Tales of a brony and a non-brony

I awoke with a sharp pain on my chest.

The only thing I remember is that I got attacked by a wild animal and that it got a good hit on me.

I felt something heavy on my lap, I looked down and I saw Dave resting his head on my lap, he was literally inches away from my schlong, so yeah it was an awkward position.

'What the fuck man?' I thought.

"Pssst Dave wake up." No response.

"Dave wake the fuck up." Stills no response.

*sigh* "DAVE IF DON'T GET YOUR HEAD OFF MY LAP I WILL SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE TASTING SHIT FOR WEEKS!" I shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH FUCK MY EARS!" Dave screamed.

Dave jumped back in response but he accidentally bumped his head on my lower jaw.

"AHH FUCK!" I shouted.

"Huh what the.....RAMSES YOU'RE OK! " Dave exclaimed happily.

He hugged me, I only hissed in response.

"Aaah dude let me go, ah my fucking chest it feels like I've been hit by Mike Tyson.........Twice." I said.

"You did never beat that game." Dave replied while breaking the hug.

"I almost did until I had to face-off against Tyson." I replied.

"Yep and then your controller started dating the TV." Dave replied.

"You can say that again." I replied.

"Yep and then your controller started dating the TV." Dave replied with a grin.

"Haha very funny, but seriously what happened to me?" I asked genuinely confused.

"Well you were going all Rambo on that Manticore but it didn't turn out so well and the result is on your chest." Dave explained.

Well it wasn't much of an explanation but I've been with Dave for so long, heh even when he's talking shit I still know what he's talking about.

"So I fucked up? " I asked.

"Let's just say my distraction prevented the Manticore to do his fatality on you." Dave replied.

"With distraction do you mean the girly screams you made? " I asked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Dave replied assuming I didn't hear his cries for help.

"HELP ME RAMSES IT'S GONNA EAT MEEEEE! " I said in a high pitched voice.

"Well at least I didn't get my ass kicked by a fucking Manticore......Wait do Manticores even live in Brattleboro? I thought they were myths or something. " Dave said.

"Well you're the expert on these kind of things, so please explain. " I said.

"Well dude I'm not an expert, its true I know one or two things about Earth's myths but I only knew this was a Manticore because it looked the same as the ones that appeared in My Little Pony. " Dave replied.

"Why is it that almost every conversation we have ends up with you talking about that fucking little girl show. " I replied.

"Hey it's not a little girls show! Many adult men and woman watch the show! " Dave replied.

"And you're an adult men I presume? " I asked.

"Well of course I am. " Dave replied.

"Oh that's strange because the last time I checked you were screaming like a girl, are you sure you don't have a vagina? " I asked.

"Do you wanna keep your nuts or shall I feed them to the squirrels? " Dave asked.

"Wow wow easy there Brenda is it that time of the month already? " I asked mockingly.

"Why you little fucking......Wait before I start kicking the shit out of you I just want to know something. " Dave said.

"What do you want to know Daisy? " I asked.

"How are you feeling man? " Dave asked genuinely concerned about me.

"Well my chest hurts like hell and my back is ok I guess, but how are you? " I asked.

"I'm fine, just a little shocked about the whole myth attacking my best friend and almost killing him thing. " Dave replied.

"Well he was gonna hurt you and I vowed to never let anyone hurt you ever again. " I replied.

Dave and I looked in each other’s eyes, this was a real brotherly moment......Until Dave had to spoil it.

"If you keep looking at me like that you'll lose consciousness again, because of my beauty you know." Dave said.

"Way to ruin a brotherly moment. " I replied.

"Hey my mom always taught me to tell the truth. " Dave replied.

"I don't think she wanted you to brag about how beautiful you look. " I replied.

"You jelly? " Dave asked.

"Jealous of what? " I asked sarcastically.

"Lul. " (Dick.)

"Klootzak. " (Asshole.)

"Can you walk? " Dave asked.

