Destination Still Unknown

I weakly open an eye, and quickly wish I hadn't. This is one dirty ass... urgh, room? Basement? Whatever the fuck this is... where am I?
What happened?

"I THINK HE'S AWAKE!" a male voice shouts next to me, causing me to jump. I look to my right and frown, now fully awake.

"Snips? Snails? What are you two faggots doing? Where are we?"

"Shut up, Anon," Snips says. "COME DOWN, HE'S AWAKE!" he shouts again, towards what seems to be a set of stairs.

"Quit screaming, for fuck's sake! My head hurts!"

"I said shut up."

I get up and punch him in the face, knocking him out cold.
Well, that went better than expected.

I glare at Snails. "You want some too?"

"You don't scare me."

Another punch, another little prick out of commission.
This is boring. I guess even in real life, bad guys like to use the most inept people they can find as henchmen.

Suddenly, a faint light comes from upstairs, casting a shadow on the wall behind me as a familiar figure makes its way down.
What the fuck...

"Blaze?"

The purple-haired girl frowns as she comes fully into view, crossing her arms. "I told you to call me Aria."

"What the hell are you doing? What am I doing here? Where are we?"

"I asked you. I asked you nicely. You know I always liked you. And still, you went on a date with that stupid... bitch!"

What? Seriously, what?

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm better than Gilda in every aspect."

As much as I hate to admit it, I would have had to agree a day or two ago. But now...

"How so? Gilda bullies me, but she doesn't kidnap me."

She looks away.

"And if she did, she would take measures to make sure I can't retaliate," I add, throwing a wild punch at her face to drive my point home, only to get knocked back by a powerful shockwave of energy. Aria Blaze starts to laugh, pointing a finger at me.

"I can't believe you thought I hadn't planned for that."

I get up, feeling a little wobbly. I dust my pants off and glare at her. "What was that?"

She smiles, pointing another finger at a fragment of what looks like a ruby on her necklace. "That stupid Twilight Sparkle and her friends may have destroyed the source of our powers, but those things still hold some power. Nobody can cause direct physical harm to me."

As I reach for her neck with a hand, she puts a hand up and smiles. "And of course, nobody can snatch it away from me."

Well, shit.
Maybe I should go for the obvious question...

"What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you. I want you."

"Cool. But I don't want you, so please, let me go?"

She stares at me for a few seconds before bursting in laughter. I frown, definitely not amused. Where's Gilda? Is she okay? Shit, I gotta get outta here and find her!

"Did you seriously think that would work?" she asks between laughs.

"No."

"You know, I've been nice to you, I've been trying to get you to like me for a while..."

"And obviously, asking me to listen to your awful off-key singing seemed like the sensible option to you?"

"I AM THE GREATEST SINGER EQUESTRIA HAS EVER KNOWN!" she screams, stomping the ground with a foot.

"I don't doubt that, but this isn't Equestria, whatever Equestria even is. And here, you can't sing worth shit."

"You leave me no choice. You will go out on a date with me tonight, and you will like it," she says, hitting a switch on a wall nearby, causing a curtain to drop, and revealing-

"GILDA? ARIA, WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Now listen, you come with me tonight, or I'll make sure she never walks out of here."

Well, that's it, she's gone off the deep end.
I should have seen this coming, in all honesty. She had gotten worse and worse during the past two weeks or so... now, she probably wouldn't last a week before the cops storm the place, but even though she's out of her fucking mind, she probably has a plan already, so perhaps I should play along until I can come up with a plan on my own.

"And of course, hurting my girlfriend is a surefire way to win my heart, right?"

"Trust me," she smirks.

Did I just call Gilda my girlfriend?

"I wouldn't go so far as to use the word 'trust', but fine. I'll come with you tonight," I reply, turning my head away and staring at a gagged, bound, and scared Gilda. I wink at her, hoping that it will convey the reassuring 'I have a plan, don't worry', rather than something along the lines of 'I'mma get some purple pussy tonight'.
She nods slowly, closing her damp eyes.

Wait, did she say tonight? Did she drag me all the way back to her house yesterday, and I only woke up now? Did she drug me?

"By the way," Aria says, "I need you to come with me. We'll go back to my house, so you can take a shower. I can't have my boyfriend looking like he's just been kidnapped, now can I?"

