof with a grin. "As if you didn't know," she smirked.
I stammered, my mouth hanging open. "I—you—DJ Pon-3?" I asked, incredulous.
"Dude, I'm off-stage. You can just call me 'Vinyl Scratch'," she insisted, bumping my hoof with hers.
The group began to drift back apart, some ponies already having claimed seats around the large, round card table in the center of the room. Blossomforth headed over towards a side table loaded up with snacks and drinks, made up in large part by what seemed to be bottles of liquor. At the other end, Braeburn and Shining were chatting, the latter using his hooves to apparently describe some sort of combat scenario. I looked around. The card table Redheart was seated at was clearly the focal point of the room, as the rest of the furniture seemed to have been pushed aside to make room for it. A sofa was still accessible, but most of the small room's other furnishings had been pushed against the walls. Maybe it was the presence of the alcohol, but something about this whole setup was starting to bug me, and I couldn't put my hoof on it.
I almost jumped when Vinyl nudged me in the side with an elbow, offering me a glass of something dark. "Hey, Thunderlane, right? What's up, colt? You nervous?"
"I—uh, nervous?" I said awkwardly, taking a slight sip, "why would I be nervous about playing cards?" I suppose it was liquor I was drinking. I'd only tried drinking once before, so I wasn't exactly an expert, but it certainly burned in a familiar way as it went down.
Vinyl's muzzle lowered so she could stare at me over the top of her large, iconic shades in disbelief. "Blossom seriously didn't tell you what this is about?"
That lingering sense of dread was growing. "Um... no?"
Vinyl facehoofed. "Nightmare Moon take that mare..." she muttered, turning to look for Blossomforth. "Hey, Blossom," she yelled, "you didn't tell him? What the hoof?"
For the first time I'd ever seen, Blossomforth turned several shades of red and looked down, muttering under her breath. I took another drink, coughing lightly as I almost choked on the mouthful. "I—she blushed," I said flatly as I recovered from my surprise.
"Yeah, she does that," Vinyl replied.
"No. No, she really doesn't. Like, ever."
"Yeah, well... Look, come here," the world-famous DJ said, putting a hoof around my shoulders and guiding me towards a corner where we could at least have the illusion of privacy.
I could feel that something big was coming. I looked down at the cup in my hoof and took another sip, not really sure of what else to do.
"Look, here's the thing, Thunderlane," Vinyl began. "Blossom really should have told you about this little meeting we have ahead of time, because this is just awkward as all get out. What did she tell you?”
I shook my head, belatedly noticing the way that it almost felt like my sense of the motion was lagging slightly behind the actual action. "She didn't tell me anything. All she said was 'hey, let's go play some cards' and away we went. I didn't even know we were going to Ponyville until we were here."
The DJ cringed. "She does this sort of thing to you regularly, then, I guess?"
I nodded. "You could say that."
"It's a wonder you still hang around her," Vinyl chuckled. "Okay, here's the deal: we've been getting together as a group for about a year now to play poker. The group changes almost every time based on who can show up, but Blossomforth has been coming pretty regularly for a few months now."
"I had wondered where she kept disappearing to on the weekends," I mused.
Vinyl nodded. "It's not what you'd call normal poker, though."
I frowned. "What, like, high stakes? Cause Blossomforth only told me to bring twenty bits..."
"Yeah, kind of like that. Twenty bits are just what you need to play. The stakes are something else entirely."
"Such as?"
"Well..." she said, scratching her foreleg with a hoof as she shifted uncomfortably. "You are the stakes."
I stared at Vinyl's shades for a moment, my mental gears grinding and coming up empty. "I don't understand."
"Maybe I should just go over the rules," she decided, pushing her shades up onto her head with her magic. "We're playing low-limit hold 'em. The thing that's different is that everypony starts with just twenty bits, but you also have three green tokens. We call them 'forfeit tokens'. If you want to re-raise, or if you want to bet at a pot that you don't have the bits to cover, you bet with a token. If you lose, the pony who took it off of you gets to name your forfeit, and you gotta do it."
I nodded, only half-aware of my actions. I was far too busy trying to process this information. "Forfeit? Like what?"
"Well, the first one is something small, normally intended to loosen things up. Like a drinking challenge or something."
I kept nodding. "Okay, I'm with you so far."
"After that, well, it depends on what the winner wants. But usually, yeah..." Vinyl blushed slightly. "It's generally sex."
I stopped nodding, freezing in place. My eyes snapped over to Vinyl. "You did just say 'sex', right?"
