The Shadows of War

Snow raged outside the barracks. I sat off to the side while all around me, soldiers with the same faces all cleaned their rifles. I knew this day... it was a few months ago, about a week after we had taken Saint Feathersburg, and the Gryphons were launching a minor attack to take it back. We had had a days warning, and for once, had plenty of time to get ready. It had been an easy battle, but we still lost a couple of guys.

Across from me, Dream Dancer hummed as she cleaned the action on a pistol. Neither of us said anything for a while as soft music played from a radio off to the side. It was a song I recognized, but in the dream, I couldn’t place it. The soft jingle played while the soldiers all silently went about preparing.

Finally, she opened her mouth and spoke. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna heard what you did at the bank, you know. Even if you wont remember this when you wake up, I thought you should know here. You saved a lot of people. That's what is special about you.”

I looked up at her. My hands smelled of gun oil and grease, but for me, that was a comforting smell. Ironic, the one smell that you really associate with guns, other than sulfur, and it was one of the few that really gave me peace of mind. “What, that I am really good at hurting people for a good cause?”

She snorted. “No, dumbass. That you took your skills as a soldier, and found a place to apply them. You helped people. Applebloom owes you her life at least once, possibly twice, and Applejack will never forget what you did for her family. You saved the friend of a young mare named Scootaloo, who is VERY important to Rainbow Dash. Applebloom is also the friend of Babs Seed, a mare in Manehatten, who started a chapter of a club there. The members of that club, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, all know Applebloom as well. Beyond that, Sweetie Belle, younger sister of Rarity, is a good friend of the young mare, and would have been devastated. By saving one life, you kept alive the fragile connections that bound them all together” she said, and around me the soldiers were replaced by the smiling faces of some people I knew, and others I didn’t. Glowing threads connected them all to Applebloom and Applejack. “If you hadn’t been there to save her, if you didn’t have the ability to make that shot... see how much the room would dim?”

Looking around, I nodded. The enormity of the deed dawned on me, but still, I didn’t feel like a hero. “Any other soldier could have done the same.”

The Ex-Ranger from the bank appeared, a toothy grin as he laughed in his handcuffs, and she looked at him. “Yet not all of them would. Like I said, you allowed yourself to become broken rather than change. Now, you are part of this web, and each of them will help you get better. You will not be the same young colt you were before the war. You will be someone else, someone who has a purpose, and someone who matters to the people that get to know you. You were spared from your first test, when you jumped out that window to die. You were saved, and you owe that to this mare here” she said, tapping on the silent and still figure of Rainbow Dash, who stood there with her usual cocky smirk and half lidded eyes, looking as if she was on top of the world.

The scene changed, and I could see below us the battlefield as it would look twelve hours from when we started the first scene. Soldiers on the walls shot at gryphons down below, the charge ending in less than twenty minutes. The question nagging at me finally made its way out of my mouth.

“Why me? Why am I the one to have to do this? When I got back, all I wanted was do drink my sorrows away, but that was denied to me. I would have been much happier... if... if I was...” I said, a lump in my throat. I knew what I was about to say, and it hurt badly. “I mean... being dead cant be so bad. I would get to see my friends again... its not fair.”

She smiled sadly at me. “It really isn’t fair, is it? Yet if you let go now... Rainbow would not be the only one you left behind. Your mother, your soon-to-be SECOND mother, your friends at the factory, the other friends you made in Ponyville... Look! The web you have woven around yourself!” she cried, and I looked. Sure enough, golden light connected me to dozens of other people, all of them smiling at me. A strange warmth grew inside of me, and I looked at them fondly. Up in front was the Cyan mare, and right next to her was Orange Blaze.

“I guess... I don’t really have the right to leave them behind, do I?” I asked, watching as the dream dissolved around me.

“That's the easy way out. How about you live for your friends, okay? The time for dying passed you by a while back. Don’t just survive out there... LIVE.”

Everything faded slowly, and as usual, sorrow clenched my heart. No matter how many new friends I made, I could not forget the once I lost.

I woke up with a strangled cry, the last vestiges of a forgotten dream clinging to me as the usual scent that followed Rainbow Around clung to me, her arms around my shoulders as I breathed hard. “Shhh, hang in there. Take this” she said, and a couple of pills found there way into my trembling hand. A glass of water followed, and I managed to get it down, spilling only a bit in the lap of the wool blanket that covered me. Slowly, my nerves calmed and my hands stopped shaking slightly, and I was able to look around. My breathing returned to normal, and I saw Rainbow sitting back, smiling at me. “Morning there... Next time you see Doctor Turner, you really do need to tell him about these nightmares, okay?”

I slowly nodded, smiling back at her shakily. Still, this morning I felt a bit...hopeful. It was the day of Hearth Warming Eve, and there would be a feast. I hadn't managed to get anything in the way of presents, but Applejack had assured me that that would be fine. Nobody was doing much in the way of gifts this year, as there was a bit of a shortage in stuff after the war. Instead, we had all agreed (and by All I meant that Pinkie Pie had insisted until it was allowed) to have a quiet dinner with the extended group of friends. I didn’t know all who were involved, but Rainbow assured me that it would be fine. Still, there were preparations to be made.

Outside, as I had predicted, it was light snowfall. The clouds were of a special variety made for this one time of year. They were slightly translucent, so that even when bunched up it would let plenty of light through, creating a very warm (metaphorically speaking) and happy atmosphere with plenty of light, even as it snowed. The weather team here was pretty good, but I did privately wonder what Cloudsdale would be like. My mother would probably be cooking the sweet potato pies, the steamed vegetables, cinnamon buns, and tons of other wonderful things.

Finally, I managed to get myself up and out of bed. Rainbow excused herself so that I could get dressed in privacy, and I pulled on a set of decent clothes, nothing too formal (Pinkie Pie had been adamant about the casual atmosphere), and got a pair of loaned slippers on. Stifling a yawn, I went to the bathroom to get my teeth brushed and take care of other morning things and take mental inventory of what had happened up to this point.

Rainbow Dash and I had showed up here after the bank incident yesterday, and Applejack had been nearly as upset as Rainbow. Applebloom plead my case, pointing out that I had saved her and a lot of others (thanks in no small part to her bobby pins, but I had insisted that I had not done all that much. In the end, they were satisfied by my apologies and settled down. Pinkie Pie had showed up a few hours later to get some early decorations put up, and a mare named Scootaloo had crashed here just before bedtime, exhausted and telling Rainbow that she had finished some work for her. The young Pegasus had just smiled tiredly at me and gone to sleep.

Finally, after finishing flossing, I headed out. The kitchen was abuzz with activity as Applejack and Applebloom worked to make food enough to feed twelve people. Dishes were set out on the table, and as I walked in and looked around, I tried to figure out a way to make myself useful.

“Anything I can do to help?” I asked, looking around as Rainbow mixed flour and eggs together for some cake mix. Applejack looked over her shoulder, having been transfering some applesauce from a bowl to another, larger bowl that was more of a vat.

“Sure thing! Can ya help Big Mac set up the dining room? Just ask Pinkie Pie for directions, she's in charge of that. Rainbow! Not that fast!” she said, looking back at the mare in question. “Stiring faster will NOT make it any cooler!”

As Rainbow pouted, I headed to the large dining room. One thing I had learned about earth ponies was that no matter what they did, they ALWAYS had large dining rooms, as they tended to have extended families over for holidays. Pinkie Pie was in one corner, in a coat and hard hat, looking over a clipboard. Scootaloo was putting out some flowers as Big Mac set up a second table off to the side. I approached Pinkie Pie. “Anything I can do?” I inquired, looking at her.

She nodded, not looking at me. “Looks like we need... two more barrels of cider brought in from the Garage. Also, if you can go and let Sweetie Belle and Rarity in!” she said. A moment later, there was a knock on the door and she giggled. “Pinkie Sense NEVER lies!” she said, before pulling a pencil out of her mane and scribbling. I looked at Big Macintosh with raised eyebrows, and she shrugged. Heading down the hallway, I opened the door. In came two white mares with purple manes, both looking fairly fashionable. The taller one had purple diamonds on her upper arms, while the smaller one had a single purple musical note and a microphone. They both smiled, and I returned it as I let them in. Once they wiped their feet, they turned to me.