Holy shit, how did I go so long without realizing that this girl was completely batshit fucking insane? And that means that we're not at her house... so where are we?

"Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to blindfold you first. If you know where we are, then you might just get some crazy ideas about helping your ex."

Goddammit... alright, alright.
It's fine, just play along, Anon. This girl is completely insane, there is no way in hell she can possibly have a reliable and lasting plan. There will be flaws, she will make mistakes, and you will be ready to exploit that.
Then you will come back here, wherever 'here' even is, you will free Gilda, and you will-

"Come on, Anon. We don't have all day."

I sigh, letting her blindfold me before slowly following her up the stairs, my mind focused on Gilda. I gotta free her... what if I just grab Aria's midsection and yank her backwards? That could knock her out or even kill her, but I don't have much of-

"Let's go."

And we're already upstairs. Damn it.

Can't I just make a run for it? After all, I can just take that stupid blindfold off and run, right?

"Aria, you do know that I could just take that blindfold off and make a run for it, right?"

"Yes, but you won't," she replies calmly.

"Why is that?"

"Because deep inside, you love me. I just know it."

Now I know I said she couldn't possibly have a reliable plan, but this is just... sad.

"Oh, look at that! What a beautiful sunset... too bad you can't see it, right?"

Goddamn, what time is it?

"Yeah... too bad."

Too bad for her, actually. Because that blindfold is a thin ass piece of white tissue, and I can see almost perfectly through it. RS Haul? Why the hell did she bring us to some abandoned truck depot on the edge of the city? Doesn't she know that I live literally a hundred yards down that street?

Maybe she still believes things work like in that Equestria place she keeps talking about? I don't suppose horses would know much about kidnapping, after all.

"You alright Anon?"

"Sure, and it's totally not suspicious."

"What do you mean?"

As much as I hate cops, now would be a good time for some of them to show up.

20 minutes later.

"Here we are!" she says, taking the blindfold off.

"Oh. Well, isn't that a lovely little house," I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Gotta admit though, it is somewhat lovely. Better than my house, at least.

"You can go upstairs, Anon. Go take a shower, I will, um... go get ready myself. We leave in forty-five minutes, alright?"

I grunt and walk upstairs, entering the bathroom and stripping naked before stepping into the shower. As the hot water washes all over me, my mind starts to wander, trying to figure out a way to put an end to all of this.
Peacefully, if at all possible.

Now I could just make a run for it, go free Gilda and call the cops on Aria or something like that, but that necklace of hers... I need to get my hands on it, somehow. At least, her two friends are 'normal' now, and they stopped hanging out with her when she started taking interest in me, which was about six weeks ago or so. Something about how they were gorgeous creatures and I was just a puny human, or something like that.
Women...

So hopefully, she won't have any help. She couldn't possibly have had the strength to drag me and Gilda all the way back to the depot on her own, so I assume that this is what Snips and Snails were here for, and they're possibly the least threatening 'help' anyone could have. If anything, they're more of a threat to the person they're 'helping'.

I walk out of the shower and put my clothes back on, frowning at the smell of sweat. Remembering Roseluck's little gift, I reach inside my jacket's front pocket and grab the can of air freshener, spraying some of it around me, and a little on my clothes, before putting it back in my pocket. This actually smells quite nice... flower girl knows her shit.

I quickly comb my hair and make a weird pose in front of the mirror. Man, I look pretty handsome for someone who's just been kidnapped.

"Anon! Are you done?" Aria asks, knocking softly on the door.

Right. I still have that to deal with...

"Yeah, I'm coming. You ready too?"

"Of course, I am."

A girl who's ready before I am? Damn, I could live with that.

Anon, what are you doing?

Nothing, brain. I'm just saying.

Well, you'd better think about a plan to get us outta here.

You're the brains, faggot.

...touché.

I open the door and flash Aria a smile.

"Look at this handsome motherfucker right there."

She grins, and blows me a kiss.
Damn it, that was supposed to be cringeworthy... oh well, I'll have other opportunities to drive her away from me tonight. Especially if we're gonna be eating...

A few minutes later, we're on our way to wherever it is she's taking us. As it turns out, she lives close to me, and close to the depot. That will probably make my plan easier, at least once I've come up with one.

"So, where are we going?"