"Yeah I think I can. " I replied.

I tried to get up only to fall back against the tree.

"*Oompf* Heheh ehm I think I might need some help. " I said awkwardly.

"Here let me help you up. " Dave said while putting his arm around my waste and my arm around his back.

"Wait what about our stuff? " I asked.

"Let's leave it. " Dave suggested.

"No that's too dangerous, what if the wrong person finds it, then what? " I asked.

"Aaaaaah fine! " Dave replied annoyed at my stubbornness.

"Alright I'll carry the guns, you'll carry the laptops and half of the ammunition, your back can take that right? " Dave asked.

"Yeah I think so, but if I get tired we'll just stop and rest for a few minutes ok? " I suggested.

"Yeah sure. " Dave replied.

After a whole lot of Dutch swearing and painful moments (for me at least) while trying to get everything in our backpacks we started to look for the nearest road, or at least some kind of civilization.

Dave carried all of the heavy weapons as well as half of the ammunition, luckily for him when we lived in the Netherlands I always encouraged him to join me at the gym, Dave accepted my offer and we had been visiting the gym almost every day, that's why we had no trouble carrying all of this, I was stronger than Dave but Dave was not weak, he could stand his ground whenever he got into a fight.......Well that was after elementary school.

"Hey dude have you noticed this place looks kind of off? " I asked.

"Yeah it almost seems a little......Cartoonish. " Dave replied also confused with all of the bright

colors.

After twenty minutes of walking we decided to take a break.

"Hey man stay here, I'll go look if I can climb into a tree or something, you know to get a better view. " Dave said.

"Alright, just don't fall out of the tree. " I replied.

"Don't worry dude I've got this. " Dave replied.

Five minutes later..........

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! "  I heard Dave scream in the distance.

I carefully got up and started walking towards the spot I heard Dave scream.

'I told him to be careful.' I thought.

When I arrived I saw Dave lying face-down on the ground, broken branches all around him.

"Are you ok? " I asked.

"Oooh my English tea-bags. " Dave replied.

"Yep you're fine. " I replied casually.

Dave tried to get up but said he just "Wanted to lay down for a sec.".

I just chuckled and told him to get "Get his ass up.", he simply gave me the finger and got up.

"Hey dude I think I saw a cabin just a few miles from here. " Dave said.

"Really and are you sure you didn't just imagined it? " I asked.

"No dude I'm sure of it, now come on and let's get our stuff. " Dave replied.

I nodded in response and we walked back to get our stuff, we arrived, got all our stuff and stared heading towards the cabin that Dave apparently saw from miles away.

"Yo dude I have to ask you something. " I said.

"What is it? " Dave asked.

"I've noticed your breath smells like candy, how many Skittles have you been eating? " I asked.

"Twenty. " Dave replied casually.

"Twenty Skittles? " I asked.

"No twenty packs. " Dave replied.

"Dude are you serious!? " I asked.

"Diabetes for the win! " Dave replied.

I just looked at him and shook my head.

"Te ver? " (To much) Dave asked.

"Veel te ver. " ( Way to much) I replied.

"Alright I'm sorry for saying that about diabetes, may the Lord strike me down with all of his might may I ever say something so foul again. " Dave shouted dramatically.

He looked around and let out a small *phew*.

"How much further is it to that cabin you saw? " I asked.

"Not much further, I think we're almost----There it is! " Dave replied enthusiastically.

"Wait! " I shouted.

"What? " Dave asked.

"Let's go together and let me do the talking, I still can't walk very fast so just support me until we reach the cabin. " I replied.

"Ok ok, now let's go! " Dave replied.

We walked to the cabin.........Well it kind of looked like a cottage, hey I don't judge.

"This looks familiar. " Dave said.

"What do you mean? " I asked.

"I don't know, it's like I've seen this cabin before. " Dave's replied.

"It's probably nothing. " I replied.

Dave nodded and finally we arrived at the cottage.