"Yup. So, knowing that, are you still in?" Her face was almost hopeful as she watched for my response. "If it helps, we're all really nice, and we won't make you do anything you really don't want to."
I stared at my half-full cup. "So..." I said slowly, "when you said that you'd seen Blossomforth blush before, you meant..."
"Yup."
I'm not sure, but I think I might have heard something snap in my head. "I—I don't—she—"
Vinyl grinned. "She makes the cutest little noises when she gets off."
I had to sit down on the carpet. My mind was completely lacking the ability to make sense of it all, and I needed a moment. It was a long moment, if the apprehensive way Vinyl was watching me was any indication.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why?"
"Why are you all here?" I turned to look at her, meeting her bright purple eyes with my own.
"Everypony's got their own reasons," she replied, nodding back towards the group. "Take Redheart, for instance. She's in med school, hoping to be a nurse. Her class and pre-residency schedules pretty much leave her a smoking wreck by the end of the week, so she's just looking to blow off as much steam as possible in the shortest amount of time." She indicated the two other stallions in the room, talking together near the snack table. "Braeburn there lives in Appleloosa. He doesn't get the chance to get away very often, but when he does, he comes here. He won't say it, but I think the fact that he likes stallions doesn't go over too well where he's at. I guess this is his chance to live his fantasy, you know? Shining Armor, on the other hoof, he's almost complicated by our standards." I stared at the soldierly pony as Vinyl spoke. "He's apparently going to be engaged. I dunno when. We keep telling him to just be a stallion and put a ring on her hoof already, whoever she is. Anyway, he's stressed out from working his job at the palace, and without his special somepony around, well..."
Vinyl hesitated, her muzzle screwed up in concentration. "I'm trying to think of a good way to put this. When he gets too pent up, he goes a little... crazy. There was an incident once, he got together with a mare in the Guard who didn't know he was seeing somepony. She had to call off several shifts because she couldn't walk for a few days afterwards, and his commander absolutely lit him up over it."
I winced, not really able to imagine what sort of sex could cause a mare to not be able to walk for days at a time.
"Yeah, no kidding," Vinyl agreed, reading my flinch. "Anyway, he and his mare apparently have an agreement. She lets him come here because we're safe, and discreet, and he won't blow his top anymore until they're able to be together on a more permanent basis."
"That doesn't strike anypony else as a bit weird?" I asked.
Vinyl shrugged. "We're not really in the business of asking questions, you know?"
"And you?"
"What can I say? I like this kind of party. Also, the press doesn't follow me out this far, so this won't ever end up in the magazines." She turned back to me. "Look, we're not trying to pretend we're something we're not. What this is is a group of friends who like to party, like sex, and just want to have a good time for a while with no strings and no attachments. Is that something you think you can deal with?"
I stared back at my drink. "I—I don't know. I've only been with a mare once before. This... This is a lot."
The DJ nodded. "Yeah, I get that. If it helps at all, I was nervous like you wouldn't believe my first time here."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, my reputation notwithstanding," she said with a grin. "If you have any fantasies, we can help with that. If you like something you don't normally feel like you can ask a mate for, we can probably do that, too. There's no pressure and no obligation. Like I said, we're all just here to have some fun."
I wasn't really sure what to do. This whole idea was so far outside of my comfort zone that I could barely even comprehend what Vinyl was talking about. Before I even knew that I'd made a decision, I tossed back a large swig of booze and coughed a few times, feeling the warmth of the liquid melting some of my reticence.
"Let's play some cards," I said.
I dropped into my chair at the table, setting down my drink and glancing over my stack of bits in front of me. Directly across the table from me, Vinyl grinned widely, obviously getting into the spirit of the game. Blossomforth was on my left, and Shining Armor at my right. On the other side of Shining, Redheart shuffled the deck easily between her hooves, obviously well-accustomed to cards.
"All right," Redheart said loudly, commanding everypony's attention. "I know we generally know how this is done, but we have a new player tonight, so I'll cover the rules before we start."
I nodded thankfully, paying close attention.
"Standard poker hoof orders. Only the top number counts, so as long as the top card or pair is the same, the hoof is a draw. Everypony antes one bit per hoof, no blinds. Max bet is two bits. To raise, you have to call the bet and throw in a token. A token must be called with another token. Winner takes the token or tokens, or shares it if it's a draw against a third player." The dirty-white mare turned to glance at me. "Any questions?"
I shook my head, running my hoof over my bits, split into two stacks of ten. "I think I get the gist."
"Right, then. High card for dealer."
