Carol of the Scratch

You ever think about reading the end of a story first? I have. It'd probably save a lot of time. I mean, if you know how it ends, you can be sure you actually like it. Makes sense to me, I don't know about you. Why read through hundreds of pages of perfunctory dialogue and needless descriptions when you could just know if the hero slew the dragon or not? Then again, the obvious specter to that: if you know how it ends, why bother caring?

Some would call that a catch twenty-two. I have no idea if it is or is not a catch twenty-two, it just sort of feels like that sort of situation where you would call out a catch twenty-two. Or maybe I just want you to keep reading catch twenty-two so it sticks in your mind. Who's to say? Who's to say any of these matters beyond confusing you and laying out tricks? I would be the one to say, in that case. And I say "it'll all make sense in the end". But who's to say that me saying that even matters.

What does matter is that we're at the next chapter of our little story. Where our heroine of the evening and resident humbug finds herself cozying up into bed, anticipating every bit of holiday cheer that awaits her in the morning. What's that...? You don't think she's a humbug....? You think I'm telling the wrong story....? Well why don't you just read the book next time instead of criticizing every little thing I tell you?

But you raise a very good point, and I want you to hold that question with you. Where does warmth come from? The hearth, or the home?

The city at night was something to behold. Most so when it was dressed in the embrace of winter. Be it the snow dusted over roof and street alike in subtle dunes that shifted with each gust, or the myriad colors of draping lights fixed from one street post to the next. As the last remaining ponies finished their bustling through the streets, the serene quiet gradually consumed the night; leaving only the quiet glow of holiday fixtures mingling against the soft mounds of snow. A tranquil vista to look out over from the warmth of one's home before drifting to slumber.

It was that vista that Vinyl looked out over as she nestled herself into her bed. While her heart yearned to share a bed with her charming lover down the hall, she was reminded that they both needed to be fresh for the day ahead. And when they were together, Vinyl knew all too well they weren't restful. A shame, but it just meant the after holiday fun would be that much more vigorous.

She shook the lingering thoughts off and took a wandering glance to her glasses resting on her nightstand. The last thing she needed was to get her own engine started so late in the evening. Her legs squirmed against the ruffled covers of her mattress—cluttered clump of a mess it was—as she considered the snow drifting outside the window. Little flakes danced from top to bottom, drifting out of sight and out of mind one after the other. A rhythmic and steady display that set her mind at ease with each passing crystal of winter.

Tomorrow they had breakfast planned at Lyra's. Dear sweet Lyra who Vinyl would have to choke the hours away with. But for Octavia, anything was worth it. At least for a bit. So long as the unbearable claptrap didn't actually try to talk to her. A comfortable distance was the key to a healthy holiday. Probably.

After that, it was off to see the most darling dear that was Redheart to share in the joy of opening gifts. The idea of blowing two of the women she loved more than anything away with the sheer brilliance of the gifts she got them nearly set Vinyl to kick out of her bed. But, the point of listing details was to help her relax and calm. Ease her to sleep; not the opposite.

Topping that all off, likely a flight of parties across town. Quick hellos, cheery bows, tastings of every hors d'oeuvre at each hearth they found themselves at; all to at least say they made a showing. The mayor always had a general assembly for anyone to invite themselves, and the local library was not much different. While those weren't exactly the parties Vinyl delved into, Octavia wouldn't miss them for the world. Why? Who was to say. Maybe she just liked showing the sexy little minx she had on her arm wherever she could. Or maybe that was the other way around.

The rambling thoughts did their trick and gradually eyes grew labored. With each passing flake, Vinyl felt herself pulled subtly more-and-more into the gentle embrace of sleep. Tomorrow would be another exciting carousel of holiday cheer. From Christmas, to Hearth's Warming, and all else between. So much to do, and so much to see; and it was all waiting after one last sleep...

At the sound of first tone,

A visitor will come and the pact shall be known...

