"I'm not getting on that!" I tried to argue for dear life. I pointed at the Princesses golden chariot. That couldn't be safe. All there was to keep you from falling was a fucking gate that went up to my knees. It was five ponies against one me. As soon as Rainbow Dash got here I wouldn't physically have a chance at winning this argument.

"Darling, why are you so insistent on not going on the fair mode of travel ." She said in her posh accent. I was starting to hate her way of talking.

AppleJack sized me up. "Ah think he's afraid of heights." She tried to intimidate me, but she was right.

"Bingo! She's right I am afraid of heights. It's my instincts to be. Pretty much if I fall I die." I tried to convince them not to force me.

Fluttershy decided to try next. "It's not actually that scary." She spoke in probably the tiniest voice she could muster up. I had to strain my ears to hear her.

Really a pegasus telling me not to be afraid of heights. "Yeah, but you've got wings so it's not fair." Once she realised that was true she blushed for her mistake and hid behind her mane.

AppleJack came to pitch again. "Well what about me I don't have wings or magic?"

That was actually a good excuse. "You're not immune to magic." I batted the excuses away. Home run!

The Princess stepped in this time. "Neither are you Cole, remember I can use magic on you so you won't be able to fall."

She thought she had trapped me, but she doesn't think like I think. "Well can you catch me when I'm falling at near terminal velocity." On this day I had outsmarted a Princess. In a bullshit way. "Anyway, don't you guys have trains?" I asked.

"Well yeah we do, but this way is much faster." Twilight chirped in. I swear at this moment Pinkie was starting to vibrate from anger.

I was about to argue again when I saw Pinkie frown. I didn't think that was possible. Her mane wasn't poofy anymore and she had turned a darker shade of pink. I don't think she liked us arguing. I knew she was a ticking time bomb. All of the ponies there looked at me as if to say 'It's your fault, do something.' I sighed, I probably was going to regret doing this. "Hey Pinkie." I said changing my demoner to a happy one. "How about you come on the train with me?" I asked.

I actually hoped she said no so I could go alone and I also felt bad if I tore her away from her friends. She started to suck in air at an alarming rate. "Oh my Celestia, I get to hang out with my bestest friends in the whole wide world." The ran over to me and gave me a bone crushing hug that could have killed me. "Let's go right now and grab out tickets?"

I began to run out of air and I think I may have been turning as blue as Rainbow Dash's fur when the Princess stopped her with her magic. "Now now Pinkie. Leave some air in him for later when you're on the train." She warned with a mischievous look on her face. You fucking troll! Pinkie grabbed my hand with her hoof and slowly led me away, towards what I hoped was the train station and not a torture chamber.

I was being dragged towards the station when I saw Rainbow Dash flying through the air. Pinkie hadn't noticed her quite yet, but Rainbow Dash had noticed us. She started gliding next to me. "Sup, where you guys off to?" She looked at Pinkie who had stopped and started staring at her innocently. She mock gasped. "Are you guys..."

I cut her off before she finished her sentence. I didn't want them kind of thoughts in my head. "No!" I may have said a little too loud. I really wanted to get rid of her now. "Were taking the train, and I think Fluttershy's waiting on you." I said with the metaphorical ball now on my side.

Rainbow Dash went a tiny bit red and she looked away hoping that Pinkie hadn't noticed. I could tell Pinkie already knew, but was just keeping it a secret. "Douche." She summed me up in one word.

Pinkie eyes suddenly widened. "Dashie you should come with us two." She offered. Oh fuck you Pinkie! Can't you see I'm trying to get rid of her. She actually did and she was doing it on purpose.

Please say no. Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. "I could see why you would want me to come along with you. Okay." She paused for a moment and asked. "Where are the others? I'll need to tell them I'm coming with you two,..." She mouthed the word lovers and I responded with a middle finger that a butterfly gesture.

She turned red and flew off to tell the others. "I'll buy you a ticket!" I shouted behind her. Me and Pinkie walked over to the ticket booth. In the booth was a brown stallion with a dark blue hat on. In honesty his uniform reminded me if Postman Pat's. "Three tickets please." I asked.

He gave us the tickets and responded in a very raspy, almost smokers voice. "That'll be 6 bit's please." I took six bits out the bag and gave him them we walked away to wait for Dash and get onto the next train. I looked into the bag that Lyra gave me, it still had about 100 bits in it, Fuck how much do I need? And what is Lyra's job for her to have this much spare?

I walked over to a bench that looked like it was made for a bipedal and sat down. "I wonder how Canterlottians react to me?" I asked the pink mare who was currently trying to sit like me but failing. No matter how much you can break the laws of physics you cannot change your body shape. Or so I think.

Canterlottians was a word I made up to call the Canterlot ponies. I heard it once while I was at my uncles, he lives in England, more specifically in Manchester which was like a city to England. Anyway they said it about people from a place called Bolton, they called them Boltonians which I was confused they are English so call them pie-munchers.