Redheart began casually peeling cards off the top of the deck, sliding them almost thoughtlessly across the felt to stop directly in front of every player in turn. Everypony grabbed theirs and flipped it over. I showed my card, knowing instinctively that Redheart was a pony to watch closely. If there was such a thing as a shark at this table, it had to be her.
I glanced over the circle around me in sequence. Queen, ten, four, seven, Princess, and... my eight. I shrugged, passing my card over to Blossomforth along with the rest of the deck. She gathered everything back up and shuffled quickly a few times, sweeping her grinning face around the table at all the others, finally stopping on me. Her right eye narrowed challengingly.
I took another large swig of my drink to cover my nervousness.
"Alright, mares and stallions," she said coolly.
"Ante up."
Author's Note
What the actual hell is a Jack, anyway? The Knave or Jack was a servant, not royalty. Why is he in the deck? Princess is just a better name, even if it does take two syllables to say.
Author's Playlist:
BT - These Hopeful Machines
Marcus Shultz - Global DJ Broadcast
I tossed one of my score of bits into the center of the table, where it clinked gently against the other five. I took a deep breath, trying to settle myself down. Blossomforth flicked cards across the table with a practiced hoof, the cards gliding across the felt to rest against each pony's hoof or bits. As the cards were dealt, a familiar silence fell over the table and the room. I knew this feeling from the times I'd played at school; it was the one that said "we're all friends here, but not for the duration of this next hoof."
For what it was worth, I knew the game well. Hold 'em was a classic game of chance and—according to who you ask—psychology. Everypony around the table got two "pocket" cards, only for their use. You got a round to either bet, check, or fold. After the betting, the dealer would flip over three cards, known as the "flop". Betting took place between each round, and the dealer would flip over two more cards—known as the "turn" and the "river", respectively— one at a time. Every pony had to make the best possible hoof of five from the five community cards and the two in their own hoof. Because so much of the game was played out in the open where every other player knew at least three of the cards in your hoof, it was much harder to hide your strengths and weaknesses from the other players, and so it was often regarded as the highest caliber of card games and the greatest test of skill.
Knowing the other players was everything in this game. With that in mind, I glanced around the table idly, hoping to catch something from the other players before I glanced at my own cards. Redheart and Shining both leaned over to see their own cards without picking them up, while the rest raised their cards to their eyes. I saw a few ear flicks, but nothing definite.
I bent the corners of my cards up, showing myself the suits and numbers without really lifting them up. A pocket pair of threes was a good start, but nothing to push with.
Braeburn threw in two bits, and everypony except Redheart followed suit. I dropped my two bits into the pot, weirdly conscious of how few bits I actually had to play with. I realized that was probably the point. Slow player couldn't afford to sit and wait forever, because they could only wait for a maximum of twenty hooves. You had to play or die off.
Blossomforth burned the top card and threw down the three-card flop. I peered neutrally at the face-up cards: a four, seven, and a queen. I resisted the urge to snort in irritation. Pairing anything on the board would beat me easily. Across the table, Vinyl didn't resist the same urge, letting out a massive, irritated groan.
Braeburn chuckled. "I'll check to poker face, over there."
Vinyl didn't even bother to see the turn, simply throwing in her cards. "Blossom, we're going to have a talk about your dealing one of these days. You're screwing me here."
"I thought you were into that?" Shining laughed, dropping in a bit. "I'm in for one."
Redheart bit her lower lip just slightly, and I could almost see the wheels in her head turning, adding up the angles. "Nah, I'll save it," she said, dropping her cards and pushing them away.
I tossed my own into the center as well, and Blossomforth dropped a bit onto the stack without comment.
Another card off the top, and the turn came up as a seven. I tried to remember how this system worked, because the top pair was still out there, not on the table. All three players checked around to the pair on the table, and the river came out as a king.
Braeburn grinned large, but still checked, which was just confusing. Shining Armor dropped in a bit to start things off, and the other two called his bet.
"Well, ponies," Braeburn said, his drawl lengthening the syllables, "see if you can beat this." He dropped his cards down, showing only a five in his hoof to pair the board.
"Yeah, that's not too hard," Shining Armor responded, showing that he came up with two pair, kings over sevens.
Blossomforth snorted. "I knew I should have pushed the turn," she said, tossing her cards facedown into the center, folding.
