Fleetwood Rides Again

"Tonight, on 'Fleetwood Rides Again'...."

"A changeling village?"

"Please, help a guy out!"

"That's what you get for callin' me scooter!"

Fleetwood Rides Again Opening Theme

Episode 2: Fleetwood's Law Trouble

The next day, I decided to do some more exploring of the nearby land. Although Harley wasn't with me anymore, I still thought it would be an exciting experience.

I heaved myself out of the massive king-sized canopy bed, and trotted over to the small bathroom connected to the room. I checked my hair, combed it, brushed my teeth, and grabbed a dark red cape I sometimes wore when it rained. With it, I grabbed my stetson hat, and I was ready. I walked down the hall, down the stairs, and out the front doors to the ugly Kingswood Wagon that my father had left me with.

As I turned the key, the old thing started right up. Well, at least it's reliable. I started down the dirt road, out the gates, past the hearse, and over the railroad tracks. I followed the path from which I had came the day earlier, until I got to the fork in the road. This time, I decided to drive toward "Dead Hill Cemetary".

I continued down the path, being jostled out of my seat by potholes, my grip on the steering wheel tightening. At last, I reached the cemetary.

Surprisingly, there was a narrow road branching off the main road. I decided to take it, just for the hell of things. I was about to get moving again, when a battered Ford F-150 came barreling around the corner of the side-path, blowing it's horn at me as it past.

That made a wild thought pop into my head: Did somepony live down there? I HAD to keep going! I idled down the road, looking for signs of wary eyes watching me from the dense brush, because after all, I WAS deep in the Everfree Forest!

To my excitement, I noticed a sign ahead of me. As I got closer, I read it: "Welcome to Everfree". My god, somepony wasn't just living here, there was an entire TOWN!

When I passed the sign, I came around the corner to see a ramshackle main street of sorts, with older pickups and cars parked on each side. I passed a black pegasus as I rolled slowly past one of the first buildings beside me. It was at that moment when I realized something: That was no pegasus, it was a changeling.

I immediately whipped the car into reverse, turned around, and raced off towards where I had come. This was UNBELIEVABLE! I had actually found their hometown! Now I can call the army, and we can destroy them!

But then, an image of Father Night and Chrysalis flashed through my head. I couldn't do that to my best friend.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, changeling officers Steinmetz and Talloway of the Everfree Forest Patrol were enjoying a breakfast of coffee and oatmeal in their squad car, when I came screaming past their speedtrap.

"Theres one," Steinmetz commented, the Impala police car starting with a thunderous roar.

"He was doing around 70," the other added, dumping her coffee out the window, "Let's get 'em!"

The Impala lept off the embankment that sat overlooking the road, turned on it's droning siren, and took off toward me in hot pursuit. Oh shit, I wasn't just being chased by the cops, I was being chased by CHANGELING COPS! I started to give the Kingswood all she had, but it was no good, the car couldn't get enough traction on the dirt surface, and the Impala began to move up.

Around this time, everyone is probably wondering, "Why not just pull over?" Because I don't want my positive energy to be drained, that's why!

I passed the fork in the road, heading out toward the main highway, and, finally, I reached Equestrian Highway 23, the Impala still in pursuit. As I raced onto the pavement, the changelings stopped short.

"He's Smith County's problem now," one concluded, "Maybe Royal County's. Let's go back into town and get some more coffee!"

"No, Steinmetz," Talloway objected, "We didn't go this far to let 'em get away, let's move this thing!"

I was on the main highway, making great time toward Canterlot, when I got a blast from the past! There was that Impala, chasing me again! I decided to take evasive action.

We were nearing an offramp. At the last possible second, I took it. The police cruiser tried to follow, but couldn't make the sharp turn, flew off the elevated offramp, and snagged it'sself in a nearby tree.

The two Changelings stood dazed and confused in their tree, their overhead lights shattered, and their hopes of getting promoted that day crushed.

"Well," Steinmetz sighed in a defeated manner, "We'd better radio in for help."

"I wouldn't even bother trying," Talloway warned, "We lost our antenna..."

A lot of yelling ensued.

After I had lost the tail, I decided to keep going towards Canterlot, and tell Father Night about the changeling village. As soon as I got to the palace, I sprinted into his throne room, interrupting some sort of buisiness.

"You again?" He didn't seem to be very enthuised that I was there. "Jeez, Fleetwood, at least CALL next time you want to come over!"

"I need to tell you something, and it's really important!"

I told him all about the village, it's distopian state, it's police force, and how we could easily destroy it.

He didn't really seem to believe the far-fetched story I was telling him.

"A Changeling Village?" he inquired, "I'll check into it. By the way, what have you been up to lately?"

"Oh, nothing," I lied, "Just fixing my old place up, exploring the land, stuff like that."

"Shouldn't you be at work?"

Then I remembered: I didn't have a job.

"Actually, I'm in between jobs right now, do you think you could employ me?"

"Well, I don't know-"

"PLEASE, MAN!" I begged, kneeling before him, "Can you help a guy out?"

Night seemed interested in my capabilities as a member of the royal staff. "What are your qualifications?"

"Well," I began, "I've done some racing tournaments, I can lift heavy things sometimes, I have good manners, and I hold the utmost respect for mares!" As I smiled eagerly, I couldn't help but let out a squee of excitement at the thought of working for my best friend.

