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Prologue , or, Why Discord chose to start a mail service
“Discord!” Twilight bellowed in her throne room, her voice echoing in the large crystalline room.
Classical instruments blared through the castle as the crystal walls were replaced with soft wood panels. Before Twilight a large stage appeared, a ballroom set appeared shortly after. As the music continued numerous smaller versions of Discord appeared, each dancing away in various forms of tights and tutu’s. As they danced and the music sped up a larger Discord appeared pirouetting out from stage right. He continued in his Pirouettes until the music ended. Leaning down towards Twilight, who was sitting in a velvet seat by the stage, Discord calmly spoke.
“You didn’t have to shout.”
Deciding to ignore Discords entrance, a stance many ponies who know the Draconequus had taken, Twilight turned to the nearest Discord and asked him flatly, “What is this.” The ‘this’ was a small book of stamps that had Discords smiling face on it, which she waved in front of Discords face.
Discord twisted his head upside down, stroking his beard and squinting at the area of Twilight.
“That,” Discord reached out a call and pointed at Twilight’s hoof. “is a Hoof. That! Is a book of my Chaos Stamps! From my Community Service Project!”
“Community service?” That took Twilight completely by surprise.
“Why of course! What you think after the whole Tirek fiasco I wouldn’t try to pay back the community?”
“I kinda thought you would try to skate by.” Twilight admitted with a slight blush of embarrassment.
“Oh how you wound me Twilight!” Discord reeled back as though struck, multiple rubber knives appearing on his body. “That you of all ponies would think that I would try to go without paying my debt to society! To try and escape without helping my fellow Equestrian after all I have done to them. Oh, it hurts that you would say that! My poor, caring wounded soul reels back that such a close friend would say such cruel and harsh things!” The knives vanished and Discord seemed to shrink as a river of tears began to flow from his eyes, causing a small but growing body of water to fill the room.
“I have changed dear Twilight, you and the others have made me see the error of my chaotic ways. Oh, I know I make mistakes from time to time, but who doesn't? But I try! And for you to in. . .”
“Celestia made you do it, didn’t she?” Twilight interrupted in a deadpan, ducking under a flower vase that had been animated to act like a fish that had attempted to leap over her head.
“Yup.” Discord stopped the theatrics in a flash before snapping the water away and resetting everything to the way it was before, though he did leave a salty taste to the air. “Would you like a demonstration?”
A little wary, Discords creations had a habit of working in wonky ways after all, but curious none the less, Twilight nodded her head.
“Good! Now, it’s very simple. First you write a letter.” Discord snapped up a piece of paper and a quill, before drawing a heart, an actual beating pony heart, on the paper. “Then you put it in an envelope.” A envelope appeared and the drawing slid into it, completely of it’s own volition. “Address the letter to anypony, anypony at all.” He quickly jotted down ‘Fluttershy’. “Slam one of my patented chaos stamps on it and . . .” Discord placed his stamp on the envelope, the tiny Discord on the stamp gave him a thumbs up before snapping it’s fingers, causing the letter to disappear. “. . . voila!”
Discord floated in front of Twilight, looking rather proud of himself, as the youngest alicorn looked as though she was having a mini stroke trying to comprehend something. Twilight just stood in place for a while, eye twitching and occasionally shaking before a sudden calm fell over her. She took three long and calming breaths before addressing the reformed chaos spirit.
“Discord, I am going to list off the top three questions I have concerning this. I will not ask what kind of magic you are using on these letters, not after the last time I asked you how your magic brakes Star Swirls laws. Okay, question number one. Why letters?”
“Why not letters?” The draconequus asked.
Twilight shot Discord a withering look, clearly not wanting anymore of his games.
“Fine, you spoil sport, I chose letters because of you.” Discord admitted, not looking the princess in the eye.
“Me?” She asked, shocked.
“Yes, you. When Celestia was telling me how I had to do something nice for the ponies of Equestria, and maintain it, she received a letter from you. Now, she had been looking rather stressed at the time, most likely from my stress inducing stress ball I had been handing out, but when she saw that letter from you it was as though all that stress just melted away as she picked the letter up with a smile.” He shrugged, “It just came to me after that. Whats a better way to help ponies then allow them to contact each other easier, after all, not everypony can communicate almost instantly.” He laughed as he snapped up more chaos stamps before blowing them away, the stamps disappearing on the wind. “Well, now they can!”
“Oh, well,” Twilight began, never before considering how lucky she was to be able to message the Princess, and her family, nearly instantly before, “thats actually very thoughtful. Okay, question number two. What’s in it for you?And don’t do that ‘ I wound you!” thing again or I’ll make you clean the castle again. Without magic.”