Shining Armor reached out to collect his winnings as the cards were gathered and passed over towards Braeburn, and I was suddenly struck by just how normal this all seemed. I could almost feel the muscles in my shoulders loosening up. This was familiar territory; a close-knit gaming group who enjoyed hanging out together. It was still a bit weird being the new colt in the room, but I could deal with it. I took another drink from my glass, as long a drink as I could handle. I could feel the warmth spreading outward from my core, and I just felt like grinning.
Across from me, Vinyl inclined her head towards me, he eyes well-obscured behind those ever-present shades of hers. "Having fun yet, Thunderlane?"
"I think I'm getting there," I replied, my grin growing a bit reckless as I laid my ante down in the center of the table.
For about the next hour or so, the night progressed completely normally. Shining's cautious play was very slowly earning him a modest stack, and Vinyl won and lost more hooves from trying to bully the pot than I'd ever seen. Her stack of bits grew and shrank as regularly as the tides.
Overall, the rest of the group played fairly conservatively, the play not really allowing any one pony to open up a significant lead. I picked up a few good hooves here and there, but my stack was slowly dwindling, and I was starting to look desperately for my opening. I needed a score if I wanted to stay in the game for long, and I needed it soon.
With Vinyl dealing the cards, it seemed like my chance had finally come. I flipped up the edges of my pocket cards to reveal a pair: princesses. I had to make a dedicated effort to stop myself from doing flips. I glanced around the table suspiciously. I had it made, a high pocket pair. Only a pair of queens, kings, or aces was topping me at the moment, and I didn't see any giveaways from anypony else at the table. I bought the flop, and it was all low-digit garbage. I started the betting, dropping in two bits. A few eyebrows raised around the table, but I tried to play it cool. "What?" I asked. "If none of you want it, I might as well take it."
Blossomforth and Braeburn folded quickly. Vinyl tossed her cards after some thought. Shining, however, stared bullets through me. "Call..." he said slowly, pushing in two bits, and reaching back towards his stack. "...and raise."
The green chip hit the pot, and everypony metaphorically scattered. I knew my hoof was well and truly in it now. If I backed down, I might as well be done for the evening. But if not...
"Call."
I dropped in a token of my own. Shining looked a bit surprised. I suppose he wasn't expecting the new guy to be the first pony of the night willing to lose a token.
Without saying anything, we both flipped our cards. I showed a pocket pair of princesses, he showed pocket ace/king. I swallowed hard, crossing my outside pinions in hope that the next two community cards wouldn't help him.
Vinyl flipped over the turn. It was a queen. I crossed my feathers tighter. Unless the river was a king or an ace, the hoof was mine. I looked at Shining Armor. His scowl was challenging, and not in the least scared. I'm sure my face wasn't nearly as inscrutable as his was. Heck, I could practically feel myself sweating, and this was still early in the night!
Vinyl burned the top card, holding the river up in front of her face. She grinned widely, not showing anypony else the card's identity.
"Oh for Celestia's sake, Vinyl..." Blossomforth moaned.
Vinyl scoffed. "Hey, presentation counts," she grumbled, slapping the river down on the felt.
It was a ten.
I jumped to my hooves, pumping a foreleg in victory as Shining smacked a hoof against his thigh in frustration. "Yes! I'm still in the game!" I yelled, caught up in the moment. Everypony laughed, even Shining, and I felt my face grow really warm. "Heh... Sorry. Got kind of into it."
I pulled in my stash quickly busying myself in stacking up my earnings.
"So, what's it gonna be?"
I turned to look at Braeburn. "Huh?"
The cowpony nodded leisurely at Shining. "You took his chip, so you call the dance. Name his forfeit, partner."
"Oh yeah..." I said slowly, suddenly remembering what made this night so different from normal poker after all. "I, uh..."
Blossomforth nudged me. "Just think of something silly," she prompted me. "He's a military pony. Make him do something weird."
"See how long he can stand at attention?" Vinyl suggested.
"He does that for his job," Redheart reminded her, rolling her eyes. "The only thing he doesn't know how to do is relax, or let down that macho exterior for ten minutes."
"Make him admit that the guard sucks!" Vinyl yelled, ducking a swipe from Shining's hoof.
"I'll admit that ingrates like you suck!" he countered, growling slightly.
I cocked my head to the side as a thought struck me. So, Shining Armor likes his image... I leaned over to Blossomforth and whispered in her ear.
"Oh Goddess, yes," she said. "It's perfect."
I blushed as everypony stared at me, waiting to see what idea I had that was so perfect. I found a scrap of paper and a quill, scribbled down a few sentences, encouraged by giggles and the odd "more" from Blossomforth. I slid it across the table to Shining Armor. He snatched up the paper and started reading with a grimace.
