Paranoia

I stood off with a white maned stallion in a coat. "So...you're her?" His voice was like gravel, but with a strange laziness to it. "Hmm, Octavia always did have odd taste...." He walked around and looked me up and down. "Thinner than the others.... Not sure how I feel about that...." I let out a short yelp as he nipped at my pants and pulled them up. "Your posture is bad... it's making your pants ride up." I felt something press against my spine and force me an inch taller. "There...." He walked around my front and looked me over one last time. "...The last one was a griffon...." He smiled at me, eyes never more than half opened. "I always did like the softer bodied races, Griffons and pegasi are always too tough."

I bit my lower lip and brought my hands together over my mouth, knuckle against my front teeth. "Mr. Melody?"

He nodded slowly. "Concerto." He bowed his grey head, his coat a soft melt of grey and pale purple. "Oh...and no, it's not dyed, it's not natural...." He turned around and wrapped his tail around my leg. "Age likes to change our appearance, I simply hope that isn't how your hair naturally grows...."

I rubbed my still oddly cut hair. "Uh, this is-- Like, can you read me a bed time story later?"

Concerto stopped dead and turned back to face me, blocking me from the dining room. "A story...? Why?"

I felt like a schoolgirl bashfully asking a teacher for actual help. "Just, your voice."

He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "Ah.... Octavia enjoyed it too. Glad to see there are still some of the younger generation who aren't completely jaded...."

The paused between his words, the sound of him breathing, had I not just been prepackaged I would have been in bed within seconds. "So, I'm dating your daughter or something.... But like, if it doesn't work out, can you still just talk to me?"

Concerto popped an eyebrow. "As what...?"

I slumped forward slightly. "I don't know. Friend? Fake grandpa?"

Concerto walked up to me and poked me in the stomach. "Posture...."

I straightened out and rolled my shoulders. "Sorry."

He nodded slowly and turned around. "It's fine.... And, we'll see.... I already have three to look after, but I suppose I could donate time to someone so obviously appreciative of my voice...."

I felt my eyes burn heavily in a flash. I rubbed my eyes, finding them slightly damp. "Oh my god, why am I crying?" I cleared my eyes with the back of my arm and took a deep breath. "I'm not sad or anything, I just started freaking crying!" I laughed a single burned out laugh and huffed. Concerto was still looking at me, even, calm.

"Are you alright...?"

I felt my eyes burn again. "I don't know." I pinched my nose. "This has never happened to me--"

Concerto reared up, standing a bit taller than me on two hooves. "Listen...." He reached out and put a hoof on my shoulder. "You're fine.... And, if anything happens in there, understand... it's unrelated to you...." He reached up and gently placed his hoof on my forehead. "Now you are a guest, and while it is not my home, I will make sure you are treated like every other one of Octavia's marefriends.... With kindness, dignity, and privacy...."

I felt like flopping onto the floor. The sheer slow paced kindness being slid onto me was overpowering. My stomach was in a tight, queasy knot, my head was spinning, and yet I felt completely centered around the hoof on my forehead, being overseen by the stern purple gaze of Octavia's father. "...I- I love you."

Concerto nodded and dropped back to four legs. "I'm glad. Now, it's lunch, and you're about to witness something interesting.... Just keep what I said in mind, and understand that this is normal.... Okay?"

For a few moments, I felt cheated that this pony wasn't my full blood father. "Okay."

Concerto turned around and wrapped his tail around my hand. "Follow me then.... Enjoy the show by the way...."

I scratched my head as I entered the dining room, a long table full of the kids I'd seen before and Octavia's mother. I was lead to a seat next to Octavia herself. "Maine, are--"

I leaned over head to head with Octavia in a mere moment. "Octavia...your dad is awesome."

She looked at me and leaned away. "You got along I take it?"

I nodded quickly. "He promised to read me a bed time story."

Octavia stared at me for a few moments before looking away. "You know, it is weird of you to ask him, but you're not the first." She leaned back in her chair and huffed. "You'll have to explain that later, nopony else ever did."

"Excuse me! You're at a dinner table-" Octavia's mother hit the underside of the table, causing her plate to jangle. "-stop whispering."

I cleared my throat and faced forward. Things went quiet as the children across from me ate, secretly sneaking a few looks at me when they could. "So... can I ask why you have three kids?"

Octavia dabbed her mouth with a napkin, fresh hay already torn from her plate. "Mother? Would you like to explain?"

Metronome coughed roughly. "Of course. Maine, there is--"

"She knows why you're raising them." Octavia tapped her plate with a hoof. "I think she's more curious about the why, and I'll go ahead and assume, the species question would come up as well."