Discord, who was in the middle of a dramatic pose with a whole scene set up and ready to go, pouted in disappointment before shoving everything to the left, where it magically disappeared. “Kill joy.” He muttered under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, nothing! And as for your question, all I get out of this is the knowledge I get to help friends stay connected. And possibly cause a little discord by making it so that ponies don’t have time to reconsider sending a letter as the stamps work the moment they are placed on a letter.” Discord finished in a rush, not liking the look Twilight had sent his way. Ever since the Tirek fiasco Twilight had taken to sending mild stinging spells at him whenever he started to annoy her. Something about it being nicer than being sent through a mountain.
Twilight shook her head, really, what she have expected from a spirit like Discord. And it wasn’t like what he was doing was really harmful, she had had many experiences where she immediately regretted sending a letter through Spike. “Okay, last question. Whats the effect on the postal system? Oh, and how much are stamps?”
“The stamps are free. And as for the post? Well, the stamps only work on letters, anything that fits in a regular envelope. Anything else has to go through the normal channels, so it shouldn’t hurt them to bad. Now, is there anything else, or can I get back to my play?”
Twilight gave a long look, before deciding that she had satisfied her curiosity. For now. She would grill him later after she got over the headache he had caused. And finished that paperwork upstairs. How did Celestia do it all? “Fine, you can go. But we are talking about this more later!”
Discord gave a whoop at being able to leave before disappearing in a pirouette, immediately appearing in his room of Fluttershy’s home, it was really a guest room, but he had claimed it for his own months ago and Fluttershy never went in there anyway.
“Okay, let’s get back to it!” He said with a laugh before digging into a small pile of letters.
From: Grey Scale; To: Laxmi
Hey Laxmi, it’s been a long time hasn’t it?
It's Grey Scale, I hope you remember me, we knew each other for around nine years as kids. I can still remember when we meet, you where that cute little thing, looking like you could barely stand on those twigs you called legs, lost in a new town and country. Of course, I had never meet a deer before so I was shocked to hear that mess you call a language at first. Sure is a good thing you knew at least a little equestrian. Spent the whole day showing you around Mallards Creek.
I know you must be mad at me, Celestia knows I would be. Ten years without a single letter after that promise we made on your seventh birthday? I’ve been beating myself up for a long time now over that.
I still would be if it wasn’t for this thing Discords doing, flyer says it’s community service for that whole magic stealing fiasco last month. Celestia I hope this works. If it doesn't, well, I don’t know what else I could try.
I tried to find you, you and the others, but I never could. Even went to Indali, no luck. But I heard what you did there, everyone I talked to had a story to tell about the deer that dated a dragon the size of the largest tree. Really should have seen that one coming.
I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, I failed as both the leader of our group and a friend. But I had to take Money Bags offer while it was still good. That’s not an excuse for ten years, but, well . . .
Knowing you, if you’re still reading you’re probably thinking about how stupid I’m being right now, aren't you?
I suppose I should tell you a bit about the me of now. After all, you probably want to know if me leaving you guys paid off. Don’t know if I should say anything, to be honest. Might just be digging myself a deeper grave. Then again, not saying anything might just piss you off more. . .
It paid off. After three years of working for the guy he retired and left his antique art and sculpture store. I mostly focus on acquiring new items, though I do spend at least one week every month in store selling the acquired items and going over our inventory. Surprisingly sales go up during the weeks I’m in the store. I guess people just like buying from a guy whose special talent is being fair, I know it helps when I’m out buying from private collectors or artists. Here’s something that I’m sure you’ll find interesting. The first thing I sold as owner was a painting from your homeland, titled The Dragons Love . I thought of you when I saw it. Sold it for one thousand six hundred bit’s to some pompous minor noble .
More good news is that this store has done so well that I am able to expand.
I know this probably means little after all these years, and breaking such a huge promise, but I’m still painting. Just like I promised I would. Infact, I’m actually at a location I have spent the past three days painting.
I’d make you guess where I’m at, but if you know anything about me you’d be able to guess in a second. Also, playing guessing games through a letter with a deer I haven’t seen in ages probably isn’t a great idea.
Sweet Celestia I’m rambling like mad. Oh, if any of the snobs I usually deal with could see me now. They’d think I, calm and collected Grey Scale, the stallion with a face of stone had lost it.
Guess you can’t stay calm while writing ten years worth of pent up emotion into a single page.
Back on track, I’m at the Nebula Glacier in the Frozen North, about twenty miles east of the Crystal Empire. It’s gorgeous. Every night it reflects the moonlight like a thousand stars. I spend about three hours trying to capture it on my canvas.
I’ll be sad to go. I have to leave tomorrow to head to Canterlot for a court meeting with the Princesses about a land purchase in the city that has caused some issue with the people living around it.