His eyes got wide. "Are you kidding me?"
I shook my head.
"The whole thing?" he asked.
I nodded.
Shining Armor scowled and climbed onto his seat, standing a full body-height above the rest of us. He barely muttered as he started speaking. "I would just—"
"Louder, filly!" Blossomforth catcalled.
The lieutenant snorted in irritation, throwing his head back like he was on the parade line. "I would just like to let everypony know," he said, speaking very slowly and loudly as everypony leaned in, "that I suck."
"And..." I prompted him, trying to hide a smirk behind my hoof.
He sighed. "And that I'm a filly..."
"What else?"
"And that I like ribbons in my mane..." he huffed softly. "And I want to kiss all the colts."
Blossomforth looked over at me. "This may be the best forfeit of all time."
Shining Armor climbed back down from his chair, settling heavily into it and taking a long drink from his glass of spirits.
"Boo!" Vinyl mock-yelled. "I didn't get my bits worth! Shake it next time!"
This time Shining's hoof found it's mark, bapping the DJ in the horn. Vinyl yelped and rubbed her forehead, her huge grin never faltering.
"Can we please get back to play now?" Shining said, sinking slightly in his seat.
"Mah cousin can probably get you some bows for your mane, if you want," Braeburn chuckled.
Shining groaned, shuffling the cards distractedly. "Just for that, I'm dealing you a bitch hoof."
I smiled, a bit proud of winning the first important hoof of the evening. "So, what do I do with this now?" I asked, holding up Shining's former forfeit token.
"Meh, just set it aside," Redheart answered. "It doesn't play anymore. It's good for bragging about, but other than that..."
Blossomforth chuckled. "Fair warning, too, Thunderlane," she said, "once the first one goes down, the game usually picks up pretty quickly."
I nodded, trying to settle myself back into the groove. The insurance provided by my new bits gave me breathing space, so I was able to lay back and let the game develop. It turned out that Shining did end up dealing Braeburn the worst possible hoof, but Brae ended up betting at the pot anyway. When he got called out, Braeburn simply flipped the cards, not even caring to fold without showing what he had. I frowned. That pony was impossible to read. His grin never wavered, and anything he bet at was emphatic, no matter how good or bad his hoof was. That cowpony would try to bluff at a thunderstorm and wouldn't flinch.
A few hooves later, I started to wonder if Blossomforth was right or not, but by the time the deal came back around to me, things started happening. I dealt myself absolute garbage, but everypony else went to the flop.
Blossomforth rapped a hoof against the table to signal her check, and Braeburn copied her. The pair of sixes and queen kicker on the board had them on edge, I suppose. Vinyl looked at the flop, took another glance at her cards, and tossed in two bits. "I'm in," she said.
Shining hesitated. For the first time that night, I felt like I caught something from him. He hadn't bet at practically anything aside from our heads-up showdown, and anytime he reached for bits, he did so without missing a beat. This time, though, I saw him falter. Somehow, I knew he didn't have it.
His bits went in, though. Redheart ignored Shining completely, and only glanced at Vinyl. She fixated right on Blossomforth, watching her closely as she reached to her stack.
"Call," she said slowly, her eyes narrow, "and raise." The green token almost thudded to the felt to rest against the small pile of bits.
Blossomforth didn't even hesitate. "Call!" she said, tossing in the bits and token quickly and leaning back in a self-satisfied manner. Redheart rolled her eyes and swore under her breath.
Brae folded immediately, and we all turned to watch Vinyl as she pondered. "Looks like this hoof's for the fillies," she said, tossing her token in to call.
Shining dropped out, and I gathered up the discards and prepared to turn over the next two community cards.
The turn came up with an ace. All three mares decided to check. Apparently the unspoken rule was once a token goes down, betting stops, unless somepony had to bet a token because they were out of bits. I dropped the river; a princess.
Blossomforth gave the other two mares a positively predatory grin. "I made mine," she said, tossing down a six and a princess. "Full house, sixes over princesses."
Vinyl groaned, sweeping off her glasses and dropping her head to the felt as she folded. Redheart sighed, tossing her cards in as well. "Pocket kings are always too tempting..." she lamented.
Blossom let out a whoop, fluttering right out of her chair for a moment. "All right, you two," she said as she raked in her pot, "since I've got the pair of you, I think it's time for a showdown." With a flap, she jumped over the table and everypony seated at it to land at the snack table. She scooped up a bottle and two shot glasses and walked awkwardly back to the game. "Each of you do two shots in a row," she instructed. "After that, you both have to do a hoofstand. First one to fall has to do another shot."
