An Adventure in Gay

A pale green stallion stood in his bathroom, getting ready to go out for the night. He curioiusly stared down a small white box in his hoof labeled Stay-At-Home Enema. With little confidence, he opened the box and poured the contents before him, shuffling them around a bit and looking back and forth between them and the instructions.

"So I just take this and... oh, um. This is kinda-.. ahhhh mahgahd~"

New Ground

Shuffle sidestepped around the Ponyville nightlife barscene. He had played this game before: patrol around the bar until he finds a girl who seemed interesting, then try to talk them into spending the evening with him, wink wink nudge nudge. Most of the time it was pretty easy. He thought himself a young, cute stallion who was both quirky and flirtatious, especially when he's actually trying to get laid. Every once in a while, he'd get mistaken for a mare. Whenever Shuffle looked in a mirror, he could almost see why: his features came off feminine at first glace. The pale green earth pony had fairly thick eyelashes, a small frame, and a less-than-manly facial structure, all of this topped off with a thick and long dark brown mane that seemed always looked more natural unkept. This look would always get him some strange catcall that ended badly, commonly going something like "Hay baby, how'd you like to come home wi- oh my god I'm so sorry I thought you were-" But this night was different. This night, he was looking for that kind of attention. This night, Shuffle was looking for a stallion.

Shuffle was in a place called Backy's Bar, better known to the town by it's nickname, Club Flank, because everyone learned at one point or another, everyone came there looking to bone. The thorough inebriation of most of the attendants, as well as constant bedroom eyes from everyone around you proved that. If you were even half sober, you could almost see hookups going on before they happen. There's a sign outside the place that states No PDA, but nopony really abides by it, nor do any of the workers enforce it. Seeing kissing and grinding of any gender is pretty much the norm at Backy's. All of this is accompanied by dim lights and upbeat music, along with a heavy musk of sex and booze. The place was pretty much a night club, but wasn't considered one because of it's size. All of this was contained in a medium sized bar like you'd find in the movies. It was really strange, everything seemed a lot smaller from the outside.

Shuffle wasn't sure what he liked in stallions. He hardly knew his type in mares, much less colts. He strolled around to the beat of some weird bass boosted remix of Thrift Shop, scanning out the males in the group who didn't look totally wasted. If there was one thing he didn't like, it was throw up on the breath of the pony he was making out with. It was a weird feeling for him, checking out stallions. It was more natural to him than he had expected. He noticed a couple of colts closer to his age kissing and groping in a non-drunk way by the bar and considered trying to sly into it, but his self-consciousness and respect for privacy shut him down. He moved on, but it almost embarrassed him how much he liked watching the two go at it. The more he looked around, the more hope he lost in finding someone. He moved to a wall and waited for someone to pass by, or to scope out a guy he missed. There was barely any guy who wasn't partying themselves out, and the ones who weren't were either making out already or just looked plain boring. Shuffle had noticed at least four mares who seemed plausible, but he was trying to stay determined."Maybe if I drink a little and get in with the party scene, some guy would come to me" he thought to himself. "But only if I dance in a really gay way..."