*Knock Knock*

"Coming! " A feminine voice said.

"Whoa dude that girls voice reminds me a lot of a ponies voice from MLP. " Dave said.

"Really who's. " I asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"FLUTTE------HOLY SHIT! " Dave shouted.

"Dude why are you.......JESUS MALIESUS! " I shouted.

When the door opened we weren't greeted with a nice woman, no in front of us was a cream colored horse with wings and a pink mane!?

She looked at us in horror before letting out a small *eep*, she closed the door and we could hear a *click*, meaning that she probably locked the door.

Dave and I just stood there, our brains still processing what had just occurred, that was until Dave broke the silence.

"D-D-D-Dude, do you know who that was? " He asked.

"N-No, I don't. " I replied still processing the entire thing.

"That w-was F-Fluttershy. " Dave replied.

"Flutterwhonow? " I asked.

"She's one of the main characters from My Little Pony. " Dave replied.

I looked at him before bursting out in laughter.

"Hahahaha, I-I seriously thought you just said My Little Pony hahahaha good one dude, listen the Manticore thing I can believe but a pony from a little girls show no way! " I replied.

"Dude that Manticore was real so why would she not be real, do you honestly think this is a joke or something!? " Dave asked.

He was right about the Manticore thing, it did attack me, at first I thought Dave was joking about the whole pony thing, but now I saw that he was dead serious.

"If that's really one of the main characters from My Little Pony then does that mean that we are in *gulp*..........My Little Pony? " I asked.

"I-I think so man. " Dave replied.

"Oh shit shit shit shiiiiiiiiiiit! " I shouted.

Dude what’s wrong!? Dave asked.

"What's wrong!? What’s wrong!? We're stuck in a TV show, a TV show I hate with a passion! That's what's wrong! " I shouted back.

"Dude I know you're angry but calm down, Fluttershy gets scared really easily, so just calm down, we need to know where we are and how we are going to get back home, Fluttershy is one of the main characters so if we are nice to her she might consider helping us. " Dave explained.

"You are awfully calm about this whole situation. " I replied.

"I don't know, for all I know this is all a dream, ha! I bet if I close my eyes I'll just wake up in the cabin, I probably fell asleep while watching MLP, you know how they say that noises and sudden movements have influence on your dreams. " Dave said.

Dave closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again.

"Well maybe this isn't a dream. " Dave said.

"Yeah right, well you're the one who knows how to handle this situation so go ahead. " I said while pointing at the door.

"I think you should do it, you did say that I don't make good first impressions. " Dave replied.

*sigh* " Ik haat mijn leven. " (I hate my life.)

*Knock Knock*

"Hello miss we're not her to hurt you, we are lost and we need some help. I said trying to use my most " calming voice.

"P-Please g-go a-away. " She pleaded.

"Please miss I promise we won't hurt you, you see me and my friend were attacked by a wild animal, I got hurt pretty bad but my friend patched me up. " I repled.

I heard a *click*, the door opened and revealed the same pony standing in the doorway, legs shaking.

'Poor thing must be scared to death' I thought.

"Y-You were attacked by a w-wild a-animal? " She asked.

"Yes we were, but we're alright so there's no need to worry, mind if we come in? " I asked.

I'll admit I was rushing it a little bit, but hell I wanted to get home as quickly as possible, so quite frankly, I didn't care.

"N-No o-of course not, please come i-in. " She replied.

I nodded and walked inside, I had to bend down a little because I was too long to fit in the doorway, Dave was of course to stupid to see it and he bumped his head.

"AAH SON OF A FUCK! " Dave shouted.

I heard a small *eep* I looked down and I saw Fluttershy crawled behind me hiding behind her mane.

"Dave! " I whispered.

"What!? That fucking hurt! " He whispered back.

"You're scaring her. " I whispered.

He looked at me before I looked down, he looked down as well and his eyes widened.

"Oh shit I didn't mean to scare you miss. " Dave said in a calm tone.

