Everything Hates me: a Brony's Adventure

Chapter Six, Arangements.

I explained everything to them, except the fact that MLP is just a cartoon on earth. I talked about my home, humanity as a general, my family, friends, girlfriend, the holiday, the plane, (explaining how it worked and what one was so they understood) how it went wrong, falling to my doom, and the immeasurable amount of pain I went through. They all clung on to my every word, they were amazed at everything, some of them even cried at one point when they realised my loss. At the end all of them were speechless. Pinkie Pie ended up jumping up to hug me and tried to talk, but just blubbered. I returned the hug and then looked over at Celestia. Her face was expressionless for a moment and then she sighed. There wasn’t much to say anymore, for anyone so there was a moment’s silence.

Finally Celestia said “Well then… You’re not having the best of times right now and I’m surprised you’re holding up so well. You are going to need a serious night’s sleep if you can muster it, so I suggest you stay here and sleep on this sofa, I will return in the morning and we will need to fix you with a more permanent shelter, food, drink and new clothing” she then turned to the mane six and then continued. “I suggest that you should also get well rested for tomorrows antics.”

They all nodded , said their goodbyes and wandered off out the door. Except for Twilight, she just stood there. “Goodbye Twilight, DMT.” Celestia finished and followed the other five outside. I realised that this must be Twilight’s tree home. I look around, book shelf’s everywhere. Yep, this is Twilight’s home alright. She looks at me and I look at her.

She blushes slightly and then asks “Erm… Would you like anything before you go to bed, Senpai?” I shook my head and she went about her business. I looked out the window. The sun was setting. Life sure was interesting right now. A pile of crap admittedly, but interesting.

I woke up to the sound of loud snoring. Twilight snores? I asked to myself, and then notice spike in his basket. Wow. I got up and had a look around. Twilight was at the table with a mug of tea and a book. She turned a page and recoiled as she got a paper cut on the lower part of her leg. She waved it around “Sugarplums!” she cursed then noticed me

“Oh, hey Senpai” and she blushed slightly again realising she must have looked like a fool.

“You look tired Twi-kun, didn’t get much sleep?”

She was obviously surprised I was already being casual and calling her “Twi-kun” and rose to her hooves, screaming "BAKA! It's not like I like you or anything senpai!" I just ignored it.

“Erm…” I started “You wouldn’t happen to have anything edible around here, would you?” I’m not one to usually have breakfast on the morning, but I hadn’t eaten much at all yesterday with all the being killed, fallen on and knocked out.

“Oh of course” she said and her horn glowed. A couple of draws opened and closed. “Actually, what do you eat?” she asked. I’d better not answer that truthfully I thought.

“Erm… Cereal? Eggs? Fish? Fruit?” She opened a cabinet and pulled out a carrot and half an apple. “That’ll do” I say, and sit down to munch.

After pleasing my stomach, the inevitable happened. Twilight bombarded me with questions of my cultures and influences, what my world was really like and many, many other things. All those Human in Equestria fan fics were pretty much accurate then. It might be an idea to use something from them From time to time. I tried to answer them as best I could, but some didn’t really make all that much sense to the way humans did act.

Right on cue, Princess Celestia came back with the other five again. ”Good morning DMT, good morning Twilight… Oh my… Bad night?” she had noticed Twilight was looking tired.

“Couldn’t sleep I’m afraid” Then all heads turned to spike who had just let out the loudest snore yet.

“No, don’t go just yet Rarity…” he mumbled in his sleep. Rarity blushed.

Twilight kicked his basket and he shot upwards releasing an “Eep” worthy of Fluttershy. And landed face first on the floor again.

Celestia turned back to me again. “Ahem, yes well. How are you feeling this morning DMT, any better?” She seemed genuinely concerned for me, I expected her to question the hell out of me, try to get me to lose my temper to see if I was dangerous or not, maybe even lock me away until she was positive I was safe to be around.

“I’ve been better miss, but I’ve been worse” I say trying to keep my manners in case she did do something like that anyway.

She nods and gives an understanding smile “I think it may be an idea to start getting you on your hooves” The others still seemed a bit uneasy around me, but they trusted the princess so as long as she was fine with me, they would be… Hopefully.

