My name is Jack, and I'm currently in prison. Don't get me wrong, I think of myself as a stand-up kinda guy, I'm in here because of a crime I didn't commit. The idea for writing this actually came from my interrogator, he goes by the name of "Iron Chains". Stupid name right? I've been in here for a few weeks, but I suppose waking up in another world with talking color-horses did shock me quite a bit. Especially when I found out that I was chained to the bed I awoke on! This won't make any sense until I explain from the beginning. I don't even know if anyone will be reading this, but I'l give you the benefit of the doubt.
I lived in a small town called Springfield, yes like the Simpsons but there's a bunch of them all over America. Anyways, I was a pretty average boy there, I had parents, went to school, played sports and video games, pretty good things to do right? Then along came High-school. Being average wasn't good enough, the people that used to be just as average as me turned out to be really good at something admirable like football, academics, soccer... Something that everyone enjoyed and respected. However, as I said before, I was average. Perfectly average. I'm mediocre at everything I do, be it video games, sports, academics, hell even my jobs recognized that I'm only mediocre at best. My grades, B's and C's. I got kicked from every sport team I tried out for to make room for people better than me. Same thing with games, I got kicked because I was so average, and people that were better than me wanted to join. Eventually I got fired from my jobs because I made mistakes, just like anyone else would, but most peoples performance would make up for it but I was only average at everything I did. Eventually, I looked to be hired by a local fast food restaurant, but for once I was rejected. They looked at my employment history and told me that they wanted people actually good at the things they try, not just passable. So started my unemployed life. Nobody local would take me anymore, they all just said the same thing over and over again. No matter how much I wanted the job they would just say "we don't need someone who 'constantly makes mistakes' or 'does a passable job, but not what's expected'". One night, after something that I will not speak of occurred, it hit me. I wasn't going to get a job locally, and eventually nobody would accept my application. I'm too awkward, or clumsy, just all around not "good" at anything, but passable at most. That night I decided that the best thing for me to do would wallow in self-pity until I fell asleep, all the while thinking about how I'm not going to be able to make a living anywhere eventually. Then I closed my eyes, hoping that everything would be better in the morning.
It wasn't. I awoke feeling very uncomfortable, my bed felt hard, uneven and small. My hands and feet feeling heavy, as though gravity has increased in those areas. Opening my eyes I found that I was no longer in my room, but rather in a stone cell with bars at one end and no visible point of entry.I also found that my hands and feet were being held in place by an odd yellowish goop that didn't seem to move off of the floor, but still allowed me to slide across it. Torches aligned the walls both inside and outside the cell. I tried to call for help/yell to my captors to let me free, but my mouth wouldn't open, as though it was duct-taped closed. After what felt like hours, a bright flash of light filled the cell. Then, when I had stopped seeing spots, I looked to where the flash originated and found a steel-grey horse in gold armor standing before me with no rider. Looking this new being over, I found that it had a horn atop it's head, green eyes, and I saw a bit of blue mane poking from the bottom of it's helmet. The thing slowly walked over to my prone frame, then it then did something I never expected it to do, it cleared it's throat... and spoke.
"I see that you've awakened. Now I've got some questions for you, and you are to answer truthfully. Got me?" said the horse... unicorn... thing. It's voice sounded gruff, like that you would expect from a middle-aged man. "Now, what are you?"
A moment passed and my terror subsided, albeit faintly, and I looked at the thing before me trying to convey the message "I can't talk dumb-ass!" with my eyes, and somehow it seemed to understand.
"Oh, yes. Sorry about that, I haven't done an interrogation for years! Now let me just..." It responded. After it finished speaking it's horn seemed to glow with akin to it's eyes, and I felt like duct-tape was just removed from my mouth. "There we go! Now answer the question." It's eyes were suddenly full malice, replacing the good-natured vibe I was getting a minute ago.
I said the first thing that came to mind, a statement that had been burning to be set free since the moment it appeared.
"You're a horse! Horses can't talk! What are you some kind of EXPERIMENT?! How did You get in here? Why am I here? Where am..." I stopped, feeling it's eyes upon me, hatred seeping through his gaze. "... I guess I'll just answer the question now."
