World War P

I stick my hands in my pockets and think about the rumors going around. I first heard it 2nd hand from some guy on Xbox live. Something about a national park being shut down because campers were disappearing and sights of rabid animals were seen at night. Of course I didn't believe him until I heard someone else tell me that a man was seen groaning and moaning into his house on video and soon screaming was heard from his house. Looked up the video, showed it to my friend, Eric, and promptly decided I had enough problems. Now that this new vaccine was coming out I'm not quite so sure. I decided to ask my friends opinion. "So what do you think of the zombie apocalypse?"

"I doubt it's a zombie apocalypse. *sigh* It's probably just another mutated flu strain again... I'm afraid that zombies are too cool for the world. Or the fountain of youth." He punctuates it with his signature eye rolls.

Of course he does have a point, today's world is a stupid unexciting place. "Yup, sounds about right." I kick a stone down the street. "Stupid government." It keeps nagging my mind though. "So, what if it is?"

"We both steal a boat, supplies and find a desert island?" Ah, this sounds like a cliche zombie movie, I like those endings. Women are such emotional waterfalls in times of crisis.

"Stick 'find some hot chicks' before stealing a boat."

"No, that give us more chances to get infected. Beside, being alone with women on a desert island? I'm afraid it wouldn't be as fun as you think." Nope, pretty sure it'll be fun.

"Does, 'saving the species' mean anything to you?"

"You would need at least fifty persons to have a proper genetic pool to do that."

Wow, nerd. "Oh fine, so the human race is going to die."

"Well, we could try to use plants to fight off the zombies?" He smiles at his stupid pun.

Okay so I'm laughing inside a little bit. "Nice reference but no go."

I looked up at the sky and then back down at the ground. When in doubt, state the obvious, that always works right? "So the school we're going to is right around the corner."

He sighs, success I have started a conversation with the only person on the planet who will tolerate me. "I hate syringes..." Well… can't say that's a good conversation since it's stupid to hate syringes.

"Well too bad, Unless you want to get left out and die at one hundred you're going to have to." Okay, I have to. "Unless the zombies get us first! Muhahahahahaha."

"What if the vaccine is the virus?" Wow… that's deep… BUT it's also irrelevant!

"So? let's go!" The doors are in sight now, but I can't help but ponder his suggestion. "Besides, there's no chance of that happening." I’d like to say that that was for him, but I find reassurance as well.

I turn to face him. "Oh well..." I see his face suddenly focus on something. "Hey Shaun, is that normal?" I turn my head as he point at a big colorful blur growing strangely closer.

It might be my glasses, though they seem clear to me. Adjusting them the picture doesn't change. "It looks like rainbow puke."

Somebody stops walking behind us, his footsteps that I had been monitoring suddenly ceasing to make sound. The blob is increasing in size and decreasing in distance. Eric's eyes are better than mine so he'll probably see what it is first. "Wait, are those... cartoon horses?

Soon my eyes also focus in on the blob and make out the four legged creatures. "Um… they look like…" he's right, they look like little horses, except dunked in the rainbow factory. "Yeah," wait a sec, "And they are running… at… us. OH FUCK!" Those little freaks whatever they are, are making a beeline for me and Eric. Don't panic, just, RUN!

Turning around I push the stranger out of the way to make room for my friend. "Eric run!" I didn't really mean to be so harsh but thankfully the stranger only stumbles a bit then easily keeps pace beside me. My friend Eric appears beside me, also keeping pace. "Could you... pinch me?"

That seems really stupid… "Why?"

"Just do it!"

He's kidding right? "I think I'm a bit busy at the moment."

"Anything that cause pain!" Alright you masochist, take this. I bring my arm around and slap the back of his head, warning a surprised grunt from him. That move is usually used when someone does something stupid, I'm pretty sure this counts.

"Happy?"

"Ow." His comment meant nothing to me. The fact he then looked behind him hopefully only caused me to feel that my actions were valid. His gaze then flips back frontwards with a look of panic. "Not a dream, not a dream, it's not a dream!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? "NO SHIT!" This is real bro! Get with the program!

"Just keep running!"

Who? "Hey who's this guy?" I look over at the new guy I had shoved out of the way, I hope he harbors no negative feelings.

"Not important right now." He says without turning to look at me.

“Well if we're going to die together I prefer to know who I can trust.” Alright the die together part was a bit on the too much side but hey, it's the zombie apocalypse I can say whatever shit I want.

Being the out of shape person I don't know he is, he's already huffing at the brisk quarter mile run we've run. “Whoever's not pony at the moment would probably be your best bet.” Hmm... sensible.

