Paper Macintosh

Today…

I’m going to tell the story of “Starpony Spirits and Good Wishes.”

Far, far away, beyond the sky, way above the clouds. It’s said that there’s a haven where the starponies live.

In the Sanctuary of Star Haven there rests a fabled treasure called the Star Rod, which has the power to grant all wishes.

Using this wondrous Star Rod, the Seven revered Starpony Spirits watched over our peaceful world…

Carefully…very carefully…

And then…Oh dear…What the…?

Who stuck that weird thing into this story?

A jolly voice chuckled, “Aha ha ha ha! That would be me!”

The shadowy figure, accompanied by a pink pony with a violet and white mane wearing a kid’s helicopter hat entered the room of the Star Sanctuary. The Seven Starponies, who all circled the sacred Star Rod, were shocked at the sudden appearance of the blasphemous duo. Going towards the Star Rod, the figure was revealed to be a draconequus.

“With this precious item I will make sure that Equestria falls under my beautiful chaos. Mu ha ha ha! Do it Screw Ball!” The pink pony smiled maliciously and pulled out a wand. She fired it at the Star Rod, causing the invisible force field to shatter. All the Spirits began to panic as the monstrosity grasped the Star Rod.

No! You mustn’t do that!!

“I’m sorry I can’t chat with you all right now, maybe I can give you my card. One for each and every one of you!”  Discord said as Screw Ball pulled out seven cards with blank pictures on them. Using the wish-making tool, the draconequus began imprisoning all of the Seven Starpony Spirits into the cards.

Stop it! Cut it out Discord!! You’re changing the story!!

With them all sealed away, Discord gave a moment to gloat. “Ha ha ha ha…we did it! That was easy as pie!”

“Yes your wretchedness!” Screw Ball answered. They began to evilly laugh together at their success.

...Now starfoals may rise to the Haven to deliver people’s wishes…but those wishes will not come true.

Whatever can they do?

It was morning in the Equestrian Kingdoms capital, Canterlot Town. Outside of this grand city was a lively house. It was the only house in this small area with trees, some pipes, a patio, and a mail box around it. Speaking of the mail box, a grey pegasi with a blonde mane flew down to it. She landed and inserted the mail with her mouth. She was a little sloppy; one letter didn’t go in and fell on the ground. Before leaving she yelled, “Mail Call!”

An orange mare opened the door, which was labeled with “Apple’s House.” The mare wore blue plumber overalls, a green shirt beneath it, and a green cap with the letters “AJ” on-

(“Do I REALLY have to be Luigi in this story?”

Yes Apple Jack. You have to take on his role.

*sigh* ”Can I at least have my old hat?”

Fine…

*Squee!*)

-…Scratch that. She wore a roughed up cowcolt hat. It was that kind of hat that someone would always have no matter how old it got. She walked outside to the mail box to get the usual mail. As Apple Jack closed the boxes door, she noticed that there was a letter on the ground. She picked it up to read and got excited, running inside.

“Big Mac! We got ourselves an invitation from Princess Celestia!” She yelled. A red colt with blue plumber overalls and a red cap containing the letters “BM” came into the room wondering what was up. Before he could say anything, Apple Jack spoke for him. “Here, I’ll read…let’s see…:

I’m throwing a party at my castle today! Macintosh and Apple Jack, I would be honored if you both could attend. Many guests from distant towns are hoping to meet you. There will be tasty sweets and all kinds of entertainment! I hope to see you soon! –

Sincerely, Princess Celestia

“This is fantastic! And it’s a beautiful day to hold such a get together.” remarked Apple Jack.

“Eeyup!” replied Big Mac with a happier look on his face. Princess Celestia threw parties every so often which were packed full of fun. The two were invited all the time; after all, they were considered heroes of the Equestrian Kingdom. Yes these two were plumbers. Very powerful plumbers, who were known for fighting all sorts of crime and saving the world from ridiculous villains.

“She said today.” continued Big Mac. “I wonder if that means we can go right now.”

“Hold your, well, self Big Mac. Let’s scarf breakfast down and get prepped up. This is the Princess after all.” The two happily got their breakfast eaten and began getting ready. It didn’t take long, they weren’t the kind who had to make sure they looked perfect. Soon they were out the door.

The way to Canterlot Town wasn’t through a regular old road or path, but a pipe. These two were known for using sewer pipes to get from place to place; such as from their house to Canterlot Town. The two jumped in and swirled down the giant green tube. Moments later, they popped back out into the radiant sunlight in the middle of Canterlot Town.

The place was always buzzing with different kinds of ponies. You could see some chatting next to a lovely lake or down the streets. Down the streets were various buildings like the old pony shops, regular family houses, and even a Dojo. Beyond that, you could see the Princesses Castle.

Big Mac and Apple Jack enjoyed the sights as they walked toward the Castle. It smelt nice, clean, and there was even the smell of fresh fruit and other goods. You knew a party was happening when you could smell that near Celestia’s home. They said hello to some of the commoners and made a turn near a strange house which had a bizarre roof that spins. The two kept walking, but they still to this day don’t know who owns that place.

Just beyond the Post Office and a beautiful garden were the gates to the castle. The guards who were there recognized the two immediately and opened the gate doors.

“Enjoy the party!” they both said. Apple Jack and Big Mac tipped their hats in thanks and went on through.

The castle was a view to behold. Six big red roofed towers surrounded the perimeter of the castle, the walls were painted a gorgeous white, and above the main door was Celestia’s symbol; the sun. Out in front was a nicely sculptured fountain which the two passed by and a path that went from the gates to the front door. It also continued on towards another place, but that wasn’t where the two were heading for.

Inside many ponies were chatting. Not just average ponies, but ponies from all around. When the letter said ponies from distant towns would be coming, it really meant it. Some ponies were wearing turbans, coming from a place as far as Dry Dry Outpost. Or wearing coats coming from the Shiver region to the far north.

The interior was well decorated with blue drapery and flowers. The checkerboard styled floor was covered with vibrant red rugs leading up stairs and to doors. Chandeliers hung from above, shining light that reflected off the polished floors. The smell of food was inside, but where it was coming from was for the both of them to find out.

The two just stood there to take in that wonderful feel. “I don’t ever get use to this place. It’s just so big and amazing!” Apple Jack said.

“You enjoy your sight-seeing, I’m going to check where that smell is coming from!” Big Mac began going up the steps.

“Don’t worry! I’ll be there in a bit! And say hi to Celestia!” Big Mac went through the doors to find to his dismay that there was no food being served. He was curious as to why and realized that they were a bit early; it was morning after all. He hooved to the other side of the room and looked through the small window in the kitchen door. He could see chefs preparing all sorts of goods like cakes and then-

“Big Macintosh?” a guard poked him to get his attention. He quickly swept his drool for the sweets away and said, “Yeah?”

“Princess Celestia would like to privately chat with you. Just go up in that door.”

“Uh, thank you.”

Big Mac knew the princess; in fact both he and Apple Jack had saved her a few times from peril. So saying they were friends was being very blunt. But why did she want to speak with him privately? Instead of thinking and keeping her waiting, he decided to get on in. He stopped and wondered if Apple Jack would want to come too. He quickly thought about it and realized that Celestia wanted to only privately chat with HIM. Besides, a guard would probably tell her if she needs to come.

He went on in where a fellow pony said howdy to him. Big Mac greeted with a smile and kept going through the hall. Unlike the bigger rooms, the hall had windows that were barred and red couches for the pony folk to rest on if need be. Another guard was at the end guarding the door.

“Hi Big Mac.” he greeted. “The princess just went into her private chambers. She would like to speak to you.” The guard opened the door for him.

“Thanks!” Big Mac said as he went on through. The doors closed behind him and he saw Princess Celestia just down the hall. She was basking in the sunlight that came through the giant windows. She was colored a majestic white all over. She was an alicorn which, as we all should know, have both wings and a horn. She wore a golden crown and ornamental necklace, had a flowing mane that consisted of multiple colors, and most striking was that she was bigger than Big Mac himself.

Big Mac walked up to her and bowed. “Good day, princess.” he said with a slightly nervous tone.

“Good day as well, I’m glad you and Apple Jack could make it.” she replied with her strong voice.

“Thanks. Um, should Apple Jack be in this private chat too?”

“It’s fine. I just need to chat with one of you.” She began going towards the window with her usual calm and happy look. If Big Mac wasn’t red already, you could tell he was blushing at this. She was a very nice mare who did many important things. He was trying to do his best to keep calm and not do anything stupid to embarrass himself in front of her.

