Searching for Answers

'This is strange. I am actually enjoying myself.' I thought as I carefully poured the birds food, trying to keep my head from moving around too much so I would not disturb the squirrel currently sleeping on my head. I kinda like this cottage, it reminds me of my old home. A nice secluded place out in the middle of nowhere, there I would take care of any stray animals that wondered onto my property. I have always liked animals. They are incredibly loyal to those that treat them well, and they do not lie to me.

"Hm, this complicates things."

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing important, just talking to myself again!"

"Okay then."

I may be crazy, but I have always returned a favor. You show me an act of kindness, I return said kindness. You do something rotten to me, I use your intestines as a jump-rope. You do something stupid, I dissect your brain to try and find out what went wrong. This Fluttershy has done nothing to deserve my ire, on the contrary, she has offered: medical attention, I place to stay, has been completely understanding of my want for privacy without even attempting to pry any further into who or what I am (I just told her about how I have no idea where I am, and that I somehow got stranded in the forest. If it was not the truth, I would have called her gullible for actually buying that. I also told her my name is Sanguis, because I do not feel comfortable with giving them my real name for some reason. It is an odd feeling that I cannot really explain, like something bad could happen if they learn my name, and Sanguis is a badass name, better than Whathaveigottenmyselfinto anyway.), and most of all she gave me food! Now THAT was an interesting experience.

"Here you go." Fluttershy ever-so-quietly said as she handed (hoofed?) me a bowl of stew.

"Thanks Flutters!" Of course, since I had not eaten since I was summoned, I was understandably very hungry. I was very happy to note that the stew was in-fact delicious.

"This is great! What did you put in this?"

She seemed to perk up at the compliment, likely worried about guessing my dietary needs wrong. She replied with; "I just went with a basic vegetable stew with some fish added in. Angle Bunny is very picky, so I got a lot of practice cooking, and I noticed your teeth and guessed that your diet is similar to a bear's.

"Well your guess was pretty accurate. Is there anything you need help with? I don't like to freeload."

"I know just the thing. I need to go to Ponyville soon to buy more food for my animals, so if you want to you could help me finish up giving them the last of whats left before we go, and maybe Twilight can help you find your home!"

"That seems like a good idea to me!"

Well, that wasn't all that interesting after all, kinda mundane actually. Well, as mundane as eating stew with a Pegasus can be. I am not sure what I was expecting, maybe for her to be worried about me being a predator, but she DOES have a bear, so that would just be nonsensical. But I digress, the point is that I cannot kill her as is. Even I have some moral code, so this one gets to live.

After we finished getting all of her animals fed, we left for Ponyville ('gag me with a razor, that is terrible'). Only to find that everyone was gone, except for a purple... Unicorn! The eldritch insult to nature was waving at us, and Fluttershy ran right over to it. Being careful of any possible traps from the velvet monstrosity, I walked over unable to hear what the horned horror was whispering to her. Oddly enough, it seems that Fluttershy was whispering back and I missed it because of how naturally quiet she is, as the Unicorn got an odd look on its face before turning to me and saying:

"I am sorry to hear about you getting lost Mr. Sanguis, and rest assured that I will help in any way I can. My name is Twilight-"

Stay calm, and look at this logically. She is going to be helpful, I can just let this one go. Yeah, purple is a nice color to, the color of royalty, plus Twilight is a nice name. If I just think about the Twilight-Zone when I look at her, I should be able to keep my cool. Besides, she might not be so bad. Yeah, to apologize for the various ways I planned on killing her, I will-

"Sparkle!"

Rape her nostrils while I murder everything she knows and loves! I will make her decide the order in which her friends and family die, and when she inevitably chooses to have her friends die first to buy time for her family I will laugh and kill her parents first in unnecessarily brutal and complicated ways! The two words that should never be brought together. This is much worse than I could have imagined. Not only am I dealing with unicorns, but their leader is... A GAY VAMPIRE!

The two of them really wanted me to follow them somewhere, and the whole time we were walking I was forming my plans. Just how shall I get rid of the homosexual unicorn vampire? This question plagued me until we reached a house that... was a giant gingerbread house. Meh, still not the weirdest thing I've seen, but the moment I walked inside-

"SURPRISE!"

"Gah!"

"WereyousurprisedHuhwereyouMyPinkieSensetoldmesomethingnewwascomingtoPonyvillewhichwasweirdconsideringitwassomethingandnotsomeponybutIstillwantedtomakeasurprisepartyforyouanywaysoIdidand-

*Thud* I fell to the ground... Why can't I breath? Why does my chest hurt? Oh shit, am I having a heart attack? NO! It can't end this way! My heart is perfectly healthy! THIS! SHOULD! NOT! BE! HAPPENING! I try my hardest to stand. I managed to get on one knee and I see blood on the floor. Reaching up, I can feel the blood dripping from my mouth. I notice that the ponies are staring in shock. One of them grabbed me, and is trying to lift me up. I can't tell which one it is, but I lash out with my arm anyway, I will survive this, and I do not need their help! I don't need anyone! These were my final thoughts, before I black-out completely.