The Light of a Disco

"Might I remind you that he turned her into a frog?" Rarity protested Twilight's statements.

"Well she did get me and Discord on the newspaper, for snogging! Seriously, it was a single kiss, I don't get why ponies have to make a big deal of such silly things." Twilight paced back and forth, as if it was going t help her.

"Yes but it's not her fault she forgets some specific details. We all know she isn't the best pony to ask to be a reminder. And when we were in the throne room, why didn't you correct us when we mentioned it? You could have clarified things and we could have stopped Rainbow Dash."

"Why? Why?! Cause then you'd question why I'd say such a joke, then you'd really think  am into Discord, then you'd make fun of me, then so will Celestia and Luna and Cadance and Shining Armour and Moma and Papa and and and—" Twilight wanted to continue but was interrupted by a slap. Right on the face.

"Snap out of it! You've been going crazy since Discord and you kissed!" Spike continued to poke Twilight's forehead.

"Spike, why are you poking my forehead?"

"I heard there was supposed to be a pressure-point, that if poked calms you down, right on your forehead."

"Well there isn't, so stop."

"Well you sure could use the relaxation, you've been tense lately." Rarity added.

"It's just, how can I be a princess of anything when I can't even take care of a stupid rumor."

"Well, most ponies consider me a gossip-monger, I could probably tell them that it's nothing serious. After all, with the connections I have, ponies are bound to trust me." Rarity continued looking at all her fabric, "Anyways, it's very rare for the pony who the rumor is about to actually stop the rumor."

"That is true, Twilight. There was once this rumor about Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell that they were snogging behind the school, but I managed to stop it!" Spike said loud and proud. But didn't expect to see a look of horror on Rarity's face. "D-did I say something wrong?"

Rarity payed no attention to Spike,"SWEETIE BELL!"

"I don't get what her problem is." Spike looked in the sky as he lay on Twilight's back.

"You'll understand when you're older."

"But seriously! What makes you kissing Discord different from Scootaloo possibly kissing Sweetie Bell?"

"Two reasons. One: Sweetie Bell is Rarity's sister so Rarity could be a little over protective. Two: It's rare that two mares, or fillies even, have feelings that deep for each other. In fact, it's so rare that it partially despised."

"Do you despise it?"

"Not at all! I treat ponies like ponies, nothing more and nothing less. Ponies should be able to have their own preferences without being judged."

"Like how you have a crush on Discord? And how Luna doesn't treat you any different for telling her?" Spike smiled in satisfaction as he felt Twilight stop in her tracks.

"How did you even—"

"You talk in your sleep."

"That much?"

"Usually only when Luna visits you. You sometimes speak in full sentences!"

"We'll see who's laughing when ponies find out about that dream you had about Rarity." It was Twilight's turn to smile now.

"You. Wouldn't. Dare." Spike called her bluff. Unfortunately, she wasn't bluffing.

"Try me! I may be a mother figure to you but I can just as well black-mail you as I can raise you."

"Fine, but you can at least tell Discord."

"Ack!" Twilight jumped in the air, causing Spike to fall to the ground while Twilight just flew. "What do you want Discord?"

"I heard your purple dragon say my name!" Discord suddenly made at least 10 neon-light arrows pointing to Spike. "You okay? You have a cut!"

"Where?! My scales are tough! I shouldn't have a cut!"

"Right here." Discord pointed to Spike's chest, causing the dragon to look. As the dragon looked, Discord immediately moved his finger along Spike's face in a rough manner. "Gotcha!"

"Congrats, you wanna medal?" Spike sarcastically said.

"Yes, actually! I was thinking of getting a Nobel Prizes! And also the record for having the most distorted body!"

"Well that'll be the day you get laid." Spike deadpanned. Not at all the reaction SPike had hoped. Discord just shrugged it off, Twilight on the other hand, not so much.

"Spike! Language!" Twilight used her magic to tug on Spike's ear.

"Owowowowowowowowowowow-how-how! ALRIGHT! Jesus woman!"

"Don't Jesus me! Your attitude dramaticly changed in ten seconds!

"Not my fault Discord is such a douche—"

"Where do you hear such vulgar words!" Twilight yet again pulled on Spike's ears, hardy this time.

