Bark at the Moon

Panic swells in your chest as your Canterlot room melts away, revealing the reviled cave that you've dreamed of too many times before. The carpet beneath your feet completes it's transformation into dirt... wait, feet? You have both legs here. Luna wasn''t lying - it's definitely a dream.

You frantically look left and right for the exit, before the rest of the dream has a chance to play out. Which way did you even come from!? Nowhere; you were just... here.

"Luna!" you try to shout, but the words shrivel in fear, "This is it! This is the part when I find that diamond and..."

"You seem anxious," the princess says nonchalantly, "Very much different to what you were like a few minutes ago. Would you like a filthy magazine to calm your nerves?"

"Lu- argh, Princess Luna, please!" you beg, "I can't go through this again! No matter what I try, I can't stop myself from re-living it! Every night I just... just wake me up before-"

A glimmer in the corner of your eye cuts you off. You know what it is without even needing to look up. That beautiful diamond. That terrible diamond.

Despite every fiber in your body screaming to run away, to resist, you cannot help but reach out for it. Your paws firmly grasp the accursed rock, ready to bring the whole cave down once again.

A dark-blue hoof reaches out. "What are you doing!?" she exclaims, "You're going to set off your own nightmare again!"

Your head slowly turns toward her. You look Luna square in the eyes.

"Help me."

And then you pull.

"Wait! WAIT-!" Luna yells. But it doesn't do much; as soon as the diamond comes loose, she phases from existence on the spot. It's too late. You've set the chain of events in motion, just as you do every night.

That familiar rumble. A rock crashes down beside you. It starts all over again. Get out of there or you're going to die. Not that it makes a difference.

You bound across the cavern floor, enjoying the fact you have two rear legs while you still can. The mouth of the cave is in view, but you know you're not going to make it. You never do.

Two swift clouts of pain ring from the back of your skull, making you trip and fall to the ground. You were expecting it. A sickening CRUNCH; that would be the boulder that crushes your leg. You fling the diamond to safety for the thousandth time, just to get the dream over with.

And finally, the rest of the cave comes tumbling down. Nothing has changed.

*******

Your eyes flick open. After a moment of adjustment, two things come into view - the dull ceiling of your Canterlot apartment and the concerned face of an almighty mare.

"Thanks goodness for that," Luna sighs as you throw back the bed-cover, revealing the stump where your leg used to be. Yes, this is real. It's no longer a dream. You never dream of the stump.

"I've seen ponies have recurring nightmares many times before, but you're a special case," the princess of the night continues. "You were even shivering and weeping in the waking world!"

"I... wasn't weeping!" you growl, hauling yourself out of bed. "Diamond Dogs don't weep."

"But your eyes-"

"That's, uh, sleep dust," you wipe away any traces of the contrary, and change the subject, "Anyway, I thought you were supposed to stop me getting crushed!"

"It was your dream, though," she replies. "I could only do so much there. Gracious, at one point you even forced me out of your own dream just so you could complete the recurring nightmare!"

"That... that was me?" you raise an eyebrow inquisitively, to show that you're intrigued rather than genuinely shocked, "But you're the princess of dreams! How could I boot you out of your home turf?"

"Dreams are, indeed, my forte," she nods. "However, I'm not accustomed to a Diamond Dog's dreamscape. I admit, my power there is quite..."

"Limited?"

"Stifled. How to put this..? If being in a pony's dream is like swimming through water, a Diamond Dog's dream is like swimming through thick cream. It's so difficult to get used to, faltering was unavoidable."

"So... when my apartment turned into the nightmare, that was all me?"

"I'm afraid so. And you can't seem to control the act of pulling the diamond out whenever you see it. Sadly, I do not know enough about Diamond Dog dreams to remedy this. Sorry." This is the first time you've seen Luna look genuinely apologetic. It's kind of sad to see someone as great as herself get stumped with an issue that she should be doing so well with. As magnificent and royal and powerful as she is, you actually want to give her a hug. Of course, her stunning beauty factors into that...

Wait. You've just had a horrible thought.

"A-and the sexy magazine thing?" you cough.

"Also all you."

"Damn," you curse, before remembering the whole talking-to-royalty thing. "I'm really sorry about that, I had no idea, and I'm not sure how much control I had over that in the first place... and I would very much not like to get banished to Tartarus for that, if it's cool with you."

Honestly, a normal individual would expect someone like Luna to be very displeased with bringing up that subject again. But against all possibilities, she just smiles. No, it's more of a cheeky smirk hidden behind that royal formality.

"That's quite alright," she reconciles, "I truly didn't expect you to think of me so... fondly. You'd be surprised how often I wander into a pony's dream to see them living out a similar fantasy. It's perfectly natural."