I look at him in the face, the seriousness of the matter conveyed through a single glance. “Point taken”

The rest of the world looks pretty bleak from where we're running. I hear plenty of screams as tons of people are... well... hugged down in various points in my peripheral vision. Cars were crashing as flying ponies landed on top of them and broke in. we continued running and were joined by others who were either left behind when they tripped, or broke off to run in a different direction. So far it looks like it's the rest of our lives as a quadruped zombies, or death if we manage to escape these rabid rainbow ponies. Hey, what the hell is the new guy looking at? I follow his eyes to a large rusty looking bridge. There is about a 1000 car pileup on the bridge so I can see why it interests him.

Turning to look back I see that the little ponies have broken off until there are about twenty small fillies. I can tell because they have the soft faces and the long manes, plus those eyes... snap out of it! You're slowing down! “Well, horses have a lot of endurance.” there was a silence that notified me that they understood what I meant. “So we're boned if we keep running.”

“Get to that bridge!” Okay unofficial leader.

“Um okay Bill.” I wonder if he'll get the reference... or at least it's a partial reference. Huh, I wonder if I even get that. I wonder if one of us will have to stay behind and get fucked while the other three, I mean two, survive.

I look over at my lifelong friend and see that he is running out of steam as well. Ha, running, get it cause, no? Well fuck you too brain. “I wonder... where they ... come from.” Hmm let's see...

“It's the zombies! If we can get to my house I have a gun.”

“I fail to see... how you make a link... between horses and zombies...”

The bridge is more blocked than I initially speculated. Cars are piled up two and in some places, three high. Ponies are everywhere and also behind us, though they seem delayed in their chase by others who were not as quick, or as buff I might add.

“Uh, I don't think we'll be able to go get that gun of yours...” Hey, don't keep a gun from a man, he'll go through hell... or ponies, to get it. I think.

“Woo hoo… what now genius.” Sarcasm, always included.

“We could jump.”

“Sounds like a STUPID plan.” Oh my gosh, I can't believe I said that... no wait, yes I can. I’m usually not this harsh but jumping off a bridge doesn't seem like fun.

I look over at the stranger and he just stares back at me, serious all the way. Maybe it was fate that the three of us would survive together. I wonder if we'll have to take turns on the consoles, if we can find them. “It's either jump, or get trampled by a pack of ponies.” The former is more to my liking but the latter sounds like I’ll live. Albeit as a zombie pony, but live. Fuck that choice though.

“They are almost here!”

I think I’ve made up my mind... actually I’m not sure oh fuck it. “I choose death!” I grabbed Eric's arm to jolt him from the ponies and to the water before letting go so I don't hit him against anything. Taking a look down for a split second I realize that this is a really high bridge, oh well. “CANNONBALL!”

As I fall I see our new friend hit the water a second before I do. As I hit the water, the pain was immediately registered then dulled by the freezing water. Looking back up I see ponies everywhere. There's some flying in the sky, some looking at us from over the bridge, and some on shore. For some reason they don't want to enter the river, well that's great for us except that we are now freezing to death in the way past standing depth. My body immediately starts to shiver with the cold though I’m starting to take on hypothermia because I’m so cold. Turning my head skyward I watch as Eric sticks his head out, bleeding, to look down on us. “What the hell was th-” I watched his head disappear and reappear as a filly jumped on it and started licking the wound on his forehead.

“ERIC!” NO! I have to save him, there's got to be a way, he's my best friend! I can't leave him to die!

“Hurry up!” The newcomers voice barely registers.

My body is now on autopilot as I make a beeline for the shoreline. “No! Fuck!” I strain to hear the screams of a dying man but all I hear is laughing, laughter at the pain of others! I'll kill them, I'll kill them ALL!

I feel a pull on the back of my shirt and it tried to pull me away from shore. That annoyance can't pull me away though, I will save him. “Your friend's a lost-cause!” What was that... oh the newcomer, he's trying to-

My brain finally reboots and I realize he's right, I hate it though! He's been my best friend and now I have to abandon him. My brain can only come up with one word in my desperation. “Fuck!”

I realize that hadn't seem the filly bite, just lick, licking doesn't count, right? “You idiot I didn't see any biting! They didn't bite him!”

“We can't get close without risking it ourselves”

He speaks sense, calm myself. I can't endanger our survival. If it was just me I’d willingly sacrifice myself to try and save my friend, he'd do so for me, but even I’m not that selfish to leave someone else to die for the exceptionally slim chance that I might save my friend. Sighing I swam downstream to start my journey. “My house is this way…”

We swam for a good 20 minutes before the river curved to the right and away from my neighborhood. I could see the spot where I used to show Eric how to catch little minnows and crawdads, and he showed me how to get wet trying. A chuckle tries to escape but I force it down, crawling out of the water to feel the cold in order to cover up the happy memory with my misery.