“Well” Rarity started “We had better get you some better clothing first, we can’t have you walking around in those rags.” I looked down at myself, my jeans were torn and singed as was my T-Shirt.

“Damn… I quite liked these, could we just repair them?” She looked shocked at the thought of me keeping them; I expected as much.

“Well, if you really want to keep them, but I must make you a spare pair in case anything happens to those, and why are you wearing them anyway? It’s not cold”

Ah… this could be awkward. “Well… my race we’re a bit more body conscious, you see things are more… Visible for us.” I flashed my enviable, rock-hard genitals at them and all the mane six blushed.

“Ah…” Rarity continued. “I can see how that could be problematic, DMT-sama. Wait, so that means you wear cloths almost all the time, right?”

“Um, yeah we do”

Her eyes looked like they were about to pop out. “OH MY GOODNESS, IT MUST BE FABULASS! What fashions are there? Do you have any pictures? SHOW ME!!!” I almost fell over with that last sentence.

“Rarity my dear, you should probably take it down a notch” Princess Celestia said a bit exasperated.

“Oh, of course, terribly sorry” she said sheepishly. “Well, anyway, I’m going to need to know what your clothing is made of if I’m to repair it.” I didn’t know, I decided it would be a good idea to take my T-Shirt off to look at the label. They all looked flummoxed at this.

“I thought you were a male, you’ve got nipples!” one of them said. “Ah… Well, I am male, we just have… Different bodys, as you can tell. They don’t work, they’re just there for some reason.” I stroked my nipples, making them erect so the ponies could see me in my true form, naturally leading to  passionate orgy in which a number of ponies were erotically killed. That could have gone better. I thought, could have gone worse though. I looked at the label on the neck of  the shirt. It read “Burton Menswear, London, Great British Style since Nineteen Hundred And Four, Small, Pure Cotton. “Erm, its pure cotton”

“How can you tell?”

I threw her the T-Shirt. “There’s a label on the neck, it tells you who the manufacturer is, where it came from, how old the company is and what it’s made from.”

Her eyes glazed over “That’s THE best idea EVER!!! I’m going to have to do this the everyone who looks at my clothing on another pony will go “Oooh, that’s nice, oh look it says Rarity made it in Ponyville, I want one” and they will know where to get one, and there will be ponies queuing outside the door out for MY clothes and I’ll make MILLIONS!!!” We all stared at her. “Oh, oops… I think I may have been a bit loud then…”

“As I was saying…” Celestia continued “Unless Twilight says otherwise I expect it will be ok for you to stay here with her for the moment and you could go around doing odd jobs earning bits, we can have a notice on the town hall notice board and in a few shops, and eventually with a bit of help, you may be able to get a little house of your own!”

I smiled. “That sound perfect. A little manual labour never killed… To many people… I imagine.” Silence.

“Well, I’d be happy to put a notice up in Mr and Mrs cakes shop for you, and I could even write it on the buns!” Pinkie started. Rarity then continued

“Yes, I’ll put up a notice on the shop, I don’t mind that”

“Urm, I could get Angel to tell all the other animals about it. I think…” Said Fluttershy.

“I could spell it out in the clouds!” Rainbow dash  blurted out. “That would be sooo cool”

“Ahm sure I could I could put a message on our apple based products and one on the barn too for y’all.” Applejack continued.

“I can get that notice in the town hall sorted out.” Twilight agreed.

“Well then, looks like my work here is done! I shall return soon to make sure you are happy and settling down nicely, don’t hesitate to ask twilight to send me a letter if you need something.”

“Thanks very much Princess” I gave a bit of an awkward bow, my back still hurt so I couldn’t give a proper one.

“My pleasure.” She said in a friendly tone. “And please, if you get depressed again, or need any support, I’m only a letter away.” She then said goodbye to Twilight, and left again.

“Right then, let’s get you sorted, we have SOOOOO much to talk about while I get your clothing” Rarity then practically dragged me out the door “Bye” I managed to say to the other five.

Things were starting to look up for me.