She turned to him and got closer. “What I would like to do-“ Big Mac was sweating a little since her face was only a few inches from his. “-is thank you.” She backed up a little.

“M-me?”

“You and Apple Jack, for what you’ve done for the kingdom, the citizens, and me. The both of you have fended off injustices that would harm us, and for that I thank you.”

Macintosh was feeling like jelly at this point. Happy jelly because the Princess gave nice remarks about him and his sister. It was a nice feeling.

“Let’s chat more up on the balcony. The sun will be-“

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The ground was shaking violently! Outside, the earth began to crumble away and trees tumbled into the cracks. It was an earthquake.

Before anyone could really react with any sort of movement, the castle moved itself! But it wasn’t going down, it was going up. Something beneath was rising into the sky, carrying the castle on it. Princess Celestia and Big Mac couldn’t tell what it was by looking outside, but they were going through the clouds fast. Soon you could see stars.

“There are stars out and it’s day time!”

“E-e-eeyup!”

“What could cause this to happen? Not even I’m this powerful…”

The answer to that question came busting through the window. The glass shattered and cold air mixed in. Discord and Screw Ball landed next to them.

“Well, well, well…” went Discord. “So long no see Princess Celestia.”

“Discord! It was you who did this, wasn’t it?”

“Whatever do you mean? Oh, your castle in the sky! Why, yes. It is in the sky, and in my possession now.”

Celestia wanted Discord out of here, but she had no power over him. She may have very big duties using her magic to fulfill, but this was a nail she couldn’t hammer.

“Ma’am, I mean, Princess I’ll handle this!” Big Mac suddenly got in front of Celestia to protect her. Discord frowned.

“Oh, if it isn’t the big, red, and always stereotypical good-doer Macintosh. I see you’re protecting the Princess as usual.”

“I’ve protected her from you before and I can certainly do it again!”

“Yes, well-“

“But to attack now before I’ve gotten anything to eat is just plain RUDE!” Big Mac went in, surprising the lord of chaos himself. He slammed into Discord, throwing him a few feet away. Big Mac went in for a second attack, but was countered by Discord’s tail swipe. It sent him hurdling in front of Celestia. They both got to their feet.

“It’s also plain rude to cut off someone when they’re speaking. Now as I was about to say…” He pulled out a wand like object. The Star Rod. “Oh ho ho! With this, I’ll win for sure!”

Suddenly, the rod lit up and stars shot out of it, surrounding the multi-parted monstrosity. He was glowing a light rainbow color all around. “Now try to see what kind of damage you can dish out on me, if any! Mu haha haa!”

“Be careful!” Celestia warned Macintosh as he got ready to charge. With a mighty dash, he aimed right at Discord. He bounced right off of him in a daze. It felt like he hit solid stone. “Macintosh!”

The two villains were laughing at Big Mac’s dazed looks, with eyes that could be the subject of an mp4 video. Celestia tried to get him out of it, but then-

“Brrrr! It’s cold in here…” said Screw Ball.

“Indeed it is my assistant.” answered Discord. “I have an idea, and it’ll hit two birds with one stone!”

Scorching flames erupted from his mouth. Big Mac was the target, and with his condition, couldn’t avoid it. The heat being so intense injured and knocked him out. Celestia went to him, almost in tears.

“Or maybe I should’ve said ‘with one gigantic flaming breath’ but you get my drift!”  The two evil cretins laughed. Celestia had enough. She began to fire up her magic when Discord waved his wand.

Her horn and wings were gone! She gasped at the situation, now knowing that her power was no more. “See! I truly am the ruler above all. Not even you nor Macintosh can defeat me with the Star Rod of the Star Spirits in my possesion!”

“Congratulations your chaoticness!” Screw Ball laughed.

“Now, to finish the job!” He fired it up again and Big Mac shot out of the window!

“No! Macintosh!!” Celestia cried for a miracle against something that granted wishes. Big Mac was falling from miles above. There was no hope with her powers gone.

“There now Celestia. Now do you believe me when I say I’m the true ruler of your kingdom now?”

“You’ll never rule my kingdom…” She said with her head looking down.

“Tis a shame…guards! Take her to her room!” Some ponies in dull armor came in. It was over.

Although it seems to be the end of Macintosh’s small adventure, the truth is the real one-

-Has just begun…

Paper Macintosh