“I am Steel Wing” I stated, smiling at the taller one and glancing at the shorter one. The taller one smiled back.

“Delighted to meet you, dear. I am Rarity, and this is my sister, Sweetie Belle. Now, if you don’t mind-” she started, before there was a thundering of feet as two mares ran down the hallway. Sweetie Belle gave a shreik and jumped at them, and they all hugged each other as I looked on, bemused.

“Hey, we all came of age this year, right?” asked the orange Pegasus excitedly, do which the other two nodded. “You know what that means...”

Rarity sighed and plugged her ears, while I looked on, a bit nonplussed. A moment later, it was all explained by the words “FORMER CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CIDER DRINKERS! YAAAY!” and a series of high-fives. Rarity rolled her eyes as they walked off, chattering away. I felt a bit miffed that Sweetie Belle had not greeted me back, but it was the holidays. I was in too good of a mood to take offense at that sort of thing. As Rarity and I walked back towards the dinging room, I asked “Are they.. always like this?”

She giggled. “You should have seen them before they all go their Destiny marks. They STILL call them cutie marks... but everyone is entitled to foalish tendencies once in a while” she said, just as there was another knock on the door. It was getting on towards ten, and it made sense people would be showing up around now. As I headed back to the door, Rarity got to whatever task she had in mind.

I opened the door, and outside stood a yellow Pegasus mare, and behind her, Princess Twilight Sparkle. They both smiled as they came in. Looking at the Pegasus, I smiled and said “Name's Steel Wing. Pleasure to meet you, and happy Hearth Warming Eve” as I held out my hand. The mare looked at it, and at a gentle nudge from the princess, smiled back. “Fluttershy... Rainbow told me you were nice. It's good to meet you...” she said in a quiet voice. A voice from the kitchen called “Fluttershy? Is that you? Get in here, ah need yer help with the salad mix!”

Fluttershy smiled again at me and went off, heading for the kitchen. Finally, I turned back, standing there uncomfortably. Everyone knew that Princess Sparkle did not like to be addressed as such, but I had yet to meet her, so I didn’t know exactly HOW to address her. Eventually, I settled on “Erm... Thanks for stopping the war?”

For a moment, she only stared at me, before she burst out laughing. For nearly twenty seconds she laughed, before pulling herself up straight again and smiled. “Geeze! All I did was sign the paper, from what I hear it was YOU who stopped it. So, you're the one I had to bail out of jail?” she asked, still smiling. That brought some pink to my cheeks as I looked down.

“Erm.. thanks... for that. Silver Star and I don’t get along...”

She nodded, face sobering up a bit as we headed for the dining room. I couldn’t belive that I had opened with such a stupid line to the Princess of Friendship! I fully expected to be banished somewhere, and then put in a prison in said place I had been banished to. I felt like a buffoon. Still, she nodded and said “No one gets along with him anymore. If he doesn’t clean up, I think that I will have to ask Ivory Scroll to let him go... I know he lost his brother, but if he can't do his job, then he is just putting everyone in danger. The incident at the bank... I still can't believe that happened. Thank you, by the way, for what you did. You put yourself in danger to save others.”

I toed the ground again. “It wasn’t anything, really. I saw a chance and took it. Besides... if you don’t mind, I would rather not talk about it. I kinda just wanna eat. But thank you anyways, Princess.”

She sighed. “Just Twilight will do. After what Rainbow has told me, I think you are just as much a friend to me as you are to her. Anyone who protects my friends is good in my books.”

Preparation continued afoot, and finally, the table was being set. The larger table played host to most of us, while Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle, along with a small dragon hatching (I had to do a double take) named Spike sat at the smaller one. They were all engaged in gossip relative to the teenagers of the day, and despite the fact I was only a year or two older than any of them, I didn’t really know anything that they were talking about.

