Paper Macintosh

Sunlight was peaking over the trees in the deep woods. The birds were still chirping their morning songs and it was peaceful all around.

Except one thing; in the woods, in a small area shaded by the trees was our hero. Big Mac was lying flat on the ground, no sign of life in him. He had been defeated by the improved Discord and thrown off Princess Celestia’s Castle miles above the ground.

A fall like that would kill an average pony, but Big Mac was a lot tougher than normal ponies. Never the less, he was gravely injured. Who knows when he might come about, if ever.

Suddenly, a small light began to circle over him. The light was soon accompanied by another, and another. Seven lights hovered over Big Mac and they all became transparent figures of the Starpony Spirits.

The names of the Starpony Spirits are as follow: The eldest Starpony of the group, Starswirl. Sweet and nice Fluttershy. The intelligent gentlecolt, Fancy Pants. Strongest of the spirits, Horse Power. The oh so lovely Fleur de Les. Smart and always running about Doctor Whooves. And the stiff, but warm-hearted deep down, Cranky.

They were all present, or at least spiritually. Fluttershy and Cranky went to the unconscious Macintosh.

“Oh my Goodness!” Fluttershy said worryingly. “He’s gravely injured, but I think he’ll be fine.”

“However, Discord has the Star Rod.” Cranky replied negatively. “Even Big Macintosh won’t be able to stand up to him now. It’s…hopeless.”

Starswirl intervened. “Everypony just calm down. There’s always hope if we cooperate. Now then…” He looked down at Big Mac. Everypony did the same, knowing what they must do. “Our fates in Mac’s hands. We must use what little power we have to revive him. Come on, give him your power!”

With all each could muster, light began to shine more intensely from each one. They each gave the light to Big Mac, but were all exhausted in the process. With the little energy they could give, they all began to disappear. Starswirl was the last one to go.

“Big Mac, wake up. Please, Big Mac…wake…” He was gone. But somepony wasn’t. A small filly with a beige colored body, red mane, and pink ribbon was investigating the area.

“I coulda sworn I heard something fall around here. But all I find is more…!!” She gasped at the sight of Big Mac. “By stars! Is that who I think it is?”

She went closer to get a better look to make sure. “Blue outfit…red body…hat with “BM” on it! Why, it has to be him! It’s Big Macintosh! But…why is he-“ She hit herself and realized he wasn’t well or moving. “I gotta get Grandpa and Spike!”

She ran for help.

Mac…Mac…

…

Big Mac? Big Mac?

BIG MAC!

It was a dream. Big Mac was in his mind, in the darkness of his sleep. There was something there in his mind. A bright pony like figure. He had a long beard, a wizard’s outfit, and was old. He began to speak again.

Big Mac, I am Starswirl the Beared. One of the Seven Starpony Spirits. I must talk to you, for it has to do with the future of Celestia…and all of Equestria…

But I do not have the power to talk at great length…

Please hurry to Shooting Star Summit…There we can talk about the destiny of our world…

Please…Big Mac…we will be waiting…

Slowly, Big Mac began waking from his deep slumber. He opened his eyes and slowly absorbed the reality he was in.

“Huh?” Big Mac got up to push the covers off him. He was in a room on a bed. “Wait…where am I?”

“Hey there!”

“Aaahh!!!” Big Mac said surprised. A light-brown pony with a grey mane was looking over him. The colt was old in age and wore a yellow golf-shirt and a small blue hat. He was checking Big Mac’s head to see if he was well. Big Mac was still startled from the crazy old pony, who was smiling at the Big Mac’s improvements.

“Sorry about that sonny! I didn’t mean to fright ya, but you’re all fixed up now. My name is Mr. Cake.” Mr. Cake walked off into another room for a moment and returned with a cup of water. “So…are you really THE Big Macintosh as my grandchildren say you look like?”

Big Mac took a sip by using his mouth to grab the cup. “That would be me. Where am I anyway?”

“You’re in Cake Village. Although, the only people here are my wife, my son Carrot Cake and his wife Cupcake, and my grandchildren, Apple Bloom and Spike. It’s not very big as you might guess. But what became of you? My granddaughter came to us when she heard a big crash and it turned out to be you. You’ve been lying in my bed for a few days now, but thankfully, you’re healed.”

Big Mac put the cup down. “There was a small celebration at Celestia’s Castle in Canterlot Town. It was all good and fun until…Discord.”

