Randomness

Part 2-B

+++++

At Sweet Apple Acres…

Applejack is staring at the phone booth Rex came in. When she had found it, it was sitting in the middle of Whitetail Wood without a soul in sight. The only sign that someone had been near it was Daisy’s basket, but she’s still missing and Applejack fears the worse might have happened. A while ago, some ponies went into White Tail Wood to find Daisy, but none of them have returned. Even a Pegasus from the Weather Patrol disappeared.

“That brings it up t’ six” says Applejack quietly to no pony in particular

Now Applejack and Big Mac have volunteered to help search for the missing ponies. Sure Applejack is scared out of her mind, considering it’s only been one day and already six ponies are missing, but she doesn’t know what worries her more. The fact that her group of friends has split up to find them, or that she has no idea what’s making the ponies disappear. She wants to say it’s a demon of some kind. But Twilight would laugh at that, and besides, demons don’t come in telephone booths. They are summoned by occult ceremonies.

Applejack snaps out of her thoughts when she hears Big Mac clear his throat. Applejack looks at Big Mac and tries to smile, but both of them know that the seriousness of the situation calls for anything but smiles, which is something Pinkie Pie has a hard time grasping. Applejack swears that the pink pony’s over-enthusiastic nature will get her in trouble one day.

“Are you ready t’ go?” asks Big Mac

“Yeah, just let me get mah stuff” replies Applejack

Applejack walks out of the barn towards her house with Big Mac at her side. Thankfully Apple Bloom and Granny Smith are visiting Braebun in Appleoosa for the week, so all she has to worry about is Big Mac, the farm, and whatever came out of that phone booth.

Both ponies stop walking and look up at the sky when they hear an explosion ring out. Applejack sees something flying in the distance with smoke trailing out of it, but she can’t really make out its shape. She squints to try to get a better sense of what the strange vehicle is, but less than a minute later, four objects pop out of it and the ship bursts into flames.  The burning object dips towards them and both ponies run out of the vehicle’s path.

Big Mac knocks Applejack to the ground and uses himself as a meat shield to cover Applejack as the burning wreckage digs into the ground and slides past them, straight into the barn. The vehicle breaks into the barn like a hot knife on butter, and a second later a fireball rolls out and flings chunks of burning debris all over Sweet Apple Acres. Half of the barn collapses into a burning mess and Applejack wiggles her way out from under her brother and watches helplessly as the barn burns. Her gaze moves from the ruins of her barn to the gash in the ground that was left behind by whatever fell out of the sky.  She doesn’t even notice that she’s covered in cinder, nor does she hear anything else except for the fires crackles and the wood groaning and collapsing on itself.

Suddenly, she feels a heavy hoof smack her on the back of the head, causing her Stetson to fall off.

“Snap out o’ it and get help!” orders Big Mac

Applejack looks at Big Mac and sees that he’s also covered in debris, and has a small amount of cuts on him, and has the hose at his hooves. Big Mac points to the town and repeats his order. Applejack nods, puts her Stetson on, and gallops away while Big Mac tries desperately to put out the inferno with the hose.

+++++

Somewhere Else…

“Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shiiiiiiiiiiit!” screams Yellow as his ejection seat spirals out of control

After ejecting from E Gadd’s ship, Yellow could’ve sworn that his brother went with him, but he was horribly mistaken. He’s certain that his brother didn’t eject, but a part of him tells himself that his brother will be okay. But when he sees E Gadd’s ship crash, and explode, in the barn he feels a lump shoot up in his throat and his head begins to swirl. There no way Blue could be dead. No way! He and his brother had traveled across the Mushroom World with the Mario Brothers to save Princess Peach and they’ve done other things, like Go-Karting, golfing, fencing, and good old fashioned sparring. Well, not Blue, the sparring was between him and the Mario Brothers. He feels a sudden mix of sadness and anger. Sure Blue had been a douche bag when it came to forcing all the alcohol and tar out of his body on more than one occasion (which was ridiculously painful), but he knew Blue did out of love and not because he didn’t have any other lab rats to test his spells on.

