Eric Jewburns (AKA: The Living Tombstone) is a stallion destined to die, the big clock above his head even says so, unless he can figure out how to seduce a certain mare who loves hands. Then everypony dies. Also, Trixie! why not?

Warning: This is satire. It's meant to be offensive to many people. It's also something I did in like 2 hours of writing... if that. I haven't read over it once, nor have I asked anyone to proof read it. I never really intended to either.

Also, it follows the song "September" by The Living Tombstone because it was written at the last second for a fanfic writing contest. You can see the song here: