The '70s

"You got the stuff?"

"Bitch please! Why else would I be here?" Derpy replied.

"I told you not to make fun of my name!"

"Shut the fuck up. Mary wanna muffin?" The hockey mask Derpy was wearing somewhat gleamed in the moonlight. The moon was very visible from the roof top they were on.  She pulled a plastic container from the mail bag she had been wearing across her torso, which also had a baseball bat hanging loosely from it. The container was full of muffins, and she opened it up and held it out in front of the violet unicorn.

He sniffed them. "Mmmh... fuck yes!" He tried to grab them.

Derpy pulled the container away and held her baseball bat, ready to strike him. "A-a-ah! Five muffins, twenty-five dollars."

"Come on, Miss Bubbles! You know it's not worth that much."

"Each one is about twenty-five percent weed, so fuck yeah it's worth it!" She retorted lowering the bat but not letting down her guard.

"But Bubbles, I don't got that kinda mone-" And with those words, Derpy raised the bat again and planted a rather harsh, firm wack on the left side of Mary's face, hard enough to knock him to the ground.

"Its Miss Bubbles! And if you don't got that kinda money, well that's tough titties!"

"OW! Well fuck, how else do I pay?!" Asked Mary, stroking the now red but soon-to-be black and blue mark on his left cheek in pain.

Derpy looked down at the sad looking colt laying on the ground before her with a smug yet serious face through the hockey mask. "Well... there is an alternative."

"No way, your fuckin' with me, aren't you?"

"Do I sound like I'm fucking around, Mary?"

Mary paused for a moment. "Fine..." He finally replied, helping himself of the filthy concrete.

Derpy sat down, and got ready for a ride. Marry got naked and started giving her a half-lazy, half-desperate lap dance. When he finished, he put his clothes back on and looked at Derpy expectantly.

"Not bad, and a deal's a deal." Derpy handed the muffins over to Mary.

"I knew you would make me do somethin' wierd like that."

"No shit Sherlock, now fuck off."