Author's Note

So here it is, an EqG story, something I had been wanting to write for almost a year now. It's not great, but I'm not unhappy with it, especially since I've been having a lot of trouble to write lately (read: I spent nearly 3 months without writing a single word). It's still the same shit as usual (more or less), except that this Anon is (slightly) less of an asshole, and more of a beta.

I apologize if anything about my description of high school life is wrong, given that I haven't set foot in a school since I was twelve, and I have no idea how schools work in the US (it seems to be pretty different from what I think it's like in my country).

I hope you guys enjoy it.

Walking The Wire

"Get outta here, dweeb."

"I was just-"

The young girl interrupts me by grabbing my arm. "Get out."

"I wasn't even- ARGH!" I let out a very unmanly scream as she wraps her other hand around my wrist. "Gilda, I swear I will-"

"You will what?"

"I will fuck your shit backwAAAAH!" I wince in pain as she starts twisting my arm.

"We both know you're not gonna do anything," she says with a grin as she releases her death grip on my poor wrist. "Now get outta here, and I better not see you again."

"You know I would fuck you up something real if I could," I spit out, trying my hardest to burn a hole through her face with my glare.

"I know," she smirks.

I push her away, maintaining a death glare as I nurse my sore wrist with my other hand, watching as she makes her way back to the weight rack.

'Jesus Christ, woman. What the fuck is wrong with you?' I mutter under my breath, walking away from the gym. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her? Since when is the gym hers? I just wanted to cut through here to get to the cafeteria faster. She was just lifting, it's not like I caught her doing something... well, worse.

Shaking my head to get rid of those thoughts, I finally arrive at the cafeteria and grab a tray. Aside from that particular girl, life in Canterlot High has been pretty good overall. Especially the food. Man, Applejack's granny makes a mean apple pie.

Sitting down at my usual table, I take a bite of my steak and sigh heavily. It's not the first time I 'run' into Gilda, and she seems to have made it a personal point to annoy me whenever I'm unlucky enough to enter her field of view. I could defend myself if I wanted to, and she knows it, but she would never let me win. Being on every sports team at Canterlot High, she would probably get a bunch of jocks to humiliate me, or maybe even beat my ass up or something if I somehow dared to defy her.

I take another bite and chew angrily, glaring at nothing in particular. During the past two months, she's managed to give me a couple of bruises, steal nearly a hundred bucks from me and ruin the only date I had managed to get so far since I joined this school. Granted, I would have put an end to the date myself anyway, as I can't stand fashion nor German accents, but still.
Clearly, she wants war.

I shall give her what she wants, in fact. As soon as I'm done eating this bomb ass piece of-

"Hiya Nonny!"

A pink blur stirs me out of my thoughts, and my eyes settle on a pair of large blue ones.

"Hey Ponko."

She giggles and boops my nose with a finger. "What are you doing? Why are you eating alone?"

I scratch my nose (which now smells of frosting) and raise an eyebrow. "Huh? I always eat alone."

"But you have friends! It's mean to stay alone when you have friends! Why don't you come sit at our table? You know the girls love having you around!"

Ah yes, 'the girls'. Pinkie's crazy group of friends who blast on bad students with magical rainbow lasers and shit. Not that Pinkie isn't crazy herself, but I can handle her alone. At least I think so. But when she's with them... even if they were normal, I'm too asocial for this shit.

"I'm eating with Rainbow Dash today, why don't you join us?"

"Alright, lead the way," I reply, sighing in defeat.

I wish I could eat alone in peace, but I don't exactly have a choice. I mean, the last time I refused to join Pinkie and her friends, she sneaked into my house at two in the morning and held me at gunpoint until I accepted to attend a bunch of parties during the following week. Sure, it was a plastic gun. Sure, she would never hurt me. And sure, I had the time of my life getting shitfaced and beating up Flash Sentry for throwing up on me, but still... Pinkie Pie is scary.

I reluctantly get up and grab my food, following her to the other side of the room.

"Hiya Dash! This is Anon, do you remember him?"

The blue girl deadpans. "Pinkie... we've known each other for what, two months?"

"Oh... I should throw a two month anniversary party. Don't you think so, Anon?"