"That would be advisable."
"I'm a human, and you're a horse." I said, still pointing out the obvious in my panicked state-of-mind, my brain still trying to make sense of it.
"Better." It said, the hatred and malice towards me fading ever so slightly. "Now, where do your loyalties lie?"
"... Uh... What?" I ask, completely cut off guard by this question. What loyalties? Where could they lie? Am I in a war zone?
"Who are you loyal to? Princess Celestia or Nightmare Moon?" It said matter-of-factly, like I should've gotten it the first time.
"Who?" I asked, not sure if it was testing me in some way. I was going to ask a question, but decided against it. This thing had said that this was an interrogation, which means that things could go south if it didn't want me to ask questions.
The horse was silent for a moment, seemingly stunned by what I had just said. It was expecting an answer from me, but not that one. Later on I learned that it was all it could do not to laugh. After a moment of silence, it's horn glowed again, and another flash emanated from it. Blinking the spots away, I found that it was gone.
This became routine over the next few days. I would wake up, and after a while it would appear to ask questions, then disappear before my eyes. Eventually I got up the courage to ask it some questions for a change.
"So... Um... What's your name? Mine is Jack." I ask, hoping I don't get beaten up. I've heard that's what happens at these thing.
"Iron. Iron Chains." It said. Not saying anything else. To break the silence and since I didn't get beaten I asked another question.
"Where am I?"
"A prison cell."
"Duh... I know that, but where?"
"The cell is situated underneath the Castle of the Royal Sisters, home of Princess Celestia. I assumed you knew this due to the fact that you appeared in between the Princess and Nightmare Moon during their battle."
"Battle? Okay then... Um... What gender are you? It's kind of a weird question, but I have to ask, Are you male?"
"I am indeed, male." He replied, no emotion showing on his face at all. I started to get the impression that he was being forced to answer my questions.
"Who do you work for?"
"The Princess."
"What are you?"
"A unicorn."
"What do you do?"
"I'm a member of the Royal Guard. I protect the people and the Princess in any way I can."
I will not bore you with more of this conversation, instead I'll write down the gist of what he had to say. Apparently this Princess was locked in a war with her evil sister, who had somehow caused eternal night. During one of their battles, the Princess tried to kill her sister, who then blocked using some form of "Magic" and a large explosion occurred, at the center was me, lying on the ground asleep. Nightmare Moon took the opportunity to escape while I was imprisoned for being an accomplice of the Nightmare. Then you pretty much know what happened until then. Yay! I was going to ask him if there was any way I could get back home, when there was a flash of light not unlike those that Iron had used to teleport in and out of my cell. After blinking, I was greeted to the face of a very tall white unicorn with a bright pink mane and a... tattoo... of the sun... on it's butt.
"Whaa! Who are you?" I asked the new pony.
"I could ask you the same question. What have you done to my guard?!" she asked with the voice of a very, very angry young woman.
"WHAT?! I've done nothing wrong! I was just asking questions, I assumed his superiors ordered him to answer some for me since I've been questioned without end, with questions of my own but no answers! I see nothing wrong with trying to get answers about my predicament, considering I've been giving answers left and right, none of them any use to me because I have no idea what's going on. So, lady, tell me who the FUCK you are, why you're here, and what I'm being accused of this time." I rambled, rage boiling inside of me. Who was this lady to question me for something I hadn't done?
"I... I am Princess Celestia! You would talk to your Princess like this!? Such vulgarity! Now, you piece of trash Night Guard! What have you done to Iron Chains! I specifically ordered him not to give out any information! And yet here he is, telling you everything! He hasn't reported back to me for days and now here he is being questioned by a traitor! Him of all... Ponies.. being... What are YOU?!" Her speech seemed to be gathering more and more rage as it went on, until she noticed that I was not quite one of her subjects.
"I... What?! He hasn't told you anything I've said? Bullshit! And besides, if you were the Princess, you would've already seen me. You know, during your battle? Anyways, I'm a human Blah blah blah, just ask Iron, he can tell you everything.
