Sweetie Belle Can't Find Her Socks.by Super TrampolineChaptersDictionaryPonyville LakeThe Canterhorn CavernsLaundry HamperThe BridgeChimneyRarity's Trash Bin on Nightmare NightRainbow Dash's HouseCheerilee's GardenQuills and SofasTrixie's HatPlans For the Death StarA Batpony's Fruit SaladSufjan Stevens Pictures on DerpibooruApple Bloom's Bow ClosetThe Ponyville YellowpagesAndy Price's Vendor Booth at Everfree Northwest 2017Northgate MarketMy RoomMissing SocksDownstairsThe MoonFluffle PuffA Pile of HayCheesecakeUnder the Hood of the Author's 2007 Hyundai Santa FeStarlight Glimmer's Sock Drawer [S5 Spoilers]Fluttershy's FishbowlSuper Trampoline's CarDictionarySweetie Belle looked in the dictionary the Crusaders kept in their clubhouse. It had "Sock", the word, but not her socks in it. It also had Rainbow-colored hairs on it. Sweetie realized this must have been the book Scootaloo had used to knock out Rainbow Dash so she could cut her mane and make it into a wig. Crafty. thought Sweetie Belle, making a mental note to never cross Scootaloo. Author's Note Ponyville LakeSweetie Belle hooked up her rebreather and dived into the Ponyville lake. She wasn't sure why she needed a rebreather--the lake was only about 20 feet deep--but she felt safer having it. She also felt a squid wrap a sucker-studded leg around her own, ready for a meal. She bludgeoned the squid with her dictionary, which made it jet away in fear and ink, and kept on swimming. Alas, while she found a cool shipwreck and plenty of plunder, she found no socks. So she got out, kicked off her flippers, and took a nap on the towel she had brought. Author's Note The Canterhorn CavernsThis mountain sure has a lot of holes in it, thought Sweetie Belle as she threaded her way through the gravel and rocks that littered the cave floor. I bet this would be a great place to dump somepony you never wanted to hear from again. Alas, nopony has dumped my socks here. Somewhere far off, Chrysalis hatched an evil plan, and a few larvae hatched too. Author's Note A popular vacation destination for pink alicorns. Laundry HamperIt was laundry day in the Belle household, and Sweetie figured perhaps her mother had picked the socks up, supposing them dirty. So Sweetie rummaged around in the dirty laundry hamper. Luckily for her, it was fairly empty, because pony's don't wear many clothes. So empty it was, in fact, that it did not even have Sweetie Belle's pink socks. Drats! she thought. Author's Note The BridgeThere were several bridges in Ponyville under which Sweetie Belle's socks might be found. Right now however, she was not under the bridge downtown. Rather, she was looking under the bridge that led to Fluttershy's cottage. She found a small creek and a family of otters, but no socks. She tried to figure out how she could make a pun about looking under the "otter bridge", but realized she wasn't really a large enough fan of bad puns for it to be worth the effort. So she went to hang out with the crusaders instead. Author's Note Why, I crossed that bridge just the otter day! ChimneyMaybe I can get a chimney-sweep cutie mark, thought Sweetie Belle as she poked her head around inside the fireplace. Then again, do I want to clean these places of soot the rest of my life? Probably not. Not only were there no pink socks in the chimney, there were no black ones either, which is strange because any sock that enters a frequently-used chimney will take the color of soot and ash pretty fast. Thus for the chimney part of her search, Sweetie looked for any color of sock. And still, she found naught. She did, however, learn to think about the fact that not everypony gets a cutey mark they both like and feel represents what they're good at. Sweetie was in fact quite happy she hadn't gotten a cutie mark. She couldn't imagine cleaning out flues six hours a day. Author's Note Perhaps Apple Bloom should try instead. Rarity's Trash Bin on Nightmare NightSweetie Belle always found her sister's career choice more than a bit odd, considering ponies generally walked around naked. However, when you're the only seamstress who does custom orders in a town of five thousand, the customers do add up. Especially during the later weeks of October, when everypony suddenly realizes they want their own cool costume. Inasmuch, Rarity was usually nowhere to be seen Nightmare Night, as she generally pulled several consecutive all-nighters in the days leading up to the holiday. This almost lead to a falling out between Pinkie and Rarity one year, but that's another story for another time. In this story, Sweetie was currently dumpster diving in the trash bin behind the Carousel Boutique. Rarity threw out a lot of extra scraps as she made ponies's costumes, and Sweetie suspected she might have accidentally thrown out her pink socks. However, as she rifled through the extra fabric and other odds and ends, she found no pink articles of clothing meant to cover her hooves and pasterns. She did find some googly eyes, though, and as everypony knows, googly eyes make everything better. Author's Note Happy All Hallow's Eve, Everypony! Rainbow Dash's HouseOne of the joys of Wednesdays for Rainbow Dash was that she only had the afternoon shift managing the weather. Inasmuch right now she was sleeping in with gusto. A gentle tapping was drowned out by her snoring. Then the tapping turned to knocking. Then the knocking became pounding. Then her window shattered. "GAHHHH!" she screamed, wings flaring out as sharp shards lodged themselves into the nearby floor. "Oops. Sorry Rainbow Dash!" "Ughhh. Wait. Is that... Sweetie Belle?" "Yeah. I'm Sweetie. Can I can come in?" Rainbow attempted to get out of bed, but instead merely rolled until she fell out and onto her back. "Oops. On second thought, door should be unlocked. Um, yeah, come in." The knob turned and the unicorn filly trotted nonchalantly into the floating house. "Cool crib you got here!" Rainbow pawed at the air from her place on the floor, not making much effort to right herself."I'm still dreaming aren't I? You're walking on clouds. This is what I get for eating too much pizza." "Oh yeah, Twilight cast a cloud-walking spell on me. I'm good for several hours!" Rainbow eventually managed to shift onto her hooves. "Okay, but how'd you even get up here?" "Oh, Pinkie let me borrow a ladder." Dash groggily made her way to the broken window and craned her head out, seeing that indeed, there was a bright red ladder at least 150 feet long leaning against the puffy foundation of her house. Was it enchanted too? "How does... why does... wait, how did you--know what, nevermind. Better not to ask." Sweetie Belle wasn't following Dash's crisis of incredulity, instead amusing herself with scooping up bits of the floor with her hoof. A sharp "Ahem!" from the owner of that floor brought her attention to a pegasus staring at her in irritation. "So, now that you've invaded my beauty sleep and my home, what can I do for you?" "Have you seen my socks?" Rainbow's countenance twisted itself into a variety of warped expressions as she futilely strove to process this question. Eventually she settled on deadpan. "Socks? You went through all of this just to ask me if I've seen your socks?" "Yeah, socks! I lost my pink socks, and I know you wear socks sometimes!" Rainbow blushed. I do not wear socks. I am way too cool for that." Sweetie Belle raised her eyebrows. "Oh really? The Foal Free Press believes otherwise." "Heh, I don't know w-what you're talking about," Rainbow stammered. Sweetie pressed on. "Remember Gabby Gums? Featherweight gave us more material than we knew what to do with. There's still plenty of unpublished dirt. Like a photo of a certain mare wearing..." "Okay, okay. I... You can't tell anypony this. Especially not Scootaloo. I have a reputation to maintain. I... sometimes, by myself in what I thought was the PRIVACY--" a withering glare "--of my own home, I... once in a while, you know not that often, I-I-I wear socks, alright!" Releasing a defeated sigh, the mare collapsing onto her haunches. "Silly, Scootaloo knows that. She doesn't care." Rainbow opened the eyes she had scrunched tightly closed. "Oh, she does?" "Yeah. We all saw the photos. She was the one who suggested I bug you." "Huh...Still not cool." "The spying part or the window part or the waking you up part or the socks part?" "Yes." "Yes?" "Yes, all of those. I am talking to you parents tonight. You fillies need to learn about a thing called boundaries. And, no, I haven't seen your socks. I'm kind of allergic to pink." "But I thought you're best friends with Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Pinkie