"Sure, whatever the hell you say, Ponk," I reply as I sit down next to Rainbow Dash.

"'Sup Anon."

"Hey Dash. What's up?"

"You know, the usual. Being awesome and all that stuff."

"Sure," I grunt and take a bite of my apple pie. Dash will never change, but damn. Everything is better with pie.

"So, I heard Gilda is giving you trouble?"

I swallow and raise an eyebrow. "Huh? You know Gilda?"

"Well, duh! We used to be best friends back in middle school, but..." she trails off, looking down.

"What happened?"

"She changed... a lot."

"Yeah? Well, you guys still talk, don't you?"

"Sometimes... we're both in the soccer team, but we don't hang out like we used to anymore."

"Oh. Well, that's a damn shame."

"Yeah, she was a good friend," Rainbow says in a sulking tone, oblivious to my sarcasm.

"So, can't you tell her to leave me alone or something? I'm getting really tired of her shit."

Rainbow Dash glares at me, before raising both eyebrows. "Wait, you mean..."

"What?"

"She's bullying you?"

Ouch. Being bullied is one thing, but admitting to a girl that you're being bullied by another girl... who just happens to be her former best friend... well, that would have really hurt my virility, had I been any virile to begin with.

"You could say that."

"Oh boy, Gilda will never leave you alone. You can be sure of that."

Great.

"Why? What's her problem? I never did anything to her."

"We should go confront her!" Pinkie says as she gets up, a determined expression upon her face.

"No, Pinkie. That would only make things worse, trust me," Rainbow says.

Pinkie frowns and sits back down, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "But, but, but! She's a meanie, Dash! She will hurt Nonny again, I can't let that happen!"

"Don't worry Pinkie, I can handle myself," I interject.

"Against Gilda?" Rainbow Dash chuckles.

"Yeah, why not?"

She shakes her head and sighs. "I wouldn't try that if I were you, but..."

"Come on, girls! Are you hiding something from me?"

"Nah. C'mon, let's take a walk," Rainbow says as she gets up, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You and me."

"I'm not done eating," I reply, pointing a finger at the few crumbles of apple pie that remain on my plate.

"You're fat enough, c'mon!"

"I'm not fat," I frown. "I'm big boned."

I sigh, getting up and following Rainbow Dash out of the cafeteria, while Pinkie rants about how friends don't let friends hanging even if they let friends hanging by not letting other friends hanging or some shit.

This girl needs to ease up on the sugar.
And the cocaine.

"So, where are we going?"

"You'll see," the prismatic girl answers with a smirk. Man, today is gonna be one of those days...

As we exit the school, I run into a white girl, knocking her on her ass. I frown and extend a hand, which she reluctantly grabs.

"Anonyme! Regarde où tu vas!"

I help her up and cross my arms as she dusts herself off, looking at me in disdain. Someone ought to tell her that names aren't supposed to be translated or something.

"I haven't seen you in French class since the very first lesson, Anonyme, darling," she says, putting emphasis on the words 'very first'.

I frown. "Yeah, because it's boring. I'd rather spend time in physics class, at least I learn useful things there."

"I'm with Anon on this one," Rainbow chimes in. "I'd rather learn how to make homemade napalm than how to say mushy stuff in another language! I know a couple of insults, and that's all I'll ever need to know."

"But, Rainbow Dash, darling! It's the language of love!"

Rainbow lets out a small giggle. "Whatever, Rare."

"Yeah," I add. "You know you're pretty much the only student in the entire school who's actually interested in it, right?"

Rarity shrugs and walks away. "You're all so... humph. Unrefined."

Rainbow resumes walking and I follow her. "What's her deal?" I ask her, still following a few feet behind, and silently wondering where she's taking me.

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Whatever it is... she sounds even fancier and more annoying than before," I blurt out.

"I have to admit... why would anyone want to learn a language past the point where they can already call people dick eaters in that language?"

"My thoughts exactly," I chuckle. "So Dash, where are we going?"

"Oh, nowhere in particular. I just wanted to take a walk with you."

I raise an eyebrow, eyeing her carefully. "That's all?"

