As Barack Obama stood at he podium in Canterlot after overtaking Princess Celestia's throne, many ponies were scared.

"Uhhhhhhh" he said.

"First rule of New Equestria, the pony named Rainbow Dash shall be my wife and slave." he said.

"Uhhhhhhh" he said.

"That includes sex, there will be lots of it." he said.

"I heard that Kim Jong Un was in Equestria before me, thank god he's dead thanks to the Bitches with Big Tits 6." he said.

"Second rule, every pony, mare or stallion, must be my sex slave for a day whenever I say." he said.

"Third rule, anything I say, you must do." he said.

"Uhhhhh, like sex." he said.

"Fourth rule, give me all your guns." he said.

"Fifth rule, everyone can only watch Nicolas Cage films, nothing else." he said.

"Sixth rule, you must worship me as a god and everytime you see me, you must touch my penis." he said.

"That is my ruling, abide by these rules and I won't have to murder you with a butter knife." he said.

Author's Note

I never knew Obama was so sexual...