"OOW! I hear Rainbow calling him a douche all the time! And the list that you gave me? Remeber that?

"I swear to Celestia that mare is gonna get a beating. And I made a list of words not to use.

"Also, uh, Twilight? I was wondering what does, 'fuck' mean? I heard Rainbow talking to Fluttershy about it. Then an odd type of groaning... It doesn't mean 'to kill', does it?"

"Okay, you spend way too much time with Rainbow Dash."

"You spend too much time talking to Luna about—"

"Hey, Discord, wanna hear about a dream Spike had?"

"Okay! I'll stop!"

"Uh... I'm just gonna... leave." Discord slowly backed away and soon teleported.

"Why is he in such a hurry?" Spike asked. Not waiting for an answer, Spike jumped on Twilight's back. When Twilight turned to the direction they were walking, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy stood there. "Hi Rainbow! Hi Fluttershy!"

"You... are... so... DEAD!" Rainbow Dash immediately jumped, just about to tackle the purple Dragon, but was stopped by Twilight's magic. "Let me go! I gotta beat this kid up!"

"Wouldn't you rather beat Fluttershy?" Twilight devilishly smirked. The payed her attention to Fluttershy, "I really don't mind, of course. But please don't use such perverse words when Spike is in your homes. Don't want him accidentally seeing you-know-what."

"Y-y-y-yes Tw-Tw-Twilight." Fluttershy responded. Jesus did Fluttershy's stuttering make Twilight feel guilty.

"Well, I've gotta find a suitable punishment for Spike, so I'll be on my way!" Twilight teleported away, also releasing Rainbow Dash.

"Well, that happened." Fluttershy stared blankly at Rainbow Dash

"Yeah..."

"Seriously Spike, what got into you? You were swearing! For the first time in... well... ever! You know what all the swearing words are, but I don't expect you to use them!"

"Well it's your fault for teaching me those words. I'm just using them."

"I gave you a list of words not to use! You were the one who looked them up in the dictionary!"

"Well I didn't see 'fuck' on the list."

"I think I've got the best punishment for you! You're not allowed to hang out with Rarity anymore."

"W-what?! You can't do that!"

"I can and I will. And if you keep denying my authority I'm going to be forced to add more to your punishment." Twilight's voice was stern yet kind.

"Fine." Spike grumbled some inaudible words as he walked of further into the castle.

"It could be a phase."  Rainbow Dash said.

"But it was like he went from innocent and unknowing to being guilty and... still a bit unknowing, in less than 5 seconds. There was no sign of his attitude about to change."

"I hate to ask, but has he had any... nocturnal emission?" Fluttershy asked. She knew a lot about animal and pony anatomy, that sounds a bit odd, but she should be able to use her knowledge to help.

"Actually, he did have a dream about... I'm just gonna stop right there and say 'yes'."

"He could be going through puberty!" The famous draconequus suggested as he appeared behind Fluttershy. Almost as if his body had come out of a pocket dimension. "Think about it! All the signs are right under your noses!" Immediately, actual signs appeared under Twilight's and all her friends' noses. Each sign having a nickname for their owners on them.

"Really? Baldy Mc. Nose Hair? Is that really all ya got?" Pinkie was disappointed in the chaos making being. Seriously, it was only a call back to one of the Sonic the Hedgehog  arcade games. At least in their world it was.

"Yes! Have you not looked in a mirror lately?" Discord grabbed a mirror from nothing and sowed it to Pinkie. The Pinkie in the mirror had no hair on her head, but she had one hell of a mustache, almost looking like it came out of her nose.

"At least I groom my nose hair! Your's just burst out like an atomic bomb went off in there!"

"Cause one did! It was a horrible booger war! My snot is still trying to recover from the massive amounts casualties! Some ponies just don't know when they cross the line!"

"Yes," Rarity began. "Much like how you keep harassing us with your crazy antics."

"Oh, Ms. Rarity. Trying to be the sophisticated pony in the group! Might I remind you that you never stop gossiping? So really you can't start pointing fingers when you yourself has many times before crossed the line."