Vinyl grinned and reached for the bottle as Redheart simply grimaced and shrugged. Both mares took turns downing a pair of shots of the hardest liquor on the table, with all the associated grunting and coughing it entailed. The pair walked unsteadily over to the large open area in the middle of the room.
I leaned over towards Braeburn. "So, this is why the furniture is all pushed aside?"
He nodded. "Yah never know with these challenges. We've had some preeeeety crazy stuff happen before."
Watching the unicorn and earth pony try to do a hoofstand was a lot funnier than it had much of a right to be. The two took several tries at it, failing miserably every time. Eventually Blossomforth had to have Shining and Braeburn go over and help out, holding the mares' hind legs up until they could get some semblance of fair balance.
"Alright," Blossomforth prompted. "Go!"
Both stallions let go and stepped back quickly, knowing hooves would likely come down in every direction. To their credit, both mares lasted a few seconds, which was a few seconds more than I would have bet on, myself. Vinyl just didn't have it, probably because she was distracted by her glasses trying to slide off her muzzle to the floor. She toppled sideways, crashing into Redheart and sending her to ground against the couch. The two got up groaning slightly and wobbled back to their seats through the haze of alcohol and blood rushing out of their heads.
Vinyl took her third shot without protest, shaking her head unsteadily as the rest of us gave a round of applause for the entertainment.
"I have to admit," I said with a laugh, "this is definitely more interesting than my normal poker games."
"Oh," Braeburn answered, leaning in a giving me a grin that sent a shiver down my spine, "you ain't seen nothin' yet."
"Yeah, we still gotta get you to loosen up," Redheart said. I might have been mistaken, but her voice seemed a bit coy to me. It could have been the alcohol talking, but it still made my cheeks warm.
Just two hooves later, I knew I was in trouble.
Without even waiting for a bet, Blossomforth had tossed in her first token, daring anypony to take the pot away from her. Everypony else had folded, leaving the call up to me. I checked under my hoof again. The same two cards stared back at me: a princess and an ace, both of spades. I had an inside straight draw and the highest possible flush as options, and that's not counting the option of pairing the board with high cards. I was all but certain that Blossom was hiding a pocket pair, but how good could it be?
I took another long drink of whiskey, hoping it would help me make up my mind. It seemed to help. I dropped my token into the pot, not even caring that we were going heads-up over six bits. The money itself was irrelevant.
Blossom gave me that same unnerving grin. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," she teased, laying down her cards.
I was wrong. Instead of a pocket pair, she had a king and a queen, both of hearts. I laid down my cards against hers. Everypony leaned in slightly.
"Well, he's got a two-to-one advantage," Redheart said.
Blossom didn't seem intimidated, though. "Everything changes on the flop," she replied.
Braeburn nodded, dropping the community cards and fanning them out.
Ace of hearts, four of hearts, seven of diamonds.
My heart caught in my throat. The odds hadn't changed at all, technically, but Blossom was only one card away from a flush, and still had the option of a straight to beat my pair of aces. I was anything but home free.
Braeburn flipped over the nine of clubs. Garbage, and we both knew it. Blossom frowned slightly, though she had nine cards she could catch for the win.
"Four to one now," Redheart said quietly.
Braeburn flipped the river.
Six of hearts.
I hung my head as Blossom raked in my forfeit token. Suddenly, all that nervousness came rushing back to me. I wasn't just an observer anymore, I was going to be a part of this madness. I mentally tried to prepare myself for what I expected was coming.
"Go easy on me, Blossom," I said. "I'm not much of a drinker."
"Oh, I know that," she replied breezily. "It isn't alcohol that I think you need to work on."
"I, uh... huh?"
She grinned at me. "Oh, you found out Shining pretty quickly. That was impressive. But I know what you can't loosen up about. And you're going to."
Why hadn't I run out the door when Vinyl first explained to me what this group was about, anyway?
"On the table, stallion. On your back."
I swallowed hard, looking ruefully at my now-empty glass of spirits. Suddenly a bracer was looking very good to me. With nothing else for it, I complied, pushing my stack to the side and making a clear space where I could lay on the table, staring stone-faced at the ceiling.
"I wanna know that you're down with the group," Blossom said in what I would definitely consider a teasing tone. I knew that tone. It was the same tone that she used right before I got involved in one of her crazy schemes. It was the same tone that got me to plant stinkbombs in the drainage pipes right under the campus lawn where graduation ceremonies would be held the next morning.
