Carol of the Scratch

What a deeply compelling, adrenaline pumping story. I don't know about you, but they had me in the first half. And the special effects? Don't even get me started. The production budget must've been through the roof. I cannot wait until next year to do it all again.

...You're not buying it, are you? Yeah, I should've known better. This is a mental medium anyway, you can't even see the special effects unless I tell you about them. How am I doing on that front, by the way? Are you feeling charmed and enchanted? Am I earning a paycheck this week? I'm just yanking your chain. I'm doing this gratis. So be grateful! I could be a dozen other things like wrapping presents or putting out cookies for Kringle, but I'm here telling you a story.

Some would say I'm a saint. But the church hasn't responded to any of my requests to have that notarized yet. I'm sure it's on the top of their to-do list.

Do you know what's on the top of my to-do list? Telling you a short story so I can go get some hot chocolate before the next act. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a little story I like to call "Gift of the Bloomer"...

...Not those bloomers, you degenerates! Some people... Make it up to me by answering this: What makes the tree so bright? That which adorns it, or which it overlooks?

The streets were asleep through all and every land. In the 'Ville named for equine, even the city up-high so grand.

But scurrying there was in the night so quiet. As children snuck free of their beds in quests most defiant.

Their parents tucked them in but hours before, with promises of gifts for every patient good boy and girl. Yet so few bade the wishes, not buying that churl.

"Last year I got boots," whispered one little girl as she crept down the stairs, "Gotta check these gifts to make sure they ain’t suits,” she kept her tone low as she moved to find the holiday wares.

Beneath the tree, wreathed in a warm Christmas glow, she spotted her prize, and inched in ever so quiet and slow.

Under all the evergreen thistle and tinsel, Applebloom found the gifts in their respective stack. There was one for Mac, for Granny, and one tucked away for dear sister Jack.

The last one to be found, nestled where there was just enough room, were the collection of gifts all labeled “Bloom”.

“At last,” she proclaimed in nary a whisper, “At last I found ‘em, not so clever sister.”

She crawled low to shimmy beneath the tree with what little quiet she could muster. Only cursing a little when she bumped the ornaments she placed near the bottom in a cluster.

The orbs they rattled, rang, and did crinkle, as the star above shook and hung on with a little twinkle.

Before long the girl clasped her prize and drew it out free, knocking her little rump against the tree as she started her flee.

“Now lets see what we all got here,” she mused as she peeled away the wrapping, “I can be a little naughty, I’ve been good all year.”

The careful care of the wrap tore free and Applebloom didn’t care for the mess. Though her heart certainly dropped when she found a dress.

It was no mere dress, the girl knew that with the utmost clarity. This was the dress she was eying at the store owned by Rarity!

All the buttons were replaced with adorable red apples glittering like a ruby. And immediately Applebloom felt like a fool, a right true booby.

"Tarnation," she cursed at the volume of a mouse, "you should'a known better, ya dumb little louse!"

But the papers were torn, her crime was ev'dent! When AJ awoke, the belt was most def'nite!

She had to think quick, apply all that she knew. If Sweetie were here, what would she do?

With a 'hm' and a 'huh' she paced over her gift. Then it came to her, a most devious grift!

Quiet remained key amidst her deception, getting caught now would be a nasty reception.

She tore at every gift's wrapping. Hers, Macs, not even Granny's were to be lacking.

Colors this way and that were strewn to and fro, the mess could not matter. Where they would fall, she'd worry later when she set to clean the scatter.

The child did her best to not spoil herself upon all the wonderful gifts she had seen. Though she was curious what that long one for AJ was, and why it was green.

The thought could not linger, and she could not worry for it now. She'd remedy her mistake, this much she would vow.

With the myriad of colored strips of presents once wrapped, she fashioned a quilt of the paper. It was crude and patchy, and all honestly would not hide her caper.

Yet still she worked, bundling all the gifts into a single mass. She wrapped the quilt of paper around it, it would have to do, alas.

There where once was the neat collections of gifts most tenderly presented, was now a lumpy mass sitting next to the tree in a mess most blended.

It was crude and ill constructed, but Bloom was well on her way to concocting her deflection. "The way gifts look? That's just a perception."

"It ain't about the gifts that gather under the tree, or the glitter of the dressing. It's about the collection of the ones you love, that's the real blessing."

Repeating her line until it set within her mind, she scurried back to her room. When tomorrow came, she only hoped for a lack of doom.

What was the lesson? What did we learn? If you find yourself curious to check your gifts early, mayhaps you should just forget it and turn.

For though your family shall forgive you for your mistakes and give you a pass, if you mess up this royal, you'll get five across the ass.

This coco is pretty good. You should get some yourself...

...I just spent the whole interlude rhyming, I'm not doing it right now. Go get something to drink or eat before the show starts. You're being rude.