Pie can't help how she was born. And besides, I don't wear her. Why on Equis would I even have your socks in the first place?" "Honestly, I'm kind of running out of places to look." "Really? I bet an egghead like Twilight could easily name a thousand places you could have lost your socks. And that's in Ponyville alone. Now get out." She nudged Sweetie toward the door with her muzzle. "Fine. Sorry to bother you, Rainbow Dash." Sweetie glanced back toward the broken shards littering the room. "And uh, sorry about the window." Rainbow bobbed her head. "Yeah, I know kid. Don't worry; it's fashioned out of hoar frost. It'll grow back. Now seriously, please leave." "Byyyyye." As Sweetie began her careful decent down the impossibly long ladder, Rainbow slammed the door shut. "Finally, peace," she muttered. She lazily trotted back to her bed and fished something out from under it: a bright pink stuffed squid. "They must never discover you, Mr. Snuggles." Author's Note This is a crossover with one of my other ~~stupid~~ silly anthologies: Rainbow Awks, Balks, Bawks, Blocks, Blocs, Box, Caulks, Chalks, Clocks, Cocks, Cox, Docks, Dox, Faux, Fawkes, Flocks, Fox, Frocks, Hawks, Jaques, Jocks, Knocks, Knox, Locks, Lox, Mocks, Ox, Pox, Shocks, Socks, Sox, Squawks, Stalks, Stocks, Talks, Vox, Walks, Woks Cheerilee's GardenMaybe her teacher had accidently buried her socks while doing yard work, Sweetie considered. So equipping herself with a shovel, she trotted over to Cheerilee's garden and started uprooting plants. Cheerilee was off on one of her frequent bad dates, so Sweetie didn't worry about being disturbed. However, she was soon disturbed by the large number of bones she was unearthing in her quest. Fortunately, she soon remembered that Cheerilee had once mentioned that her house was built on top of an ancient burial ground, and her worry subsided. While besides the skeletons she found many earthworms and rollie-pollies, she found no socks. Author's Note Yeah, no, this is rated "E". Quills and SofasDavenport sighed. It was too early in the day for this nonsense. Weren't kids supposed to be in school? Nonetheless, the stallion prided himself on his customer service. So though he was exhausted from the Futon Friday megasale he had run yesterday, he did his best to smile and speak politely to the adoracute though misguided filly in front of him. "Look Sweetie, I appreciate your sister's continued interest in our line of fainting couches. Tell her the Spring models will be arriving soon. But as for you, I confess I am confused. You're looking for your socks in a Quills and Sofas store?" Author's Note Can I interest you in a sofa? Trixie's HatTHE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE was in the middle of ~~another massive ego trip~~ entertaining some foals gathered around the stage she had set up in the market square, when a preteen filly with swirly hair trotted up to accompany her. "Foul fool, you dare interrupt THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE's amazing performance? How dare you!" The calm cool and collected Sweetie Belle hardly batted an eye. Rather, she trotted right up to THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE and plucked her hat right off her head. THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE gasped: "Wait! If you take off Trixie's hat--" But it was too late. A charm bracelet. seven sticks of chewing gum, nine blocks of C4, a half-eaten watercress sandwich, three sparrow eggs, a banana peel, a crumpled up "Wanted" poster, eleven bags of various dyes and powders, a pet rock (from Maud), seventy-three cheese cracker packets, and a tennis racket came rattling out. But no socks. Sweetie stood at the center of this mess while THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE fumed: "How dare you! Don't you know better than to mess with another pony's enchanted hat?!?" Plans For the Death Star Appropriate music played on best instrument Admiral Sweetie Belle sat in her spinny chair, intently surveying the stolen plans for the Death Star. Time was of the essence, for this monstrously large space station was bearing down on their rebel base on the moon Yavin 4. "Well, I don't see my socks anywhere, but there does seem to be a vulnerable thermal exhaust port in the equatorial trench. We could probably blow it up or something if we fired a missile down that. Scootaluke, go blow up the Death Star, why don't you?" (Convoluted) Source: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Death_Star_plans Author's Note That's no moon! A Batpony's Fruit SaladSmoky Eyes was having a long day. Air Horn kept playing pranks on her, and she had latrine cleaning duty tonight, and she also had a headache and her colt friend had dumped her last week and she should have been over it by now but she wasn't because she was an overemotional wreck and really she was just looking forward to eating her darned dinner. Said dinner currently had an adoracute filly rummaging through it. Smoky shook her head and blinked. The filly was still there, unfortunately not a hallucination, and still getting her filthy hooves all over her fruit salad. "Uhhh, kid, why are you in my salad?" "Oh, hey Ms. batpony guard. I'm looking for my socks. Have you seen them?" Smoky groaned, rubbing her tembles with a wing. "Look, little filly. I don't even know how you got in here–" "I snuck away from the guided tour of the castle!" she said, way too enthusiastically. "Right, well, have you ever been in the night guard mess hall before?" "Nope!" "Then your damn socks wouldn't be here anyway. Now shoo!" The filly's eyes glistened a little as she slinked away. Smoky almost felt bad. Almost. She might have been a bit harsh, but she was just not in the mood to deal with this right now. "Hey, Sarge, who's the cute filly? She your cousin?" "I wish, Dreamweaver, I wish." Author's Note Sufjan Stevens Pictures on Derpibooru"You know," said Sweetie Belle, mindlessly flipping through the pages of a Pitchfork magazine from last March, "I bet maybe Sufjan Stevens knows where my socks are. I mean, he writes so many deep and meaningful lyrics; he probably knows a lot of stuff." The problem was, Sweetie wasn't really sure how to contact Sufjan Stevens. Though certainly existent, there isn't exactly a huge overlap between Bronies and fans of moody indie music. On the other hoof, Sweetie was well aware of Rule 85 of the internet: If it exists there is a pony of it. Inasmuch, she figured she could probably find a ponified version of Sufjan on Derpibooru, for if not Derpibooru, then where? Imagine then, if you will oh faithful reader, the filly's horror--or at least profound disappointment--in the moments after she had typed "Sufjan Stevens" into the Derpibooru search bar and pressed enter, only to be confronted with... Nothing "We couldn't find any images for you. None at all. Nope. We did try, though! ", Sweetie read aloud, listlessly. Not only could she not find her socks, but she could not find any pictures of Sufjan Stevens on Derpibooru either. This sucked. Sweetie sighed, feeling mildly depressed now. But then, a stray thought flashed through her head, and a smile cracked her stoically pursed lips. She really felt like listening to some melancholic music in sync with her current nebulous emotions. In other words, Sufjan Stevens. She popped her Carrie & Lowell cassette into the tape deck and her headphones upon her head, ready to fall into the depths of timeless sorrow. Author's Note “This is a milestone for me because I never play festivals. The terror of it… I have such a fear of crowds, agoraphobia, social anxiety… I’m scared I’m gonna get Lyme’s disease or an STD or something, but… the last two days have proven all my fears are in vain. It’s been a beautiful two days. The vibe is amazing–it’s like a 48 hour episode of My Little Pony.” ~Stevens on playing at the Eaux Claires Festival in Eau Claire, WI. If you're unfamiliar with one of my favorite composers, here's an intoduction: Apple Bloom's Bow Closet"Now why in tarnation d'y'all think mah bow closet has your socks?" "Well, I've looked all the obvious places; now it's time to look in the less obvious ones!" "I told you, Sweetie, your socks ain't in there. Look I'll show you. See, no socks!" "Hey, Bloom. Oh, hi, Sweetie Belle." "Scootaloo! What are you doing here?" "I live here, remember?!" "Oh right, you're an orphan." Author's Note Oh jeez did I go there? Why yes I did even though "Flight to the Finish" made this uncanon like two years ago! The Ponyville Yellowpages"Hey, Sweets, whacha up to?" Apple Bloom inquired