Soon to follow at the second tic,

That which-was shall unravel all too quick...

All too soon will follow a resounding tock,

With it the now in a clattering knock...

Before the end with a final wake,

What is to be will come for its final take...

Three specters and host shall all come to serve,

For sanctity of the spirit, and holiday preserve...

Sleep came easy to Vinyl, but something about it felt off. Her eyes were firmly shut, her minds stilled in the quiet of the night, and her heart was soothed with the sense that you only got when you were warmly nuzzling into a warm pillow in the winter. Everything within her said 'you're asleep', but she felt as wide awake as she would at noon. Her eyes opened to welcome the vision of the frosted window she had watched before drifting off, but to her surprise nothing close to that welcomed her.

The room around her wasn't wholly unfamiliar, but it definitely wasn't her bedroom. Not nearly enough half-crushed cups of raman lingering around or at all, and the musk cultivated from clothes left to heap on the floor for a few weeks wasn't assaulting her. In fact, the room was something out of Octavia's idea of an ideal living room. Wall to wall annals of books, a windowed wall that looked out over the entire slumbering city below, and a crackling fire tucked within a bricked fireplace. Said fireplace serving as the only light in this space she found herself in.

Vinyl furrowed her brow as she contemplated the situation. The space was weird, and all the weirder with her bed seemingly placed smack-dab in the middle of it. She moved to pinch herself to judge if this was maybe just a very vivid dream, but the crackle of the fire splintering one of the logs caught her and she looked closer at the fire pit; as if something called her to do so.

"Vinyl Scratch..." Vinyl remained lounged in her bed as a voice called out to her. Beside the crackling din of the fireplace, a lithe form draped herself against its frame. At once, Vinyl recalled where she was, and who it was that beckoned to her. Though the revelation did not stir her any more from her bed, and she simply allowed the woman to speak. "On this night—out of all the men and women who could have found their way here—you find yourself in a most auspicious predicament."

"Huh..." the musician spoke up, shifting herself to sit along the edge of her bed, "Usually when I have wet dreams, they aren't this vivid."

The fires cracked sharp and splintered at the wood, releasing a sound that almost mimicked a series of cackling laughs as Twilight Sparkle near stumbled completely from her 'sultry' stature. The librarian quickly poised herself again and forced out a sharp cough, doing her best to maintain some manner of mystique. "This is no mere dream, Vinyl Scratch—"

"Yeah, not things start getting real hot and heavy," Vinyl interjected amidst her gradual efforts to strip her undergarments—an easy task given she evidently slept with only those on.

"Will you stop?" Twilight clicked sharply, though the squeak that accompanied it had dwindled away any remaining mystique she had. "I am trying to do this whole thing, and it would go a lot smoother if you just participated, okay?"

This was one of the more difficult sexy dreams Vinyl had experienced. But still not the weirdest. Vinyl simply offered a limp shrug and flopped herself back upon her bed with a creaking clatter, posing herself to listen well to Dream-Twilight's words if it meant they could hurry to the show.

For a moment Twilight brushed herself off and seemed to contemplate if she should resume her posture and pontificating. A sigh dryly escaped her lips as she could clearly feel the muse had left her. No matter, that isn't the whole point anyway. "Look, I'll just get right to the point," she caught Vinyl's eyes light up at those words and she quickly snapped a hard finger at her, "Not that point! This is not a dream, Vinyl. This is real... Well, no, it's not actually real, it is a dream actually. But a real dream," her audience only blinked in response, "I mean... I'm using magic to project myself into your dreams—"

"Twilight, you don't need to do all that if you wanna bone-down. Remember, Octi and I gave you that pass and—"

"We aren't talking about that right now!" Twilight hurriedly cut her guest off, and even though Vinyl couldn't see her face exactly with the light so dim, she could sense the librarian was getting hot around the cheeks, "I am entering your dreams to tell you something of the utmost importance. That being that tonight, before you wake, you will be visited by three ghosts—"

"Like Kermit?"