"Just close the door man. " I said.

I turned around and bend over to meet her on eye-level.

She let out a *squeek* and started to move backwards.

"Hey it's alright we're not gonna hurt you, just come here. " I said still using my calm voice.

I held out my hand as a sign of peace, she looked at my hand curiously before sniffing it a few times, she didn't take the hint but whatever.

"Now let's start with names. " I said trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah, my name is Dave Bal, I'm twenty four years old and I love Skittles! " Dave said.

"Yeah right, anyway my name is Ramses Doutzenberg, I'm twenty six years old and I love to exercise." I said.

"My introduction was better. " Dave said.

"Whatever dude,  now what's your name? " I asked, I already knew her name and so did Dave, I just hope Dave doesn't fuck things up now.

"M-My n-name i-is F-Fluttershy. " Fluttershy replied.

"Hey there's no need to stutter, you don't have to be afraid of us. " Dave said.

"Dude you don't say that to someone you've met just two minutes ago. " I said.

"I’m sorry man but stuttering annoys the fuck of me. " Dave replied.

"I-I’m s-sorry i-if I’m a-annoying you, I just g-get s-scared r-really e-easily. " Fluttershy  apologized.

"No its ok, Dave can just be a total asshole from time to time. " I replied.

"O-Oh o-okay, i-if y-you d-don’t m-mind m-me asking, c-could y-you tell m-me w-what y-you a-are?…..If that’s ok with you of course." Fluttershy asked.

"You mean what we are or who we are? " I asked.

"What kind of s-species you are. " Fluttershy replied.

"Well our species is known as Homo-sapiens or Humans. " I replied.

"Hoomans? " Fluttershy asked.

"From what part of Equestria are Humans from? I can’t say I’ve ever heard of your species. " Fluttershy said.

"Well we Humans are not from Equestria but we are from Earth. " I replied.

‘Why was I being so nice to her and why was I telling her all this?’ I thought.

"Y-You’re not f-from E-Equestria? But that means that you a-a-are a-a-alien. " Fluttershy said terrified.

"Please don’t scream, please don’t scream, please don’t scream. Please don’t.--- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! ALIENS! " Fluttershy cut me off.

With that said she fainted.

"Fucking great! " Dave said sarcastically.

"Dude we need to get out of here now! " I said.

"Dude we can’t do that! I mean she was nice enough to let us in her house! " Dave replied.

"Well we were the ones that made her faint! " I replied.

"Well I'm not going anywhere until she wakes up! " Dave replied sternly.

''

Why do you even care about her!? I asked.

"Well she is kind of one of my favorite ponies. " Dave replied.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me. " I replied.

"Nope she's really one of my favorites. " Dave replied.

"Oookaaaaay. " I replied.

"Well we better put her on that couch or something. " Dave suggested.

"Well you pick her up then. " I replied.

"No you pick her up! " Dave replied.

"Why don't you do it? She's your favorite. " I replied.

"One of my favorites! " Dave replied.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you would be overjoyed with all of this, are you not? " I asked.

"Well I am kind of overjoyed but it's just that it would be kind of strange for me to well.......Touch one of them. " Dave replied awkwardly.

"You are really something you know that ? " I asked.

"Well I am Dave so doesn't that explain enough? " Dave asked.

"I guess it does. " I replied

I walked over to Fluttershy and gently picked her up.

‘Wow she's surprisingly light.’ I thought.

I suddenly felt something tugging my leg, I looked down and I saw a........Rabbit?

‘What the fuck?’ I thought.

"Dude why did you......Oh look it's Angel bunny. " Dave said.

"Angel  bunny? " I asked.

"If you would have paid attention to the stories I told you about My Little Pony you would have known that Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness and that she takes care of the animals that live with her or come to her of they are hurt or hungry. That rabbit is her pet bunny Angel. " Dave replied.

"So she's some kind of vet? " I asked.

"Kind of. " Dave replied.

