Fleetwood Rides Again

Fleetwood's Law Trouble, Part Two

After the stop at the police station, we continued to a laundromat, near the racetrack where the Wonderbolts Rally takes place. I walked inside, carrying the hamper myself, and dumped them into the washing machine. When we were finished, we both got back into the car. I was about to put the key in the ignition, but Luna used her magic to stop me.

I was confused. "What's that for?"

Luna gave me a cold stare.

"Something went on in that police station, you promised you'd tell me about it!"

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you later-"

"I can sit here all day, Fleetwood."

"Okay, I'll tell you NOW." I wiped some sweat from my forehead. "I saw the Police Commisioner shooting Heroin."

Luna gasped in shock, I knew she was gonna do that. "Fleetwood, this is BIG! We've gotta go tell my dad, quick!"

"You're right," I agreed, "Let's go."

****

We were near the train station, when I noticed a black Lincoln was following us. I made several turns on purpose, just to see if it would follow. It did every time.

"Luna," I whispered, pointing to the Lincoln, which was now trying to pass, "We've got company."

"Alright Berry, load the Dillinger, it's showtime!"

This was gonna be Landau's biggest payday EVER! As a bounty hunter, he had made big bucks bringing in high-level criminals and plugging leaks for the Commisioner, but this topped them all! He was gonna get $5000 Bits for the sucker, dead or alive! But, just as his assistant Berry Punch was in firing position, the Thunderbird turned!

And the chase began!

Our two cars raced down Arlen Avenue, up Sterling Hill, and around tight corners. Even though I was terrified, I had to admit, it was FUN!

"I've had enough of this!" Landau railed, "Berry Punch, fire away!"

The mare's Thompson MG let out a sloppy burst of fire, not a single bullet landing on the Thunderbird. Landau slapped her for inaccuracy.

"You could've killed somebody! What the hell is WRONG WITH YOU!"

"S-sorry, boss!" she wimpered, "It's hard to shoot when you're plastered!"

As all of this was happening, a damaged black Impala police cruiser, missing it's radio antenna, was speeding toward Canterlot at full speed. Steinmetz and Talloway were intent on catching me, no matter what the cost.

And, as it turned out, Wilcox and Flegel weren't too far away either. As we turned onto Capitol Street, I caught a glimps of a Dodge Monaco barreling down the road toward us.

"WATCH IT!" Flegel shouted, grabbing the steering wheel from Wilcox at the last moment. The Monaco swerved, barely avoiding hitting our car, and rolled, over, and over, and over, until it landed, right-side up, radiator steaming.

"Aw, shit!" he sighed, pounding the dashboard with one hoof, "Why does this always happen to us?"

"Because you always take the wheel from me when I'm driving!" Wilcox replied angrily, giving his brother a slap, "You're lucky they built these Monaco's like tanks, if we were in an import, we'd be DEAD!" Amazingly, after rolling five times, the cruiser started right up, and continued the pursuit, the temperature guage through the roof.

Landau was about to PIT maneuver me, when he got a phone call. It was Randolph.

"Oh, uh, HI, Commisioner Randolph!" he stammered, trying to drive with one hoof while clutching the car phone, "Why are you calling?"

"DID YOU GET THAT CAR YET?!"

"Uh, no, sir, we're still in pursuit, but don't worry! They're in the most confusing part of town, and we have police assistance, it won't be long now!"

"We're running in circles, Fleetwood!" Luna cried, "We have to lose them SOMEHOW!"

"Hold on," I reassured her, "I have an idea!"

Randolph was still on the phone with Landau, but heard nothing, except for the squeal of tires and the rattling of gunshots.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW, LANDAU?"

"We're following awful close, OH, there he goes! Into-Safecolt Field?!"

Randolph laughed giddily, "Safecolt Field...." He passed out in shock, landing with a thud, and concerning his secratery.

"Are you alright in there, Commisioner?"

It was the bottom of the ninth, the Fillydelphia Fillies were tied with the Canterlot Colts. "Flawless" Ray Fuller was about to make a pitch, when he heard the blaring of a car horn come from the far end of the stadium.

****

I raced onto the field, blowing a warning to the players as they scrambled out of my way. "Oh, look, Wilcox!" Flegel gasped, "There's a baseball game!"

"You're right!" Wilcox agreed, "Let's stop and watch them play!"

Landau was horrified! First, the maniac he was chasing had led him into Safecolt Field, second, the Monaco in front of him, without warning, had begun to stop! He tried to swerve away, but his balding tires were no use on the turf, and he rear-ended the police cruiser, causing his bumper and hood to come off.

As we neared the middle of the playing field, Luna realized a key factor I had forgotten:

"YOU FOOL, THERE'S NO OTHER EXIT!"

"Then, let's make one!"

I raced up, into the stands, game-goers barely dodging our car, and through a skybox. I charged blindly onto a walkway overlooking the vast expanse of the fancy restaraunt that took up part of the stadium. The car sped off the walkway, and landed safely on top of a table, crushing it.

"Excuse me, sir!" a waiter called from across the room, "Will that be a table for two?"

I nodded, "Take our order when you have the time!"