Basically, it was the tone she used to push me over the line.
"Shining, watch the clock," she instructed. "Thunderlane here has sixty seconds, and since he's the new stallion in the room, we want to see his goods."
My head came off the table as I leaned up to stare at her. "Say what now?"
"Start strokin', colt."
"You can not be serious."
"Oh, I am," she replied. "After that first token, things heat up, Thunder. Are you in or not?"
My head thudded back down against the felt. Once again, I just knew that the inexorable will of Blossomforth was gonna end up pulling me wherever it wanted to, with or without my consent. I sighed and closed my eyes, reaching gingerly down with a hoof.
I rolled my hoof gently around my sheath, wondering if I'd even be able to get it up in the first place. I grimaced, trying to coax myself to arousal. Blossomforth's voice came; quiet, right next to my ear.
"Doesn't it excite you, Thunder?" she almost whispered to me. "How everypony can see you?"
I wasn't sure if it did or not, but I still felt my sheath swell to her words, as breathy and close as they were.
"Everypony wants to see you. I want to see you."
That started it. I grunted quietly, feeling myself growing warm. I stroked lightly, pulling at my sheath.
"Come on, colt," she purred, right up against my ear, "show everypony what you've got."
I felt cool air on my flesh as my cock twitched to life, freeing itself from my sheath. I ran my hoof along the side of the still mostly-flaccid member.
I heard a few grunts and intakes of breath. I even heard an "oooh" that I'm pretty sure came from Vinyl. Somehow, against all of my instincts, knowing that all these ponies were watching me was having an effect, and I quickly approached my full length.
"Thirty seconds," Shining said quietly.
I clopped myself slowly, still unable to open my eyes.
"Just think," Blossomforth whispered, "I'd bet anything that you'll have this wonderful cock of yours buried in somepony else before this night's done."
I let out a whimper, my hoof speeding up involuntarily.
"Probably more than once." I could feel her breath on my ear, and knowing that nopony else could hear her was making me more crazy than it had a right to. "Maybe even me."
I had to fight off every urge in my body to thrust my hips against my hoof. My pride was already harder than it had been in months, slapping against my barrel as I stroked the full length.
"Time!"
My eyes snapped open as I remembered that I was lying on top of a card table, surrounded by ponies that I'd never met before tonight. I quickly rolled myself off of the table and crawled back into my seat, trying futilely to suppress my raging stiffy, or at least to hide it under the table.
I glanced around. Blossomforth was giving me a round of applause, which did nothing to alleviate my embarrassment. Braeburn actually tipped his glass to me with a wide, approving smile. I wasn't sure if that was better or worse than the hungry look that Vinyl was giving me, though. Shining and Redheart remained fairly neutral, but Redheart was definitely still looking at me, and she was definitely paying special attention to a certain part of me that still refused to go away.
I don't think I've ever blushed so hard in my life. Even with my almost black fur, I can't imagine that nopony else noticed.
"Right, so whose deal is it?" Blossomforth chirped, breaking the moment.
"That would be me," Vinyl replied, holding up a hoof and accepting the deck from Braeburn.
The next few hooves proceeded without anything weird happening, but the earlier feeling of normalcy was tinged now with expectation. I now actually understood what was going on here, and not just intellectually. I looked at my two remaining tokens with a new appreciation for just how much they meant. I wondered if the rest of the group thought about it like that. It didn't seem so. Nopony else seemed nervous. In fact, with the regularity that Vinyl took shots at the pot, I'd almost assumed that she was trying to make something happen.
I wasn't about to take her up on that, not with the cards I was catching, but it wasn't long before somepony else did.
I spotted the crack in her armor just as the flop came down. Vinyl was a riddle. From what I could see, everything about her was a tell, she just covered the real tells with fake ones. Figuring out what to watch was a chore, and I could have spent the entire night just trying to find a pattern to her behavior.
In this case, though, her smile seemed just a bit too wide, slightly too manic. I thought she was forcing it, but the pair of fours in my hoof wasn't about to compete with what was on the table, so I had to toss my cards in.
Blossom had no such problem, however. The mare was on a roll, and she wasn't about to let her momentum go to waste. She matched Vinyl's bet casually, leaving just the two mares in the hoof.
The turn came out, making three clubs on the table and a random queen kicker. Vinyl looked at her much-decreased stack of bits, and checked. She didn't seem too happy to have to do so, either. Blossomforth gave her a level stare.
"You know if I bet here, you're in trouble, right? How long do you want to stay in this game?"