"Yeah, that's all," she says flatly as she takes a left. She comes to a halt behind the school and looks around warily, before beckoning me to come closer with a finger.

"Dash, what's going on?"

"Listen Anon. Do you trust me?"

"Uh... I guess, yeah?"

"Yes or no?"

"I think so. Why?"

"I know how you can get Gilda to stop bullying you," she whispers, still shooting various glances around us.

"Really? I'm all ears."

"Shh."

"Dash, what are you-"

She turns around and throws a punch behind her, hitting nothing but air. She scoffs and turns back, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry for that, I thought I heard something."

"What the hell is going on?"

"Listen to me."

"I'm listening! You're the one who's trying to box the air."

She frowns, before clearing her throat. "You have to ask her out."

"Oh. Okay."

Wait, what?

"Good. Let's-"

"Wait, what?"

"What, what? You have to ask Gilda out! On a date!" she almost shouts, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What the hell? Why the fuck would I do that?"

"I know her, alright? Ask her out in front of everyone, she'll freak out and leave you alone."

"Are you sure? That sounds really stupid, like something out of a bad fanfiction."

"Look, I know how she works! We've been best friends for over ten years! I'm telling you, if she knows that anyone saw you asking her out, she'll make sure never to come close to you, ever again. She wouldn't ever want to be seen with someone who tried to get all mushy with her."

I put a hand to my chin and stroke my skin, wishing that I could grow a beard. "I guess that makes sense, but... well, I hope you're right."

"I am," she smiles. "Come on, let's get back. We have soccer this afternoon, do your move when the match ends."

"I don't play sports," I deadpan.

"Just drop by the gym when your classes are over," she says, frowning in annoyance. "Jeez!"

"Alright, alright... shit, Dash. This better work."

"It will," she simply replies, walking back towards the school as I follow her, pondering her words. Gilda hasn't been the bane of my existence per se, but I will gladly do that if it can force her to stop with her shit... what's her deal anyway? Seriously. Bullied by a girl for months... man. Maybe Dash is right.
Maybe I should hit the gym.

God, this is boring. I have no idea why, but after physics ended, I decided to check out the French class. Maybe so that I could call Gilda a carpet muncher in a language she doesn't know... but I didn't think it would be that boring. Everyone is either chatting or sleeping, except Rarity, that is. Rarity who, from the looks of it, is having a full blown conversation with the professor, a very lanky white woman with pale pink hair.

I glance at my watch and shake my head. Soccer practice should end in half an hour. Should I really follow Dash's advice and ask Gilda out in front of everyone? That sounds like a very bad idea, if ever there was one. But then Rainbow seemed adamant that this was my only option if I wanted it to stop... maybe it won't be so bad.

Feminine voices stir me out of my thoughts, and I glance at the fiery-haired girl sitting next to me, who's herself glaring at a light blue girl with silver hair sitting nearby.

"What does Flash Sentry look like?"

Heh. I wonder what they're talking about. The light blue girl doesn't seem to-

"Does he look like a bitch?" the orange girl asks angrily.

"Yeah," I interject, earning a glare from Sunset Shimmer, and a smirk from Trixie. As far as I can remember, Flash Sentry does look kind of like a bitch.

Suddenly, the bell rings and everyone wakes up (and gets up), except Rarity and the professor, Flour-du-Less or whatever the hell her name is.

"Stay away from him," Sunset barks at the magician girl, who simply shrugs. They both get up and walk out of the classroom, arguing about... uh, who makes the tastiest burgers or something?
Girls... man, I don't think I'll ever understand them.

I look at my watch again, and snort loudly. I have a good twenty minutes before I can make my move... shit. Am I really gonna do that? Am I really gonna go through with this stupid fucking idea?
Ask the meanest, toughest, most unladylike bitch in all of Canterlot High out on a date? Sure, it's not like it's for real, but still... and in front of the whole soccer team? I mean, the whole point is to have other people witness it, but... fuck.

Well, at best they'll think that I have balls, or that I like tomboys. And maybe that I have a death wish.
At worst, they'll probably just laugh at me while Gilda slaps me. Not like it would be the first time... I suppose I can live with that. A man's gotta try, right? After all, what's the worst that could-

"Hey, Anonymous!"