Pinkie was now sat on her haunches on the bench. What the hell all they need is mats on the floor. "I think they're gonna like you!" Pinkie said looking in the sky, probably for Rainbow Dash I wouldn't blame her myself. If I met me I would shoot me. Though a bit vague for a Pinkie Pie response.

We sat in silence for a couple while before another noise was made. "It's a doozie, it's a doozie." What? I need a fucking translator.

There was a very dark cave at the edge of Canterlot. Inside there was a throne made of wood, bones and skin of dead diamond dogs. Sat atop that throne was a silhouette with a blood red glow in his hand. His whole hand was a solid crystal that had 'Power' carved on its fingers. He was tapping his fingers on the bones that created the armrests. The cave was dimly light by a stick with a fire lit atop of it in each corner.

A large diamond dog walked in. His fir was brown and he wore a gray jacket that only reached his waist. He also wore a pair of tatty gray joggers. His left eye was covered with a eyepatch and his whole body had nasty scars. He looked like a true warrior. "Ah... patch you made it. So you think you can kill honored?" A teenage voice asked.

"My names not patch!" He snarled. The figure on the throne held out his pinky finger on the crystalised hand and let out a burst of magic that missed the dog. The magic created a massive shock about 12 meters wide all from that one spark. A tiny bit of the electric hit the dog. The dog let out a small whimper before falling to the and started convulsing, this went on for a long minute before the dog eventually stopped shaking and his body calmed. The dog wasn't dead, he was still heaving for breath.

The newly named Patch rose to his paws and he visabally had pain in his eyes. The sides of his cheeks were wet from tears and his what was smooth hair was now sticking out. The thing in the chair didn't need to say anything. "So do you think you can kill honor?" The thing in the chair asked. It grabbed a mask that looked like it was spawned straight from tartarus and put it on. The mask was of a skull, had horns that made dragons jealous.

Patch stuck out his chest and took a deep breath. "Hell Yeah!" He boasted in a loud voice.

This reply only seemed to tick the silhouette off. The figure kneed the pup in the stomach causing him fall to the floor. "Do you know what the Element of Honor is capable of?!" He shouted in a voice so loud it could burst some ponies eardrums. Patch's ears flattened to his head to block out some of the sound. "In the right hands the Element of Honor can destroy worlds and because it's not sided that means it doesn't share it's power. " He said in a more calmer voice.

Patch being winded had to strain for his voice to come out. "Does that mea-" He was cut off by a crystal hand dragging him up to his feet. On which when standing he inhaled a breath of air.

"Yes. That means it it one of the most powerful objects on any planted around here. There is only one thing that can defeat it at the moment." He took out a sheet of paper with a language that was not known to anyone anymore due to anyone who spoke it being killed. "When we translate this we can be invincible." Patch just looked at him with a look of 'Really man, that cliche' The figure just looked back. "Anyway ,I want to prove to one of my friends that I haven't wasted my life yet." He gave a vague hint of what he actually wanted. Maybe on the lines of being finally noticed as something other that what he was.

Patch and the figure was silent for a moment in a cave the awkwardness couldn't be cut with a chainsaw it was that thick. That was until Patch spoke. "So do you know where my target is?" He asked. He had been brought down here for a target, but if it wasn't Honor that what was it.

"Ah yes your target." He said reminding himself what he actually hired him for. He walked back to the throne that he had made and sat down. Once he was comfortable he gestured the pup to his side, which he obediently followed out. Once he was there he raised his hands into a rectangle shape. His glove glowed and he pulled out his hands, which in turn made a red hologram which was a map. "There!" He pointed at a moving dot which had a tag above it saying Treachery. "You are going against Treachery if you find a human in Canterlot thats them." He looked over to Ponyville where he had last saw Honor. He was at the edge of Ponyville. "Scratch that, you may have two human visitors in Canterlot. But no matter what .Don't. Kill. Honor." He said in the most stern tone he could muster up.

"Do you know what Honor looks like then?" Patch asked.

The figure looked at Patch like he was insane. "Don't you think I've tried that?!" He spat venom. "*Sigh* No the Elements are protecting them. All of the Element bearers are unreadable."

I was waiting around on Dash to come back, it seemed as if she was taking ages.

'I wonder if she's too lame to come with us!' I thought. Wait was that me thinking i've never thought things like that. Yeah I'm awesome but everyone else is okay at least. Well most people. I shrugged it off and started looking at the pink earth pony that was still sat on the bench wagging her tail if she wasn't sentient it would be adorable. Something about her being able to talk put me off thinking the display of puppyitus in front of me was adorable. Not her being able to bend the laws of physics,no her being able to make words put me off.

What makes her like she is? Cocaine or something? 'Aren't horses deceptable to salt or something?' Wait I don't know that. Well I must do.

'So Pinkie must be doped up on salt' Thats my conclusion. She seemed to stay silent most of the time, which I did not expect. I expected her to be flapping her lips the whole time. My mind started going fuzzy for a second before a sharp pain that jolted me from my thoughts, which I couldn't remember. My mind started going fuzzy again before I found myself looking back at Pinkie she was looking around like she was high being entertained by everything around her.