Shuffle started toward the bar, but stopped when he heard the music fade into a familiar drum beat, one that almost always got him to dance. Pony Rock Anthem was Shuffle's jam, he knew it word for word, and as soon as he recognized the intro, a smirk spread across his face. He swiveled around and started toward the ponies who were getting really into the music. They seemed to recognize the song as well and were preparing for the electronic breakdown, usually when dancing would get the most... soulful. The party stomped their hooves along to the beat, building up their energy slowly, a few sang along flatly. Ponies got lower to the ground as the drop got closer and closer, making it obvious that they wanted everyone to kick off the jam session with a jump. Shuffle saw his golden opportunity to literally jump in and join the crowd the as the buildup climaxed. He began building up speed, moving toward the partiers with his intentions clear. Shuffle timed a jump and prayed he hit right on the beat. The music when quiet for a second, then came back just as Shuffle's hooves hit the floor in the crowd. The ponies around him exploded with energy and danced freestyle to whatever came naturally to them. Most of them looked like idiots, including Shuffle, but didn't care because they were having a great time. As the lyrics came back, Shuffle moved about the crowd lipping the words to random dancers around him, as he did, more and more ponies joined him in singing along flatly. When the chorus came back around, most of the crowd was singing with him, even some of the ponies around the bar who weren't dancing joined in. As the buildup started again, Shuffle realized a lot of the attention of the crowd was going toward him. He slowly lowered himself to the ground, intending to jump with the second breakdown, the crowd following as he did. Just as the music went quiet, Shuffle popped up a belted the signature and anticipated Everyday I'm Shufflin' and whipped his hair as the beat fell. With his eyes closed and a smile on his face, Shuffle threw his body around rhythmically, keeping a solid circular whip going with his hair. He went on like this until the song slowed down, and he allowed himself to open his eyes and saw the crowd a formed somewhat of a ring around him to watch him dance. In a mixture of embarrassment and ecstasy, Shuffle looked around at the party scene with a big stupid smile on his face. The slow part didn't last long, and quickly gave way to another buildup, this one considerable longer than the rest. Shuffle led the ponies in by practically shouting the repetitive lyrics, and gesturing energetically along with the song. The partiers lowered for the final drop around Shuffle, giving him a satisfying sense of leading. Just as the music climaxed Shuffle could see over the crowd for just a second, and in it, he noticed a bubblegum pink stallion watching the partiers shyly from the far wall. Before Shuffle could get a good look at him, the beat dropped to chorus and the crowd jumped and raved around him, filling gap between the himself and the crowd. Shuffle quickly got back into the partying mindset, keeping that stallion in the back of his mind while he sang along loudly. After one last vigorous session, the chorus fell to fade out, and the party scene began to calm down, at least for now. They had now made another ring where ponies were jumping in and out of the middle and showing off their dance moves. Shuffle smirked at the energy he had quelled in the crowd, then shuffled around the loosely packed dancers toward the bar.

Arriving, Shuffle ordered a plain water from the bartender, and was taken aback when she said it costed three bits.

"Dude! It's water." He argued.

"I don't set the prices." The bartender replied monotonously.

Shuffle rolled his eyes and dug his hoof into his neckbag, pulling out three bits and throwing them reluctantly on the bar. The bartender scooped them up then grabbed a glass and began filling it with water from the soda gun.

"No ice." Shuffle added, grumbling.

The barkeep slid the glass across the table and Shuffle snatched it, downing most of it within three large gulps.

"Three bits." He complained under his breath, looking at the glass frustratedly. He downed the rest of the water and recoiled like his had just taken a swig of vodka. Shuffle took a moment to study the bartender idly as she served other ponies.

"White coat, long violet mane, bright green eyes..." Shuffle observed to himself silently out of sheer lack of anything else to do. He noticed a name tag that was stuck lazily into her hair, most likely because she wasn't wearing any clothes to pin it onto. "Bitz." Shuffle murmured, focusing on it.

"Hey!" An unfamiliar, friendly voice interrupted loudly from behind him. Shuffle, not expecting anyone to come up to him, jumped and released the glass straight up into the air. He fumbled it around when it came back down, trying to catch it with his hooves, but only managed to drop it again, closing his eyes tightly and waiting for the crash. Miraculously, the bartender had lunged half her body over the bar in time to catch Shuffle's glass with a upward facing hoof, all while giving Shuffle an I-don't-get-paid-enough-for-this-crap look. Shuffle forced a humiliated laugh and took the glass out of the air and set it excessively gently on the bar. Shuffle shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ward away embarrassment, then swiveled around to look at the pony who wanted his attention. He opened his eyes to see the bubblegum pink stallion clamping a hoof over his mouth to keep from laughing in front of him.

The only word Shuffle could manage was an exasperated "bruh," which only made the stallion lose his cool and burst out laughing, but seeming like he wanted to keep his voice down when he did. Shuffle just smirked and watched him, happy to finally be making some progress with getting laid. The stallion calmed down with a long exhaled "aaaaah."