"Doesn't cost you anything to see 'em," Vinyl retorted.
"True, but I think it should cost you something either way." Blossom tossed in a token for the third time that night.
"Again? Really?" Vinyl lamented.
"That chip’s been lucky for me," Blossom said with a grin.
Vinyl only wrestled with herself for a few seconds over the call. "Ah, what the hoof," she said, dropping in one of her two remaining tokens.
"I've got the flush," Blossom said, laying her cards down. "Did you catch anything?"
"Not yet," Vinyl said, grimacing as she laid down two pair.
"What are the odds on this one, Redheart?" Braeburn asked.
"Not great."
The river was a waste for both, and Vinyl knocked her head against the table rail several times, dropping her glasses to the tabletop. "Stupid pegasus. How lucky can you get?"
Blossomforth didn't respond, instead choosing to simply rake in the loose pile of chips and bits. Without bothering to sort through it, she scooted her chair back from the table and hooked a hoof at Vinyl. "Come here, you."
Vinyl sagged slightly, giving an amused sigh. "You and your freaking oral fetish..."
"Damn right," Blossom retorted. "Get to work, loser."
Vinyl shook her head, laughing slightly as she sank to her haunches between Blossomforth's hind legs.
I shifted uneasily in my seat. Just a step away from me, Vinyl Scratch was diving muzzle-first into my best friend's mound without any sign of hesitation. Part of me itched to get away, to look somewhere else. I'd never really even thought of Blossomforth in that way before, and here I was staring, watching her share an utterly intimate moment with somepony else.
On the other hoof, what I was watching was freaking hot. I had to admit that Blossom was a fine-looking mare, and the aroused blush on her face as her head pitched back in passion was a good look for her. I felt my stallionhood making another appearance, and as I glanced around, I could tell I wasn't the only one who was appreciating the view.
Vinyl was obviously no stranger to the task. Her tongue worked quickly and skillfully, leaving Blossomforth as a writhing, panting mess in under a minute. It wasn't easy to see many details, but the way her muzzle pressed against Blossom's slit as her eyes looked up to watch the pegasus mare's face was cute, and adorable, and hotter than the sun all at once.
I had to sit on my hooves to keep myself from clopping. I knew this wasn't for me, and I had the feeling that I might need more stamina to make it through the night. For the first time in my life, I had a recognizable pang of jealousy towards the females of my species. I was sure that the mares would make good use of their ability to get off more times than the males could.
The unicorn clearly had plenty of experience at pleasing Blossomforth, as she was already hunched forward, locking her legs around the DJ's neck, pulling her hard against her dripping sex. The noises of Vinyl's tongue seemed to fill the room—or at least the parts of it that weren't filled with the sounds of Blossom's panting and moaning.
I've never wanted to join in with something Blossomforth was doing more, but I had to resist. I had to wait my turn.
Barely moments later, Blossom squealed, her head pitching back and forth as she hugged Vinyl's head with all four hooves. The unicorn closed her eyes, murring happily, still as deep in Blossom's mound as she could get as the other mare rode out her orgasm and began to settle down. Vinyl broke the kiss with Blossomforth's lower lips, gasping as Blossom ran her tongue up the length of Vinyl's horn in a tender, thankful gesture.
Vinyl climbed back to her hooves, a bit unsteady as she swiped a hoof across her muzzle, trying to clean off the excess moisture left there. Blossomforth simply slumped in her chair, catching her breath.
"So," Braeburn said brightly, "snack break?"
Author's Note
Poker Terminology:
Ante - Money paid at the beginning of a hand in order to be dealt cards.
Bitch hand - What my old poker group referred to a seven and a two of unmatching suits as. It's literally the most useless hand in poker. Fold immediately.
Burn - A burn card is a card discarded face down at the beginning of a round, before any cards are revealed. The main reason for this is to guard against marked cards. If the cards are marked, a player who can read the backs will know what the top card on the deck is. In a flop-game like Hold'em, knowledge of the next board card is extremely profitable, while what it will not be is slightly useful, but much less so.
Check - Passing on the option of betting to see if anyone else will bet. Essentially, it's a bet of zero. Often used as an option when you expect a much stronger hand to be present and don't want to risk chips when you expect to fold later. Can also be used to draw in players if you know you have the stronger hand.
Pot - The betting pool, where all the chips in play are.
Author's Playlist:
Caravan Palace - Caravan Palace
Mystery Skulls - "Money"
Motorhead - "Ace of Spades" (I had to, right?)