“Really?! Discord? He kidnapped the Princess…again, didn’t he?”

“Except things were different. He’s more powerful now…I…I…” Big Mac closed his eyes, remembering what had happened. “I failed. Discord won.” Big Mac struggled a bit to get up; he hadn’t been on his legs for a while.”

“Easy son…I know you can do it again! Beat ol’ Dis-“

“It’s not exactly as you think, Mr. Cake. It was like…he was invincible.” Big Mac just sat on the bed looking down. The old pony saw that the famous Big Macintosh was up against something bigger than anything he had fought in his life. He had to straighten him out.

“Big Mac…I might not know you personally, but I can see you’ve lost hope after your defeat. This is no time to lose hope! You are a hero! Even heroes can get beaten from time to time, but they must never stray from hope; the key to all things good in life. Maybe this new Discord is more powerful than ever, or even unbeatable. Even so, you, as the hero of Equestria…no, the world! You must find-“

Big Mac put his hoof in the old coots mouth. “A way. Yes, I know. I don’t give up that easy. It takes a lot more than a fall from over five miles above, being scorched by fiery breath, and lack of lunch- no wait…” Big Mac’s stomach roared. “Ummm, you got any food!” They both began to laugh.

“Yes. Give me a moment and I’ll get ya some soup!”

“Wait! Before you go…” Big Mac wasn’t really sure. He had a dream, but it felt so real. “Did you see a pony with a beard and crazy wizard hat inside?”

“Well, I know my sight isn’t the best anymore, but no. But…I do know of somepony who fits that category. He’s a starpony named Starswirl.” Big Mac was more confident that this dream was a message from this Starswirl. Maybe, just maybe this starpony can help him. “Now let me get you some soup!”

“Well Big Mac…” Mr. Cake began. “Before you leave, say hi to the rest of my family. I’ve got to work on the ver- no, wait, veri? Veru? Veruu? Or was it vera-“

“The veranda?”

“HEY! That was my next guess! But yes, good luck to you sonny!”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac went out the door of his house to find the rest of the family.

“Hello deary!” said Cupcake. She was blue with a pink swirly mane and had on a pink and white apron. “I hope you’re feeling better, you must have had an awfully long fall. Are you?”

“Yes, ma’am. Thanks.”

Another old pony, this time a mare, with a light coat, grey mane, pink shirt and glasses slowly crept towards Big Mac. “My, you’re a big fella! You look just like my husband when he was young! And my son when he was that young! He’s getting a bit older now, but it’s too bad we have to age.”

“Aw, shucks.” Big Mac turned red…except that he already was. “I can’t chat for too long though. I have to get going on my journey if I want to save Celestia. Thanks for everything though.”

“It’s our pleasure.” Cupcake gladly replied. Macintosh went over to the gate that Carrot Cake, a cheese colored pony with orange hair, tall build, and wore a white apron and small white hat.

“Well howdy there Mr. Macintosh! I see you’re ready to get going. I won’t stop you on your journey, every moment counts. In fact, I had to fix this old gate hear because of the earthquake yesterday!”

“So, you also felt the earthquake?” Big Mac said astonished. The earthquake Discord created must be tremendous. Although they told him it was only a few hours trip to Canterlot Town from here, the fact that Discord had grown to such power in such short noticed made the situation Big Mac was involved in worse.

“Howdy there big brother!” Apple Bloom said.

(Apple Bloom!

“Yeah?”

He isn’t your brother in the story! Remember your lines!

“…Oh! Whoops!”)

“-Big Macintosh!” Apple Bloom greeted. “Gee are you lucky I found you when I did! You’d been who knows what if I hadn’t fetched my pop and brother!”

Big Mac roughed the cute fillies head. “Thank you very much, Apple Bloom.”

“Yeah! If it weren’t for our help, you might not be standing!” said Spike.

“And thank-“ Big Mac stopped a moment. He was talking to Spike. Spike wasn’t a pony. He was a small dragon. He was small, purple with green scales and eyes, and wore a big blue hat.

Two ponies….together….make one foal…. O

Two ponies….together….make one dragon? X

“-you, Spike. Sorry about that.”

“Oh, what’s the matter?”

“Well, I’m no scientist, but he’s your son, right?” Big Mac looked at Carrot Cake.

“Yeah.” said Carrot Cake clueless.

“He’s a dragon… and you’re a pony. How did he become your son?”