Luna looked at me, disgusted. "After all you and I drestroyed, after all we've been through, we're just going to sit here and EAT LUNCH?!"

I dipped my head innocently. "Well, didn't all of that make you hungry?"

"Good point!" she chuckled, cheering right up. After that, we talked some more, and we ordered two Club Sandwiches with a Para-SPRITE! and a Coca-Cola. It was a nice 'date', but after a while ,we really had to get going, and I drove the Thunderbird right out the front door. You should've seen the look on everypony's face!

As we stopped at a four-way intersection near the palace, I thought we were in the clear.

How much more wrong could I be?

From one street came Landau, from another came Wilcox and Flegel, and on the third, lay Streinmetz and Talloway, all with engines running, and ready to go.

"Well," I muttered, "We're fucked...."

I took off toward the palace as fast as I could, the three cars in hot pursuit. They each had different strateges: Landau and Berry would shoot, Steinmetz and Talloway would try to spin us out, and Wilcox and Flegel would just blither about, and get in their way. Eventually, we reached the gates to the Royal Gardens, which made matters even more difficult: We had to dodge statues, avoid losing traction on the grass, and worry about the three cars chasing us.

Landau, who's car weighed more thean Celestia herself, was having the most trouble. He clipped bushes, slid all over the soil, and even ran over a statue of Discord! His reign of terror was ended by Steinmetz and Talloway shooting ahead, but losing control, and causing all three cars to wreck.

We reached the palace, and ran into the throneroom.

"HERMANN RANDOLPH IS NOT WHO YOU THINK HE IS!" I shouted, only to come face-to-face with Randolph himself.

"I thought you'd come here," he chuckled, "I thought you'd try to ruin my image! But NOW you're gonna get it!" He then drew his Revolver, and pointed straight at us.

"Luna," I said grimly, "If we don't make it, i just wanted to say the most cleche' movie line ever before we go: I've always lov-"

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" My love message was interrupted by Father Night's booming voice. "I turn my back for 2 hours, and HALF THE GARDEN'S BEEN DESTROYED! And as for YOU, Hermann, why are you pointing that little gun of your's at my daughter and my friend for?"

Randolph immediately dropped his pistol, and walked over to Father Night. "Fleetwood wants to take my place, so he made up a bogus rumour about me shooting heroin! Can you believe that?"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" I thundered over him, "You actually ARE doing Heroin, and I can prove it!"

"LIES, OUTRIGHT LIES, YOUR MAJESTY!"

"Enough!"

As soon as Father Night ordered them to settle down, they all did as told. Father Night gave Randolph a hard look.

"Hermann," he said slowly, "Are you sure your telling the truth?"

"Oh, absolutely!"

"Then you wouldn't mind if I....Looked you in the eye?"

"Sure, whatever that means...."

Clearly, Randolph didn't know Father Night's greatest power. If he took off his glasses, he could manipulate ANYPONY by staring at them. He took off his glasses, and gave Randolph the coldest, most penetrating glare I have ever seen. After a few seconds, Randolph's eyes turned from their usual dusty green to a goldenrod color.

"Now, Hermann," Night continued calmly, "Do you shoot heroin?"

"Yes," he replied in an almost robotic tone, "I take a shot in the morning, a shot at lunch, and a shot in the middle of the night."

"Are you aware that this will cost you your job as Police Commisioner?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then, by the power of Harmony, I strip you of your badge. Get your things from the police station, and leave."

"Yes, sir."

Randolph marched out of the room, and out of the palace.

Then, Night turned to me.

"Thanks for exposing him, Fleet."

"Oh, it's nothing, man!"

"No, it's not," he countered, "And as a reward, I'm giving you a raise!"

"YES!"

"A 50 cent raise."

"Oh, come on!"

"Well, I've had enough fun for today," Luna yawned, trotting away, "I'm gonna go take a nap!"

I waved goodbye, and said goobye to Father Night, but  when I reached my beaten-up Kingswood, it's alarm still blaring, it wouldn't start.

"Hey, Night!" I shouted to the black alicorn, "My car off died, can you help me out?"

"Sure!"

In a flash of light, next to me stood my old Coupe Deville, a battered, beaten 1977 model with a shredded vinyl top.

"What is this?" I asked him as he walked up.

"It's your car!" he replied cheerfully, grinning in a troll-like manner, "Don't you like it?"

"Why couldn't you have fixed it?"

"Fleetwood," he sighed, "You need to learn how to take care of your cars, instead of wrecking them." He handed me the keys. "Enjoy!"

As I drove home that night, I noticed several design flaws: The cigarette lighter didn't work, the cruise control didn't work, there was straw in the interior, and the sunroof wouldn't go up! But, as I remembered the fun times I had with this car in some of my past adventures, It still felt great to be driving the old girl again, like revisiting an old friend, and I couldn't help but wonder what NEW adventures I'd have while driving her....

"Next time, on, 'Fleetwood Rides Again'...."

"I STRUCK IT RICH, MAN!"

"All that wealth goes to a pony's head."

"If I were you, I'd quit flashin' your wallet around, if you keep doin' that kinda stuff, you're gonna get mugged, kid."

'Fleetwood Rides Again' Ending Theme