The Shadows of War

I scowled, sitting back in the cell at the police station. It was one of four cells in there, and the only one occupied. The conversation played back in my mind readily.

4 hours ago, at around 0900

“Steel Wing? You're under arrest.”

“What for?” I had asked, looking at him. I had just been on my way to Sugarcube Corner to meet up with Pinkie Pie so that she could ensure I didn’t get into any trouble. I was still fresh from my emotional high caused by my counseling, but I was lucid enough to realize I had not commited any crimes that I knew of.

“If you are mister Steel Wing, as I know you are, the Ponyville Police Sheriff's Office... thats MY office, has been warned that, as part of your parole, you are not to be out and about without an escort or handler. As I don’t see Miss Dash around, that means you are violating the terms of your parole. That carries a fine of twelve hundred bits in your case... and I need you to come with us.”

“Officer Star” I started, looking him in the eye. “I am heading to Sugarcube Corner to see Miss Pie. Go ask here, she will vouch for me.”

At the mention of her name, his eye twitched and he pulled out his handcuffs. “Alright, if you don’t let me put these on Brass Button and I are gonna put you away for resisting arrest too.”

It pretty much went downhill from there after I swung at him.

Present

I wiped my mouth. He had gotten in a damn fine left hook, but it was his tazer that really put me down finally. My pants were still wet from pissing myself, and my arm spazzed once in a while. He and Brass Button had had to work hard to get me in the back of the car, and I regretted having resisted now, although I didn’t for a moment regret punching them. Four times. Each.

Silver Star sat at his desk outside, glaring at me as well, both eyes turning a nasty shade of black, while Brass Button was on the phone. Two other officers looked at me, one with sympathy and the other with annoyance. Amusingly, not one person on the street had tried to help Silver Star, and two of them had just walked away after I threw the first punch.

Finally, Brass Button hung up. “That was Princess Sparkle. She says that Miss Dash and Miss Pie will be on their way here, and that he has a royal pardon. Sorry boss.”

At that, he stood up, swearing and looking at me. “You know, you are a lucky son of a bitch. How is it that you can get off of assaulting officers of the law TWICE? Murdering freak is what you are. If it was in my athourity, I would have you thrown out of town with nothing but the shirt on your back. We don’t need soldiers here, and we don’t need violent freaks like YOU” he spat, adjusting the pack of peas to his other cheek.

“Lucky for him, it ISNT” a bold voice came as the door opened. His words bounced off of me, but at Rainbows voice I perked up, standing up in my cell. Behind her, looking pissed, was the pink mare from Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie. Her hair was a lot flatter than I remember, and her hands shook a bit as she glared at Silver Star. Rainbow walked on in and held up a scroll. “Royal Order... Twilight heard about it, and apologizes for his actions. She promises it wont happen again, and commends you on a job well done. As you can see, he is in the medical care of Time Turner for some issues.”

I glowered. “I don’t have ISSUES! That THUG wouldn’t listen to me” I shouted, slamming a fist on the cage. Thus far, I was more annoyed than feeling like curling up, and my stomach had been cramping up the past few hours.

“Hush you! Star, open the cell, or I will get Twilight in here and you can tell HER that you haven’t obeyed her. In case you don’t recall, she is pretty happy to swing her power around since she got back from the treaty signing. Which was last night. And she is pretty cranky. And she signs your budget.

He sneered, before opening my cell. “You're free to go, Mister Wing. Thanks for your service” he said, letting me out before turning to the pink mare. “Pinkie, it-” he started.

The next moment he was staggering back towards his desk following a resounding smack from Miss Pie's hand, and he swore viciously as he held his still raw cheek. “NOPONY breaks a pinkie promise!” she shouted, and stormed out. I just looked at Rainbow, who shrugged. “Lets get going.”

One Walk to Sugarcube Corner Later [/b

“-then you showed up, and I guess you know more after that than I do” I finished narrating, the story of my brief imprisonment now relayed to the two mares walking with me. Pinkie giggles. “Yeah, he is mean now. But he wasn’t always like that.” she said.

I looked at her as we walked through the door and sat down at a table. At this hour, nearly six, there was only one other stallion in here, an elderly gray one with a golf club destiny mark, reading a newspaper. He gave a curt nod at us all, before going back to browsing who knows what.

“Hard to imagine. How do you know him, Miss Pie, if you don’t mind me asking” I inquired. It was hard to imagine this energetic pony knowing that thug of a cop. Rainbow rolled her eyes, but for once Pinkie didn’t start with a long phrase said in one breath. She simply went behind the counter, pulling up three mugs and filling them with apple cider, and bringing over some pastries to munch on. “Well... its a long story, but if you want, I can tell you the short story. I made a Pinkie Promies though..” she said, looking at Dash, who nodded at her. “Go ahead, Pinkie. He needs to know sooner or later, and sooner sounds better. He can take it.”