Once again, my thoughts are interrupted by a high pitched voice. I turn around and frown. Oh man, not her again...

"What do you want, Blaze?"

"Anon... I told you to call me Aria."

"Yeah but 'Aria it faggot' doesn't work."

She rolls her eyes. "Look, are you free tonight?"

"No. I'm not free right now either, I gotta go. I got things to do."

"Wanna drop by my house and see us practicing?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. "Listen Aria, I know that you girls really want to become famous and everything, but you can't sing."

"Are you turning down an invitation to watch the Dazzlings practicing? Many guys would sell their mother for-"

"Yes I'm turning it down. As I told you already, you girls just can't sing worth shit."

"Is it because the lineup of our band has changed? I know Flitter and Blossomforth aren't as good as Sonata and Adagio, but-"

"No, it's not that. None of you can sing."

"B-but! But you liked us before!"

"No, I didn't."

"You did! You recorded us on your phone during the finale of the battle of the bands!"

"Yeah, so?"

"So you liked us!"

"No. I just needed visual evidence to get the National Guard to come down there and blast your asses back to wherever the hell you're from."

"You were..."

"Yeah. You enslaved the whole school, what did you expect? I don't know how they do things back in your world, but here we don't take kindly to that sort of shit."

She harrumphs and turns her head away. I shrug and walk away, only to feel something tugging on my shirt.

"Aria... Jesus, can't you leave me alone?"

"Can I see it again? Please?"

"You've seen it dozens of times already."

"Please?" she grovels, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.

"Goddammit... fine," I growl, taking out my phone and starting the video.

"It's so beautiful..." she trails off, sighing dreamily at the sight of her and her friends getting defeated by whatever that thing even was.
And then people wonder why I don't want to hang out with a bunch of crazy teenager girls who can grow equine ears when they sing and summon a giant magical rainbow beam able to defeat villains from another dimension.
Why did I decide to move to Canterlot anyway?

"Whatever the hell you say, Blaze. I gotta go, see you later."

"Later, Anonymous... thank you again!"

I shake my head and trail my palms down my face. This is just my luck, really. The only girl in the school who cares about me turned to be some weird monster from a magical world full of small horses, who somehow became a teenage girl after being banished or whatever happened to her.
Why is this my life again?

I eventually arrive in front of the door leading to the gym, and take a deep breath. Am I seriously about to do this?

Yes, I am. I'm a man on a mission.
Let's do it.

I open the door and walk up to the bleachers, taking a seat and watching the last few minutes of the match without much interest. I hardly even know the rules of soccer, or any sport, really. Obviously, whatever team Rainbow Dash and Gilda are on is winning by a landslide.

Eventually the match ends and I get up, walking uneasily towards Gilda, who seems to be chatting with two huge guys. I hear a whistle and turn around, spotting Rainbow Dash winking at me. She wipes the sweat off her brow and points at Gilda with a finger, giving me a thumb up with the other hand while I simply stare at her.

Alright Anon, that's it. Moment of truth. Don't be a pussy now.

I approach Gilda and clear my throat, before tapping on her toned shoulder with a hand. She turns back and glares at me with her fiery eyes.

"What the hell do you want, dweeb?"

"I... uh, hi."

Less beta, more alpha.

Fuck you brain, I don't remember you helping me much today.

The athletic girl keeps glaring at me, tapping her foot impatiently. "I said, what the hell do you want?"

Clearing my throat again, I shake my head and mentally brace myself for the incoming disaster.

"I like you, and I want you."

"I... WHAT?" Gilda nearly screams, while the two jocks next to her erupt in laughter.

"Yeah. You wanna go out with me tonight? My treat."

"I..." she trails off, her eye twitching as she nervously looks at the two guys, who are still busy laughing their asses off.

She turns back to face me and grabs me by the collar, still frowning angrily. "Meet me behind the school at eight o'clock," she says with a faint blush forming on her cheeks. "If anyone hears about this, you're so dead."

She walks away, leaving me there alone, standing in the middle of the gym, as everyone walks out.
What just happened?