Finally, we were ready to go, and we all sat at the tables. Steaming heaps of food were all across it, and the wonderful smells of the baked and cooked goods wafted through the air, enough to chase off the legendary wendigos that were the bane of the holiday. Twilight sat on the end of the table opposite of Applejack. On Twilights left sat Fluttershy, with Big Macintosh next to her, and Pinkie Pie next to Applejack. Across from Pinkie Pie sat Rainbow Dash, with me next to her, and Rarity on the other side of me. Finally, after the jostling of chairs, Applejack cleared her throat.

“Happy Hearth Warming Eve to y'all. Before we all eat this here food, ah think we should go around and say somethin' we're grateful fer. Hearth Warmin' Eve's all about friendship and harmony and other neat things that make one all warm an' fuzzy inside, and I fer one am darn grateful fer Steel Wing. He saved mah chops as y'all heard, and mah sister.”

Pinkie Pie thought for a moment as my cheeks flushed, before smiling. “I'm happy that even when things are really bad, like during a war, we all still have friends to count on. Even when they aren't around anymore, you can still rely on what they teach you! Like cake recipes, or funny noises, or kumquat recipies, or-” she said, before Big Mac cleared his throat.

“Ah'm happy that we got ourselves another good harvest, some good friends, and some good cider this year. Ain’t take much else to make fer a good life” he said.

Fluttershy cleared her throat, looking nervous as we all waited, looking at her. Finally, she said “I'm really happy Discord is okay, even after the Tirek thing... He really helped out a lot during the war and I was scared for him, but now he is okay... so I guess I am happy for that...”

Princess Twilight looked thoughtful. “I'm happy that we all have a new friend here too. Like Applejack said, Hearth Warming's Eve is all about Friendship and Harmony, and I think that the more friends you have, the better life is. Rarity?” she asked.

Rarity smiled. “I am grateful that the war is over, and I can go back to making scarfs instead of boots. It always felt horrible, profiting off of war. Nopony should make a living off of others dying... oh, no offense!” she said, looking at me with horrified eyes.

I shrugged. “No harm, no foul. I didn’t get paid THAT much” I said, smiling. Her remark, unintentional though it was, stung a bit, but I didn’t want it to get in my way. “I'm happy I found someone to care enough about me to keep my head on straight” I said, nudging Rainbow, who stopped staring at the cider in front of her for a moment. “Thanks Dash. I owe you” I said, smiling at her.

Rainbow nodded back, smiling. “I'm happy that dunderhead here didn’t make a mess of anything today... ouch!” she said, wincing as I elbowed her. “Fine, fine. Well... I guess, to be honiest, I'm kinda glad you hit me with tat table. I mean, I really am happy to have made a new friend too. After Soarin, I kinda fell apart a bit, but I'm back to my old awesome. So... cider time now?”

The crusaders all said their bit, and with that Applejack said “The prayer... We give thanks for this bread, we give thanks for these beets, We give thanks for our friends, now lets get them eats!”

There was the normal laughter at that sort of thing, and we all dug in.

I helped myself to a liberal amount of stuffing, and piled high with some little bread puffs whos name eluded me while Rainbow poured herself a mug of cider and got one for me too. My hands were shaking a bit, and I frowned as I concentrated on getting a fork of food to my mouth. Noticing it, Fluttershy looked across at me. “Are you okay?” she asked, concern in her voice.

I nodded. “Some sort of issue from being a soldier. It only gets bad when I get a bit scared, but other times it just springs up. Nothing to worry about. So you work with animals?” I said, hoping to change the subject. What followed was a short speech on how the Animal Care Center, Ponyville Chapter worked. She did everything from tending to wounded animals to working on waking them up during Winter Wrap Up. I was a bit surprised really, but when she explained her Masters of Science in Veterinary Medicine, it all made quite a bit of sense. I remembered the name now, Fluttershy was regarded in Cloudsdale as one of the worst fliers to come out of it, yet the most succesful Pegasus to fail flight school. She had made something of a name for herself as a vet, and was known for her ability to work with any animal.

She nodded, smiling. “I take care of all sorts of animals. Ever since Ponyville got bigger, though, people wanted an animal shelter, so I opened one up in town. It was hard being around so many other people, but thanks to my friends” she said, smiling around before continuing, “It got easier, and now I get to be around other people who like animals all day!”