"Ok, hey little buddy how ya doin? " I asked while putting Fluttershy on the couch and bending over to pet Angel.

"Dude I wouldn't do that if I were you. " Dave said casually.

"Come on man it's just a rabbit, it's not like he's wild. " I replied.

"Whatever dude but don't say I didn't warn you. " Dave replied.

"Yeah yeah whatever. " I replied.

"Alright buddy I'm not gonna hurt you. " I said while holding out my hand.

Angel sniffed it a few times before moving closer.

"And here comes the bite. " Dave said.

Instead of biting me, Angel hopped on my hand lay down in my palm.

"Excuse me but what was it you said again? " Something about a bite? I asked mockingly.

"Why you little. " Dave replied.

"Easy there Homer. " I said while scratching Angel behind his ear.

"What do we do now? " Dave asked.

"We wait until she wakes up and hope she doesn't faint again. " I replied.

"That's your plan? " Dave asked

"In a nutshell yes. " I replied.

"This is not one of your don't worry I got this and this is never gonna go wrong plans right? " Dave asked.

"No dude this is one of my I'm the smartest of us two so why won't you shut the fuck up plans. " I replied.

"Aaah I get it this is one of your I'm going to be an asshole again plans. " Dave replied.

"Well.......You're face is stupid! " I replied.

"Wow, BEST.INSULTION.EVER. " Dave replied sarcastically.

"Fuck you. " I replied.

"Well I guess we'll wait untill she wakes up than, but I think it would be for the best not scare her. " Dave said.

"Have you seen your face there's no way she's not gonna be scared of you. " I replied.

"Well fuck you to asshole. " Dave replied.

And with that we waited......And waited and waited, did I already say that we waited? Because we did, we waited for so long at least two hours, maybe more.

"Dude it's been three hours, I'm just gonna get a bucket of water and pour it over her or something. " I said.

"Dude don't do that. You've pulled that joke on me so many times and it's no happy feeling. " Dave replied.

"Ooooh w-what happened. " We heard someone say.

"Shit dude she's waking up. " Dave said.

"No shit Sherlock. " I replied.

"A-Angel where are you.......Oh no Angel bunny! Please don't hurt him. " Fluttershy pleaded.

"Wow wow wow don't worry miss, were not here to hurt your bunny or you. " I replied..

"T-Then why a-are y-you here? " Fluttershy asked.

"We don’t know miss, please don’t faint again, we promise we won’t hurt you. " Dave said/pleaded.

"A-Alright b-but have y-you seen a white bunny? " Fluttershy asked.

"You mean this bunny? " I asked while holding out my hand.

In my hand was Angel, the supposedly dangerous biting bunny ( according to Dave) sleeping in my hand.

"O-Oh my, Angel bunny has never done that with strangers, normally he is very stubborn but he never would have done so if he didn’t trust you, so I g-guess I can trust you as well. " Fluttershy said.

"Great! " I replied.

"But if I may ask, What are you again. I seem to have forgotten. " Fluttershy asked sheepishly.

"Well as I said before our species is called Humans. " I replied.

"Hoomans? " Fluttershy asked.

'Close enough.' I thought.

"Yes and what kind of species are you? " I asked.

I heard a *slap* and when I turned my head I saw Dave face-palming.

"Can’t you see she’s a pony? " Dave asked

Wow Dave already fucked up our whole scheme.

"Y-Yes I-I a-am a p-pony, how d-did y-you know. "  Fluttershy asked.

"Lucky guess? " Dave replied.

‘Real smooth idiot.’ I thought.

"Well ehm what was your name again? " I asked.

"Fluttershy. " She replied.

"Fluttershy’s right, is it ok if I ask you some questions? " I asked.

"Y-Yes o-of c-course. " Fluttershy replied.

"Wait I think I should ask the questions. " Dave intertwined.

I got up and walked over to Dave.

"Didn’t I just say that like two hours ago that I should do the talking? " I asked.