“No, nonononono! No! He can’t be dead!” cries Yellow

He clenches his fists and looks up at the nearly cloudless sky and curses at whatever high power might be “watching” over him.

“Well this is just fantastic!” yells Yellow to the heavens “Is this some kinda joke you sick bastards! Was this revenge for me forcing Blue to go?”

Before Yellow can finish his tangent, a sparking orb appears about fifty feet above him and not even a hundred feet away. The orb rapidly expands and out of that orb, a metallic zeppelin pokes its nose out and bullies its way out of the portal. Yellow’s jaw drops and swears that if that is one of Bowser’s ships there will be Hell to pay.

The zeppelin keeps sliding out of the vortex and when it’s completely out, the vortex disappears. To Yellow, it looks like a steam-punk zeppelin that has to be at least 1000 feet long. The cylinder is covered in metal sheets and the back has four fins, each facing a different direction like a basic compass. In between the fins are turbine engines that gradually push the ship forward and leave a trail of glittering clouds. Underneath the cylinder is the area where the passengers reside, and it has to be at least four stories tall and is almost the length of the whole zeppelin (its around 800 feet in length). Needless to say, the ship is ridiculously big and the only reason that Yellow doesn’t accuse the ship of being one of Bowser’s airships is because there is a giant, eloquent sun painted on the cylinder and the ship itself is painted in a base of white with gold decorations all along its hull.

Yellow is speechless, but that quickly changes when the ship trudges past him and the glittering clouds shut off all the electronics on the seat by merely touching it. The clouds also made Yellow’s skin tingle, but not in a good way, it’s like someone had rubbed sparking thorns over his skin. After the odd sensation passes, Yellow feels himself glide along the air casually, but then he feels himself dipping and falling dangerously fast towards the lake. Yellow swears and hopelessly tries to get the ejection seat to turn on again. But after seeing that he’ll be making a hard landing he closes his eyes and prepares for a world of hurt.

+++++

Back at Sweet Apple Acres…

Applejack jumps the fence to Sweet Apple Acres and runs to Big Mac with a dozen ponies trailing her. She sees Rainbow Dash’s rainbow colored trail flying from the barn and into the Everfree Forest. This puzzles Applejack since Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy volunteered to go into the Everfree Forest to recruit Zecora for the search and left over an hour ago. As for the raging fire, Big Mac’s attempts have been futile. It actually appears to have grown larger. Big Mac orders the ponies to dig a deep ditch around the barn to quarantine the fire and the ponies go to work immediately.

“Big Mac, what was Dash doing here?” asks Applejack, having to raise her voice because of the fires roaring

“Miss Dash came to see if we needed any help, but left Miss Shy in Everfree alone” replies Big Mac irritably

“What! Now why would she do that?”

Big Mac doesn’t answer; instead he goes back to spraying the fire. Applejack takes this as a hint and goes to help the ponies dig the ditch. While they are digging, a shadow falls on the whole farm and everyone looks up and their jaws drop at the sight of an enormous zeppelin gliding over their head. The zeppelin stops and hovers directly over the barn.

“CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE!” blares an intercom from the ship “PLEASE REMAIN CALM! THE EQUESTRIAN GOVERNMENT IS HERE TO ASSIST YOU!”

“What the hay is that?” mutters Applejack

The bottom opens up and a dozen Pegasi gracefully fly down carrying carts filled with earth ponies and dozens unicorns teleport on the ground around the barn. But they aren’t dressed as royal guards; they are wearing dark suits and sunglasses, and looking too stern for their own good. One of the unicorns picks up Big Mac and his hose with telekinetic energy and carries him away from the fire. Big Mac flails in the air as panic sets in from being lifted a dozen or so feet off the ground. When he is lowered on the ground, outside of the ditch-in-making, the unicorn that picked up Big Mac turns to the other unicorns. The unicorns nod in unison, aim their horns at the fire and shoot out a beam from their horns that form a bubble around the fire. The fire gets trapped inside the bubble and a few minutes later, it disappears, leaving only a charred barn in its wake. The unicorns drop the bubble shield and thick smoke pours all over the farm, making the residents cough and hack because of the burning feeling in their lungs, but the new comers remain stoic.