as she trotted into the clubhouse. It was a lazy late afternoon in July, the kind meant for frog catching and soapbox racing and boy pranking and other quintessential summer activities. Sweetie Belle was engaged in none of these activities; rather, she sat on the floor of the Crusader Clubhouse with a cumbersome tome in front of her. "What's it look like I'm doing?" Sweetie replied, not bothering to look up from the apparently engrossing read. "And if your answer involves a dictionary joke, I'll... I, uh--" The other Crusader smirked. "I wasn't planning on going there, but now I'm curious what you were going to do." "I, uh, never mind. I'm reading the yellow pages." Apple Bloom trotted next to her and sat down parallel. "The yellow pages? Ain't that some sort of like, Iunno, business directory?" "Yes, yes it is," replied the unicorn somewhat automatically, as if engrossed in the book before her. Which she was. "Oooookay. So, uh, what's got you so enthralled about it?" "I'm hoping I can find my socks." Whatever Apple Bloom was going to say terminated in her throat, laid to rest by the massive non sequitur. She just sort of sat there perplexed for a few seconds. "What," Sweetie asked dryly. Apple Bloom huffed and rose to her hooves. "There are at least three, no--" she furrowed her brows-- "actually, five routes I could take to tackle this one. But Applejack taught me to be a proper Southern Belle--pun involving your name unintended and an artifact of pony naming conventions, so all I'll say is bless yer heart, y'all'r crazy. Ah'm going spelunking with Scoots." And with that, she left. "Forgive them, Celestia, for they know not how important my pink socks are to me," Sweetie muttered, as she continued her search. "One day yet they'll see the light." Author's Note Why does their logo look like a pony with a long pointy snout, two legs, and no body? Sweetie wondered aloud. Andy Price's Vendor Booth at Everfree Northwest 2017Sweetie Belle happily skipped through the vendor hall, oblivious to the humans around her. They didn't seem to notice her either, instead seeming to always unknowingly step aside when her path approached them. That path soon lead her directly to Andy Price's table, where he was working on a commission sketch. "Heya, Andy! I really like your artwork. Have you seen my socks?" Andy slowly looked up. Blinked once. Then again. Nope, there was definitely a talking pony in front of him. His internal monologue noted how surprisingly calm he felt. "Hey, Tony," he called across the aisle to his fellow comic artist, "What did you say was in this tea again?" Tony Fleecs smiled wryly. "If I told you what it was, it wouldn't be a surprise!" Sweetie Belle frowned. The nice man who drew stuff wasn't responding. "Uh, Mr. Price, can you hear me?" The man sighed. "Yes, Sweetie Belle, I can hear you. You know," he added, cracking a smile, "for a hallucination, you're surprisingly, uh... realistic." "Silly human, I am real! You know what else is real? My lack of socks! Have you seen them?" Andy looked on his table. He looked under his table. He even looked behind his table. There were no socks to be found. But that two-headed dragon looked pretty interesting. "Yeah, that's pretty darn cool," a nearby giant Rainbow Dash plushie intoned. Andy's eye's roved. All around the vendor hall, things that shouldn't be talking or moving or existing were doing just that. All around him, Bronies went about buying, unaware of this strange new world filled with wonders Andy's eyes had been open to. Now he saw the truth. Now he saw peace, love, happiness, and all the things humans strove for but never found. It was all so simple, really. Everything is simple when you can see everything. Everything but socks. Tony Fleecs smiled, watching his spaced out friend. Something tapped him on the shoulder. "Enjoying yourself, Tony? I do love a good drugged tea prank, myself. Andy boy over there's higher than the Canterhorn!" That voice was unmistakable, and Tony really hoped he would see John Delancie standing behind him. "Nope, Discord." uh-oh! Author's Note Northgate MarketThree short blocks east of the author's music studio, there is a Northgate Market. Sweetie Belle, somehow once again finding herself in the human world, wandered into it. Inside she found all sorts of authentic Latino food. She didn't recognize many of them, on account of being white, but here's a list of some of the things you could probably make using ingredients found at Northgate Market. She knew what Tamales were though, on account of Hondo Flanks making them sometimes while Tailgating at hoofball games. They were selling fresh pork and beef tamales at Northgate, so she bought a few. She didn't find her socks though. My RoomAs I was cleaning up my room in preparation to move back out of my mom's house and in with my best friend who lives in Van Nuys, I did not find Sweetie Belle's socks. I just wanted to let y'all know that. I did find a bunch of my own socks though. Missing SocksSweetie Belle had a problem. She couldn't find her pink socks. Sure, she had others, but these were her favorite ones. She thought she had left them on her bed, but they were not there. She checked in bins and cabinets and under furniture, but alas, they were nowhere to be found. Huh, she thought to herself. I must find my socks! So she left her room. Author's Note No socks here. DownstairsSweetie Belle trotted downstairs, but did not see any socks. She did however see her Pop plopped on a pillow listening to the radio broadcast. Hoofball or something. Sweetie didn't really care much for sports. She did care for her missing socks however. Sweetie Belle searched the other rooms of the house, but it was fruitless. With a sigh, she trotted out the front door into the great wide open. Author's Note Go team go! The MoonPerhaps, thought Sweetie, Rarity had thought her socks ugly and banished them to the Moon. Her sister did live there occasionally, if the word "occasionally" is taken to mean "exactly once". She was also possessed by the Nightmare at the time, so perhaps she wasn't really in full control of her actions when she decided to relocate. At any rate, there was a distinct possibility Rarity still knew how to locomote (Not actually a word, according to the dictionary she looked at in another chapter) to and from the celestial object, and maybe she had a hidden sock cache there. Maybe she was hording socks to drive up their market price. Maybe Sweetie Belle would find a sock monster on the lunar surface. There was only one way to find out. Sweetie Belle jumped really high and landed on the moon. She found a thriving lunar landscape full of strange moon creatures, just like the Nightmare Rarity Comic Arc showed, but no socks. She explored for a while, because the moon is a big place. She even found a few hundred thousand hash marks carved into the dark side of the moon, surely the work of a bored Nightmare Moon. But she found no socks. She was also getting hungry after all this exploring. So she jumped really hard again and magically landed back on earth. Author's Note Not to scale. Fluffle PuffThings were known to get lost in Fluffle Puff's fur; she was a very fluffy pony. So Sweetie Belle cantered over to Golden Oaks Library, where the pink mare was a squatter Twilight was either too lazy or too nice to kick out. Fluffle was happy to see Sweetie, and enveloped her in a hug. Sweetie was glad she had her scuba gear now. She swam through the pink fur for months, looking for her pink socks which could have oh-so-easily blended in. She found Atlantis; Atlantic City, NJ; Atlanta, GA; and the entire Atlantic Ocean. In addition, she discovered many other amazing wonders beyond the scope of this story. But no socks. So she swam toward the light and exited the fur. Author's Note A Pile of HayThere is an expression among cows and to a lesser extent ponies that a difficult task is "like trying to find a needle in a haystack". This always struck Sweetie as silly phrase, because if one kept one's needles properly protected with a homing spell, they wouldn't get lost. Sweetie failed to consider that most ponies probably did not have professional seamstresses for big sisters, and thus would not consider this common knowledge. Nonetheless, Sweetie reversed the metaphor. If finding a needle in a haystack was like becoming an alicorn princess, surely it was possible. After all, 20% of her sister's closest friends had become alicorn princesses. So Sweetie figured she had at least a 20% chance of finding a needle if she dove into a random haystack. For finding her own missing items, the odds were probably higher, considering how much more bright pink socks would stand out. So, having trotted over to Sweet Apple Acres, Sweetie again donned her SCUBA gear and dove into the first haystack she found. Unfortunately, all she found inside were spiders and some moldy hay at the bottom. No pink socks. At least she could tip off the health inspector about the hay. Author's Note Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper. CheesecakeMagnum Belle and Betty Bouffant* walked into their house at 12:01 am, expecting the lights to be off and their younger daughter tucked into bed, fast asleep. Instead, the lights were still on and Sweetie Belle was sprawled on her back in the kitchen, moaning a low moan interspersed with whines and whimpers. Magnum dropped the leftovers he held in his field and rushed over to his daughter. "Sweetie! Are you alright?!" "Too... much... cheese--ugh--cake!" "What?" The filly scrunched her face in discomfort. "The... the cheesecake. I-I-I ate it all. All! Woe is me!" Betty was now beside her daughter as well. "The one in the icebox? All of it?!" Sweetie limply nodded up and down. "But, that must have been 10 slices! Heavens, dear, no wonder your stomach hurts! What have you learned, young filly?" "I--oof!