Paranoia

The constant glare of my computer screen burned my eyes. I leaned back in my chair, safe and sound in my underground home.

I watched the pair, two gay ponies, slowly dance around the point. One way laying across a bed, his back towards the second. I felt my chest heat up as the second lifted himself onto the bed, spooning the first. I adjusted my camera, bored through their wall and watching them without their knowledge. "Come on...do it...." I whispered, sliding my hand under my sweater and to my chest. I watched, rapt, as the second stallion reared back, sliding his thick equine cock along the taint and balls of the first. "You son of a bitch...do it." I whispered, leaning towards my screen.

The stallions breathing filled my headphones, leaving my head buzzing as the two went at it. I bit my lip hard, nearly drawing blood as the second stallion prodded the first. A low, smooth moan filled my ears as the wet sound of lubed up horse cock slapped loudly against flank. "Oh god yes." I dug my nails against my chest, scratching me deep. "Go- go--"

I was cut off by an amazing loud buzzer. I kicked my screen power, turning it off and snapping around to the pitch black room. "...Who--" The buzzer went off again, a small light at the end of the door waiting for me. "Stupid buzzer." I stood up, walking off towards the dim light. I tripped over boxes of food, still to be discarded. My monitoring room was an absolute mess, made all the worse as I flipped the lights on. The carpets I hung from the concrete walls were dusty and stained, and the huge desk spanning the largest wall was covered in crap and food. I'd acquired a taste for the fake vegetarian Mc Donalds Equestria had, and the paper boxes scattered around were no truer testament.

I walked up to the plastic speaker box, pressing the button and leaning in. "Hello, what do you want?" I asked quickly, already leaning towards the door and the panic button.

The speaker crackled to life. "I'm answering you ad, Mr. Harkon?" The voice was extremely proper, punishing me for my crude speech. "Hello?"

I pressed the button again, looking back towards my screens and spotting a grey mare waiting outside my security door. "Did you bring it?"

The mare shifted around. "I did, along with all the information you request--"

"You look fancy, why are you even here?" I asked sharply, hand starting to hurt from holding the button down. "My last courier was a drug addict, you, I can tell you're not."

The mare looked up at the camera. "This is rather silly...I'd be happy to explain it in person--"

"No!" I screamed, my raspy voice annoying to my own ear. "No. I don't go outside."

The mare looked at the camera again, cocking her head.  "I suppose that would explain the steel door...."

I nodded, quickly realizing the futility of the gesture. "It's safe inside. Now answer, why are you--"

"Because it's on my way home and I'm trying to save up for a rifle." She flipped her neatly styled mane. "You have no idea how hard it is to have someone make a rifle for a pony."

I stared at the crappy carpet I hung from the wall, the worn out red patterns bugging me suddenly. "Believe me, I know." I swallowed hard. "...Wait there." I finally let go of the button. The buzz finally stopped, leaving me to hurry through the cold, bare, corridors of my bunker. I ran from the monitoring room, past the storage and maintenance. I slipped through my rec room and towards the antechamber. I snapped into the control room, blocked off by a sheet from the internal airlock.

I could see the mare through thick one way glass. She was pretty, wearing a bright pink bow tie and carrying two thick saddlebags. I looked to her front, spotting my door. "Okay...gonna open the first door." I pressed a button, watching the first door slide open slowly. The mare looked up at the speaker once again. "Just put it in there, and we're gonna be fine. I'll put the bits in there before you leave, okay?"

The mare looked around the concrete entry, eventually looking towards the airlock. "This all seems a bit much."

"Never enough." I shot back, keeping my free hand over the dimly lit panic button. "Now put the stuff in there...and wait. If you don't like it, leave."

The mare shook her head. "This seemed so unassuming on the application." She walked in, my eyes wandering to her back side as she tossed a bag into the airlock. "There, now--"

I cut her off, slamming the outer door shut. "Stay there." I bolted down from the control panel, hitting the button to open the interior lock. The inner door slid open, revealing a greasy paper bag sitting on the floor. "...Put it on the table next time." I grumbled, scooping up the bag and walking back to the control room. I sorted out the application and set it down. "Alright, give me like five seconds--"

"It's rather cold in here." The mare stated, shifting hoof to hoof. "Perhaps you could hurry?"

I grumbled again, pulling a few bits from a safe under the controls. "Fine, Octavia." I rolled my eyes, "Weird name--"

"I can still hear you!" She shouted, spinning around the room, looking for the proper place to look. "Honestly, nopony should be this cautious. Maybe a diamond dog...living underground like a vole or a rat."

I threw a small bag of bits into the airlock and sealed it back up. "So?! Maybe I want to be a dog, or rat, or whatever the hell a vole is!" I ran back to my control room. "God, so judgmental!" I started the machines again, watching the outer door unlock. "There, just like I promised."

The mare finally spotted me, glaring at me through the thick glass. "Really are hiding something, aren't you?" She walked into the middle area, grabbing the bag. "Oh...it's heavier than I expected--"

"Money isn't an issue." I stated clearly. "Money is never an issue." I turned to the hall back to the homosexual stallions. "Outside is the issue. Evil, magic, crazy outs--"

"Well thank you." Octavia called out, leaving me to run back to the window. "It's rather generous."