Again, I can’t begin to apologise for going so long without contact. If you want to reply I have enclosed one of those ‘chaos stamps’ that should allow you to mail a letter to me, just like the one I’m using to get this to you. I’m going to try and write to Nanuk and the others later.
I hope it won’t be too much to ask, but, how are you? Did you ever meet up with your mom like you always wanted to? Meet any dragons since that one in Indali? Heard you broke the poor guys heart.
In hopes you won’t just burn this,
Grey Scale.
P.S. Happy Birthday.
From: Laxmi; To: Grey Scale
Grey Scale,
Grey? I swear you need to stop beating yourself over things! When you raced into my room that night before you left and you caught me packing my own bags, I could tell something big was happening. The way your eyes gleamed when you prattled on about the opportunity you had told me you’d be busy for years. I got it. I understood. I had to get home to help my mother too, I knew I would not have time to write for a long while.
Gods you really sound like a guilty prisoner. You don’t need to feel guilty. Yes it would have been very nice if you had written like you had promised at least once in this decade. Yes it would have been nice if you had found me back home. And yes I dated a dragon the Size of a Large tree and let me tell you his dick was fabulous but not one I’d stay with until old age took me. Yes just picture it! Little Laxmi, fucking a Dragon nearly six times bigger than her. Let’s see your stone face hold there!
Speaking of a Stone face when did you acquire such a solemn demeanor? I do not recall this appearing back in Mallard Creek. Perhaps your work has changed you? That isn’t something to think on right now is it! It’s good to hear from you once more and to hear you are doing so well! Nebula Glacier is a wonderful spot for some painting! I’ll have to get my hooves on some Paints for you next time I’m in Market. The Festival of Colors was only a few days back and Market is closed for a few more days.
I helped my mother rebuild the Mining company from the ground up after Father’s passing. I work in my mother’s stead. It is no where near as good as it once was, but it supplies jobs where they are needed. This is why I did not try to write to you either. I was trying to help re-establish my parent’s Mines, then handed it to someone who could properly run it. I however am making Toys for children. Remember that Breezie I made you? What was it’s name again? Mizzie? I make things similar to Mizzie for a living. It feels good to see the little ones so happy! I do work for a company though, a small one that is hoping to branch out to other lands. I make the toys and design them. And because of this I am to go with the Representative of the company should they decide to expand.
No I have yet to find a Drake who has caught my eye yet. I shall find those paints for you! And do find Nanuk. I wish to hear from him as well as the others. Thank you for the birthday wish. I am very glad you remembered. May I wish you a happy Birthday for all the years we have not seen each other!
Signed,
Laxmi
P.S. I missed you, you Raging Sod! Why would I burn this? Also Apparently The lady next door to me has taken in a few Kirins, rumor has it they are actually her Chicks, but the father ditched them! I also heard that Equestria recently had trouble with this Discord character, is everything ok over there?
From: Grey Scale; To: Nanuk
Hey Nanuk, it’s me,
How you doing buddy? It’s been a long, long time since we last talked, or well, wrote each other. You know, I would go blubbering on about how bad I feel about not having contacted you in forever, but Laxmi made it pretty clear that I need to get over my self. And if Laxmi thinks that, then you probably do as well, you both always had the same reactions to apologies.
So I’ll just say this: I am sorry.
So, did you ever settle down with anyone? I know you were with that one girl, whats her name again? I can’t remember, but it was the one that Laxmi set you up with. Anyway, how did your relationship with her go? You two were so close together!
Anyway, good news on my front, I got my own business down here in Hollow Shades and a new store to be opened in Canterlot! Well, that is if I can get these pig headed nobles to allow a poor old pegasus to open a store in their elitist unicorn sector. I mean, by the sun these fools are stuck up! They are lobbying against the construction of my store simply because I am not a unicorn, and therefore must be a savage pegasus who has only violence on his mind. Reminds me of how the kids used to treat you once word got out about your childhood. Though that’s not how they told it. They spun some story of how they were concerned my shop would damage the reputation of the other older and well established shops and some other BS I won't trouble you with. It’s an ongoing battle, but I am sure Celestia will rule in my favor.
So thats whats going on with me currently, how about you? What is Nanuk up to? You out there hunting bears again? Getting your shagy ass handed to you by some timber wolves again? Spooking people with your short and often insightful sentences?
Still eating your body weight in baked goods every sunday?
I would love to write more, but I gotta wrap this up. I have to get up early tomorrow to continue campaigning for my right to expand my business here in Canterlot.
With best wishes,
Grey Scale.
From: Grey Scale; To: Laxmi
Hey, Laxmi.
Did you really need to bring up your sex life? I have been trying to write this letter for weeks, only to splutter halfway through and have to start over. I mean, come on! There is no reason a man needs to have that kind of idea in his head about someone they consider a sister! I mean honestly! It’s indecent and immoral and . . .