--learned that cheesecakes don't have socks in them. At least they're delicious... Oh geez I'm a horse I can't puke. Please, make it stop!" Author's Note *Canon, sort of: Under the Hood of the Author's 2007 Hyundai Santa FeSuper Trampoline was worried. BABSCon officially started in 3 days and 27 minutes. The engine of his sticker-covered 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe SUV had been making funny noises lately, and he figured this was probably the cost of neglecting the "Check Engine" light for so long. Thus why he was currently sitting on a computer in the customer lounge of the Tustin Hyundai dealer, anxiously awaiting the fate of his beloved car and by extension his beloved wallet. Restless, he wandered out to the service yard where it sat. Rounding the corner, he saw his hood up. What he did not expect to see under it was the sight of a white unicorn filly with pink and purple mane curls. She stood on a short stool, poking around his engine block, prodding here and there with weak magic. "Sweetie Belle, what are you doing to my car?!" he yelled, flabbergasted. "Oh, hey, Super," she replied nonchalantly. "You said your car was making funny noises. I figured maybe my socks got stuck in the engine or something." Super Trampoline could only facehoof. "Sweetie, how would your socks even get in my engine? That makes no sense. Also, you're not real. Now please leave my car alone." "You need a car loan?" "Nevermind. Just... go bug your sister or something." "Oh hey, great idea!" And with that, the pony trotted back around the corner and out of sight. Super groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I gotta get more sleep. These hallucinations are getting way too realistic." "Yeah, you really should, agreed the "Sales -->" sign hanging on the wall. Author's Note Do you guys want to see how many stickers are on my car? But seriously, I'm a bit worried right now. Starlight Glimmer's Sock Drawer [S5 Spoilers]Sweetie Belle wandered into the the Crystal Friendship ~~Playset~~ Castle, looking for her sister, with her socks as a secondary objective. She ducked under a velvet rope with a "Staff Only" sign and found herself in the circular throne room. In the middle sat a table with a stylized three dimensional map of Equestria on it. Floating above a distant part circled a menagerie of cutie marks, those of the Friendship Crew, in fact. "Well, that must be where my sister is. Maybe my socks are there too," she said optimistically. ...One Travel Montage Later... That rifled-through house looks like a good place to begin my search, Sweetie thought, wandering through the strangely ebullient town. She trotted inside, and found the interior to be absolutely trashed, like a CMC-shaped hurricane had gone through it or something. She did however find a dresser with clothes in it though. "Huh. All their socks are the same. Boring." Fluttershy's FishbowlFluttershy walked back inside her cottage after burying a gila monster, only to find Sweetie Belle staring forlornly into a fishbowl on her desk. "Ummmm, Sweetie, why are you in my house and why are you looking at that fish so sadly?" The fish in question was "Gil", a tropical specimen Fluttershy was currently rehabilitating after it had come down with Smucas. She would have to let it go next week. But right now she was more perplexed by the filly in her house. "Sweetie Belle? Hello?" "Oh, hi, Fluttershy! Don't mind me, I'm just looking for my socks!" she chirped. "Um, well, why would your socks be in my fishbowl? I, uh, think you're scaring Gil." "Why wouldn't they be there?" Sweetie replied. Fluttershy grimaced. This was not what she needed right after an emotional funeral. "I can assure you your socks aren't there. Even if they were, I don't think you'd want them after a few days. Sweetie Belle?" "Yes, Fluttershy?" It was time to practice assertive behavior. "Please go away." The filly came to the conclusion that maybe this was a bad time. "Yeah, okay," she mumbled, and slunk off. " Author's Note This takes place a week prior to the IDW MLP Comics Pirate Arc. Super Trampoline's CarAuthor's Note I wrote this while driving using voice to text. Mostly. It's a really dangerous and illegal thing and you should never do it. Super Trampoline's Car "Super," Twilight began dryly, do you know how I can tell how much of a mess your life currently is? "No, how?" The bat pony responded to his conceptualization of an imaginary character. "I can tell based on how messy your car is. The more – to borrow a phrase from Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep— messy your car is, the more kipple is building up in it Dash food containers, business cards, trash, receipts, music equipment – the more I know you are struggling to keep your life together. " "Wow, that's depressing," super trampoline replied. "But I'm a pony, and ponies don't have cars." Twilight rolled her eyes. No, you're a human driving a 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe covered and bumper stickers, and you're running late to an appointment, as always because… Reasons I won't get into." "OK, fine, but what does that have to do with sweetie Belle finding her socks?" Twilight grand a mischievously. "Well, you know she's lived a lot of places hasn't been able to find her socks yet. But I know one place she hasn't looked, where a lot of stuff could be hiding. "My car?" "Exactly. And you've seen sweetie Belle is organizing a temps, right? You seen what she has done to rarities fashion paraphernalia. You wouldn't want that to happen to the contents of your car, now would you? " Super trampoline granted. "OK, OK, I get it. I'll clean my car" Twilight smiled. I knew you would come through. But also, let me know if you find any socks. "I do have a couple of dirty ones sitting at my feet from when I went to the last pony convention but none of sweetie bells. . Note, I will edit this later when I'm not driving
DictionarySweetie Belle looked in the dictionary the Crusaders kept in their clubhouse. It had "Sock", the word, but not her socks in it. It also had Rainbow-colored hairs on it. Sweetie realized this must have been the book Scootaloo had used to knock out Rainbow Dash so she could cut her mane and make it into a wig. Crafty. thought Sweetie Belle, making a mental note to never cross Scootaloo. Author's Note
Ponyville LakeSweetie Belle hooked up her rebreather and dived into the Ponyville lake. She wasn't sure why she needed a rebreather--the lake was only about 20 feet deep--but she felt safer having it. She also felt a squid wrap a sucker-studded leg around her own, ready for a meal. She bludgeoned the squid with her dictionary, which made it jet away in fear and ink, and kept on swimming. Alas, while she found a cool shipwreck and plenty of plunder, she found no socks. So she got out, kicked off her flippers, and took a nap on the towel she had brought. Author's Note
The Canterhorn CavernsThis mountain sure has a lot of holes in it, thought Sweetie Belle as she threaded her way through the gravel and rocks that littered the cave floor. I bet this would be a great place to dump somepony you never wanted to hear from again. Alas, nopony has dumped my socks here. Somewhere far off, Chrysalis hatched an evil plan, and a few larvae hatched too. Author's Note A popular vacation destination for pink alicorns.