“Oh!” Carrot Cake chuckled. “Well, it all started when-“

“Nehee hee hee hee  hee hee!” interrupted an unwanted ponies voice. They all stopped to look up. Floating in the sky with amusement was Discord’s second in command, Screw Ball. She laughed and lowered herself within ears range.

“Well, well! You really are as strong as they say, Big Mac-“

Apple Bloom interrupted with shock of the bizarre ponies appearance, “Pop! What IS that?”

Screw Ball blew some steam. “My! Insolent little filly! Why I oughta…Listen. I am a beautiful servant and second in command of Discord’s rule! The one and only: Screw Ball!”

“What do you want now Screw Ball?!” yelled Big Mac, wanting to know their plans.

“Aw, yes. Discord has a present for you Big Mac…” She waved her wand to perform a magic trick. A giant block appeared, crushing the gate Carrot Cake fixed beneath it. Their jaws lowered a good four inches. Screw Ball giggled and launched more who knows where.

“There. Let’s see you get pass this! But let me warn you: even if you succeed, you’ll NEVER beat Discord! Waha haa! Wa ha ha ha *cough, cough* HA HA!! You’ll never save Princess Celestia!!” Screw Ball left them be.

“…My fence…” Carrot Cake said in anger. “I just fixed that fence…ponies these days!”

“Mr. Big Mac, sir?” Apple Bloom had big eyes, showing sadness for the shocked Big Mac.

“Do you think you’re able to break that block?” Spike said.

“No, I have a better idea Big Mac.” Carrot Cake answered. “My father has a Hammer that might be strong enough to break this. If you go talk to him, he’s working on the veranda in the back right? He might help you out.”

“That sounds like a great idea to me, thanks.” Big Mac rushed into the house and out on….the….veranda? As soon as Big Mac was out the back door, the back porch was gone!

Oh! Uh, think Big Mac…remember what Pinkie Pie told you about being in midair: you will always be fine until….you look….down….

Big Mac thought….as he looked DOWN. That’s when the cartoon physics stopped applying and he plummeted into the deep canyon. He landed, which hurt a little, but he was completely fine. Although the veranda was not. Now it was just a pile of wood.

“Ow, my aching!-“ Mr. Cake was complaining about his sores from his fall before. Big Mac went to him to make sure he was well.

“Are you okay?”

“Well! It seems I fell down into the gorge here. I heard something crash, and it caused the back to collapse and POOF! Me and the porch are lying down below….and I’m guessing  you forgot to look when you went through the back, right?”

“Eeyup! Listen Mr. Cake, an old bad doer came by your place, and now our path is blocked!”

“You tell me about it! Look!” He pointed at another block that was blocking a path uphill. “The only thing that could break through that-“

“-Is the Hammer! Do you have it? You had it didn’t you?”

“Well, it, sort of, fell somewhere else. I’m still looking for it.” Big Mac took a deep breath. His adventure had only begun, and he was still behind his starting point. But it didn’t matter. He must be the colt everypony needs him to be.

“We better start searching for it.”

“Right!” Mr. Cake followed Big Mac. “The Hammer is made out of wood, and it’s fairly large. It shouldn’t take too long to find.”

It didn’t. After searching through bushes and trees nearby, the Hammer was spotted. Big Mac picked it up with his teeth and found it surprisingly heavy.

“Here, sonny! Let me tell you how to use it! Just bring up your head, turn your head slightly, and pummel the ground!”

“Hrmkay!” Big Mac muffled. He practiced a few times to make sure he got the hang of it. His hits were so powerful that the impacts left small craters.

“Alright Big Mac! I’m very impressed. In fact, I’d say you were almost as strong as me when I was your age! Ha ha!” Mr. Cake laughed as he went ahead, but then-

Oomf!

The old colt was sent flying the other way. “Ow…”

“Who dares trespass the Great and Powerful Trixie’s turf?!” yelled the voice of a blue unicorn with a white glossy mane. “Well, it looks like I’m going to have to teach those who do not respect Trixie! Now prepare to be awestricken by my magic!”

The unicorn prepared to charge. “Oh dear. It’s the NEIGHborhood loud mouth, Trixie. Or ‘the Great and Powerful Trixie’ as she prefers. She is more bark than bite. You can take her out easy Big Mac.”

Before Big Mac could tell either one of them his opinion or anything, Trixie began charging in. Big Mac had to act fast, he dodged her speedy dash. She slowed down and turned around to prepare her second attack. This time, Macintosh was prepared.