I hear the my new companion drag himself out of the water as well. As the dripping ceased I spun around, expecting to be attacked by a mob of the zombie ponies. All my eyes perceive though is an exhausted man breathing heavily on his back. I walk over and sit next to him, waiting for him to catch his breath and heat up. I’m perfectly fine, I think. No, my brain still recognizes cold and my wet clothes. We aren't going to last long if they continue dripping, we'll have to avoid streets as much as possible.

Doing some mental calculations I weave myself mentally through the roads and streets, taking all available shortcuts. “I think I'm a mile away, but given that we're going to need to detour it could be as much as 3 or 4 miles.” To this he just pulls himself off the ground and looks at me indifferently. He's obviously exhausted. I bet I am as well, the adrenaline from seeing my friend taken from me being the only thing that stops me from joining him on the ground.

It takes a moment to register, but I still don't know this guy's name. How could I forget such an important detail? We can't just keep calling each other 'you' or 'guy' if we're going to survive. I think I’d rather know his name first though. If he speaks then he trusts me, albeit not much. “So… what's your name?”

“I'm Sam.”

“Shaun, my friend was Eric.”

“I see...”

“Come on we have to get somewhere safe.”

“You said your house was pretty close, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We might as well head there, my house is nowhere near here.”

“It's not the most fortified structure but a gun would be useful.” With that I turn and crawl up the bank and watch ponies trot around town. There are what looks like, couples, groups of friends, and even a few families. I take this moment to analyze what exactly these things are.

They walk on four legs, that much is certain. I can see that they dont stand very tall, maybe around my waist if the pony is one of the tall ones. They all also seemed to be of different colors shades shapes and sizes. Some had wings on their backs while others had horns and still others didn't have either. Their manes were of also bright colors, nothing like a regular horse or pony. What really freaked me out were the eyes. The eyes took up most of the head, bigger than my own eyeball by double.

All in all it looked like they had jumped straight out of a cartoon show and into the world. It almost looked peaceful, until a car came careening down the road, losing control before crashing into a tree. A man falls out, trying to crawl away and Immediately I watch in horror as the nearest couple, a male pony and a female pony pounce on him accompanied by a little filly. “Another one bites the dust...” The fact that I said that in the same way you hear it in the song completely hit me before I could stop myself. Sighing I decide not to condemn myself, there's no reason, it was just a comment. After scanning the far away parts I shift focus to the alleys and backyards. While the streets were containment worthy, the immediately vicinity was clear, no ponies whatsoever.

“It looks pretty clear, though the streets are covered.”

Apparently Sam had regained enough strength and stealthily jumped up the bank and peered around the corner of an alleyway. “Nothing this way.”

Good, now all we have to do is get to my house without being seen. I’ve played metal gear solid and splinter cell religiously, I have this covered.

Climbing up a fence I looked for dogs or other things that might give our presence away. Seeing nothing I nodded to Sam and crawled over the rest of it. He followed suit and soon we were hopping fences in tandem, switching off taking the lead, checking for audio land mines. I climbed the next fence hurriedly, completely forgetting to check for obstacles.

I heard a very audible very angry growl coming from the ground below me. If this dog started barking I was screwed. I looked down slowly to see a pitbull the size of a small retriever glaring up at me. I swear it's licking its lips in anticipation of eating me. “Crap... Pitbull, I don't think I can get out of hurting it to shut it up.”

I looked over at my new survival buddy, wondering what he might say to this statement. “Can you not climb back up? It's probably just territorial.”

“I could, crap, now I remember this accursed thing. This dog belongs to the Wilsons. They are nice people but their dog is Satan incarnate. Me and my buddies lost a football in this backyard one time, the dog then proceeded to wait for me to look over the fence, glare, and then pop it. I think he hates me.”

I hear him sigh in resignation. “Hold on let me try.” I watched as he climbed up next to me and looked down at the demon dog. “Hey buddy...” I hear him call to the dog, which is stupid.

The dog shifted its glance and growled a bit louder. “Did I mention the wilsons were older and probably, after getting zombi-ponified moved back into their house?”

“That would probably have been excellent information.” Sorry, I have terrible memory sometimes.

I watched in surprise as he shifted his weight slightly. Using gravity he fell onto the dog's face, silencing him. Seeing my chance I toppled over onto its back, effectively pinning it. Sam grabbed its muzzle and heaved it up, grunting at the sheer weight of the dog. “Go over the next fence and be prepared to help me up.” Ah crap, the rest of this trip is going to suck balls isn't it?