I quickly realized what Concerto meant by, show. I looked over to him, he simply nodded slowly. "Oh boy...."

Metronome shook her head. "There's no need for hostility!" She turned to me, eyes closed. "Maine, dear, my daughter decided to go without a male half, obviously. And...there--"

Octavia lifted a glass to her lips, holding it in that strange pony way. Hooves somehow grasping from nothingness. "She doesn't approve of my being a lesbian."

I felt my stomach twist up. "Oh, I uh.... I see."

Metronome rolled her eyes. "Oh it's not that. I mean, yes, I was disappointment that mother didn't raise you--"

"Don't you blame grandma for this!" Octavia slammed her hoof against the table. "You always blame her!"

Metronome nodded angrily. "Yes, I do! But not for your sexual problem, but for your being a butchdike!"

I scooted back in my chair noisily. "Oh-kay-den."

"Really!?" Octavia stood up, resting two hooves on the table. "At dinner? It couldn't even wait?!"

I looked towards Concerto, his calm look easing my fraying nerves as the two mares lit the air on fire. "No, apparently it couldn't!" Metronome turned to me. "I have nothing against her life choices--"

"Still not a choice." Octavia groaned, rubbing the table with her hoof.

"But! I do dislike her absolute bulldog approach to it!" Metronome turned to Octavia's kids. "She didn't even want to have any children! I had to make her!" My stomach was about to explode. "I explain everything, keeping the family alive, about her sister and--" Metronome held her hoof out and took a deep breath. "And then she comes home with these two." She pointed to the two satyr kids, the pair blissfully eating their food, ignoring the ruckus. "What--"

"It was my choice, I made promises!"

Metronome nodded to Octavia. "Yes, yes you did. And in the end you finally took responsibility." She turned back to me. "She brought home a happy healthy pony foal, just for me."

Octavia slowly sat down. "I really wish I hadn't--"

"Must you be an incessant, blunt force, butch all the time!?"

"If you call me butch one more time I will kick you out!"

I looked to Concerto, he'd already got the kids out of the room and was looking to me for the rescue. I slipped away from the fighting mares. "Running running running." I raced over and out of the room, barely a spoonful of soup in my belly. Concerto was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for me to speak. "Oh my god. That was a fucking mess!"

Concerto nodded. "I did say to enjoy the show...." He turned to the doorway. "This happens a lot.... My wife wants Octavia to be more feminine, Octavia misinterprets, it turns into a terrible mess each time...."

I sucked in air past my tongue. "Well, a wordsmith your wife is not. Brute force, butch. That's rough."

Concerto nodded. "They fuel each other.... Metro likes to show she's in control around Octavia's marefriends... they butt heads... then I have to take the children to a park for a few hours.... I'm sure you'll enjoy it though...."

I felt my insides quiver. "Ah, what?" I rubbed my stomach. "You're--"

Concerto nodded. "What is it? She always says...it's something like, Dike? I'll show you dike! Then the house shakes or somepony starts screaming...."

I felt my throat tighten up. "How many times--"

"A lot...." He turned to the counters and pressed his forehead against it. "Oh...and their story is mostly true. Kids are raised by their grandparents in our family... Octavia wasn't planning to have kids, we talked her into it. She showed up with the uh, obvious ones, and there was a whole long fight about pony foals." Concerto shrugged. "My wife just wanted another Octavia...she still wants an Octavia of her own. I think there in lies the problem with her tradition...."

I bit my tongue. "Sounds rough."

Concerto cocked his head slightly. "They just need to yell it out, then let off some steam in their own ways.... My wife uses a violin bow until it breaks, and Octavia... asserts herself."

I felt my throat go dry. "I'm gonna be involved in that, aren't I?"

"I wouldn't know.... You're dating her, that's as far as I'm involved...." He turned to the door. "Now...I'm going to pick up ice cream on the way back, did you want some...?"

Again, nineteen years had I been cheated out of this man. "Yes please."

Concerto nodded. "I'll find out what humans like.... Oh, and welcome to the family. Don't know how long you'll be around, but it's been a pleasure already."

"Can you just be my dad?" I held my arms out. "Like, permanently."

Concerto laughed softly, the deep husky voice sending shame through my hips. "Oh my.... Ask Octavia...she is getting older, maybe she'll finally settle down."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, wow, I didn't mean like--"

"I'll show you a bulldog! Maine!?"

Concerto smiled at me. "We'll talk later.... I'll actually introduce you to the kids when you can walk again...."

"Auegh." I clutched my lower stomach. "You're not giving me much confidence!"

He shrugged. "I wasn't trying to...."

The door swung open with a snap. Octavia was hunched over, nostrils flared. "Maine...follow, now."