Laundry HamperIt was laundry day in the Belle household, and Sweetie figured perhaps her mother had picked the socks up, supposing them dirty. So Sweetie rummaged around in the dirty laundry hamper. Luckily for her, it was fairly empty, because pony's don't wear many clothes. So empty it was, in fact, that it did not even have Sweetie Belle's pink socks. Drats! she thought. Author's Note
The BridgeThere were several bridges in Ponyville under which Sweetie Belle's socks might be found. Right now however, she was not under the bridge downtown. Rather, she was looking under the bridge that led to Fluttershy's cottage. She found a small creek and a family of otters, but no socks. She tried to figure out how she could make a pun about looking under the "otter bridge", but realized she wasn't really a large enough fan of bad puns for it to be worth the effort. So she went to hang out with the crusaders instead. Author's Note Why, I crossed that bridge just the otter day!
ChimneyMaybe I can get a chimney-sweep cutie mark, thought Sweetie Belle as she poked her head around inside the fireplace. Then again, do I want to clean these places of soot the rest of my life? Probably not. Not only were there no pink socks in the chimney, there were no black ones either, which is strange because any sock that enters a frequently-used chimney will take the color of soot and ash pretty fast. Thus for the chimney part of her search, Sweetie looked for any color of sock. And still, she found naught. She did, however, learn to think about the fact that not everypony gets a cutey mark they both like and feel represents what they're good at. Sweetie was in fact quite happy she hadn't gotten a cutie mark. She couldn't imagine cleaning out flues six hours a day. Author's Note Perhaps Apple Bloom should try instead.
Rarity's Trash Bin on Nightmare NightSweetie Belle always found her sister's career choice more than a bit odd, considering ponies generally walked around naked. However, when you're the only seamstress who does custom orders in a town of five thousand, the customers do add up. Especially during the later weeks of October, when everypony suddenly realizes they want their own cool costume. Inasmuch, Rarity was usually nowhere to be seen Nightmare Night, as she generally pulled several consecutive all-nighters in the days leading up to the holiday. This almost lead to a falling out between Pinkie and Rarity one year, but that's another story for another time. In this story, Sweetie was currently dumpster diving in the trash bin behind the Carousel Boutique. Rarity threw out a lot of extra scraps as she made ponies's costumes, and Sweetie suspected she might have accidentally thrown out her pink socks. However, as she rifled through the extra fabric and other odds and ends, she found no pink articles of clothing meant to cover her hooves and pasterns. She did find some googly eyes, though, and as everypony knows, googly eyes make everything better. Author's Note Happy All Hallow's Eve, Everypony!
Rainbow Dash's HouseOne of the joys of Wednesdays for Rainbow Dash was that she only had the afternoon shift managing the weather. Inasmuch right now she was sleeping in with gusto. A gentle tapping was drowned out by her snoring. Then the tapping turned to knocking. Then the knocking became pounding. Then her window shattered. "GAHHHH!" she screamed, wings flaring out as sharp shards lodged themselves into the nearby floor. "Oops. Sorry Rainbow Dash!" "Ughhh. Wait. Is that... Sweetie Belle?" "Yeah. I'm Sweetie. Can I can come in?" Rainbow attempted to get out of bed, but instead merely rolled until she fell out and onto her back. "Oops. On second thought, door should be unlocked. Um, yeah, come in." The knob turned and the unicorn filly trotted nonchalantly into the floating house. "Cool crib you got here!" Rainbow pawed at the air from her place on the floor, not making much effort to right herself."I'm still dreaming aren't I? You're walking on clouds. This is what I get for eating too much pizza." "Oh yeah, Twilight cast a cloud-walking spell on me. I'm good for several hours!" Rainbow eventually managed to shift onto her hooves. "Okay, but how'd you even get up here?" "Oh, Pinkie let me borrow a ladder." Dash groggily made her way to the broken window and craned her head out, seeing that indeed, there was a bright red ladder at least 150 feet long leaning against the puffy foundation of her house. Was it enchanted too? "How does... why does... wait, how did you--know what, nevermind. Better not to ask." Sweetie Belle wasn't following Dash's crisis of incredulity, instead amusing herself with scooping up bits of the floor with her hoof. A sharp "Ahem!" from the owner of that floor brought her attention to a pegasus staring at her in irritation. "So, now that you've invaded my beauty sleep and my home, what can I do for you?" "Have you seen my socks?" Rainbow's countenance twisted itself into a variety of warped expressions as she futilely strove to process this question. Eventually she settled on deadpan. "Socks? You went through all of this just to ask me if I've seen your socks?" "Yeah, socks! I lost my pink socks, and I know you wear socks sometimes!" Rainbow blushed. I do not wear socks. I am way too cool for that." Sweetie Belle raised her eyebrows. "Oh really? The Foal Free Press believes otherwise." "Heh, I don't know w-what you're talking about," Rainbow stammered. Sweetie pressed on. "Remember Gabby Gums? Featherweight gave us more material than we knew what to do with. There's still plenty of unpublished dirt. Like a photo of a certain mare wearing..." "Okay, okay. I... You can't tell anypony this. Especially not Scootaloo. I have a reputation to maintain. I... sometimes, by myself in what I thought was the PRIVACY--" a withering glare "--of my own home, I... once in a while, you know not that often, I-I-I wear socks, alright!" Releasing a defeated sigh, the mare collapsing onto her haunches. "Silly, Scootaloo knows that. She doesn't care." Rainbow opened the eyes she had scrunched tightly closed. "Oh, she does?" "Yeah. We all saw the photos. She was the one who suggested I bug you." "Huh...Still not cool." "The spying part or the window part or the waking you up part or the socks part?" "Yes." "Yes?" "Yes, all of those. I am talking to you parents tonight. You fillies need to learn about a thing called boundaries. And, no, I haven't seen your socks. I'm kind of allergic to pink." "But I thought you're best friends with Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Pinkie Pie can't help how she was born. And besides, I don't wear her. Why on Equis would I even have your socks in the first place?" "Honestly, I'm kind of running out of places to look." "Really? I bet an egghead like Twilight could easily name a thousand places you could have lost your socks. And that's in Ponyville alone. Now get out." She nudged Sweetie toward the door with her muzzle. "Fine. Sorry to bother you, Rainbow Dash." Sweetie glanced back toward the broken shards littering the room. "And uh, sorry about the window." Rainbow bobbed her head. "Yeah, I know kid. Don't worry; it's fashioned out of hoar frost. It'll grow back. Now seriously, please leave." "Byyyyye." As Sweetie began her careful decent down the impossibly long ladder, Rainbow slammed the door shut. "Finally, peace," she muttered. She lazily trotted back to her bed and fished something out from under it: a bright pink stuffed squid. "They must never discover you, Mr. Snuggles." Author's Note This is a crossover with one of my other ~~stupid~~ silly anthologies: Rainbow Awks, Balks, Bawks, Blocks, Blocs, Box, Caulks, Chalks, Clocks, Cocks, Cox, Docks, Dox, Faux, Fawkes, Flocks, Fox, Frocks, Hawks, Jaques, Jocks, Knocks, Knox, Locks, Lox, Mocks, Ox, Pox, Shocks, Socks, Sox, Squawks, Stalks, Stocks, Talks, Vox, Walks, Woks