“Very good, mares and gentlecolts” says a stallion with a Manehatten accent

The unicorns reply with a nod and step out of the way to let an earth pony with a brown coat and a curly black mane, with a cutie mark consisting of a cloth wrapped around a knife, pass through to inspect the barn. He’s wearing a suit like the others, but he isn’t wearing any sunglasses so his green eyes aren’t obscured from view.

The earth pony nods approvingly and then looks at the crowd. While he’s scanning the crowd, the ponies brought in the carts dragged by the Pegasi begin demolishing what’s left of the barn and collecting pieces from the crash site while the unicorns and Pegasi scatter to patrol the farm.

“Would Applejack and Big Macintosh step forward please!” booms the stallion

Applejack and Big Mac step forward and the pony smiles at both of them, especially at Applejack. Applejack notices the subtle difference in his smile and takes a step back while scrutinizing him for any sign that he might try to hit on her. The stallion steps forward and puts his hoof to his chest.

“Applejack, Big Macintosh, my name is Agent Hush-Hush. I am with Sector Fifty Two” says Hush-Hush

“Never heard of it” blurts Applejack

“Never will”

Applejack looks at Big Mac and he shrugs since he has no response Hush-Hush’s odd reply. The ponies that Applejack brought are being escorted off of the property by a few unicorns and Pegasi. Hush-Hush paces in circles around Big Mac and Applejack; Applejack guesses he’s trying to be intimidating, but he’s coming off as annoying more than anything else. It also crosses her mind that he’s checking her out since his pacing slows around her.

‘Pervert’ grumbles Applejack’s thoughts

“I understand that this farm has been in your family since the founding of Ponyville” says Hush-Hush casually

“Yes sir, it has” says Applejack as politely as she can

“And Granny Smith and Apple Bloom are visiting your cousin in Appleoosa, correct?”

“They’ll be back by Friday”

Hush-Hush stops pacing when he’s in front of Applejack, smiles and stands uncomfortably close to her. Big Mac glares at Hush-Hush and makes a mental note to buck him in the mouth if he makes a move on his sister.

“No they won’t. They’ll be relocated, just like you and your brother, accordingly” says Hush-Hush

“Now what in tarnation is that supposed to mean!” yells Applejack

“Take a guess, sweet cheeks”

Big Mac steps in between Applejack and Hush-Hush and points at the gate leading out of the farm.

“Get off our property and take your ponies with you” orders Big Mac

Hush-Hush chuckles and says “This is too good” under his breath before looking Big Mac in the eyes with a new found sense of seriousness, and even a hint of a threatening glint.

“I hate to burst your bubble, Big Macintosh, but under Section Fifty One of the Rosewell Protocol, Sweet Apple Acres is now under complete control of the state” says Hush-Hush harshly

Before Big Mac can respond, a Pegasus mare lands next to Hush-Hush and whispers something in his ear that makes the stallion’s sudden sternness become even more hardened.

“Bring them back to Canterlot for treatment, evacuate the zebra, and double the search party” says Hush-Hush

The Pegasus salutes and flies away. Hush-Hush watches the Pegasus fly out of sight before turning his attention to Big Mac and Applejack. Applejack knows something bad had happened and she’s silently praying to Celestia that it wasn’t Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy that need to be taken to Canterlot.

“Pack your gear and get off of our property” says Hush-Hush while waving his hoof at them

“N-now hold on a second,” stammers Applejack “what’s going on? Who needs to be brought for treatment?”

“In a moment it will be both of you if you don’t leave”

“Do not threaten my sister!” says Big Mac aggressively

Big Mac and Hush-Hush butt heads and despite Big Mac being a head and a half taller than Hush-Hush, the agent isn’t fazed. He actually looks amused and slightly pushes up against Big Mac, which Big Mac responds by pushing down on Hush-Hush, this makes the agent bend down slightly. But he’s still smiling.