I looked between them. “Did someone die?”

Both of them winced. “Yeah actually, his brother. Died in an air raid the night before the Landings on Normaredy. Funny thing is that the letter he got was delivered from Gryphany mail. But his younger brother was killed there” said Rainbow.

I stopped, the smirk on my mouth gone as my face went white. One image popped up, that night. A frantic rush through the city, where we had seen one stallion who, now that I think about it, looked ALOT like Silver Star, but with a red coat and a gold mane instead of blue and silver. “Was his brother... red and gold, by any chance?” I asked, a feeling of dread.

Pinkie stared at me. “How... how did you know THAT?” she asked, hair suddenly very flat.

“I.... oh god. Sweet, sweet Celestia...” I said, leaning back. “I think I saw the poor kid... we had to leave him, there wasn’t anything anyone could do for him. He... I...” I said, panic clawing its way into my mind. Then there was a cough from the corner, and I snapped.

Running out of the burning bar, the lieutenant used quick hand signals to put us in formation. Blaze took point with her Submachine Gun, and I followed close behind. Other squads were running, and abruptly the sound of Antiaircraft Artillery started up. The thudding of large 40 millimeter flak cannons was pleasant, and a burning bomber spun out of the sky. Off to our side, there was a faint cry of “H-help...” from under a bit of fallen rubble.

Private Silk jogged over, and I followed. A soldier lay there, face slightly burned, and a long pipe sticking out of his belly. A chunk of building lay over him, and he squirmed feebly. “IRON! WE GOT A LIVE ONE!” she hollared, and Iron Hoof came over, easily tossing the chunk aside. “Help me move him to the sidewalk!” she instructed, and I shouldered my rifle into its sling, grabbing one of his legs. The poor fellow didn’t look like he had much left in him. She snapped her fingers, testing for shock, and he seemed dazed. He muttered something about his squad, and she jabbed him with a morphine syrette. “No good, Lieutenant Bar. He's in mild shock, and we don’t have anything that can fix him. He's gonna dies sir, recommend we move on.”

I just stared at the poor fellow. Not only was he going to die, he was going to die all alone. I felt my gorge rise a bit, but swallowed hard, focusing on the mission. Lieutenant Bar looked down at him. “Sorry we cannot help you. I'll let someone know where to pick you up.”

As the dying soldier protested, we moved off... leaving the poor kid to die. The sobbing... the sobbing as we left...

Choked sobbing reached my ears. It wasn’t until a rainbow obscured my face and I felt a shaking that I looked up. The shroud of war faded and I stared into two very bright eyes, Rainbow's face an inch from mine. “Snap out of it! Hey! Come on!” she said, and my breath hitched. My cheeks were wet, and my throat was raw as if I had been crying. I HAD been crying, as I took a shuddering breath.

“We left him to DIE! Rainbow, that was his BROTHER! I... I should have done something!” I said, pushing her back. Air. I needed air. I felt the panic clawing its way through my mind, but I couldn’t stop it. It was my fault! All my fault! We should have moved him, there wasn’t all that much danger, and the major had already been on her way and... and... and I had taken my first life that night.

Lurching to my feet, I ignored the protests of both Pinkie and Rainbow, pushing out the door and falling to my knees. It was getting towards night out there, and the cool air was soothing to my tortured soul. My skin felt fevered and hot, and I tored off my jacket as I tried to hold back sobs. The face of that soldier... the look of pure, animal terror as we left him to die. We had condemned him as surely as if we had shot him ourselves. Just like Radio Wave... he had no place in that war. None of us did! Sweet Celestia, what was happening to me...

“Hey.... Hey!”

Turning around and looking up behind me, I saw Rainbow looking down. Slowly, she crouched. “Hey... look... whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault.”

“How can you say that?” I snapped, staring her in the eyes. “I was there! We just LEFT him! Never leave a soldier behind! And he was still alive too, we could have saved him or... or at least been there! He died alone!” I said, my voice straining. My chest felt tight, and I coughed. My skin BURNED, and I felt dizzy as my stomach cramped. Once again, I found myself heaving whatever my stomach contents were onto the ground, agony gripping my guts.

“Woah! Wing! Whats going on? PINKIE! Call an ambulance!” she shouted as I rolled onto my back in my own sick. The sky above me stretched on and on, and Luna's moon twinkled at me. “I'm sorry...” I gasped, before surrendering to the black that was closing around me.

Running out, the Lieutenant used quick hand signals to put us in formation. Blaze took point with her Submachine Gun, and I followed close behind. Other squads were running, and abruptly the sound of Antiaircraft Artillery started up. The thudding of large 40 millimeter flak cannons was pleasant, and a burning bomber spun out of the sky. Off to our side, there was a faint cry of “H-help...” from under a bit of fallen rubble.