"Giovanni's."

Really? That shitty pizza joint I was going to take Gilda to yesterday? Gilda... what's up between us, anyway? I didn't really have much time to think about it, I was more focused on the fact that she was tied up in a dirty basement, but we definitely had something going on yesterday. And back in the warehouse, she looked at me like I was the only person in the world who could help her...
Well, given the situation, I guess I was, but... shit. I don't know if I'm falling for her, but we clearly had a connection yesterday. That hug, the way she clenched my hand in between her fingers as if letting go meant death... I really gotta find a way to get rid of Aria's necklace, and fast.

"Here we are, Anon. Isn't it beautiful?"

A bunch of greasy, sweaty, bearded cooks yelling in Italian while cheesy classical music plays... my eye twitches.

"Yeah, I love it."

She walks up to a waiter and smiles. "Good evening, I reserved a table."

"Under the name?"

"Anonymous," she says with a large smile.

Son of a bitch... well, at least I guess that means she didn't touch my wallet.

"Right," the waiter says. "This way, Miss Anonymous."

"This is so romantic!" she squees.

Damn, that's cute.

Damn it, Anon! You're on a mission here.

Alright, alright.

We sit at a table and she grabs her menu.

"What are you gonna eat, Anon?"

As if she needed to ask.

"Spaghetti, of course."

"Oh... what about a single plate for the both of us? That would be so romant-"

"No way."

"Why?"

"I'm hungry!"

"Oh," she says flatly, her face dropping.

I'm trying to play along, but shit, I'm not doing that. Besides, now that I think about it, the only thing that I ate in the last thirty hours or so was a bowl of popcorn.

With Gilda... damn it, why do I keep thinking about her?

No brain, don't answer that.

Once again I'm stirred out of my thoughts, this time by the waiter smiling at us.

"I'll have a calzone," Aria says.

I shrug. "I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven-"

"Wait, wait, sir. I, um... I think you're mistaken. We do not have, um, fast food menus here."

"Trash can bitch."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll have spaghetti all'arrabbiata."

"Good choice, sir."

"You're damn right it's a good choice. And can you turn that damn music off? This ain't the opera."

The waiter winces at my rudeness, but simply nods before walking away. And Aria is... giggling?

"Anon, I love your bad boy attitude. It's so funny, I didn't know you were like that!"

This is not going the way I wanted it to.

"Huh? Yeah, you know. I aim to please."

How can she giggle at that corny shit? I guess I'm not gonna manage to shock her that way, and I don't wanna ruin my clothes just by eating messily on purpose... hopefully, eating will help me come up with a plan B. Or simply plan A? Scratch that, why do I even call these plans? I don't have a remote fucking idea what I'm doing.

We make small talk for about fiteen minutes, or more exactly, she tells me about her time as a 'siren' back in that horse dimension, and I pretend to listen, feigning interest. Whether what she says is true or not, she's completely insane.
Nobody in their right mind could possibly come up with such things.

Eventually the waiter comes back with our food, and I lick my lips. As I'm about to dig in, I hear my 'date' clear her throat.

"Um, sir?"

"Yes Miss?" the waiter inquires.

"Could we please have a bottle of your most expensive red wine? And some candles?"

Really? Is this how it's gonna play out? Is she really doing that shit right now?

"Right away, Miss."

"Thanks a lot, handsome."

That feel when she wants me as her boyfriend bad enough to kidnap me, but she's still flirting with a waiter who's old enough to be her father.
Girls, man... no, not girls. Bitches like her.

"I didn't know you drank, Aria."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Anon... where to start?"

"Dunno."

The waiter comes back again and places three candles on the table, before lighting them and opening a fancy looking bottle of wine.

"Maybe we should talk about you..." she suggests.

"Or maybe we shouldn't."

"Do you, um, do you have a fetish?"

Fucking really?

"Yeah."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Silence," I smirk and dig into my food. This isn't the best spaghetti I ever had, but it's alright. Especially after running on an empty stomach for over a day.

"Don't eat too fast, Anon. I wouldn't want you to get sick... we're gonna get really busy tonight," she says in a sultry tone. "You need some strength but you also need to be able to perform."

I give her a blank stare before my brain processes what she's talking about, causing me to choke on my spaghetti. After coughing for a minute straight, I glower at her with as much hate as I can muster, before sighing.
She's not worth it.