“Do you really want to risk hurting yourself, or your pretty little sister, Mackie?” asks Hush-Hush tauntingly

Big Mac and Applejack look around and see a dozen ponies made up of unicorns, earth ponies, and Pegasi surround them. The unicorns charge their horns, the Pegasi flap their wings steady and aim themselves at the farmers, and the earth ponies scrape their hooves across the ground like bulls ready to charge. Big Mac looks at Hush-Hush and sighs in defeat and then walks towards his house. Applejack trots after Big Mac, and briefly looks over her shoulder and sees Hush-Hush grinning. When he blows a kiss at her, she scoffs and hurries her pace.

One of the earth pony agents, a stallion, approaches Hush-Hush.

“Sir, what is our next move?” asks the agent

“Now we find whatever is lurking in our woods” says Hush-Hush dramatically

The stallion nods and gallops away while Hush-Hush remains in his spot, watching Big Mac and Applejack walk back to their house. More specifically, he’s focused on Applejack’s backside. He shakes his head and sighs dreamily.

“Ain’t no flank, like a country flank” chuckles Hush-Hush

***

Yellow climbs through the window of the rustic house near the crash site. After swimming out of the lake he had been running and evading those damn ponies nonstop.  It doesn’t help that his speed has been drastically reduced because of his soaking clothes weighing him down, and he had to ditch his gear lest he wanted to drown in a ridiculously clean lake. So he’s soaked, without equipment, is pretty sure his brother is dead, and for all he knows, he’s alone on a planet inhabited by intelligent ponies with anatomies of a television show for little girls. But he admits that the ponies in the suits strike him as the kind of ponies he doesn’t want to attack…directly.

“At least I’m safe in this house” says Yellow to himself

Yellow searches the kitchen for anything that he can use and finds the usual kitchenware.

‘Looks like I’ll be improvising’ thinks Yellow

Yellow snaps the head off of the broom, and then he grabs one of the knives in the drawer and uses duct tape, lots and lots of duct tape, to make a cheap spear. It didn’t take long, probably two minutes at most.

“’Don’t bring weapons’, E Gadd said. ‘They’ll feel threatened if we bring weapons’, E Gadd said” says Yellow quietly and irritably while testing the spear by waving it around

Yellow chuckles madly at the success of his crude weapon, and when he peeks out the window at the enormous zeppelin hovering over the farm he frowns.

“Yeah, because peaceful creatures fly around in those things” scoffs Yellow

Then he notices a pair of regular ponies walking up to the house, looking like they want to murder someone. The smallest, and without a doubt a female, has green eyes, an orange coat with a blonde tail and mane that have red bands tied around them; she’s also wearing a Stetson, which Yellow finds amusing. The other one, a huge stallion who looks like he’s been using steroids, also has green eyes like the mare next to him, a red coat, orange man and tail, and grayish hooves. He also has a yoke around his neck.

“Hmm…that big guy must be her slave” says Yellow quietly while stroking his chin

The mare briefly turns around and looks at another pony, and when she looks back she looks more ticked off than the time Yellow hid his mother’s tampons during her period. Yellow shudders at the memory of the unpleasant punishment that followed afterwards. Yellow quietly runs to the back, but has to duck for cover by pushing himself up against the sink when a couple of unicorns, both mares, in suits trot past the window. One of them stops to look inside, but resumes walking a second later. Yellow breathes a sigh of relief and relaxes, but when he hears the door get kicked open and slammed shut he tenses.

“[Ah don’t get! Since when did Princess Celestia seize land!]” says the mare angrily in a thick Southern accent

‘Oh shit…I’m in a hick’s house’ thinks Yellow dreadfully

Yellow remembers one of the most important rules his father told him before he left him and his mother for that hooker he picked up, and that rule is: Never, *EVER*, break into a hillbilly’s house. Doing so means instant death.

Yellow gulps and tries to sneak out, but curses under his breath when he sees the two unicorns from before making another pass.

“[AJ, whining won’t solve anything]” says a deep, also Southern accent, voice sternly “[We’ll have to go Canterlot to plead our case]”

“[You’ve talked more in the past hour than you did last year, Big Mac]” jokes the mare; she’s obviously trying to keep herself calm

Yellow peeks outside the window on the backdoor and sees the two unicorns are now sitting and looking right at him. They get up and cautiously approach the house, and Yellow grits his teeth and ducks back to find a way out. As he tries to sneak out of the kitchen the floorboard creaks under his foot and he freezes in place and the two ponies in the room stop talking immediately.