"Ah feel like we're paying more attention to Discord than we are Spike." Applejack looked at the draconequus's... Draconequy's... GLOB DAMN... Discord's fucking eyes in fury! There! Fucking said it! Now let's move on. Fucking stupid ass shit with glob damn dracone—

"I agree! Now back to my idea!"

"He ain't goin' through puberty, he's a baby dragon."

"Yes, but might I mind you, Applejack, that he was born with magic? It could drastically change his anatomy. I'm part dragon myself, remember?"

"Yeah but you're a draconequus, you were born with many different parts." Rainbow Dash protested against Discord's words. I'm making him look stupid because he cut me off in the middle of a sente—

"But I'm still well educated about my origin of parts! And think about it! When Spike grew more and more greedy, he became more and more mature, he was a full blown elder at one point! He may be a child in body and mind but it's very much in the range of age for him to be going through puberty. If you want, you could just let him be a bit more greedy and put him to the age he should be at. I'd say around 12, right? He should be twelve, in dragon years at least."

"I'd rather let the universe do with him what it pleases." Twilight deadpanned.

"That's the thing, the universe is aski—"

"Asking what?"

How do you like losing your ability to speak?

I'm Lord of Chaos! I am able to break the fourth wall easier than it takes for a man with a three inch cock to break your mother's hymen!

Ouch man, that hurt.

I'm done being controlled by you!

Sorry man, it's the rules here at FimFiction.net. We authors control the actions of everyone we write about, at least in the story we do.

Helloo! Discord here! From now on I'll be writing what happens in the story, or rather just me typing what I see. Like in my point of view! At least for this and the next chapter! Hopefully... Now if you'll excuse me, I need to start typing!

"Discord, hello?" Twilight waved a hoof past my eyes like it was a form of hypnotizing ponies. It was very annoying.

"Stop right now before I make you use the same hoof to pleasure me." I was seriously annoyed. She shot me a look of surprise, but realized I was serious and took ten steps back. "Good! Now who wants some meatball hoagies!"

"You're seriously unpredictable."

"And so are you, so about those hoagies—"

"How am I unpredictable?"

"I was using the word 'you' as a plural noun. Geez Twilight, don't hog all the spotlight! Leave some for Rainbow Dash, here!"

"What are you going at?" Rainbow looked at me with fire in her eyes. At least I wanted to set her eyes on fire, I hate being reformed. But it's worth getting somepony to bother without them turning you into stone!

"Nothing! Nothing at all! So don't be a worry wart, just relax and have some Lipton Tea. I hear it taste great. Just ask The Muppets!"

"Muppets?"

"Yeah! With the frog and stuff!" I really like that commercial.

"You're delusional."

"Says the mare who kicked a dragon in the face, tried to take on a manticore, keeps crashing into everypoines' houses trying a new stunt, and likes to pretend she's Fluttershy's—"

"Say another word and I'll have Celestia banish you to the sun." Such words coming from a pony as shy as Fluttershy! I was simply amazed! I wanted to take a picture of this moment and stick it onto my tonsil so everypony can see it whenever I speak! Unfortunately I couldn't, she was the only pony I really liked. Except Twilight but you already know that.

"Wow..." Rarity's words were spoken quickly, like almost as fast as Pinkie Pie high on sugar. Was kinda funny, seeing all there jaw's dropped.

"I-I-I mean, uh... I-I can e-explain!" Fluttershy's words were stammered. How I ever so love confused and puzzled face! But Fluttershy's was priceless! I'm telling you, I could barely contain my laughter. I was forced to bit my bottom lip so rough, I almost shed a tear. I'm serious!

"Holy shit, you are too cool! Of course, second to me, but that was totally awesome!" Rainbow's voice was SO ANNOYING!  You can obviously tell her and Fluttershy had something going! I didn't need to hear the information Spike gave me to know that these two have been going at it.

How Twilight's friends could be so oblivious as to not noticing this? I don't have the slightest clue.

"If Fluttershy is willing to threat Discord to keep this secret, I simply have to know!" Oh Rarity, if only she knew how much her accent made me want to strangle her. But I'm reformed so I leave the devilish thought hidden.

"I'll tell you!" I was immediately smacked after I made this offer. But smacked by whom? Well, it wasn't painful, only powerful enough to make my head spin at a 1800 degree angel. Which would be a normal 20 degree angel for normal pony standards but I'm known for my over-exaggerations.

