Silver Under Midnight

III: Midnight Walks & Silent Thoughts

The bed was insanely comfortable, absorbing and supporting the full weight of my body. I rested my hands and arms behind my neck, crossing my legs and letting out a long sigh of relief. This is exactly the type of vacation I needed: no loud noises, hardly any interruptions and two weeks of my pure enjoyment. Sitting up, I started to take a closer look around the room: it was remarkably clean, spotless even, the walls were covered in some off white looking texture.

Not ivory, but something close. A giant purple, white and grey rug lay in the middle of room, oval in shape and striped. The bed itself featured an overhang with four supporting columns, two huge pillows, super comfortable sheets of some foreign material to me, but I thought it was something close to silk. Pretty high brow and classy for a lone human visiting the castle.

Letting out a sigh I took of my sweatshirt, tossing it to the floor and hopping back up on the bed crossing my legs. A knock at the door split the heavy silence that blanketed the room, causing me to jump slightly. Curious as to who it was, I hopped off the bed and nonchalantly walked to the door, turning the lock and opening it. To my complete surprise, Princess Luna herself stood in the doorway, casually leaning herself against the wall. Her deep, turquoise eyes darted to me as our eyes connected, sending a warm smile across her face.

"Jackson! It's so good to see you," she exclaimed, taking one step closer to me, subtly hinting to let her in which I completely obliged to. Bending down to one knee, I accepted her hug in its fullest, her hooves gently wrapping around me. As we broke the hug however, I swore I felt a nuzzle as she retreated. Her warm smile was almost lethal.

"It's really nice to see you again, Luna," I replied, taking a few steps back, allowing her to fully enter the room. She closed the door behind her. She strode towards me, her beautiful mane and tail flowing as elegantly as the night itself. But it wasn't her striking mane and tail, or her body that got me: it's her eyes. I don't what it is about them, but something just captivated me every time I would look at her.

"So," she said, trotting next to me, sitting down and smiling warmly again. "How have you been? It's been a while since we've gotten time to talk you know."

I chuckled, completely relaxing. "Yeah, it has been."

"So, I have to ask. But, how are you doing?"

I paused for a second. "Just fine, Luna?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Jackson..."

Again, I paused for a second. My eyes fell as the cold reality of what the dark blue alicorn said set in. Those cold, heartless words resurfaced before I could shake them away.

It's almost like you're afraid to love me... Are you?

Yes, I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I really didn't want to talk about it. Even weeks later, it still hurt way too much to just idly talk with anyone. But, Luna was a personal close friend and she cared for my wellbeing, so I guess she had a right to know.

"To be honest with you Princess... I don't feel too well."

A grim but concerned expression came over her muzzle. Her ears slightly lowered as she did the same with her eyes. I could tell that she was upset, but break-ups are an almost everyday occurrence in life; some far nastier than others. We can't sit around for too long and mope.

"I understand... even if it's too late, I'm sorry for what she said. No one should have to endure that." If anypony could understand what pain felt like, it was Luna. Though her time of Nightmare Moon was long over, I could still see some of the pain in her eyes. Much like Rainbow Dash, Luna had put up an icy cold facade after she came back, shutting everypony out but a select few: myself included. What Luna was on the inside was a very caring, loving mare who simply wanted to be accepted. I knew I could relate.

"Thanks Luna," I replied, turning my gaze out of the window, the sun beginning to set, casting beautiful rays of sunlight across my home. It was stunning, and I was glad I could share this moment with her.

"Hey, I know something that might cheer you up," she said, lost in thought.

"What's that?"

"Would you like to come watch the moon rise?" A huge grin broke across my face, regret and sadness being chased away by excitement and happiness. I had never seen the moon rise, let alone sat next to the pony who was responsible for it.