Private Silk jogged over, and I followed. A soldier lay there, holding an injured hand. One of his feet was missing and he grimaced, looking up. “A bit of... help, please? I need my gun... help me up!”

Silk looked at him. “Missing a limb... he's a gonner sir. Probably be best if we put him out of his misery...” she said, pulling out a pistol and putting it against his head. My heart leaped into my throat.

“NO!” I shouted, jumping forward. Strong arms held me back, and I stared at the scene. “Dont do it! He just needs a tourniquet! SILK! Save him! He has a brother!”

She sneered up at me. “What are you gonna do? You got me killed too...” she said, and as she turned back I was on the roof, looking at the scene through a scope. She collapsed, and I felt the ache in my shoulder of discharged rounds. I wanted to scream, to cry, to make it stop, but my hands simply chambered another round, shooting Butter Bar through the throat, and then unloading the rest of my clip into Iron Hoof. I looked to my left, at my spotter. Radio Wave smiled at me, thumbs up, the back of his head missing. “Don't worry... it doesn’t hurt” he said, grinning. “Enjoy the trip!” he shouted, before pushing me over the edge.

I screamed as I fell down, down, down into a black void. I screamed my lungs empty, my throat raw. I screamed until I felt like I was going to burst. Blaze's voice whispered “Traitor... you rat bastard...”

Butter Bar just sighed. “I was a teacher. Now I cant get around anymore, can I? You always hated me, thats why you signalled that sniper.”

Shimmer Silk spoke in my ear “I was a MEDIC! But you KNEW that was a sick freak in that tower! I don’t have a gun, I don’t help in fighting, is that it? Is that why you told me to break cover?”

Finally Iron Hoof stood before me. He opened his mouth...

And I saw the moon.

Everything went quiet. My voice stopped its piercing cry. I was in the living room of the house I lived in as a child, and I could see my father. He towered over me, grinning as he put on his helmet, mouth silently working as he picked me up and rubbed his muzzle against mine, speaking more silent words before kissing mom goodbye and walking out.

I knew this day. It was-

“The last time you saw him, was it not Steel Wing?”

I turned. Sitting on the couch was a Pegasus mare with batlike wings. It wasn’t Shadow Step, but she was in dark armor. Slowly, I became aware of something. I was in a dream.

“Not quite a dream... you passed out and are about to wake up.”

I stared at her. “Who... who are you?” I asked, a small foalish voice coming out.

“My name is Dream Dancer. I am one of Princess Luna's Night Patrol. I help her police dreams. And I help her by going into Nightmares.”

Looking around, the scene was frozen. There was a picture of my entire squad on one wall, and behind me was a blasted and scorched town, a tree with bodies tacked to it in the center of a clearing. “This... is a nightmare?” that young voice came out as I toddled over to her. She picked me up and set me on the couch on her lap. “It is, little one.”

I scowled. “Im not little...”

She shook her head. “Yes you are. You are a child again, and your mind is fragile. You long ago chose to embrace madness rather than become numb to the horrors of war. You are paying for that now, but as a result, unlike so many other soldiers, you get the chance to start over. To make friends. You chose to become hurt, and now you may choose to heal.”

I looked back at the body of the soldier trapped under the rubble. “Why did he have to die alone?”

She smiled. “He didn’t. Someone chose to stand his vigil after you left, although you would have to ask someone else who that was. He was at peace when he passed. As was Radio Wave. He never felt a thing you know...”

Tilting my head, I regarded her. “How do you know this?” I asked, a bit suspicious.

“It is our job to ensure that we are aware of all things. Those passing on to their final rest go through the dream world.

“Why are you telling me this?” I pressed, still a bit... upset? No... curious.

“Because you are hurt, badly, and you need to put your past to rest. You need to let go. You will not remember this when you wake up, but you need to choose: Do you give in...” she said, and the room went dark, showing me from behind, hanging from a noose in a dark room while Rainbow looked panicked, trying to lunge at me.

“...or do you try to heal?”

Another light illuminated a scene of me with Rainbow, Pinkie, Mom, Azure Skies, Rainy Days, and others that I recognized.

“Make your choice... when you wake up.”

The world around me faded...

My eyes opened. Leaning over me and my now familiar hospital bed was a concerned Rainbow Dash and Doctor Time Turner, looking around the room.

For a moment, I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to remain quiet, I wanted to sink back. I wanted it all to end.

The next moment I flung my arms around her neck and buried my head in her shoulder, very foalish noises coming out in the form of wet sobs as I held onto her and she held me back. I didn’t stop crying for a very long time.