"Okay, first, stop interrupting me. Second, Kermit was Bob Cratchit in that adaptation, not any of the—we're getting off topic." Twilight sighed to herself, cursing that it fell to this girl over anyone else, "Otherwise, you get the idea, I guess... Tonight three spirits will visit you and impart the true meaning of the holidays to you."

"Why?" Vinyl shifted on her bed entirely to lounge her head off one side, watching Twilight upside down as the conversation drew on far more than she was interested in.

"'Why'? Because..." Twilight considered herself, how to spin this to the nonchalant musician she found herself stuck with, ultimately relenting to the truth, "Because every holiday season, I make it a resolution-kinda to run a Christmas Carol on someone," Twilight's face went beet red at the confession, though the dim light of the library did well to hide that fact.

The candor seemed to twitch something free from Vinyl. Interest? Respect at the honesty? Humor? Whatever it was, it brought the girl to spin upright and rest her chin into the cradle of her palms. "Twilight, you sly little something-or-other! That's some real dumb fun. I didn't know you had it in you," she chirped an approving laugh with the widest of smirks on her face.

"Yeah, well... Y'know... It's just... Something I found myself doing to help bring some cheer, I guess," Twilight couldn't tell if the fluttering in her chest was from embarrassment at having admitted to it, or the odd joy that came from being complimented for it, "I-I just pick someone through a spell, and I set it into motion with some help... And this year, it landed on you."

"Can't imagine why. I love the holidays! You know my Octi and I; we're Christmas fiends."

"Well then it'll be a really easy night for you, won't it?" Something in Twilight's tone piqued a brow from Vinyl. She couldn't quite put a label on it, but it seemed confident in a way that set off a little ringing in the back of her head.

"Alright-alright... Buuuut... What if I say 'no'?" Did Scrooge ever try that? Kermit didn't. But then Kermit was not the lead, was he?

"I... Haven't ever had anyone refuse." Point one Vinyl Scratch, zero Kermit the Frog. "If you're really a 'Christmas fiend', wouldn't it be shameful to avoid playing the lead in a Christmas Carol-esque adventure?" Played by my own play, well played. "But I... I suppose we can make a deal, or something?" Jackpot to me, you pig-loving toad!

Vinyl didn't really need to think too long or hard on the offer, she entered this dream already with a clear idea she was denied by this turn of events anyway. "Okay! I'll do it, but if I don't learn the true meaning of Christmas-or-whatever, then we're gonna make good on this whole wet dream you keep blocking me on. You, me, and Octi... Unless she's cool with watching," Vinyl purred her response with a taunting trill.

Twilight for her part remained still just out of sight next to the crackling and cackling flames of the fireplace. The idea was salacious, crude, and flew in the warm fuzzy face of Christmas that she did this all in service of... And there was no denying that it did make her heart flutter and skip because of it. "Ummm... Well... I-I guess if that's the only way to get you to go along with this..." Twilight was not convincing herself, the groaning fire, or Vinyl with the please tone she had in 'relenting', "But! Be warned! You shall not be the same woman you were once this trial has concluded..."

"Yeah, you're not gonna be the same woman when I'm concluded with you either."

With nothing more to say and perhaps simply desperately wishing for this intro to conclude, Vinyl's eyes were abruptly clasped shut with a flick of the librarian's wrist. Vinyl instantly flopped into herself, folding her arms into a makeshift cradle for her now restful visage; all sense of tire flooding into her without warning. Just as quickly as slumber reclaimed the blue-haired maiden, so too did she and her bed fade from the sequester of Twilight's library.

"...Really wish it was Fluttershy this year. Who has that level of a libido at one in the morning?"

The curtain draws, and the players are called to act.

The first to come calling is the one who's words are gentle and kind.

Into the warm, welcoming embrace of the yesteryear is where the story goes.

As the Ghost of Christmas Past will surely know...

I didn't say they were all going to rhyme. Lay off.