“[Wait here]” says the stallion

Yellow cringes and prepares for a fight. When the back door opens behind him and a unicorn steps in with her horn glowing, Yellow, acting out of pure reflex, whirls around and slices her cheek. She yelps and jumps back while discharging a spell. The spell barely misses Yellow and blows apart the cabinets behind him. The red stallion, Big Mac, jumps into the kitchen and charges Yellow with minimal hesitation. Yellow rolls out of the way and tries to stab Big Mac with his crappy spear. His blade slices past Big Mac’s leg and leaves a nasty cut. Big Mac doesn’t seem fazed though, and head-butts Yellow. Yellow flies off of his feet and takes a trio of hits. First, he hits his back on the ceiling, and then he lands on his face on the table, and then one of the legs on the table breaks, causing it to fall over and for Yellow to roll off it and land on his back on the floor. Big Mac kicks the crude spear away and marches towards Yellow as he blows hot air out of his nostrils.

“That hurt” groans Yellow

Yellow stands up, cracks his back and the glares at Big Mac while putting his fists up.

“You have no clue who I am, do you?” sneers Yellow

Big Mac’s hoof scratches across floor in preparation to charge Yellow.

“I am Yellow Dude!”  screams Yellow

Yellow makes a generic war cry and charges Big Mac. Big Mac also charges and Yellow jumps and lands on Big Mac’s face and holds on to his opponent’s ears. It’s like a rodeo in the confines of a kitchen. The red stallion jumps and bucks around, destroying everything he touches, and Yellow holds steadfast and tightens his grip on Big Mac’s ears while his stubby legs awkwardly kicks the stallion. Then, without any warning, Yellow feels a rope wrap around his waist and next thing he knows he’s tugged off of Big Mac and flies into the living room. As his world spins he sees, and feels, the mare bring her hoof down on his chest. Yellow instantly remembers the time he was nearly killed by a Thwomp.

“Damn you, Thwomp!” screams Yellow

He grabs the hoof and twists the mare, AJ, off. The mare bites back a cry and falls on her back. Yellow gives her a quick kick in the side before making a run to no direction in particular, as long as it’s away from the ponies from Hell. But his feet are covered in a green mist and are pulled out from under him. He lands on his face and is dragged across the floor towards the front door by this mist. He frantically grabs anything he can to keep himself inside, from the mare’s tail (which led to him getting a hoof to the face), to the coffee table, to the couch, a lamp, and finally the doorframe.

“[Get that thing!]” barks a stallion with an urban accent

“[I’m trying, Hush-Hush!]” whines a mare

One by one, Yellow’s fingers lose their grip, and when the last of his fingers slip away he’s hurled out of the house like a rock on a sling shot and hits the unicorn that dragged him out in the chest (this unicorn just happens to be the one he cut earlier). They fall to the ground in a tangled mess, and Yellow, not wanting to be caught in another trap, grabs the nearest rock and heaves it against the unicorn’s horn. The horn is almost completely snapped off with the first blow and the unicorn shrieks and thrashes violently on the ground as she sobs from the immense pain she’s in.

Yellow whirls around and throws the rock at another unicorn’s eye. She was too slow to dodge it or stop it, so the rock hits her directly in the eye and, like her partner, she collapses and screams painfully while trying to stop the bleeding with her hoof. Yellow looks at a brown stallion, he’s guessing it’s Hush-Hush, and flips him off before bolting away. Yellow laughs and looks over his shoulder and sees Hush-Hush is doing nothing but smiling.

“What the Hell?” says Yellow to himself

Then he’s blindsided by Big Mac. The oversized stallion rams Yellow in the side, causing him to go airborne and crash into an apple tree. Some of the leaves and apples are shaken loose and fall on Yellow’s head.  After the stars clear from his vision, he ignores the sharp pain that has consumed his entire body and picks up one of the apples that hit him the head and holds it like a weapon.