“Alright! Get ready to be amazed by the Great and Powerful Trixie’s Great and Powerful Trixie’s Super Charge!”

“Don’t get your tongue tied in a knot.” Big Mac said to himself. The ‘Great’ unicorn began to use her ‘Powerful’ magic to surround herself in a barrier. She charged at full throttle. But she didn’t learn her lesson the first time Big Mac dodged her.

He repeated it, and her magic being as powerful as it is was out of control. She plowed into a tree, dazed, but still wanting to fight.

“You’ll…never…defeat….TRIXIE!” she said with her tongue out.

“Nope!” Big Mac spun her by the horn. She spun so fast she drilled into the ground! “I don’t think she’ll bother us now.”

“You’re right sonny. Let’s head back. Nice job, by the way!” congratulated Mr. Cake. Trixie still had stars around her head when they left.

“I…will have….REVENGE!...........................................................................................I mean it!!”

“Grandpa! You’re back! We were so worried!” Apple Bloom rushed to him as he and Big Mac got back got back from the back path. Spike greeted them as well.

“Yeah! I looked out the back and you and the veranda were gone! I you hurt?” Spike said worried.

“Kids! Kids! I’m fine. Really! I might be old, but I’m tough! I’m back safe and sound. Now, before I forget, I have something I want to give you Macintosh. Wait just a moment!” They all watched him cross the lawn and back into the house.

“I wonder what he’s getting?” Apple Bloom questioned.

“It’s probably something to help you Big Mac.” Spike said. “Do you work out? I’ve been trying to get stronger myself! Look at these babies!” Spike flexed his arms and kissed them, they weren’t big, but Big Mac was actually impresses for a dragon that size to even have muscles. “I study a lot, too! I read the old masters, I listen to a bunch of stuff my Dad and Grandpa have learned.“

“And don’t forget your head bonking! I tell you Big Mac, his head is as hard as a rock!” Apple Bloom mentioned. Spike blushed and used his hast to try and cover it.

“Apple Bloom! You’re embarrassing me…although, it IS true.” Mr. Cake came out of the house with a box. He laid it before Big Mac and opened it to reveal four iron horseshoes.

“Put them on son. These use to be mine when I was younger. My son’s hooves are too small, but I believe you might find them a perfect fit!” Big Mac put them on all of his hooves. The old colt was right, they were perfect fits. Although Big Mac thought that what Mr. Cake said about being almost as strong as him when he was younger was a joke, he now believed that might be possible. And Big Mac is considered one of the strongest earth ponies around!

“Thanks! I…I don’t know what to say.” Big Mac thanked Mr. Cake.

“Then don’t say anything. Keep the Hammer, too. It will be FAR more useful to you than being used to build a veranda! Why, if I was younger, I’d come with you to help…but alas.”

Spike’s expression turned into a sad one at the thought of adventure. “Gee, I wish I could go…”

Mr. Cake thought a moment. “Spike?”

“Yes?”

“You should accompany Big Mac on his quest.”

“Really?! That’s awesome!”

“Hold it.” Big Mac intervened. “I bet he’s strong for a dragon his age, but…do you really think he’s ready?”

“But of course! He knows plenty of things and is only getting stronger and smarter every day.”

“Well…”

“Please?????” Spike begged. Big Mac needed to hurry, but if there was one thing he needed it was help from everyone. It will take everything to help him save Celestia and the world.

“Eeyup.”

Spike was jumping with excitement. “YEAH!! I get to go on an adventure-“

“Hold on sport! Before you go, get prepared and say good bye to your family. All true heroes say good bye to their families before they go on them epic quests!” Spike was thrilled, he ran to the house and started getting prepared. “Don’t worry Big Mac. He’s a fine quality lad!”

After a long good bye to his family, Spike was off with Big Mac on his adventure. Cake Village was like a second home to Big Mac, and he was greateful for their help. He was told that the trip back to Canterlot Town was not too long. They also told him that there was a bridge that they needed to take to cross.

Spike and Big Mac talked for a while. Big Mac was surprised. He thought Spike would be someone annoying, being a small dragon, but he acted more adult than most young ponies, or dragons for that matter. Spike would talk about the different trees and birds around them, telling him about all he knew. It was midafternoon when….

“Spike, I never did get hear.” began Big Mac. “Why are your parent’s ponies, and you a dragon?”