"Well," he began, rubbing his chin again, "Luna doesn't like to drive that much....Maybe you could be her chauffeur?" He then stopped, and gave me a cold, hard glare through his glasses. "Don't let me see you two doing anything weird in that car, you hear me?"

He definitely knew about my feelings for Luna. I promised, and he handed me a black suit and a black military commander-esque cap. This was going to be great! I was going to get to spend time with the mare I love, for MONEY! I quickly went to a small bathroom near the throneroom to change into the uniform, and emerged, looking like the butler from some Alfred Hitchcock film. I did a little bow to try and look proper.

He snickered at my attempt, and then pointed me toward Luna's room. As I walked up, I noticed that the door was closed. I could hear some rustling inside.

"Excuse me, Miss Luna?" I asked softly, knocking gingerly as I spoke, "Are you ready to go out today?"

"Who's there?" I heard a muffled response, and more rustling.

"It's Fleetwood, I'm your new chauffeur!"

"Oh, I'll be out in a minute!"

` She led me out the front steps to a waiting Ford Thunderbird Landau, probably one of the most beautiful ones I have ever seen, black with gold trim. As we got into the car, Luna briefed me on where I was to drive her.

"Alright," she explained, "We're only going to the laundromat, because, apparently, it's MY turn to do the laundry for the fourth week IN A ROW!" She paused to take some deep breaths, she had gotten herself worked up over the issue. "Alright, let's go."

As we past where I had parked my Kingswood, I noticed a police car was repeatedly RAMMING IT!

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY CAR, YOU LOUSY EXCUSE FOR A PONY?" I roared as we drove past. Inside the police car was a very familiar short pony.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CALLIN' ME SCOOTER!" he jeered, giving the station wagon a final shove, and activating the alarm.

"Miss Luna?" I asked Luna once I had calmed down, "Can I stop by the police station to report that..." Quick, what's an upscale version of 'asshole'? "....Imbecile?"

"Sure," she replied in a very friendly manner, "It will be no trouble to me at all! And by the way," she added, chuckling at my attempt to be 'proper', "You don't have to call me Miss Luna, you know."

And, we were off! The Landau drove like a dream, the traffic was fine, and Luna was so interesting to talk to! Downtown Canterlot was a sight to see during late morning: Merchants peddled their goods in the market, upper-class citizens strolled up and down the streets, and the sun shone brightly on the hood of the Thunderbird. Finally, we reached the police station.

"Would you like to come with me?" I asked Luna, who was at the moment staring across the street.

"Oh, no thank you, I'll just wait here." I didn't know why, but I thought her mind was somewhere else.

"Alright then, be back in a minute!"

I hurried into the police station, up to a large desk, where a middle-aged mare sat, her grey and brown mane tied up in a bun.

"Excuse me, sir," she greeted in a nasally, whiny, steriotypically-secretariat voice, "May I help you?"

"Uh, yes, I would like to file a complaint. One of your officers rammed my car for no apparent reason!"

"Alright, sir, wait a moment while I process the complaint on the computer."

****

As she began to punch keys on her computer, I grew curious of what the entire station looked like. I went around the corner, and heard muffled voices from behind a door. As I put my ear up to it to try and listen in on the conversation, it turned out the door was completely shut after all. I fell over as it swung in, to reveal a pony in a police dress uniform, a needle in his leg. This was Commisioner Hermann Randolph. Beside him lay the Great and Powerful Trixie, who had been asking for money in exchange for the Heroin.

"GET OUT!" they roared, and I raced off toward the lobby, and out the front door. I sprinted to the Thunderbird, Luna being quite surprised at my hurry, and got in.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concern clouding her aqua gaze.

"I'll tell you about it in a minute!" I hastily replied, starting the car, "First, let's get a little bit down the road!" I shoved the car into drive, and took off.

Randolph sat on the floor, shocked that someone had seen his dirty little secret. Soon, he called brothers and Officers Wilcox and Flegel into his office.

"Hello, you two," he said cooly, "I have a special mission for you." He reached into his desk, and pulled out a picture of me. "Arrest this pony at ALL COSTS."

"Why should we?" Wilcox countered, "I know that pony, he used to be my boss when I worked as a mechanic in Ponyville. Mr. Brougham would NEVER do ANYTHING wrong!"

"Yeah!" Flegel added, "I mean, I've arrested him for small things, like when a barfight got out of hand, but he'd never do something worth the whole police force-"

"Listen, you two," Randolph growled, "I don't have time to play games. If you arrest him, and be good little officers of the law, you'll get a raise. And if you don't catch the son of a bitch, I'll have your badges! Now, GET GOING!"

The two officers scrambled out of the room, and out to their cruiser. As they did this, Trixie re-emerged from her hiding spot, a closet.

"You REALLY think those nimrods can catch him?" she chuckled, "If Trixie were you, she'd call in assassins!"

"Relax, my dear Trixie," Randolph replied, "If we REALLY want him caught, then we'll need exactly what you said: ASSASSINS!" He picked up his desk phone, and began to call a number that he had only used when activists had gotten out of hand in the '70's. "Landau," he said grimly, "I have an assignment for you and your friends."

To Be Continued....