"Seriously? How many ponies have you caught... er," you choose the next few words carefully, "doing that sorta thing to you? A dream version of you, I mean."

She has a silent intake of breath, ready to answer, but then she freezes on the spot. Her expression takes a turn for the confused and serious, as if she's just been slapped with something invisible.

"I've... seen other ponies fantasize about other ponies all the time," she mutters slowly. "But I've... never seen anypony do it with me before. I think you're actually the first one I've ever witnessed..."

Suddenly, she goes eerily quiet. An unfortunate epiphany; the only individual in Equestria that truly finds her attractive is the only one that never knew her prior to her Nightmare Moon years. No matter how much they say they forgive her, they still have that tinge of fear that freezes their hearts in her presence. Maybe she's still a monster to them.

Luna, her face is as expressionless as an untouched stone, finally talks; "We'll work on your nightmare issue again. I'm free tomorrow evening." Without stopping to say goodbye, she makes her way to your window-pane before effortlessly climbing out of it. "I'm free every bloody evening."

And with that, she's gone. Now you have to spend the rest of your night with your thoughts. You sit back on your bed; standing around isn't so fun when you're missing a leg.

Honestly, it had never occurred to you that no other ponies find her hot. I mean come on, she might have a chilly demeanor, and might seem old-fashioned... and might threaten to melt you with a spell if you ever get in a fight with her... but she's got the smarts, wisdom, powers - not to mention curves - of a goddess! Surely there's somepony out there who'd be a perfect match, right?

Right!?

Three gentle taps echo on your apartment door. That's rare. Out of courtesy, you clip on your nearby tin leg before hobbling to answer it.

"Oh hey, there you are!" a cheerful donkey's face greets you. "I was just wondering if you're still up for that cider bash I mentioned earlier."

In all fairness, you had completely forgotten about his invitation. But at this point, cider sounds good.

"Sure, why not?" you grin, baring your canine canines.

Not five minutes later, and you're being ushered through your friend's apartment door. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the inevitable awkward stares from the ponies within... but as soon as you step into the main room you have to do a double-take.

Jaunty music is playing via a classic record player in the background - not overly loud, but enough to make you notice the soundproofed walls from the outside. Ponies make up only a third of the inhabitants; donkeys, griffons, zebras, buffalo, a minotaur... your canine senses even spot three breezies having way too much fun with a single shot-glass of cider. A pony in the background strikes a pose, then transforms into a completely different pony in a flash of light; a few nearby watchers laugh with the changeling. Someone nearby even mentions a "dragon making homemade popcorn" in the kitchen.

"What a bunch of misfits and freaks we got here," you say aloud. "I love it."

"I figured you'd like it," your donkey friend smiles. "Just remember, you're never really alone out there in Canterlot. Oh, and I'm heading into the dining room to play some poker. Wanna join?"

You turn down the offer. A dog like yourself playing poker? Dogs don't do that sort of thing. That's just crazy talk. Besides, you still want to mingle with these new faces.

*******

A changeling sits to the left of you, sipping just the barest amount of cider from his glass like nectar from a plant. To your right, a full-sized buffalo drains yet another mug and confidently flirts with the nearby ponies. You're honestly surprised with how well he's succeeding at it. Meanwhile, you give a fistful of Bits to the minotaur, who had just offered to do another cider run; a donation to keep the party going.

"I'm glad these sort of parties exist," the changeling hisses, in an accent that could only be described as a-snake-chewing-tinfoil-getting-kicked-down-the-stairs. "There's a lot of acceptance here, which is laced with enough love to keep the hunger away."

"I can't believe it's taken me so long to find a place like this," you reply for the sake of conversation. "It sucks to think that there are still beings out there that who feel alone. Or feared."

Feared. That word alone conjures a hundred ponies' faces in your mind. Ninety nine of then have fear behind their eyes as you pass by on the street. Some are pointing, others are staring, and some simply cross the street from you. One face, however, does none of those.

Luna. She knows what it was like. The Nightmare Moon debacle. You were the only one that didn't know about her past before meeting her.

You entertain the possibility of inviting her to the next cider bash. Nah, she wouldn't even fit in with these folk either, the mixed bag that they are - while these beings are all species and races that cause a second glance on the street, they're not a legend of their own. Not like her. Even among them, she'd still be an outcast.

You could live among these small, but living, breathing cultures of Canterlot easily. But if it meant you'd have to leave Luna by herself?

No one deserves that. All the princess formalities and trinkets in the world cannot stifle loneliness. You learned that much from that accursed diamond.

Your mind's made up. Tipping the rest of your cider down the hatch, you bid no one in particular a good night, and amble for the door. You should get some rest; tomorrow is going to be a little different.

Also, just ignore the fact that you accidentally knocked the record player on the way past it - the whole room noticed the obvious skipping sound.