"What the fuck just happened?" James asked himself sitting up. He was in the main room in the ruins of a castle. Every thing was either destroyed, had plants and vines on them, or were crumbling. "If I'm not mistaken, I've either been raped by a tentacle monster or" James said, calling upon his pony knowledge "I'm in the Castle of the Two Sisters." James stood up and noticed that he had his computer in its bag, his 12 gauge shotgun his grandpa gave him, a large black revolver (fully loaded with 6 shots) that was almost exactly like the one his grandpa had and let him shoot, and a fire ax wrapped in barb wire. "W-w-w-w-hat the fu-u-u-u-ck?" James said, almost laughing his ass off "I recognize the shotgun and the pistol, but where the hell did the axtinguisher come from?" He quickly picked up all three and holstered the revolver on his right and placed the ax on his back. Looking around, he found a Nintendo themed VANS backpack and hat along with his sunglasses. "Now I'm really confused" James said while picking up the shotgun.

As he placed the shotgun on his back, James heard rustling coming from the bushes. "Dafuq is that?", he whispered to himself. With the ax in his hands, he approached the bushes. Taking his left hand off the ax, he pulled the bushes to the side and saw something that scared him shitless. "Holy shit, a changeling", James said "With regular looking eyes?" The changeling lifted its head and opened its eyes. "Help me" she spoke, with a scared and hurt tone in her voice. James gave her a look that said "What the fuck is this?"

"Why should I?", he questioned her. As she was about to respond, James heard three other voices. "Where is that traitor?" "Find that traitor!" "Come out, come out wherever you are you traitorous scum!" Without even thinking, he grabbed the changeling by the hoof and pulled her behind him. Putting both hands on the ax, he yelled,"OVER HERE, YOU FUCKHEADS!!!" The changeling immediately tried to run, but fell down after a couple feet. "Hey, trust me. I know what I'm doing",he said with a calm tone. Hearing three to four pairs of hooves, James quickly took a defensive stance. "O-okay", she replied, trying to tend to her wounds. Out of the bushes came four changelings, this time with pure blue eyes.

One dressed in armor stepped forward. "Please hand over the traitor or else", he spoke, obviously being weary of James. "Why?" He responded "Give me one, ONE, good reason to hand her over to you." "Because I told you to, you hairless ape" the changeling said. "Wrong answer" James said, pulling back the ax for a swing. "You probably don't know how to fight with tha-" the changeling guard was cut off by James as the ax was placed between its neck and foreleg. Green blood started dripping from the wound. Lifting his foot from the ground, he placed it on the changeling's breast plate. Getting a good grip on the ax, James pushed the changeling with his foot and pulled the ax at the same time. The ax was now out of the changeling's neck and was dripping blood. As the changeling guard fell, blood started gushing out and covered the floor with a coat of green. The female changeling looked in horror and awe as this happened.

The three other changelings got ready to fight. Two of them flew up about five feet in the air while the other had his horn lit up. "This is going to be fun" James said, putting the ax on his back and bringing out the shotgun. The changeling immediately fired his magical blast, James side-stepped and avoided the shot. Cocking the gun he aimed at the changeling and fired. A loud boom was heard and the changling's neck and face were no more. Cocking it again flinged the empty shell out of the chamber and onto the floor. Disorientated from the boom, the flying changelings were hovering closer to the ground. Shoving the shotgun back on his back, he pulled out the revolver and fired 3 shots into one of the changelings. "Two down, one to go", he said pointing the gun at the other. As James did this, said changeling rammed into him knocking the revolver out of his hands. Instinctively, James reached into his right pocket for his pocket knife. He didn't find his pocket knife, instead he found a butterfly knife. Looking at the folded knife, the changeling laughed and started to fly towards him. Time suddenly slowed for James. He unfolded the knife with an amazing trick and rammed it into the changeling's neck. He then used the changelings forward momentum and pulled the knife towards him a little. That little movement of the knife, combined with the changeling's forward momentum, made a big gash all around the left side of the changeling's neck. The changeling's body hit the floor and did a little flip.

"That was fun" James said, folding the knife up "Also, HOW THE HELL AM I DOING THIS??" He then started to do more opening and folding tricks with the knife. "This is amazing", he said, picking up the revolver "Oh, by the way whats your name and what did they mean by 'traitor'?" Looking as if she had just seen god shit his pants after eating too much 'Taco Bell' "M-my n-name is Zeika, and I escaped the Hive Mind and ran away" she said, still shocked by what just happened. "Huh, nnneat", James responded "Well Zeika, my name is James. I have no idea how or why I'm here, all I know is that we should probably get going." "W-why?" Zeika asked. "If we are where I think we are, then the loud boom that was made by my shotgun probably attracted some unwanted company", James said while picking up his things "But, now that i think about it, we are deep in this forest and it will take awhile before someone or something comes and finds us."

Back in Ponyville about 3 minutes ago

"No Rainbow, you can't become a griffin." Twilight said, still annoyed that rainbow was STILL asking this. "Come on! It would be so AWESOME if I became a grif-" Rainbow was cut off by a loud boom coming from the Everfree "What was that?" Twilight asked. Almost every pony was looking towards the Everfree. Suddenly Pinkie popped up. "HE'S HERE!!!" she shouted, pulling her party cannon from seemingly nowhere. "What do you mean by that?" Rainbow asked her. "You'll see" Pinkie said with a smile equivalent to that of a sneaky snake. "Okay then. Lets investigate" Twilight said, getting up out of the chair she was sitting in. "NO!" Pinkie screamed "Not yet at least."

Back to our regularly scheduled shit show

James opened is laptop bag and setup his stuff. He didn't have his power cord but when he clicked on his battery to see how much power he had before it dies, it had a little infinity symbol where the percent should be. He checked his phone, and it too had infinite power and service. "Well, that's good, now I don't have to worry about my things running dead." He double clicked on the game 'Left 4 Dead 2' opening it up and found a game in progress. The server was named 'TEST'. He looked at who was in the server, lo and behold it was the people he made fun of in TF2. "This will be fun" He said, clicking 'Join Game'.

Author's Note

Well here it is, chapter three of this shit show. Now if you excuse me, Imma gonna take a nap now.