“I’ve fought more terrifying things than you” says Yellow boldly

Yellow screams and charges Big Mac with his apple, but before he can do anything, a rope goes around his arm and tugs him against the tree. As Yellow struggles to free himself, AJ runs laps around the tree and within a matter of seconds, Yellow is tied to the tree.

***

Applejack watches the yellow headed mushroom creature scream in its tongue and violently try to free itself (one of its methods includes biting at her rope). She gingerly rubs her hoof that the thing twisted, she’s sure that it’s sprained, but it’s nothing bed rest can’t handle. But when she sees the cut on Big Mac’s leg she cringes and tries to inspect it, but Big Mac pulls away.

“Big Mac, stop bein’ stubborn and let me see” says Applejack in a mix of annoyance and concern

“Nnope” says Big Mac

Hush-Hush applauds Big Mac and Applejack’s performance by stomping on the ground. After he’s done applauding he approaches the two farmers with a proud smile on his face.

“Well done, well done!” laughs Hush-Hush “You two should apply for Sector Fifty Two sometime. We can use ponies like you”

Applejack and Big Mac turn around and watch Hush-Hush walk towards them. Applejack has no reply to Hush-Hush’s statement, but she is worried about the two injured unicorns that are being evacuated to the zeppelin by Pegasi wearing nurse outfits.

“Are they going t’ be alright?” asks Applejack as she nods towards the injured unicorns

Hush-Hush looks at the unicorns and smiles reassuringly.

“They’ll be fine” says Hush-Hush

Hush-Hush looks at Applejack and Big Mac again.

“I’ll be sure to tell Celestia of your heroism,” continues Hush-Hush “but this incident will have to remain a secret”

“Why?” asks Applejack

“Ponies have a right to know what is going on” says Big Mac after stomping his hoof “Especially if there is an alien invasion of some kind”

“This is national security matters. Understand?”

“Nnope”

Hush-Hush chuckles and strokes the soil while trying to think of a reply.

“[This was a cheap victory and you know it!]” says the alien angrily

All three ponies look at him for a grand total of three seconds before looking at each other.

“Anyway,” says Hush-Hush grimly “the concept is quiet simple. This matter pertains to the safety of millions of ponies and non-ponies alike. Refusing to comply will lead to, oh how should I say this, harsh consequences”

“I don’t like the tone yer using” says Applejack as she narrows her eyes

“Oh, Miss Element of Honesty, I know it will be extremely difficult for you to keep your mouth shut”

Hush-Hush stands snout to snout with her, but she remains steadfast and becomes even more tense.

“But think of it like this,” continues Hush-Hush in a hostile whisper “where there is action, there is reaction. One word about what happened here and there is no telling how extensive – or extreme- our damage control will be”

Applejack’s ears droop and her steadfast demeanor melts into that off horror and worry. Hush-Hush smiles proudly at defeating Applejack with mere words and mockingly pats her on the cheek, which makes Big Mac take a threatening step forward.

“Take care, cutie” finishes Hush-Hush

“[Ooh, kinky]” says the alien

Hush-Hush rolls his eyes, he has no clue what the alien said, but judging by the tone it wasn’t appropriate. He turns around and orders a group of unicorns to take the alien away and he gives overly-detailed instructions on how to subdue the already subdued alien and how to properly transport it to a prison cart being carried by a pair of Pegasi. His instructions are met with grumbles and groans and uttered swear words. When the mushroom alien is locked away and carried towards the zeppelin Applejack and Big Mac head back to their house to pack up.

+++++

At Canterlot…

Crook and Hawker are sitting in a dingy, poorly lit room covered in slick goo of unknown origins. The beds are poorly made of hay, but thankfully they are off the ground, and the toilet is a hole that leads to a giant cesspool; it has a lid over it that does a fantastic job of keeping out the stench, though.

Crook sighs and brushes his hoof against the floor.

“This sucks” moans Crook

“Flim and Flam are not going to be happy about this” says Hawker disappointingly

“About us getting arrested or about us willing to talk for less time?”

“Both. But mostly about the talking thing”

“We’ll just give them outdated information and everything will be okay, right?”

“Do that, and the deal is voided” says Shining Armor

Both ponies jump to their feet and see Shining Armor glaring at them with two Royal Guard unicorns at his side. Crook runs up to the bars and goes in the praying position.