Quickly hopping up the fence I balance myself a bit unsteadily on the tip, not bothering to check for other ponies. I turned and faced Sam who, with inhuman strength, threw the dog five or six feet and sprinted towards the fence. The dog, unfortunately, was made of stronger stuff than other dogs and righted itself. I could see the gears turning as I grabbed Sam's hand and heaved him up. After a minute it decided that it's prey was not worth the effort and went back into its dog house. I watched for a moment, then was rewarded by the little bastard bringing out a flat slobber covered football, MY FOOTBALL! “I'll kill the little son of a bitch one day...” I whisper.

“Let's focus on getting to your house first, then we can go around killing all the Pitbulls we see.” Good plan.

I turn around and freeze as a filly pony, probably a former kid, stares at us in shock. “What should we do?” I whisper to him. We can't exactly start ninja running on top of the fence, and I’m not liable to take my chances with Bruno the pitbull.

Before he can answer the solution pops into my head. “Hold up I have an idea. You know how it looks like they only have to touch skin in order to change? I looked and it seemed like when people went down the ponies mostly avoided any clothing.”

He stared at me. “Willing to bet your life on that?” Hell yes! It's this or going out like a coward. The filly looks like she's regaining her composure, if she calls out for help we are royally fucked.

I quickly hop down and sprint, covering the distance between us in a heartbeat. Adrenaline rushed through me as I slid on my right foot, using my forward momentum to swing my left in an arc towards the fillies face. Too late I realize that I had put way too much force into the kick. I watched in slow motion as her face caved in and her hooves left the ground. I didn't care about the filly but I knew what was coming next. I had to warn Sam! “RUN!” The word seemed to come out of my mouth like sludge as my adrenaline rush seemed to slow everything down to my naked eye.

Sam jumped down right as the world sped up again. The filly flew and hit the fence with a sickening crunch, splintering wood. I took off for the opposite fence, a footstep in front of Sam, who had also realized what my rash move had done. We had just made the base of the fence when I head a door opening, followed quickly by a gasp, then a shriek. “HUMANS!”

Me and Sam leaped in tandem, clearing the smaller fence with much more ease than that of the higher ones. “These next people have no fence!” I yelled to him over the wind and the other ponies yelling. “Turn right! Follow my lead!” I waited for him to nod before turning sharply to the right, almost losing my footing.

Me and Eric had known the owners of this house for a long time. They were an older couple who had much more entertaining stories than you would normally suspect from a couple of people in their eighties. They had felt no need to fence in their backyard. Because of this me and eric had paved a footpath through the small forest leading from our small house to theirs. I started to tear up at the idea of the old couple getting run down. I rubbed my eyes quickly as I remembered Eric’s face, full of fear. It was not as I wish. If anything, I was hoping we would both die in some kind of awesome feat, smiling at our own stupidity.

I think Sam could tell I was in mental struggle as he simply followed me with a sympathetic look.

As we progressed into the forest the voices of the ponies grew more distant. At a brisk walk the trail was a decent thirty minutes. At the pace we are going it'll probably take no more than 10.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, we arrived at my backyard. Instead of getting a high wooden fence like other neighbors, me and Eric had opted for a short metal one with sharp prongs on the top. It allowed him to look over the landscape, which he always liked to do, he was much more of an outdoors-man than me.

Sadness turned to anger as I quickly placed the blame for all my misfortune on our new oppressors. I easily hopped the fence in a place that we had intentionally left lower to avoid having to pay for a door in the gate. Picking off my keys from one of my belt loops I quietly slid it into the lock.

Opening the door I take a quick peek to see if any of those fucking equines had invaded my home. Seeing none and hearing no rush to the door I open it all the way, gesturing for Sam to follow. “All clear, get in and I'll get the gun out of my bedroom, try to stay unnoticed.”

I watch him come inside and close the door then go inspect the house. Maybe he'll find something useful, or maybe he majored in chemistry and he can make some home made bombs, I don't know. All I’m focused on is getting my gun out from under my bed. I had always suspected that a burglar or someone else who would wish me or Eric harm would eventually find my ass and try to hurt me, so I kept a large rifle under my bed, despite Eric's wishes, and had it fully loaded duct taped magazines and kept in mint condition. Apparently my hard work and dedication would pay off in the end because now, I’m going to need this thing for the rest of my miserable life.

I relieved my weapon from it's hiding place and crept back downstairs to find Sam. “Sam where are you?”

I hear a shushing sound to my right and the living room and find my compatriot backing slowly into the hallway again holding a finger to his lips as if to ensure that he wouldn't create any noise himself. If he had found a pony then he'd have been attacked, so why was he being so quiet? “What?” He motions to the living room and I grip my gun tighter. One of those fuck bags was in my living room, probably sleeping, this one will be for Eric you zombie pony scumbags!

I lifted my gun up to aim and crept into the living room. Seeing the little pony filly on the couch I immediately aim for the head and squeeze on the trigger.