Crystal Clear

A great number of ponies sat in anticipation. For a long time, they have waited in PRISIM Studio's chairs - so long that they shook the building with their rumbling hollers as the lights overhead flashed on the stage and the show's theme played.

Sombra walked up the staircase, smugly rubbing his chin which now bore a small black beard. He stroked his new facial hair until he took his seat on the one-person couch.

"Welcome, subjects…" said Sombra. "To Crystal Clear. I am your host, Sombra." Sombra took his hoof off of his chin and leaned back. "Yes. I think this beard does make me look a few centuries younger Today, we'll be giving away a special prize to an audience member with us here.

Last week's episode was very fun for me. We all got to meet two of the most prominent figures in the world and see them at their best…"

The image on the display screen was currently that of Discord, riding his motorcycle.

"…And at their worst..."

The image shown now was a picture of an out-of-control Celestia with her hooves around Sombra's neck which was accompanied by laughter of the audience.

"Now there is a pony without a sense of humor. Even the Lord of Disharmony had the courtesy to show his appreciation."

Sombra then pulled out two parchments from beneath his chair that he unraveled and read aloud the first one.

"Sombra, thank you for having me on the show. I learned a lot from you, I've had a blast being on the show, and you've helped "My Sunshine" become a best-seller in Cloudsdale and Baltimare. The hopes for a movie doesn't seem so impossible now." Sombra paused briefly to let the studio audience express their curiosity. "You've reopened several doors for me as well as many new ones. I can't thank you enough. Keep up the good work. Discord."

A short applause followed the closing of the letter.

"Now, in an unexpected turn, Celstia has sent me a letter as well.

Sombra switched out the parchment and read:

"Dear Sombra… Get bent. From Celestia."

Sombra put both letters away.

"Well," He said. "Now I know who shall receive a fruit basket from the king." He took a short pause to let the cheers subside.

"You see, there is a big difference between the alicorns and me. We both had very different styles of management, I admit, but while I was in charge, I increased the work productivity, oversaw mining projects… stairs. The important thing is that you saw something being done. You don't quite see that with the alicorns.

Think about it… When was the last time it rained? Those pegasi definitely could use a little attention. And have you noticed there's less guards around in the Crystal Empire now? I wouldn't be surprised if the princess's crown gets stolen. Are we just paying the alicorns to give the Wonderbolts nice suits? Because I can't see anything else they're doing with our bits.

You see, I like to know what I'm paying for, which brings me to my first guest, somepony I'm comfortable paying. I like to call her one of my favorite mares. Why? Because she makes my booze. Everypony, please welcome…Applejack."

An orange earth-pony wearing a crescent brimmed hat walked onto the long steps on the side of the stage. This marred bowed her head in response to the welcoming crowd, apparently used to attention. When she got to her seat, she finally got a good look at Sombra.

"Ya' got a little sum thin' on yer face." she said.

Sombra growled slightly, but maintained his composure.

"Applejack, I understand your family's business in Ponyville is the major provider of cider to Equestria, right?"

"Yes, siree!" Applejack grinned. The viewing ponies jeered, rewarding her for her production of drinks. "Things're real great at home since we've figured out bottling like two or three years ago."

"Applejack, how does it feel knowing that Celestia is most likely watching this, drinking your cider?"

Laughter followed.

"Well, I'm just happy we've been coin' much more than just makin' ends meet. The family's got to donate plenty to the local foals' school in Ponyville."

Sombra turned toward his audience.

"See? Booze is good for foals."

Sombra gave his signature laugh as spectating ponies chortled. He, however, stopped and a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his head when he saw his manager worringly shook his head, moving his hoof across his neck several times.

"I'm just kidding! I'm just kidding!" Sombra said. "PRISIM does not condone of children drinking."

The manager wiped his brow and held out a hoof indicating his satisfaction.

"So Applejack, does your family provide any products aside from cider?"

Applejack's faced lit up.

"Oh! We also do apple pie, apple juice, apple butter, apple fritters…" And so the farmer kept naming apple-based products - many of them sounding as if they shouldn't be made out of apples at all.

The manager motioned at his wrist, indicating to Sombra that they had to proceed with the show.

"…Apple sandwiches, apple wood, apple dust - "

"Uh, Applejack?" said Sombra. "Is that your colorful friend eating a pear back there?"