I stared at the mare, watching her leave. "Yeah...you two...." I quickly realized the stupidity of that statement, letting it linger in the air like the disgustingly thick smell of hay. "...God damn it." I dug my hand into the greasy bag. "Three hundred bits for a burger. Economy must have collapsed already." I crumpled the bag up and tossed it to the floor. "I should record those two...immortalized in sudden butt sex."

I chuckled to myself, hurrying along towards my main room. The rugs and crappy desk calling me back. The smell of the burger cut the smell of dust, leaving me quite content with my various videos. I sat back in my chair, tucking my legs up onto the edge and watching the predictable closet couple cream pie each other. The springs squeaked as I sat down, the moaning and groaning from the stallions adding to the pleasure in my mouth.

I took a deep breath, the air exaggerating the flavor of the burger as the second stallion stuffed the first deep. I grabbed my headphones again, pulling them on tight and flooding my head with pure passion. I felt my cheeks heat up, my entire body tensing up as the moans grew higher and higher. I had no idea who these two were, but they would always get the same hotel room, always have the same awkward lead up, but finally they would dick each other so hard one of them actually slept in the crappy room.

I watched the pair go stiff, the second twitching and gently thrusting as the first's mouth popped open. "There's the money shot." I whimpered, pushing my finger into my mouth. I bit my knuckle, slowly turning off their feed. I took a deep breath and backed up, my chair rolling sloppily along the uneven bunker floor. "Warm goo...everywhere, oh god...." I leaned against the wall with my back, the carpets rough against the back of my head. "I wish I could smell it."

I took a deep breath, reaching out and flicking on a new hotel room with my toe. Another gun dealer, selling cheap Dodge guns to some plonky teenage colt. "Oh great...you again." I rolled over to the desk, grabbing my phone. "Magic...pff, can't even stop this crap, you're not magic." I mumbled, watching the colt try to hold a magnum with his hooves, failing over and over again like an idiot. "Ponies...stupid ass ponies."

I waited for the connection to go through my proxy, never safe enough from the possibilities of getting caught. I continued to watch the screen, spotting the door opening. A black maned mare strolled in, carrying a cello case behind her. "Oh...shit." I mumbled, watching the mare stroll over with the bits I'd just given her. "Oh sh- wait.... She said that's what she would get." I stopped myself, my paranoid mind conjuring up images of a deadly assassination behind that proper look. "No...she would have put it in the bur--" I snapped my head upright. "Oh shit, she would have put it in the burger!"

My heart beat out of my chest as I realized how close I could have come, or possible was, to death. "You bitch! I'll fucking- I'll- something!" I screamed, leaning forward. The mare was chatting up with my arms dealing griffon. "You son of a- uh...." I looked down, finding my burger in my hand, missing more chunks than when I'd started panicking. "Oh...." I leaned back in my chair.

I watched the mare and the griffon talk, my eyes fixated on the purple eyed mare. The sound was broken, the sounds of wet smacking and heavy breathing still fueling my heart as I stared at her. She was cute.

"... What the hell did I just think?" I looked down at the burger. "... No- maybe.... Probably not but maybe." I set the burger down, contemplating the taste of mind altering drugs. "Maybe it's some magic, something like- no, they can't go through concrete." I rubbed my chin hard, still watching the mare. "And no horn." I leaned in, "Unless she broke it off." I got on my knees, still planted in my chair. "Can they do that?"

Octavia argued with the griffon, parts laid out over the bed. "Hello? Canterlot guard, how can we assist?"

"Oh bitchtits!" I snapped, grabbing my phone. "Hello?"

"Yes, hello, Canterlot guard, how can I help you?"

I rubbed my chin hard, staring at Octavia with one eye. "Um...there's a, thing going on." I tapped my fingers against the desk, watching Octavia barter, bits hitting the bed spread. "In... the... hotel--"

"Sir, are you in need of assistance?" The operator asked, obviously growing impatient.

"Yes... I... am...." I rolled my words, trying to drag out the time. "Go... ahead... and fucking leave you bitch." I slipped up, shouting towards Octavia. "God damn it!"

I could hear the operator sigh. "Prank calls aren't tolerated, we're going to be dispatching--"

"Damn it!" I slammed the phone down. "Now someone is going to get arrested!" I turned towards Octavia, watching her look over the parts. Her smooth grey coat rustling slightly as she leaned in. "Should have called." I crossed my arms, still watching Octavia. I looked her up and down, the mare a bit taller than most, with thin legs and slightly longer fetlocks. Her hooves were well filed, everything about her read class, save the dingy hotel room and the guns.

I sighed deeply. "I don't think you poisoned me. No, would have blown me up." I leaned back in my chair, hearing whimpers as the stallions parted. "What's up with the cello case, isn't it supposed to be a violin, something not conspicuous?" I asked the world, realizing how much I was talking to myself. "Ugh, I need a nap."

I continued to watch Octavia, even tuning out the gay stallion drama in the other room. The room went silent save the whirl of computer fans and the idle buzz of my headphones. "...Leave so I can go take a nap." I demanded, watching Octavia pack up. "Come on, get the hell out of there."

I rubbed my face, turning around in my chair and nearly wrapping the cord around my neck. "Why the hell won't you leave!?" I shouted, spinning around and around. "And why am I worried? This is crap, pony crap."