"Well yeah but I’ve read enough Fan fictions to know what questions to ask. " Dave replied.

"Wait aren’t Fan fictions those story’s fans make about their favorite TV show or game? " I asked.

"Well…..yes. How did you know? " Dave asked.

"Well a few weeks ago my laptop ran out of power so I used yours, after doing the things I needed to, curiosity got the better of me and I started going to your history……Let’s just say the things I found were…..Disturbing. " I replied.

"W-What did you find? " Dave asked.

"Does the term clop remind you of something? " I asked.

Dave looked at me with a shocked expression.

"Dude I swear I-It was a miss click! " Dave replied.

"You sure about that, because the next day we were missing a lot of toilet paper. " I replied.

"I caught a cold! " Dave replied.

"You mean Dave junior caught a cold. " I replied mockingly.

"Fuck you. " Dave replied.

"U-Uhm e-excuse m-me? " Fluttershy asked.

"Yes what is it? " I replied.

"W-What’s  a l-laptop? " Fluttershy asked.

"Shit, she probably heard the entire conversation, I was glad she didn’t asked me what a fan fiction was. "  I thought.

"Yo Dave can you give me my laptop? " I asked.

"Sure hold on a sec. " Dave replied.

"Uhmm Fluttershy I don’t want to be a burden but do you mind if I sit down for a sec? My chest really hurts and my feet are kind of sore. " I asked.

"Feet? " Fluttershy replied.

"Well do you see this thing? " I asked while holding my right hand out.

She nodded in response.

"These I said while holding my hand out are called hands and those little appendages attached to it are called fingers, you see we humans have hands and feet, we walk on our feet and we use our hands to write, grab things and many more, but from all the walking my feet are kind of sore so do you mind if I sit down? " I asked.

"Oh you poor thing well of course you can sit down here just make yourself comfortable and sit on the couch. " Fluttershy replied.

I have to say, she really warmed up to us, one moment she was scared shitless and the other moment she offers me to sit on her couch ‘Heh maybe these ponies aren’t as bad as I thought.’

I walked to wards the couch, Fluttershy being right behind me, she was eyeing me very curiously ‘She probably wants to bombard me with questions’ I thought.

I sat down on the couch and I could hear some *cracks*, at first I thought the couch would break but it was actually pretty strong, Fluttershy ( to my surprise) sat down beside me and kept looking at me with a curious glare.

"Ehm is there something you want to ask? " I asked.

"Well yes as a matter of fact there is. " She replied.

"Well ask away. " I replied.

"You said that your chest hurts, why does it hurt? " She asked.

"Well I was attacked by a animal back in the forest. " I replied.

She looked at me with a shocked expression on her face.

"Y-You were in the Evertree Forest!? " She asked.

‘The Evertree Forest? I am defiantly not in Brattleboro anymore.’ I thought.

"Well yes I was in the Evertree Forest…..Is that a bad thing? " I asked.

"Well of course it is, oh you poor thing here let me check if you’re alright. " Fluttershy replied while moving, putting her frond legs on my legs.

‘Ok this is starting to get weird.’ I thought.

"No  don’t worry I’m fine, just three cuts on my chest but don’t worry Dave already took care of the wounds. " I replied.

"I heard my name dude what’s……DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!? " Dave shouted.

I looked towards Dave and then I saw the awkward position me and Fluttershy were in.

"I-It’s not what it looks like! " I quickly replied.

"Well from the looks of it you were about to have a clop with Fluttershy! " Dave replied.

Fluttershy looked  at Dave in confusion before noticing the awkward position we were in, she blushed furiously before pulling her hoofs away from my legs and moving of the couch.

"O-Oh m-my I-I’m s-so s-sorry, I-I j-just t-thought y-you w-were hurt a-and I-I---. "

"Fluttershy its ok, you didn’t do anything wrong. " I cut her off.

"O-Ok, b-but what exactly attacked you? " She asked.

"Dave what did you call that thing again? " I asked.