Cheerilee's GardenMaybe her teacher had accidently buried her socks while doing yard work, Sweetie considered. So equipping herself with a shovel, she trotted over to Cheerilee's garden and started uprooting plants. Cheerilee was off on one of her frequent bad dates, so Sweetie didn't worry about being disturbed. However, she was soon disturbed by the large number of bones she was unearthing in her quest. Fortunately, she soon remembered that Cheerilee had once mentioned that her house was built on top of an ancient burial ground, and her worry subsided. While besides the skeletons she found many earthworms and rollie-pollies, she found no socks. Author's Note Yeah, no, this is rated "E".
Quills and SofasDavenport sighed. It was too early in the day for this nonsense. Weren't kids supposed to be in school? Nonetheless, the stallion prided himself on his customer service. So though he was exhausted from the Futon Friday megasale he had run yesterday, he did his best to smile and speak politely to the adoracute though misguided filly in front of him. "Look Sweetie, I appreciate your sister's continued interest in our line of fainting couches. Tell her the Spring models will be arriving soon. But as for you, I confess I am confused. You're looking for your socks in a Quills and Sofas store?" Author's Note Can I interest you in a sofa?
Trixie's HatTHE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE was in the middle of ~~another massive ego trip~~ entertaining some foals gathered around the stage she had set up in the market square, when a preteen filly with swirly hair trotted up to accompany her. "Foul fool, you dare interrupt THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE's amazing performance? How dare you!" The calm cool and collected Sweetie Belle hardly batted an eye. Rather, she trotted right up to THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE and plucked her hat right off her head. THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE gasped: "Wait! If you take off Trixie's hat--" But it was too late. A charm bracelet. seven sticks of chewing gum, nine blocks of C4, a half-eaten watercress sandwich, three sparrow eggs, a banana peel, a crumpled up "Wanted" poster, eleven bags of various dyes and powders, a pet rock (from Maud), seventy-three cheese cracker packets, and a tennis racket came rattling out. But no socks. Sweetie stood at the center of this mess while THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE fumed: "How dare you! Don't you know better than to mess with another pony's enchanted hat?!?"
Plans For the Death Star Appropriate music played on best instrument Admiral Sweetie Belle sat in her spinny chair, intently surveying the stolen plans for the Death Star. Time was of the essence, for this monstrously large space station was bearing down on their rebel base on the moon Yavin 4. "Well, I don't see my socks anywhere, but there does seem to be a vulnerable thermal exhaust port in the equatorial trench. We could probably blow it up or something if we fired a missile down that. Scootaluke, go blow up the Death Star, why don't you?" (Convoluted) Source: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Death_Star_plans Author's Note That's no moon!
A Batpony's Fruit SaladSmoky Eyes was having a long day. Air Horn kept playing pranks on her, and she had latrine cleaning duty tonight, and she also had a headache and her colt friend had dumped her last week and she should have been over it by now but she wasn't because she was an overemotional wreck and really she was just looking forward to eating her darned dinner. Said dinner currently had an adoracute filly rummaging through it. Smoky shook her head and blinked. The filly was still there, unfortunately not a hallucination, and still getting her filthy hooves all over her fruit salad. "Uhhh, kid, why are you in my salad?" "Oh, hey Ms. batpony guard. I'm looking for my socks. Have you seen them?" Smoky groaned, rubbing her tembles with a wing. "Look, little filly. I don't even know how you got in here–" "I snuck away from the guided tour of the castle!" she said, way too enthusiastically. "Right, well, have you ever been in the night guard mess hall before?" "Nope!" "Then your damn socks wouldn't be here anyway. Now shoo!" The filly's eyes glistened a little as she slinked away. Smoky almost felt bad. Almost. She might have been a bit harsh, but she was just not in the mood to deal with this right now. "Hey, Sarge, who's the cute filly? She your cousin?" "I wish, Dreamweaver, I wish." Author's Note
Sufjan Stevens Pictures on Derpibooru"You know," said Sweetie Belle, mindlessly flipping through the pages of a Pitchfork magazine from last March, "I bet maybe Sufjan Stevens knows where my socks are. I mean, he writes so many deep and meaningful lyrics; he probably knows a lot of stuff." The problem was, Sweetie wasn't really sure how to contact Sufjan Stevens. Though certainly existent, there isn't exactly a huge overlap between Bronies and fans of moody indie music. On the other hoof, Sweetie was well aware of Rule 85 of the internet: If it exists there is a pony of it. Inasmuch, she figured she could probably find a ponified version of Sufjan on Derpibooru, for if not Derpibooru, then where? Imagine then, if you will oh faithful reader, the filly's horror--or at least profound disappointment--in the moments after she had typed "Sufjan Stevens" into the Derpibooru search bar and pressed enter, only to be confronted with... Nothing "We couldn't find any images for you. None at all. Nope. We did try, though! ", Sweetie read aloud, listlessly. Not only could she not find her socks, but she could not find any pictures of Sufjan Stevens on Derpibooru either. This sucked. Sweetie sighed, feeling mildly depressed now. But then, a stray thought flashed through her head, and a smile cracked her stoically pursed lips. She really felt like listening to some melancholic music in sync with her current nebulous emotions. In other words, Sufjan Stevens. She popped her Carrie & Lowell cassette into the tape deck and her headphones upon her head, ready to fall into the depths of timeless sorrow. Author's Note “This is a milestone for me because I never play festivals. The terror of it… I have such a fear of crowds, agoraphobia, social anxiety… I’m scared I’m gonna get Lyme’s disease or an STD or something, but… the last two days have proven all my fears are in vain. It’s been a beautiful two days. The vibe is amazing–it’s like a 48 hour episode of My Little Pony.” ~Stevens on playing at the Eaux Claires Festival in Eau Claire, WI. If you're unfamiliar with one of my favorite composers, here's an intoduction:
Apple Bloom's Bow Closet"Now why in tarnation d'y'all think mah bow closet has your socks?" "Well, I've looked all the obvious places; now it's time to look in the less obvious ones!" "I told you, Sweetie, your socks ain't in there. Look I'll show you. See, no socks!" "Hey, Bloom. Oh, hi, Sweetie Belle." "Scootaloo! What are you doing here?" "I live here, remember?!" "Oh right, you're an orphan." Author's Note Oh jeez did I go there? Why yes I did even though "Flight to the Finish" made this uncanon like two years ago!