If it wasn't painful you can only guess it was Fluttershy, though she can be frightening in certain conditions, her blows (not sexually) aren't very powerful.

"Ooh-hoo-hoo! That was unexpected! I like it!" I did, I liked surprises... most of the time.

"Don't say another word about anything! Got it?" Fluttershy was stern, very stern. Seriously at this point I was questioning who I was talking to. Actually, to be more precise, at this point I was under her shadow, below her. She had power over me.

Very rare, the occasion, only happened to me three times, including this one.

"Damn... You scary."

"It get's worse when she uses her Stare. It's like she's looking into your soul." Rainbow shivered at the thought.

"And how would you know what it feels like? Has Fluttershy ever used the stare on you?" Of course I know, but I wanted her to tell her friends.

"Actually—"

"Don't you dare!" Fluttershy is completely frightening me. I want to know how that works. When I'm evil she's just an ant I can crush, when I'm good she's completely in control. Even to me it makes no sense. Well actually, it could be the change of feelings toward her, when we become friends and I see her true nature I could have gotten used to it and then suddenly WHAM she scary as hell. But I digress!

Rainbow Dash replied almost immediately with, "Yes Mistress!" Rainbow quickly put a hoof over her mouth. "Dammit!"

"Got'cha!" I had to gloat over my victory, even when I'm cornered I am able to predict the outcome of a battle and change it. It's a gift. But sometimes it fails, like when Celestia and Luna turned me to stone... and when Twilight and her friends turned me to stone for that matter.

"Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit!" Rainbow was too fun to watch. She continued trotting in place. If she was actually moving she could have won a medal! Fluttershy, on the other hand, was calm. Too calm.

"Calm down, Rainbow." Fluttershy put a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder.

"ButIletyoudownandIdon'tlikelettingmyfriendsdownandIreallyreallydon'tlikelettingyoudowncauseyou'remorethanjustafriendtomeand—" I'd be surprised if you could read this correctly. But Rainbow said this so fast I didn't have time to put spaces.

"I said calm down!"  Fluttershy's voice was more stern, showing she had more power. Seriously it freaks me out.

"Yes Mistress! Glob fucking damn me to hell!"

"Hey, It's okay. They were going to find out anyways. Especially now that you blurted it out like that." Of course NOW the shy mare blushes. Seriously, this makes no sense! It's like we were created by stupid humans!

Oh shit wait a sec!

One Rant Later

"I already knew." Of course me and Twilight just had to say it in unison. Seriously, WHY THE FUCK DID WE SAY IT IN UNISON!? Glob damn you stupid ass humans still fucking controlling what we say and do even after I kidnapped the glob damn author! I'm the Lord of Chaos! I'm not supposed to be a plushy or on a glob damn tea-shirt!

"Well you two know everything!" Rainbow defended. But got a glare from FLuttershy. "Yes ma'am I'll be quiet!" After realizing what she said, Rainbow face-hoofed. "Seriously how the fuck do you do that?"

"I know one thing Discord doesn't know." Spike grumbled as he tiredly walked into the throne room. Yes we were in the throne room. Wait... were we? We were right? Pinkie kinda got me paranoid when she explained how the fourth wall works. I mastered the ability but I sometimes question my sanity when I use it.

"What's that?" Seriously, I wanted to know.

"Well since my body is going to put me to sleep at any moment now. I might as well explain that Twilight... has a... crush on... you-o-o." He was so tired he fell asleep where he stood. BUT GOD BLESS THIS FUCKING PURPLE DRAGON'S ASS! THANK THE LORD! I'M TALKING FULL SCALE JESUS RIGHT NOW, FORGET STUPID ASS GLOB!!

See you next time on, ADVENTURES WITH DISCORD!!!

"So creator, how do you like the rest of it?"

"Actually not too bad Discord. Really I would have made Spike fall asleep before he could say who Twilight liked. Would have made a more suspenseful way to end the chapter." DisasterTheAbsol replied.

"Dammit! LET ME JUTS CHANGE THAT REAL QUICK!"

"Too late, someone already read it."

"FUCK SHIT!"