"Manticore. " Dave replied casually.

"Yeah that attacked me. " I said.

"A Manticore attacked you!? Are you sure you are alright? did he sting you with its tail? " Fluttershy asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

‘Why is she so concerned about me?’ I thought.

"Well yes I am ok and don’t worry I ki---. "

"He kicked his ass! " Dave suddenly cut me off.

"Uhm sure yeah I kicked his ass. " I said.

"What’s an ass? " Fluttershy asked.

‘Oh dear god.’ I thought.

"Well ass is another term for our rears. " I asked.

She looked at me in confusion.

"What is your rear called? " I asked.

She blushed a little before answering.

"Y-You m-mean m-my flank? " She asked.

"Yeah, lest just say that ass is another word for flank. " I replied.

"Oh o-ok. " She replied.

"Hey dude I got your laptop." Dave said while passing me the laptop.

Fluttershy looked at the laptop curiously, when I turned it on and the screen started to lit up she let out a small *eep*, I told her not to worry and eventually she calmed down.

What do I show her? I have no internet………AH I know it! I have a lot of music stored on my laptop as well as a lot of movies.

"Hey Fluttershy do you like music? " I asked.

‘God what a stupid question who doesn’t love music?’ I thought

"Yes I-I do like music. " Fluttershy replied.

"Well you’re in, luck then. You are going to be the first pony to ever hear alien music! " I replied.

"Ehm yay? " Fluttershy replied.

"Alright this is one of my favorite songs. " I said.

I then hit the play button and the music started playing.

Youtube Video

While the music was playing Dave was listening to the song with a neutral expression, Fluttershy on the other hand had closed her eyes and was humming with the beat of the music.

After a two more minutes the song ended and Fluttershy opened her eyes.

"That was beautiful. " Fluttershy said.

"Thanks, would you like to hear more? " I asked.

"I would love to but my good friend Rarity is coming to pick me up for the spa and……Oh my Rarity is going to pick me up for the spa! " Fluttershy said a lot louder than usual.

"Is that a bad thing? " I asked.

"Well if she sees you then yes it is a bad thing. " Fluttershy replied.

"I have an idea! " Dave intertwined.

"What is it? " I asked.

"We’ll kidnap her. " Dave replied.

"Wow that might be one of your stupidest ideas yet. " I replied.

"No no just hear me out on this one dude, Alright Fluttershy will invite Rarity for a cup of tea while we hide behind the couch, Rarity walks in Fluttershy closes and locks the door, we come out of our hiding spot and introduce ourselves, Rarity calms down and we will live happily ever after. " Dave explained.

"Wow that might actually work. " I said.

"I know right. " Dave replied.

"Fluttershy what do you think? " I asked.

"Well as long as anypony won’t get hurt I will help. " Fluttershy said.

"Great now we only need cool code-names………I got it! Ramses your code-name will be Big Daddy, my code-name will be Total Badass and Fluttershy’s code-name will be The Vet. " Dave said.

"Alright fine but why do you have to be named Total Badass, Total Pussy would fit you better. " I replied.

"Yeah blablablabla, I hope you get send to prison and drop the soap while showering. " Dave replied.

"Aawwhhh dude gross, not cool. " I replied.

"Hey you asked for it. " Dave replied.

"Why would you want him to get send to prison and drop the soap while showering? " Asked a very Fluttershy.

"Because he’ll get ass fu----. "

"Because Dave’s an asshole that’s why. " I cut Dave of before he could finish his sentence.

"Yeah yeah just deny the truth gay boy. " Dave replied.

"Let’s just wait until Rarity arrives shall we? " I asked.

"Sure thing dude. " Dave replied.

"Fluttershy how long until Rarity arrives? " I asked.

"I think she’ll be here in half an hour. " Fluttershy replied.

"Great so that means we can practice our code-names! " Dave replied.

"Yay. " I replied sarcastically.

I just hope we don’t fuck this up………..