“Please, sir, we-I won’t give you outdated information! I can’t go back to Sing Song” begs Crook

Hawker slides next to Crook and goes into the same position.

“We were only joking about giving false information. Honest” says Hawker desperately

Shining Armor kneels down so that he is at their eye level; he’s also careful not to get his uniform or coat dirty.

“Now why should I trust you? I gave you the option to ease your punishment, but you plot behind my back to give me false information” says Shining Armor

“We-we were-we were joking” stutters Hawker

“Y-you can trust us” says Crook while trying to smile reassuringly

Shining Armor stands up and stares down at the two criminals with an acidic scowl.

“We’ll see” says Shining Armor ominously

Shining Armor leaves without another word and both colts watch Shining Armor disappear from view. When they hear the dungeon door slam shut they sulk in their spots, fearing that they just blew their only chances to get off easy.

***

Shining Armor marches in his extravagant, polished office and sits at his oak desk. He takes a moment to look at the stained glass windows that tell the tales of the group of ponies known as the “Mane 6”. He’s proud that his sister is part of that special group, and the leader no doubt, but he’s also slightly jealous. She seems to be having all the fun and whenever she writes to him its always something cute that makes him smile. Like Rainbow Dash practicing her Sonic Rainboom and crashing into Soarin, or Pinkie Pie starting her delivery business (which is freaky fast and reliable), or, his personal favorite, Fluttershy getting drunk and hitting on Big Mac. He doesn’t know Big Mac personally (he just knows he’s Applejack’s brother), but when he met Fluttershy she came off as the timid type that would freak out at the sight of her own shadow. But while his sister writes him all these good, heartwarming stories, he has nothing to tell her but gloom and doom stories about how things have spun out of control in Canterlot.  These are things his sister does not need to read. So he only writes about how things are between him and Cadence , which are far and few in between now, due to the chaos that has taken over the city.

Shining Armor sighs glumly and pulls out a folder and reads its contents. It is about the notorious Flim Flam Brothers. Originally businesscolts in the market for apple juice, but after a mishap at Sweet Apple Acres and a series of unfortunate events their little company became bankrupt and they went on the road to crime. The problem is that he knows full well that the Flim Flam Brothers are criminal moguls, but they are good at covering their tracks and the ponies that are captured are either too scared to talk, or too loyal to give up anything useful…or their information is just plain horrible.

Shining Armor closes the folder and looks at a photo of him, Twilight, and their parents sitting outside at a picnic. Then his eyes move to another photo of him, Cadence, and Twilight and her friends at his wedding. He smiles at how much fun he had at the wedding, despite its almost unimaginably horrible outcome.

“Knock-knock” says the voice of the love of his life

Shining Armor looks up and watches in loving wonder as Princess Cadence walks towards him with that angelic sway.

“Hello beautiful” says Shining Armor with a weary smile

“You’ve been working nonstop for almost two days. You need to rest. C’mon, let’s grab some lunch” says Cadence

Cadence wraps her wing around Shining Armor and gently removes him from his seat. Shining Armor follows his wife towards the exit of his office, but his mind subconsciously goes back to his work. He keeps thinking about the surge of crime and corruption, and this Mare-Do-Well character is not making his job any easier.

“We don’t need vigilantes” grumbles Shining Armor

Cadence stops walking and rests her neck on top of Shining Armor.

“Honey, please stop thinking about work for five minutes” whispers Cadence into Shining Armor’s ear

His ear flicks and he looks at Cadence sullenly.

“I’m sorry, Cadence, but I just can’t forget about my job” says Shining Armor in a tone he quickly regrets

A pained look crosses Cadence’s face, but it’s quickly replaced with pity. She understands that her husband is under a lot of stress and sees that he regrets using that tone.