She's not fucking worth it.

I keep eating in silence, shooting glances at her necklace. There has to be a way to get her to take it off somehow...

"Do you like 'em, Anon?"

"Huh?"

"You're staring at my breasts," she says with a smile.

No, I'm not. But let's pretend that I am for a minute.

"Uh, yeah, I'm sorry... yeah. They're really pretty."

They don't have shit on Gilda's. Hers are toned, perky... Aria's are just small, saggy lumps of flesh.

But... boobies, dude!

Shut up, brain.

That wasn't me, that was penis.

Shut up, both of you.

"I'm glad you like them," she says, swaying slightly on her chair. Is she... tipsy?

"Hey Aria, you're gonna drink all that wine?"

"You want some?"

"Nah, go ahead, I don't drink."

"You're the perfect guy..." she trails off, drinking straight from the bottle.

Yeah, she's pretty gone. That makes things easier, I suppose. Now to get that goddamn necklace...

I point at it, and feign interest. "What is this, anyway? It's beautiful, is it a ruby?"

She looks down and giggles. "Yep, it's an enchanted ruby! Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's beautiful. I'd like to have one like that."

"Really?" she giggles again, now with a noticeable slur in her voice.

"Yeah... mind if I try it on?"

"Sure, go ahead!" she smiles, taking it off and handing it to me.

I stare at it in confusion, before shaking my head and putting it on. So what now? She's drunk, powerless and defenseless, and I'm supposedly immune to physical harm.
Is this too easy or what?

I'm not sure if the necklace is giving me powers, but I suddenly get an idea.

"Hey Aria, wanna go back to that warehouse?"

"Uh? Why?" she asks, way too drunk to even realize that I shouldn't know where it is, nor that it is a warehouse.

"We could go do things in front of Gilda, make her jealous and everything."

She gets an evil gleam in her eye, and smirks. "That's a great idea! Lead the way, Amomynous."

"I think you should stick to 'Anon' when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk."

"Of course you're not, c'mon, let's go."

I grab a hundred dollar bill from my wallet and put it on the table before getting up and helping Aria up, but not before snatching a candle. I love candles. I have several shelves with nothing but candles of all sizes and shapes at home.
Shit is so cash.

"Come here, I'm gonna take care of you."

"I love you Anon..."

"Whatever you say."

Yeah, I'm gonna take care of her alright. She starts walking in front of me and I take off the necklace, putting it in my pocket. Following her outside, I shiver at the cold night air. Damn it, how hot was it in that restaurant?

"Here we are," I say as I help the drunken girl down the stairs. She sits down on (or more exactly, lets herself fall to) the ground and gives me a sultry look, ignoring the snoring bodies of Snips and Snails. These guys... these fucking guys, I swear.

"Come here, Anon..."

"Yeah, I'm coming."

I sit down and reach inside my pocket, grabbing the candle I snatched back at the restaurant and placing it on the ground next to me. "Look what I got! Ain't that romantic?"

"Do you have a lighter?" I add before she can squee.

"Uh... no?"

"Alright, I'm gonna look around the room, there's a lot of junk everywhere, there'll probably be a lighter lying around somewhere."

"Okay... should I take my clothes off for you?"

I wince internally. "Sure, babe. Whatever makes you comfortable."

"You're going to make me very comfortable..."

Urgh. "You know it."

Walking up to where Gilda was being held, I slip under the curtain and lay a hand on her arm, causing her to jolt awake.

She attempts to scream through her gag, before realizing who I am.

"It's me, Gilda. I'm gonna get you outta here, I promise. You're just gonna have to wait a few more minutes, but it's almost over," I whisper softly, kissing her on the cheek, oblivious to what she's seeing. I turn around upon hearing the telltale clattering sound of metal on concrete, and raise an eyebrow at a topless Aria Blaze batting her eyelashes at me. Urgh...

The poor girl's scared expression becomes one of fear and betrayal, and I give her another kiss. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do shit. I got her right where I want her, I'm gonna knock-"

I'm cut off as something grabs me by the back of my shirt, pulling me backwards. I fall to the ground next to a giggling, and fully naked Aria.

"Gimme a kiss, Anon!"