To my left, Rainbow was leaning across and whispering to Pinkie Pie. Finally, she turned to me while Fluttershy chattered to Princess Twilight. “So, you having fun? Nothing too... erm.... it's not too much?”

I smiled and shook my head, taking a bite of sweet potato and swallowing. “It's great. Nice and quiet, just like at home. The food is great! Did you plan this, Miss Pie?” I asked, turning to Pinkie Pie. She nodded vigorously.

“Sure did! Rainbow here called me and said that you don’t like loud crowded things, and so I thought 'what kind of party is quiet?' but then I remembered that Twilight has books on all sorts of parties so I was like 'LIGHTBULB' and went there and got a book on quiet parties and all sorts of special decorations and-” she said, before I just put out my hand on hers, smiling.

“Thanks. It really means a lot to me that all of you are helping.” At my words, they all looked at me, and I cleared my throat. The cider was getting to me a bit, and my cheeks felt a bit warm, but I knew what I wanted to say.

“I wanted to say thanks to you, to all of you, for putting up with me. I know I can be a bit difficult at times, and that sometimes my face looks a bit... unnerving, in the wrong light... but it really means a lot to me. I hope I can get a lot better, and I wanna pay you all back for your help.”

There was a bit of silence, and then Twilight cleared her throat. “Well, thanks for that. Anyways, if everyone is done with this course, how about dessert? Good Dessert and good company makes for a  good Hearth Warming Eve!”

There was a clattering of plates, and we all started to make room for dessert.

Two hours and several hard drinks later, I leaned back in the living room. I was sitting on the rug off to the side of the fire, and we were all gathered in here in varying states of sobriety and wakefulness. Outside, it was getting dim due to increasing clouds with all of the Pegasi having gone home for the holiday, and the snow was falling freely. Everyone was quietly chatting, and I sat off to the side, smiling into the fire. The warmth was comforting, and the red and orange in it reminded me of my best friend. Privately, I wondered how Blaze was doing. I hadn’t gotten any letters from her, but... who knows.

That thought faded away into the alcoholic mist permeating... permeating? Fermenting? It was having some sort of effect on my mind, and it was about time to go home. Soon enough, it would be dark out even though it was only getting on towards sixteen hundred. If I remembered right, Fluttershy had volunteered to drive those who were too inebriated home in her van, one that I had seen parked out there with the “FlutterCare Animal Services”. She really was such a nice person... it really reminded me of poor Radio Wave. THAT was a good kid...

Yawning, I leaned back as Rainbow Dash giggled at a joke and got up. “Allright, Happy Hearth Warning Eve, Applejack. Hey, thanks for having us over, but we gotta get going. You up for taking me and him home Fluttershy?”

The yellow Pegasus nodded and stretched. She seemed to be fairly happy right now, and it was likely she would come back to make a couple of more trips. For now, I left the room and grabbed my bags.

I stopped when I set everything on my bed to organize it. On the pillow was a small box wrapped in brown paper and done up with bailing twine, a little tag on it that read “To: Mister Wing, From: Applebloom. Happy Hearth Warming Eve!”

Wonder what's in this... I wondered to myself, as I pulled on the string and opened it. The string came undone and the wrapping came off easily enough, and the box inside was blue cardboard. It was when I opened the box and saw what was in it that made me smile. A small chunk of dark wood, the kind from the Timberwolves, carved into a chess piece, a Knight, and painted up with silver armor and a musket. That filly.

Heading out with the piece in my pocket, I nodded at her with a smile as she looked at me, and we exchanged a silent thank you to each other before she turned back to her friends. Rainbow was waiting for me at the door, and Fluttershy was getting the van started. Twice I had to catch myself on Rainbow as I stumbled on the uneven paving stones, and the world did seem to sway just a tiny bit on the way out.

The van smelled of critters, but the drive home was short enough for me. All I really wanted was to get back to the familiar guest bed, and show Rainbow what I had figured out for a present for her. Next to me, she turned her head and looked out the window sighing. After a bit, she turned to me and looked me in the eye. “Have fun?” she asked.

I nodded. “You have pretty nice friends. I never knew all that many people growing up, and certainly not the variety you hang out with. Hard to believe that so many people with so many interests all have each other in common.