“I’m sorry, Cadence” says Shining Armor sincerely

Shining Armor pulls away from Cadence and walks towards the stained glass. Despite the decorative colors on the window, he can faintly make out the city beyond the glass. His city. His home. His personal Heaven transformed into Hell in just a few years. Shining Armor also sees his reflection. His usual well-kept mane is now halfheartedly taken care of and he has thick bags under his eyes, and his shoulders are now drooped, not tall and proud. Then he notices Cadence looking at him sympathetically and he can’t stand to see her seeing him like this, but he can’t stop himself. He looks down and lightly paws at the marble floor.

“Do you believe in me?” asks Shining Armor

“What do you mean?” asks Cadence with a rightfully concerned tone

“Do you think I can bring this city back?”

Cadence walks to Shining Armor and gently rubs his back with her hoof while a supportive smile appears. Shining Armor looks into her eyes and sees genuine love and concern, and the thing he wants the most at this moment: belief.

“Of course I do” says Cadence softly

Then her supportive smile turns into a full grin that stretches across her face.

“I believe in Shining Armor” says Cadence theatrically as she puts her hoof to her chest

Shining Armor chuckles and brings his fore hooves around Cadence’s neck for a hug.

“That sounds like a cheesy political slogan” chuckles Shining Armor into his wife’s colorful mane

“I think it sounds  kinda cool” says Cadence lightheartedly

The two exchange a soft laugh and pull away from each other.

“So are you going to stop thinking about work for me?” asks Cadence

“Only for you” replies Shining Armor as he magically opens the door “So, what did you want for lunch?”

+++++

Back at E Gadd’s House…

Mario frantically pounds on E Gadd’s door, but gets no response. Wario and Waluigi are standing behind Mario, waiting impatiently for E Gadd to open the door. Wario has his arms folded across his chest and tapping his foot against the pavement impatiently while Waluigi is inspecting his fingernails like a snob from Peach’s Castle.

A minute of knocking later, Mario sighs and looks at Wario.

“He’s not answering” says Mario dishearteningly

“Then there is only one thing left to do” says Wario while cracking his knuckles “Waluigi, use your Kick of Doom and Gloom”

Waluigi stops inspecting his finger nails and flashes a toothy smile and a thumbs-up at Wario.

“You got it!” says Waluigi excitedly

“You might want to step back” says Wario to Mario

“Why?” asks Mario

“Just trust me”

Waluigi cracks his neck, his knuckles, stretches out his legs, and then shakes himself like a dog. And not even a second after his charades end, he gets deathly serious and his eyes lock on E Gadd’s door.

“Show time” says Waluigi

Waluigi then screams hysterically and unintelligibly while running at full speed. Mario jumps out of the way and watches Waluigi jump in the air and kick E Gadd’s door. But the door doesn’t budge and Waluigi’s leg crumples like a straw and his face slams against the door. Waluigi falls to the ground completely motionless, his leg is bent and twisted in ways that scream compounded bones and his nose is also flattened across his face. Wario and Mario stare, jaws agape, at Waluigi’s bleeding, mangled figure. Wario, jaw still open, slowly looks at Mario, and Mario closes his mouth and looks at Wario.

“I’ll call Kamek” says Wario

Waluigi gurgles while Mario leans down to check on him. When Wario touches Waluigi, Waluigi suddenly shoots up in the sitting position and screams in agony at the top of his lungs.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Mario screams and jumps back and Wario also screams and drops his phone. Waluigi, still screaming, looks at Mario and Wario. Mario stops screaming, but Wario keeps going. While both of the drooling troll clones of the Mario Brothers scream, Mario watches them with quickly diminishing patience. Eventually both of their faces turn blue and they collapse. Mario lightly taps Waluigi’s head with his foot. No response. He shrugs and moves to Wario and kicks him in the side. No response.  Mario sighs, picks up Wario’s phone and finds Kamek on speed dial. After dialing for Kamek he waits patiently for Kamek to pick up his end, while carefully stepping around the pool of blood oozing out of Waluigi’s destroyed leg.

“Hey Wario, did you capture Mario yet so we can use him to capture Rex?” asks Kamek

“Hey Kamek, this is Mario, Wario and Waluigi managed to scream themselves unconscious, so if you want to pick them up I’m at E Gadd’s house” says Mario casually

There is a moment of awkward silence.

“Kamek, are you still there?”

“…Give me a minute, I’m on my way”