"Rainbow Dash!!!" Applejack yelled. She immediately and angrily jumped up out of her seat. She straightened her hat and stormed out heading backstore. "You broke the blood pact!!!"

As the crowd softly clapped as a security guard followed her.

"Talk about a one trick pony." Sombra said.

He was responded with absolute silence.

"Okay, I need a drink now… Right now, I'm thirsty for a more refined drink, being the high class unicorn I am. I think I'll have a drink with our next guest. She's another mare all the way from Ponyville. Please welcome our next guest… Berry Punch."

Sombra levitated a small table with a bottle of wine and two glasses sitting on the top in front of the chairs.

An earth-pony with a coat the color of grapes stumbled onto the stage -- her cheeks currently the color of cherries. With the crowd of ponies giggling, Sombra patiently waited, thinking nothing of the mare's strange behavior. She eventually made it onto the stage and sat (or fell as the case would be) down on the other couch.

Sombra poured himself a glass.

"You see fillies and gentle colts, Berry Punch here is the one who made the recipe for the drink 'Forbidden Fruit' . Could you tell us how did you come up with this recipe?"

Before he could give the sauced mare a glass, she took the bottle instead and drank from it. She wiped her mouth and began.

"You see, I'm the sole survivor of my hoc home planet. " Berry Punch began. "My parents on my home planet foresaw… the end! They only had enough time to build a small spaceship big enough for me." At this point, the audience was having trouble withholding their chortles. Sombra, however, was leaned forward deeply invested. "They blasted me off here before the whole planet exploded hic and so I landed here where my new parent found me with the recipe for 'Forbidden Fruit'."

Sombra put down his glass.

"I'm sorry to hear this." Sombra said. "Have you ever considered writing your story?"

"No, no, no… If I do that, every pony will know that I'm Super-Mare."

"I knew it!" screamed a filly in the stands.

"Quiet, Berry Pinch! We're talking right now!"

"Well, thank you for being so strong for us." Sombra said.

Berry Punch took a sip from the bottle. Her body was swaying now. She chuckled.

"Wow. You're sooo good looking." Berry Punch, said trying to look him straight on. "I love that beard."

"Thank you. You know, you're such a beautiful, eccentric mare yourself."

A mass of Ooh's sounded. Sombra looked away from the attractive mare at his manager. He held up a cue card. It read "She's drunk, moron!". Sombra's face then became as red as Berry Punch's cheeks.

"Guards!" Sombra said. "Take her away!"

Two security guards trotted up to Berry Punch and guided her backstage. Sombra quickly downed the rest of his wine and paused to rub his face, sighing, resolving to make sure the next guest wasn't an earth-pony.

"Digressing to the subject of running a nation, I would like to introduce the book of the week: 'The Queen and I'."

A book cover of a long line of changelings was diplayed on a screen behind him.

"This story is the biography of Queen Chrysalis, a… friend. Switchback writes a very educational story of the queen's rise to power. And about…" Sombra took out a book to read the summary on the back. "…'How the attack in Equestria was not our fault'."

Sombra put away the book and the screen behind him faded to black.

"Now, before I end the show it's time for the giveaway!"

Sombra pulled out of his pocket, an iron charm with a sinister-looking ruby embedded in its center.

"This is the Alicorn Amulet. This is known to give the wielder the ability to bring ruin and devastation. And this is going to ticket number…. 37034!"

A ginger maned filly with a lisp and glasses in the audience bounced up and down waving her ticket in the air, cheering.

A blue unicorn with silver hair stood up, pointed, and roared.

"You suck, Sombra!" she yelled.

"BANISH HER TO THE MINES!" Sombra roared.

Another security guard came to take the unicorn away (to the security office of course) as she called "You haven't seen the last of Trixie!"

The filly walked onto the stage and put on the amulet.

"What's your name?" Sombra asked.

"My name is Twist."

"Well, Twist, do you have anything you would like to say?"

Happily, Twist looked at the camera and for a brief moment, her eyes flashed red.

"I can't wait to go to school Monday!"

"Well everypony, hearts were broken and dreams were made today --  Just another Friday night. Tune in next week… OR PERISH!"

As the band played the signature somba music, Sombra disappeared in a cloud of black smoke and credits rolled across the screen.