Fluttershy spoke up from the front. “A year ago I still didn’t really talk to anyone. But between Discord encouraging me to mix up my life a bit, and Rainbow encouraging me, and everyone else helping me to fit in, I didn’t decide to move out of Ponyville when it got bigger. A bit of trust and faith goes a long way” she said.

A moment later, another voice, a deeper male one, replied to her. “It most CERTAINLY does, dear Fluttershy. How was your Heart Warning?”

I started, eyes widening as I saw a serpentine figure in the front of the car, but Rainbow put a hand on my shoulder and leaned forward, her rosy cheeks flushed a bit more than they were a moment ago.

“Dammit Discord! Don’t sneak up on people like that! I thought you were supposed to be nicer now!”

He turned around, his yellow and red eyes with mismatched pupils staring at first Rainbow, and then me. Finally, he slithered out of his seat and behind us. That did NOT help my nerves as Fluttershy groaned and Rainbow glared, but the Draconequis just smiled. “So this is the Steel Wing I heard so much about... back from the war? Congratulations on winning, by the way! Jolly good work you did there I presume?”

The sight of that face and those eyes inches from my own, and his casual disregard of personal boundaries started to get at me. A moment later, I swallowed twice and said “So, Discord? Appearing out of nowhere uninvited? Rather predictable. We had a few stories about you. Supposedly Luna asked you to lead the attack on the Solomare Islands, due to your strategic genius? How'd that work? Heard you got sent packing.”

A moment later, Rainbow guffawed. The LEGENDARY defeat of Discord on three occasions by a Neighponeese admiral had been broadcast all over, as three times Discord had been forced to retreat before firing a shot to avoid loosing an entire fleet. He had redeemed himself, but after his boasting about being able to win the entire eastern front in a week had been proven false, most had regarded him as an ineffectual commander at best. In front, Fluttershy sighed again as Discord scowled, his cloths switching to an Admirals uniform and a white flag appearing in his hand. Even half drunk, I managed to get one in on the Lord of Chaos.

“Now now Discord, if you can't play nice I wont rub your back when we get home. And you DID boast a lot about that... how about you just go home and we can have a nice, quiet evening there, okay?”

“But FLUTTERSHY....” he whined, before she shot a stern glance at him through the rear-view mirror, and he vanished. The rest of the ride home was uneventful, and I worked at calming myself down.

Eventually, we pulled up on the sidewalk next to Rainbow's cloud house, and we both got out of the side. I was hoping that my letter had gotten out and back on time, but single afternoon delivery was sometimes a bit of a stretch. If Golden Bit had come through on her promise however....

The question was answered as Rainbow stopped on her front porch, bending over a box. “What's this? Single Day Delivery, to Rainbow Dash? I didn’t order anything!” she said, looking a bit puzzled.

I took the box and said “It IS for you. I ordered it last night, and Miss Bits promised to make sure it got here on time. It's a present for you. I was hoping it would get here... I think you will like it. Sort of a thank you and an apology for worrying you at the bank” I said as Fluttershy drove off.

We both went in, and I stood by, yawning and stretching while Rainbow set about opening the package. I knew already she would love it, and I was not disappointed as she let out a bit of a “Squee” sound, grinning as she pulled out a Gryphon Luger, complete with three magazines (No bullets), delivered from my storage unit that my mother had put it into when I mailed it to her. Complete with it was a cleaning kit and some other odds and ends for maintaining it.

“How did you know I wouldn’t hate guns? I haven’t told anyone but the other girls about that!” she said, looking up, wide eyed. I just smiled a bit. The truth had not been hard for me to figure out.

“Easy. Every time you saw a picture of one, your eyes lit up, and I already know you are a bit... fascinated with the military. I checked into it, and you are allowed to own a firearm since you are in the Wonderbolt Reserves. Happy Hearth Warming Eve, Dash” I said, looking at her.

For once, she just smiled, before getting up and wrapping me in a hug. We both stood there as the snow fell outside, the world silent and at peace. “Happy Hearth Warming Eve, buddy” she said, chin on my shoulder.