You’re not falling for any of that, are you?
Alright, alright. I admit it. I laughed my ass off when I read that part about you and the dragon, nearly scared the shit out of my assistant Golden Laurels. I was half expecting you to say something like that, but not so brazenly! What happened to that cute little deer that stuttered and blushed up a storm when she came up to me and asked if I could get her a few ‘anatomy books’ on dragons? You were so cute, blushing and dragging your hoof in a circle in the dirt. I almost felt bad for making you repeat yourself six times.
Almost.
I’m glad that you were able to help your mother, and that you are able to do something you love. Hopefully your job hasn’t changed you as much as mine has changed me. I had to give up my goofball ways and become more serious. I guess I went a little overboard in acting series, now everyone knows me as a series stallion, can’t get anyone to joke around with me.
But such is life.
Hope to hear from you again kiddo,
Grey Scale.
Nanuk,
Nanuk? Nanuk? Did you get this? I hope you did, this “Chaos stamp” is a strange thing, but I am putting my trust in it to get this letter to you. Anyways, it is Laxmi. Long time huh? Where are you out there? Still doing well for yourself? Still attached to your Bear Pelts? Or do you have new ones?
I guess I should tell you why I am trying now of all times to contact you. I got a letter from Grey Scale a month week or so ago. He said he was sorry for not contacting any of us and he would be trying to get a hold of you soon. I decided to try and write to you. How have you been this past decade? Anything interesting happen? Get any dates? Family? Foals?
Sorry. But anyways, I guess you might want to hear how I’m doing huh? After all I did kind of leave Mallard Creek on short notice. My Mother could not hold onto the Mining Company she and my Father ran. I couldn’t afford to stay in Equestria, so I went home to help her get the company back on it’s feet. I don’t run it. In fact it is no longer in my family. We sold the Company nearly five years ago, I’ve been working as a Toymaker and designer for a small store in Indali. I truly love it, I love seeing the little ones all so happy when they play with my toys. Just the other day a Large Earthpony stallion came in with his filly. When she became overwhelmed by all the choices around her, he picked up a small cart toy and placed it before her. Then he stood behind her to block out the other shelves. She calmed down right away, and I couldn’t help but think of you.
Remember when you first came to Mallard Creek? Neither of us could really talk to each other well. I was still learning Equestrian and your accent confused me. It didn’t help you were so big and intimidating looking! And so quiet too! It helped that Grey Scale did as Grey Scale does and started chatting to you.
I’m reminiscing again, sorry! I hope this finds you, wherever you are Nan. And I hope you are doing well!
Signed,
Laxmi
P.S. Do you still collect food before the winter?
Dear Taktu Laxmi,
Still as colorful as ever, eh little one? Its good to hear from you though old friend.
I can tell life has been a winding path for you since you left, but it seems everything turned out ok in the end. Making children happy is a difficult, and noble cause, so good on you. Do you have a special one, or little ones running around?
To answer your questions, I’ll have to give you a bit of background on what's happened in the time since we last saw each other.
When you left, it wasn’t long after that everyone in our group went their own ways. I ended up heading home to see my old folk after all the time spent apart, and sadly when I got back, they were both laying on their death bed. After meeting most of my siblings, all five younger and the two older ones that I knew, I set out to start that caravan I sometimes mentioned. A couple of my siblings came with me, and we formed the White Paw Traveling Co.
Don’t blame me for the irony of the name. It was my sibling’s idea.
Anyway’s, a few years pass, and now I run one of the largest caravans around, as well as the only one that actively travels through the Crystal Empire! Not long after and I met my little Papikttok-
Will you please get in here, your chil-
Sorry about that line there, things got a little chaotic around here and my quill caught the first few dialogues with one of my many family members from the caravan. Nifty little thing picks up what's being said around it and writes it down. Got it from one of the crystal ponies who joined so they could see the new world. His name is Shiny Mist.
Anyways, things have been good, I don’t hunt much anymore, so I don’t collect that many, but I still take care of my furs, yes.
I understand from the news that the old Chimera went on a spree of his old ways, which we felt out in the Badlands. Have you ever heard of a cactus that dances annoyingly only when you aren’t looking? Damned things nearly gave my little papikattok a heart attack when it started. That wouldn’t have been best for the nutaralak’s -
Anyways, I once again have to say its good to hear from you little one. Makes me feel nostalgic. I may not have said much in the old days, but they are still fond memories.
On that note, get that damned kringmerk of stallion to message me himself! He owes me a small bets worth of coin.
Your Friend, Nanuk
PS; Please don’t bring up the whole hibernation thing… its just a little degrading...