"I saw you dancing out there." He said. "It was preeetty gay."

"Well that's what I was shooting for, so mission accomplished I guess." Shuffle replied, sarcastically.

"So you are gay?"

"Uhm... Yeah, kinda."

The stallion smiled, looking almost relieved at Shuffle's answer. The silence would be awkward if it weren't for Last Friday Night playing in the background.

"I'm Pi- Bubble Berry." He introduced, breaking the tension.

"Shuffle."

It got awkward again. Shuffle had no idea how to talk to another stallion, especially one that was coming onto him. He was usually the one doing the coming onto, both in and out of context. Once again, Bubble Berry was the one to break the silence.

"Earth pony, then?" He spoke, checking out Shuffle's body and obviously trying to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah. You too, I see." Shuffle replied, wanting to continue conversing, but unsure how. He resorted to some things he'd usually ask when he was out for mares.

"Soooo, you from around here?"

"Yeah. I think I've seen you around, too."

"Probably somewhere."

Shuffle saw that this "flirting" was going nowhere fast. He decided to take a chance and be very straightforward.

"Seeing as though you're here, I'll assume you're trying to bone?"

Much to Shuffle's surprise, Bubble Berry took the remark very casually, and replied in a simple tone. "Bone, get boned, whatever happens."

"...me?"

"Ya got me." Berry replied shrugging sarcastically.

Shuffle gave a surprised grin at Berry's attitude, which Berry returned with a knowing smile.

Without warning, the crowd began to get chant rhythmically T-G-I-F, T-G-I-F, T-G-I-F, T-G-I-F! This got loud enough to get everyone in the bar's attention. The partiers appeared the be surrounding a single pony, but Shuffle nor Berry could see what was going on. The crowd opened up at the top of their chant to reveal really classy looking pony with circular sunglasses and a fedora thrusting himself into a saxophone solo on a table that somehow found itself in the middle of the dancefloor. He was getting really jazzy on it when a jacked guy in a tight black shirt cleared through the crowd and scooped the guy off the table. The dancers kept cheering for him as he played his saxophone all the way out the door. Everything seemed to carry, but with much more energy than before.

"So whaddya mean kinda gay?" Berry asked before the awkward silence returned.

"Well, uh. I haven't really done anything with another... guy... before." Shuffle felt his cheeks getting rosy, unsure of how to Berry would react. Berry just grinned, clearly excited to hear what Shuffle had to say.

"So, this will have been your first time doing the do with a dude."

Shuffle returned the smile shyly and nodded.

"Well that's convenient." Berry started. "Because this will have been my first time doing it as a dude."

It took Shuffle a moment to understand what Berry was saying. He face filled with obvious confusion, but flip flopped back and forth before half-understanding and assuming sarcasm. After a moment of silly facial expressions, Shuffle stuttered over a couple words, trying to articulate a question.

Getting his words together, he ended up with "So yyyou used to be a-"

"Mare." Berry finished for him.

"And now you're a-"

"Stallion, yes. Had a unicorn friend do it for me yesterday." Berry cut him off, expecting this kind of reaction.

Shuffle rubbed his face with his hoof. Not a lot of things take Shuffle by surprise, but this was really something he wasn't expecting. He sputtered a "Wow," laughingly. Shuffle decided that this might be a good transition into stallions, seeing as though Berry probably didn't have a lot of experience as one. He could also avoid the embarrassment of breaking some unwritten rule in gay sex or coming off as obviously inexperienced.

"So what now?" Shuffle asked, quelling a hysteric laughter under his breath.

"Wanna get the frack out of here?"

"...Yeah!" Shuffle exclaimed, throwing his hooves up. "Let's get the frickfrack out of here." He echoed, acting as exasperated as he felt and taking on the whole screw it! attitude.

Berry smiled and nodded his head toward the door, then started that way. Shuffle followed somewhat closely behind him, but left himself room the admire Berry's backside.