The Ponyville Yellowpages"Hey, Sweets, whacha up to?" Apple Bloom inquired as she trotted into the clubhouse. It was a lazy late afternoon in July, the kind meant for frog catching and soapbox racing and boy pranking and other quintessential summer activities. Sweetie Belle was engaged in none of these activities; rather, she sat on the floor of the Crusader Clubhouse with a cumbersome tome in front of her. "What's it look like I'm doing?" Sweetie replied, not bothering to look up from the apparently engrossing read. "And if your answer involves a dictionary joke, I'll... I, uh--" The other Crusader smirked. "I wasn't planning on going there, but now I'm curious what you were going to do." "I, uh, never mind. I'm reading the yellow pages." Apple Bloom trotted next to her and sat down parallel. "The yellow pages? Ain't that some sort of like, Iunno, business directory?" "Yes, yes it is," replied the unicorn somewhat automatically, as if engrossed in the book before her. Which she was. "Oooookay. So, uh, what's got you so enthralled about it?" "I'm hoping I can find my socks." Whatever Apple Bloom was going to say terminated in her throat, laid to rest by the massive non sequitur. She just sort of sat there perplexed for a few seconds. "What," Sweetie asked dryly. Apple Bloom huffed and rose to her hooves. "There are at least three, no--" she furrowed her brows-- "actually, five routes I could take to tackle this one. But Applejack taught me to be a proper Southern Belle--pun involving your name unintended and an artifact of pony naming conventions, so all I'll say is bless yer heart, y'all'r crazy. Ah'm going spelunking with Scoots." And with that, she left. "Forgive them, Celestia, for they know not how important my pink socks are to me," Sweetie muttered, as she continued her search. "One day yet they'll see the light." Author's Note Why does their logo look like a pony with a long pointy snout, two legs, and no body? Sweetie wondered aloud.
Andy Price's Vendor Booth at Everfree Northwest 2017Sweetie Belle happily skipped through the vendor hall, oblivious to the humans around her. They didn't seem to notice her either, instead seeming to always unknowingly step aside when her path approached them. That path soon lead her directly to Andy Price's table, where he was working on a commission sketch. "Heya, Andy! I really like your artwork. Have you seen my socks?" Andy slowly looked up. Blinked once. Then again. Nope, there was definitely a talking pony in front of him. His internal monologue noted how surprisingly calm he felt. "Hey, Tony," he called across the aisle to his fellow comic artist, "What did you say was in this tea again?" Tony Fleecs smiled wryly. "If I told you what it was, it wouldn't be a surprise!" Sweetie Belle frowned. The nice man who drew stuff wasn't responding. "Uh, Mr. Price, can you hear me?" The man sighed. "Yes, Sweetie Belle, I can hear you. You know," he added, cracking a smile, "for a hallucination, you're surprisingly, uh... realistic." "Silly human, I am real! You know what else is real? My lack of socks! Have you seen them?" Andy looked on his table. He looked under his table. He even looked behind his table. There were no socks to be found. But that two-headed dragon looked pretty interesting. "Yeah, that's pretty darn cool," a nearby giant Rainbow Dash plushie intoned. Andy's eye's roved. All around the vendor hall, things that shouldn't be talking or moving or existing were doing just that. All around him, Bronies went about buying, unaware of this strange new world filled with wonders Andy's eyes had been open to. Now he saw the truth. Now he saw peace, love, happiness, and all the things humans strove for but never found. It was all so simple, really. Everything is simple when you can see everything. Everything but socks. Tony Fleecs smiled, watching his spaced out friend. Something tapped him on the shoulder. "Enjoying yourself, Tony? I do love a good drugged tea prank, myself. Andy boy over there's higher than the Canterhorn!" That voice was unmistakable, and Tony really hoped he would see John Delancie standing behind him. "Nope, Discord." uh-oh! Author's Note
Northgate MarketThree short blocks east of the author's music studio, there is a Northgate Market. Sweetie Belle, somehow once again finding herself in the human world, wandered into it. Inside she found all sorts of authentic Latino food. She didn't recognize many of them, on account of being white, but here's a list of some of the things you could probably make using ingredients found at Northgate Market. She knew what Tamales were though, on account of Hondo Flanks making them sometimes while Tailgating at hoofball games. They were selling fresh pork and beef tamales at Northgate, so she bought a few. She didn't find her socks though.
My RoomAs I was cleaning up my room in preparation to move back out of my mom's house and in with my best friend who lives in Van Nuys, I did not find Sweetie Belle's socks. I just wanted to let y'all know that. I did find a bunch of my own socks though.
Missing SocksSweetie Belle had a problem. She couldn't find her pink socks. Sure, she had others, but these were her favorite ones. She thought she had left them on her bed, but they were not there. She checked in bins and cabinets and under furniture, but alas, they were nowhere to be found. Huh, she thought to herself. I must find my socks! So she left her room. Author's Note No socks here.
DownstairsSweetie Belle trotted downstairs, but did not see any socks. She did however see her Pop plopped on a pillow listening to the radio broadcast. Hoofball or something. Sweetie didn't really care much for sports. She did care for her missing socks however. Sweetie Belle searched the other rooms of the house, but it was fruitless. With a sigh, she trotted out the front door into the great wide open. Author's Note Go team go!
The MoonPerhaps, thought Sweetie, Rarity had thought her socks ugly and banished them to the Moon. Her sister did live there occasionally, if the word "occasionally" is taken to mean "exactly once". She was also possessed by the Nightmare at the time, so perhaps she wasn't really in full control of her actions when she decided to relocate. At any rate, there was a distinct possibility Rarity still knew how to locomote (Not actually a word, according to the dictionary she looked at in another chapter) to and from the celestial object, and maybe she had a hidden sock cache there. Maybe she was hording socks to drive up their market price. Maybe Sweetie Belle would find a sock monster on the lunar surface. There was only one way to find out. Sweetie Belle jumped really high and landed on the moon. She found a thriving lunar landscape full of strange moon creatures, just like the Nightmare Rarity Comic Arc showed, but no socks. She explored for a while, because the moon is a big place. She even found a few hundred thousand hash marks carved into the dark side of the moon, surely the work of a bored Nightmare Moon. But she found no socks. She was also getting hungry after all this exploring. So she jumped really hard again and magically landed back on earth. Author's Note Not to scale.