I was facing towards her but she was just looking around. The seats were curved around in a wiggly pattern so she sat on the next one to me. It seemed like we had moved, we wasn't sat here before. I some how had moved.

I was now looking at Pinkies flank for some reason. I tried to tear my eyes away from it but it was like I was hypnotised by it. Deluded thoughts of her perfectly round flank started popping into my head. Sexual fantasies started to fill my head about it, like how it probably feel a lot better than a human girls.

As if my mind and my stomach was colliding I started feeling sick to my stomach. This wasn't me. I wasn't into animals. At the same time my mind was telling me she wasn't an animal if I asked her for a quicky she could give her consent and say yes or neigh. That thought made me want to turn the floor green with my bodily fluids. At the same time my mind was thinking about filling her with my bodily fluids.

I'm pretty sure at this moment I was a pale green color. I found myself being pulled out my thoughts by a spectrum muncher. Rainbow Dash was poking me with a hoof. "C'mon dude we gotta go!" She said. She sounded a bit irritated, from all I know she could have been there for ten minutes and I wouldn't have noticed.

Pinkie Pie had already been on the train for a while now. So was just sitting there staring at a bench against my own will. I stood up and looked at Rainbow Dash who was giving me a knowing look. "Dude really?" She asked skeptically.

"Shut up!" She now had something against me so I couldn't really use you know who anymore since I actually got caught. If any case she had the upper hoof in this. I walked off towards the train which was about 300m away. Why we chose to sit so far away I don't know.

"C'mon dude you don't have to be so stroppy about it." She started. "You always do it to me."

"And you have the same reaction as I do!" I reminded her.

"Oh yeah." She realised. We were walking quite slowly towards the train. It was a bit of a surprise that that it hadn't took off yet. I guessed we still had a couple of minutes. "So, Pinkie huh?" She asked awkwardly.

I grunted. "No! I don't like her. I just... couldn't take my eyes away from her..." At this point I hated that everything lined up to that and I couldn't argue because I had no proof and they did.

Once I had finished that Rainbow Dash started to laugh her ass...I mean flank off. Once she saw my pissed off face glaring in her direction she laughed even more. Then she began to reassure me. "Don't worry man. I clop over Fluttershy's all the time." She said absent-mindedly.

'Wait is that what I think it means?' I asked myself about to laugh my ass off.

'Yep' I answered myself. Dash's eyes widened at what she said. She began to turn red. 'Theres your answer.'

"No, no no! You didn't hear that!" She hyperventilated she probably was thinking this. 'What would Fluttershy think if she found out I clop over her?' Well even though I couldn't read minds I assumed I was correct. I felt guilty causing this panic attack, so I had to do something.

"Don't worry your secret's safe with me. As long as mine is with you." She nodded. "Well than we got nothing to worry about." Oh Moiria, marry me please? "Well expect a little mocking from both sides." I said I knew what I'm like and I sorta knew what she's like and this is about to get fun.

She sighed and started walking again. "Okay. Just don't stare at Pinkie's flank in public."

I decided to make clopping noises with my tongue all the way to the train, which I think aggravated her. She struck first and it was on, I wasn't going to make it easy for her, was I?

Once we got on the train we went in a booth that Pinkie was in. In all honesty it reminded me of the ones from Harry Potter. Pinkie was in it greeting us with a smile that showed she had a question coming. "Hey Dashie, Coley." She said. The nickname 'Coley' just went through me causing a shiver. "Were you two talking about my flank? 'Cause someone is talking about my flank! My Pinkie sense told me." Well thats not creepy at all.

Dash stepped up to cover for me, I think. "Well Cole was..." You fucking bitch, you fucking betrayed me. "He was asking what that thing is on you flank. I explained to him it was a cutie mark." She stated. Oh she didn't betray me. Dash winked at me. "Ain't that right Cole?" She asked.

"Yes!" I spoke way too fast so I had to cover for myself. "Yeah, just about cutie marks." I said. Usually I was a good liar, but in this situation something just ripped the calm out of me.

"Really?" She asked superstitiously and I nodded nervously at her. "Well okay then!" She chirped and I took this time to sit on the opposite side as Dash had. "Well if you two will excuse me I need to go to the little fillies room." She said almost too happily. As she bounced past my eyes drifted to her flank which was the perfect size. The round booty bouncing in the slightest way to get your attention.

Lewd thoughts began to invade my head again. I was thinking about grabbing her by the cutie marks and pulling her towards me letting my tip slowly invade her---- 'Aww no that just isn't right.' My thoughts and my fantasies were in two different places right now.

I looked back at Dash who was now giving me a shit eating smirk. "I've always wondered why you wore pants." She stated nodding down to my nether region, which I saw was bulging but at the same time cold. She mock sighed and shook her head as I pulled my combat jacket over the bulge in my pants. "By the way it's gonna be hard to cover for you if you keep staring in public."

I responded to that with a middle finger and closed my eyes, I was about to get some of the only non knocked out sleep since I got here.

Author's Note

Sorry about them still not getting to Canterlot yet, but I wanted to level out the playing field between him and Dash so it's not so one sided.