“Well, they told me it all started when-“

“Hold it right their criminal scum!” said somepony with a scrawny voice.

“Eh, Snips? Wrong game.” another pony said with his own more slow voice.

“Oh, whoops! HIYA!!” Two ponies jumped from the wilderness. They were both unicorns, one being short, light blue, with an orange mane. The other was tall, yellow, and had a greenish mane. Both were standing in front of Spike and Big Mac, preventing the way forward.

“We have orders from King Gustav to take down anyone named Big Mac!” said Snips.

“He certainly fits the description Snips!” Snails replied. “We can take him, and the little dragon!”

“HEY! Back off!” Spike answered with a fierce look. Big Mac pulled out the Hammer and began moving towards them.

“Bring…it……..on?” Snips & Snails said as Big Mac towered over them.

“Nope!”

BAM! BAM!

“Retreat!”

“Get King Gustav!!” They ran down the path in pain, the same way Spike and Big Mac were headed.

“Uh-oh, looks like they’re getting their boss.” Spike worried.

“Then we better get going.” They continued down the path until all the trees began disappearing. There was a large canyon up ahead. “This is where the bridge is supposed to be, isn't it?”

“It should be here…Big Mac, what’s THAT?” They looked forward. Up the path was a small fort made out of stone. “I don’t ever remember that being here last time. I don’t see the bridge, either!”

“We better knock!” Big Mac and Spike ran to the fort. The door was locked, so they tried knocking.

A very frenchy voice from many feet above rang out. “Who is it?”

“Big Macintosh!”

“And Spike! We demand to pass through!”

“Ah! So it is true!” From above the wall, the sight of Snips & Snails could be seen. In between them was a larger than average griffon with a twisted mustache and crown. It was none other than King Gustav! “You have come far and for that I respect you.”

“Well thank-“Spike tried to say, until Gustav cut him off.

“But don’t think I’ll play any games with you underdog league types! For I am the Great and Powerful King Gustav!!-“

Somewhere, deep within the forest, Trixie was sleeping off her defeat from Big Mac. Suddenly, she felt a great disturbance. It was as if someone had stolen something precious from her. She tilted her head up, blinked twice, forgot about it and went about to sleep.

“-Now go away or I’ll say words that will cut you like warm butter to a knife!”

“Yeah! You tell him boss!” Snails laughed.

“They’re quivering! Look! Ha ha ha!” Snips, also laughing. Spike and Big Mac just stood there, waiting for them to stop laughing.

“Can we go through now?” Asked Big Mac.

“I don’t want to talk to you know more you mud ridden hoof licker! You collection of cooperating mounds of ‘pony dung’! I laugh at your love and tolerance!! Your father was a bed wetter, and your mother liked the smell of it!!.....”

They all just stood there, absorbing what had just happened. It might just be possible that they all had witnessed the first time these words were ever spoken in the universe.

Gustav stuck his tongue out and made the farting noise. “Ttttttbbbbbthhhhhhh!!”

Big Mac decided he had enough. He was going to the side of the building. “Mac? Hey, where are you going?” Spike wondered.

“HAH! Quitting so early?! Come on, you’re just in time for another round of taunting!” They all laughed at the ‘heroes’ below. Big Mac had found something in the side yard next to them. A big blue switch, which was as OBVIOUS as Big Mac is red. “Oh…..ah…..about that. Don’t turn that switch on! I’m warning you! You touch that and you will be cursed a thousand curses, and each one of those curses will cause another thousand curses, and each one of THOSE curses will-“

“I already hit it.” Big Mac said, suddenly leaning on the Hammer eating and apple, owning the place. Spike also decided to have an apple.

“You….y-you WHAT?!!” King Gustav and his followers began to panic as the building began to break apart. Snips & Snails jumped out and ran away. “COWARDS!! WE NEVER SURREND-“

The building exploded, sending Gustav flying far, far away to who knows where. The remaining parts of the fort turned out to be the original bridge. It popped out and back into its rightful place.

“Wow. I wonder what the point of that was?” Spike amusingly asked Big Mac. They both laughed at the misfits that tried to stop them.

“I have no idea. Hopefully, they've learned their lesson. But let’s get to Canterlot Town before dark!” They both ran over the bridge to get through the last stretch of their walk to Canterlot Town. But even as they walk, Discord and his followers are watching closely behind. Hurry Big Mac and Spike. Hurry.