Fluffle PuffThings were known to get lost in Fluffle Puff's fur; she was a very fluffy pony. So Sweetie Belle cantered over to Golden Oaks Library, where the pink mare was a squatter Twilight was either too lazy or too nice to kick out. Fluffle was happy to see Sweetie, and enveloped her in a hug. Sweetie was glad she had her scuba gear now. She swam through the pink fur for months, looking for her pink socks which could have oh-so-easily blended in. She found Atlantis; Atlantic City, NJ; Atlanta, GA; and the entire Atlantic Ocean. In addition, she discovered many other amazing wonders beyond the scope of this story. But no socks. So she swam toward the light and exited the fur. Author's Note
A Pile of HayThere is an expression among cows and to a lesser extent ponies that a difficult task is "like trying to find a needle in a haystack". This always struck Sweetie as silly phrase, because if one kept one's needles properly protected with a homing spell, they wouldn't get lost. Sweetie failed to consider that most ponies probably did not have professional seamstresses for big sisters, and thus would not consider this common knowledge. Nonetheless, Sweetie reversed the metaphor. If finding a needle in a haystack was like becoming an alicorn princess, surely it was possible. After all, 20% of her sister's closest friends had become alicorn princesses. So Sweetie figured she had at least a 20% chance of finding a needle if she dove into a random haystack. For finding her own missing items, the odds were probably higher, considering how much more bright pink socks would stand out. So, having trotted over to Sweet Apple Acres, Sweetie again donned her SCUBA gear and dove into the first haystack she found. Unfortunately, all she found inside were spiders and some moldy hay at the bottom. No pink socks. At least she could tip off the health inspector about the hay. Author's Note Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper.
CheesecakeMagnum Belle and Betty Bouffant* walked into their house at 12:01 am, expecting the lights to be off and their younger daughter tucked into bed, fast asleep. Instead, the lights were still on and Sweetie Belle was sprawled on her back in the kitchen, moaning a low moan interspersed with whines and whimpers. Magnum dropped the leftovers he held in his field and rushed over to his daughter. "Sweetie! Are you alright?!" "Too... much... cheese--ugh--cake!" "What?" The filly scrunched her face in discomfort. "The... the cheesecake. I-I-I ate it all. All! Woe is me!" Betty was now beside her daughter as well. "The one in the icebox? All of it?!" Sweetie limply nodded up and down. "But, that must have been 10 slices! Heavens, dear, no wonder your stomach hurts! What have you learned, young filly?" "I--oof!--learned that cheesecakes don't have socks in them. At least they're delicious... Oh geez I'm a horse I can't puke. Please, make it stop!" Author's Note *Canon, sort of:
Under the Hood of the Author's 2007 Hyundai Santa FeSuper Trampoline was worried. BABSCon officially started in 3 days and 27 minutes. The engine of his sticker-covered 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe SUV had been making funny noises lately, and he figured this was probably the cost of neglecting the "Check Engine" light for so long. Thus why he was currently sitting on a computer in the customer lounge of the Tustin Hyundai dealer, anxiously awaiting the fate of his beloved car and by extension his beloved wallet. Restless, he wandered out to the service yard where it sat. Rounding the corner, he saw his hood up. What he did not expect to see under it was the sight of a white unicorn filly with pink and purple mane curls. She stood on a short stool, poking around his engine block, prodding here and there with weak magic. "Sweetie Belle, what are you doing to my car?!" he yelled, flabbergasted. "Oh, hey, Super," she replied nonchalantly. "You said your car was making funny noises. I figured maybe my socks got stuck in the engine or something." Super Trampoline could only facehoof. "Sweetie, how would your socks even get in my engine? That makes no sense. Also, you're not real. Now please leave my car alone." "You need a car loan?" "Nevermind. Just... go bug your sister or something." "Oh hey, great idea!" And with that, the pony trotted back around the corner and out of sight. Super groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I gotta get more sleep. These hallucinations are getting way too realistic." "Yeah, you really should, agreed the "Sales -->" sign hanging on the wall. Author's Note Do you guys want to see how many stickers are on my car? But seriously, I'm a bit worried right now.
Starlight Glimmer's Sock Drawer [S5 Spoilers]Sweetie Belle wandered into the the Crystal Friendship ~~Playset~~ Castle, looking for her sister, with her socks as a secondary objective. She ducked under a velvet rope with a "Staff Only" sign and found herself in the circular throne room. In the middle sat a table with a stylized three dimensional map of Equestria on it. Floating above a distant part circled a menagerie of cutie marks, those of the Friendship Crew, in fact. "Well, that must be where my sister is. Maybe my socks are there too," she said optimistically. ...One Travel Montage Later... That rifled-through house looks like a good place to begin my search, Sweetie thought, wandering through the strangely ebullient town. She trotted inside, and found the interior to be absolutely trashed, like a CMC-shaped hurricane had gone through it or something. She did however find a dresser with clothes in it though. "Huh. All their socks are the same. Boring."
Fluttershy's FishbowlFluttershy walked back inside her cottage after burying a gila monster, only to find Sweetie Belle staring forlornly into a fishbowl on her desk. "Ummmm, Sweetie, why are you in my house and why are you looking at that fish so sadly?" The fish in question was "Gil", a tropical specimen Fluttershy was currently rehabilitating after it had come down with Smucas. She would have to let it go next week. But right now she was more perplexed by the filly in her house. "Sweetie Belle? Hello?" "Oh, hi, Fluttershy! Don't mind me, I'm just looking for my socks!" she chirped. "Um, well, why would your socks be in my fishbowl? I, uh, think you're scaring Gil." "Why wouldn't they be there?" Sweetie replied. Fluttershy grimaced. This was not what she needed right after an emotional funeral. "I can assure you your socks aren't there. Even if they were, I don't think you'd want them after a few days. Sweetie Belle?" "Yes, Fluttershy?" It was time to practice assertive behavior. "Please go away." The filly came to the conclusion that maybe this was a bad time. "Yeah, okay," she mumbled, and slunk off. " Author's Note This takes place a week prior to the IDW MLP Comics Pirate Arc.
Super Trampoline's CarAuthor's Note I wrote this while driving using voice to text. Mostly. It's a really dangerous and illegal thing and you should never do it. Super Trampoline's Car "Super," Twilight began dryly, do you know how I can tell how much of a mess your life currently is? "No, how?" The bat pony responded to his conceptualization of an imaginary character. "I can tell based on how messy your car is. The more – to borrow a phrase from Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep— messy your car is, the more kipple is building up in it Dash food containers, business cards, trash, receipts, music equipment – the more I know you are struggling to keep your life together. " "Wow, that's depressing," super trampoline replied. "But I'm a pony, and ponies don't have cars." Twilight rolled her eyes. No, you're a human driving a 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe covered and bumper stickers, and you're running late to an appointment, as always because… Reasons I won't get into." "OK, fine, but what does that have to do with sweetie Belle finding her socks?" Twilight grand a mischievously. "Well, you know she's lived a lot of places hasn't been able to find her socks yet. But I know one place she hasn't looked, where a lot of stuff could be hiding. "My car?" "Exactly. And you've seen sweetie Belle is organizing a temps, right? You seen what she has done to rarities fashion paraphernalia. You wouldn't want that to happen to the contents of your car, now would you? " Super trampoline granted. "OK, OK, I get it. I'll clean my car" Twilight smiled. I knew you would come through. But also, let me know if you find any socks. "I do have a couple of dirty ones sitting at my feet from when I went to the last pony convention but none of sweetie bells. . Note, I will edit this later when I'm not driving
