The Barely Recovered and Possibly Suspect Lab Notes of Twilight Sparkle

  I am unsure of why I continue to write these due to the secrecy of my work. If I, Twilight Sparkle, have my way then these documents will never see the light of day. I am continuing my research into the psychic field that I have hypothesized exists because of ponies with a similar sense of clairvoyance that is exhibited by Pinkie Pie. I have long been a skeptic of the controversial "Pinkie Sense" but in light of recent events I have been forced to investigate the matter further.

  I have given up my direct studies of Pinkie Pie due to comical amounts of injury. Now I hire out vagrants on the street to order from Sugar Cube Corner and observe the actions of Pinkie at her workplace. So far I have had zero accounts of "Pinkie Sense" but the sales at Sugar Cube Corner have gone up by 10% this quarter thanks to my efforts.

  After drying up my funds on the bills of my many diners, I decided to try and tap into the theoretical psychic field myself. I started from the little data I collected when I had Pinkie hooked up into my EEG scanner. After days upon days of consideration I finally made the conclusion that "Pinkie Sense" directly correlates to spikes of higher brain activity.

  Using this conjuncture, I tried to stimulate areas of my own brain in order to tap into the psychic plane. First, I tried stimulants the most common of which was regular coffee. After a personal record of fifteen straight cups of coffee I was unable to produce any of the signs of "Pinkie Sense" but instead I suffered from a huge caffeine crash that required emergency resuscitation from my faithful assistant, Spike. I may be the first to note in hundreds of years that dragon breath smells like old garbage.

  I took another look at the data I gathered from Pinkie and realized that she does not have the brain activity of the average equine. In fact, she has almost damaging levels of activity in all areas of the brain going off constantly. The ability to step inside that mind of hers would be almost indescribable.

I made a new conjuncture, unusual brain activity correlates directly with "Pinkie Sense" instead of spikes of higher brain activity.

  The amount of exotic mushrooms that I borrowed from Zecora should have been enough to produce minimal hallucinations yet still provide enough unusual brain activity to tap into whatever "Pinkie Sense" is. I obviously miscalculated the accurate dosage because I spent the next few days trapped in what seemed to be a horrifying high school anime. Although I can mark the unusual brain activity theory as a failure; I have a few ideas of how to market a race of bipedal, furless creatures in foal's television.

  Finally, I realized that I was out of ideas and I quit my studies of the mysterious "Pinkie Sense" whatever it was.

This Month's Expenditures

  *500 bits on restaurant bills.

  *20 bits on 4 bags of coffee

  *3 bits on Mouthwash

  *7 bits on "I Love Shrooms" shirt

  *38.5 hours of my life wasted

  Total: 530 bits spent for science.