"Would I?! That's awesome of you to suggest, Luna! Thank youu!" She giggled at my little outburst, turning her gaze out of the window as well, making note of the sun's position. We stood up and began to head for the door of my room, Luna leaving before I did, which left me time to grab my jacket and shoes, hurriedly sliding both on and jogging after the alicorn, who playfully peeked around the corridor's corner before darting away. Jogging again, I found her waiting patiently for me at the end of the hallway. She wore a wide smile and a warm look in her eyes. For some odd reason, my heart slightly fluttered before I met at the double doors, meeting our eyes was a long bridge with another spire at the end of it. Something did seem oddly familiar about it, however. Luna beckoned me to sit a little distance from her, as the final rays of disappeared from the sky. I knew I was in for a show.

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Luna was ready. I sat on the side eagerly waiting the show to start, and of course, the only thing I'm missing is popcorn. Her horn started to dimly glow as she closed her eyes, her focus narrowing to a needlepoint. The alicorn's wings flew open as she took a much more aggressive stance, her horn glowing more and more brightly. Sparks began to fly from the tip of her horn as she grimaced slightly before baring her teeth. Slowly, I saw the moon in its entire beauty rise from below the horizon, creeping into the sky, gently shining like a diamond. Twinkling stars surrounded it, almost winking at me as some clouds crept along the horizon. My eyes grew huge as I walked the beautiful moon start to bath the landscape with its gentle lunar rays.

A slow exhale came from Luna, her wings relaxing as her posture became composed again. A small smile appeared on her muzzle as she turned towards me, eyes glowing from the moon. Simply put, I was speechless. In my time in Equestria, I've watched the moon rise many times, but not once have I watched the mare responsible for it do it. She giggled, walking towards me calm and collect, curious and patiently waiting for my reaction.

"Well?" she half-asked with another giggle.

"That was.... awesome!! Ugh, I sound like a filly, but that was the most awesomest thing I've ever seen!"

Oh come on Jackson, you sound like a schoolyard filly at a Wonderbolts show. Man up!

"But, seriously. That was awesome. Thanks for showing me." Having finally calmed down, Luna laughed gently at my little outburst, tilting her head, scanning the night sky to make sure everything was in order, before beckoning me to follow her inside. The show being over, I got up and followed her in the warm confines of the castle, the heavy metal doors clunking behind us. The hallways were empty expect for the two us, and I had no idea what time it was, however I wasn't tired. I didn't fancy a nighttime walk, thought it did sound enticing.

I had things to think about.

"Thanks for the show, Luna. I'm going to head back to my room if you don't mind. Gonna start settling down for the night." The blue alicorn looked slightly disappointed, ruffling her wings once, seeming to be deep in thought. A half smile shown on her face for a split second before vanishing. I think she knew exactly what I needed to ''think'' about, but didn't want to say anything.

Arriving at my room,  I bid Luna a quick goodnight hug before closing the door behind me. It was just as I left it, the curtains gently fluttering in the warm night's breeze. Moving to shut the window, I paused, gazing absent mindedly at the night sky, watching ponies fly here and there.

Something was wrong, however. I was alone and I didn't like that. For my time in this world, I've always had friends by my side: whether it be Twilight reading me into Equestrian traditions, or Rainbow Dash and I going for a run or even Applejack and I walking home from a hard day's work. I've always loved the company of my friends, and this trip to Canterlot was full with some nice pleasantries, but as cliché as it sounds, nothing really compares to friends. I sat down on the bed, the room silent; dead silent. Something came over me, hitting me in my gut.

I guess the shock finally wore off.

For a split second, a violent image of Colgate flashed in my mind, visibly shaking me to my core. Tears started to roll down my face as the horrid reality set in:

I was the reason she left me.

I sobbed quietly, tucking my knees close to my chest, tears streaming down my face. The pain that I felt in my chest was nearly unbearable as images of that blue mare I loved continued to plague my mind's eye.

You complete idiot... why didn't you trust her... why...

I laid back on the bed, fishing for something, anything in my bag to give me peace of mind. I rummaged faster and faster, tears half blinding me, before I finally found it.

I closed my eyes and sniffled one time.

At least this way I'll know your pain, too.