"Wait," I say, grabbing my lighter and lighting the candle, before putting it back on the floor next to us.

"Now it's better, come on! Kiss me!" she closes her eyes and pucker her lips.

I pucker my lips and close the distance, only to burst in laughter when her lips connect with my raised middle finger.

"Yeah, no."

"What?"

"Uh-uh. Not happening."

"Anon? I-I thought-"

"You thought wrong. Look, it's over, alright? You're drunk, I have your stupid necklace, I know where we are, and the next thing you'll know is how much you miss your house when you're sitting in a cold prison cell."

It's her turn to smirk as she reaches behind her, pulling out a... pistol.
Shit.

"You're gonna kiss me right now. And you're gonna-"

"Wait."

Thankfully, she's drunk enough to remain easy to manipulate. And thankfully, I had a plan C all along.

I grab the candle off the ground and bring it up to her face.

"Do you see that?"

She cocks her head to the side, lowering her weapon. "See what?"

"Look at the flame, Aria."

I slowly reach into my jacket, and grab the can of air freshener.

"I don't see anything!"

"Look... closer."

As she gets close enough to the flame to singe her eyebrows, I bring the nozzle of the can to eye level.

"Hey, Aria?"

"Yes? I..." her eyes unfocus, and widen in horror as she drops the gun. She can see my smirk, and what stands between me and the fire.

"Blaze it."

I push down on the nozzle, engulfing her face in a stream of hellfire, instantly searing her eyebrows and burning her hair. I grab her pistol by the barrel, throw the can aside and smack her on the side of the head with the butt of the gun, knocking her out. Since I don't want to completely disfigure her, I quickly grab her green jacket off the ground and wrap it over her head, smothering the fire and pushing her unconscious body aside, before rushing to Gilda, firing a bullet in both chains holding her legs to the ground.

I tear her gag off and help her up, gently stroking her hair. "Shh, it's over. I'm gonna take you home and we're gonna have a nice, hot shower together before spending the night in a proper bed."

She frowns. "You better not be trying to-"

"I am. I will cuddle you whether you like it or not."

"...as much as I want?"

"As much as you want."

She scrunches her face and stares intensely at me. "Can you hold my hand again?"

I reach for her hand, smiling as we make our way up the stairs.
Maybe I'll spare Rainbow Dash's life, after all.

"Gilda?"

"Yes?"

I turn around and place both hands on her cheeks, bringing her in for a kiss. She doesn't object, happily returning the gesture.

"Anon..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you... for everything. I'm so sorry, I put us both in this mess..."

"No, you didn't. And anyway, we got out, didn't we? This bitch is gonna spend a long time away, I'm telling you."

"Still, it was my fault... if I hadn't treated you like that, you wouldn't have... you know."

"I guess, but if you hadn't treated me like that, I would have never discovered this side of you. I would have kept thinking that you were just an annoying cunt."

"I'm still an annoying cunt..."

"Yeah. But you're my annoying cunt."

"...shut up."

"Gilda?"

"Hm?"

"I think I love you."

"Shut up, dweeb," she says in a playful tone, blushing heavily.

"So I'm still a dweeb?"

"You're my dweeb."

We both walk out of the warehouse, and into the night. Even in her current, messy state, she's just as gorgeous as she was yesterday, and the moonlight reflecting in her eyes does nothing to tarnish their sheer beauty. Those eyes... honestly.

"Dweeb?"

"Yeah?" I chuckle.

"Are my eyes that beautiful?"

"You have no idea."

She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a beautiful flower.

"As beautiful as this?"

"You kept it?"

"Well, it's really beautiful... plus, it was given to me by someone I really like."

Looking into her dreamy eyes again, I smirk and she shakes her head, her expression reverting to the usual state.

"I mean, it's the only proof that you are the one who asked me out. I don't want people to think I can get so low as to ask a dweeb like you out."

"Whatever you say, Gilda."

"Anon?"

"Hm?"

"Will you hold me all night?"

"You know the answer to that question, don't you?"

"Idiot," she blurts out before grinning. "I think I love you too."

She wraps an arm around my waist, and I wrap one around her upper back, holding her close as she lays her head on my shoulder. I sigh happily as we walk into the night, and towards... well, I don't know where she lives, and as things stand, I'm not too eager to find out just yet.