College: An Anthro Life

"So that's how Equestria became a united monarchy under Princess Celestia and Princess Luna's rule." Twilight said as she finished her lesson. It's been quite a while since I arrived at this party and now it's 8:00 PM at night. Twilight and I have been sitting at this circular table for the whole party, just talking about random shit. At first it went from me asking a simple question, but this lead to a whole story about the construction of Equestria's political system.

"Okay, as much as I appreciate that talk that, and I wish I was exaggerating, took 30 minutes... but, that still doesn't answer why she's called 'Princess' and not 'Queen'." I stated, going back to my original question. "I mean, she rules over the whole country, so why do we insist on calling her princess?"

"Well, the title of queen was taken out of the records after the Changelings became a prominent threat to us Ponies." Twilight said as she took a sip of her punch.

"Changelings?" I said, confused as to what they were.

"They're insect-pony creatures that feed off emotion, specifically love."

"Huh? That's funny."

"What is?"

"Back on Earth, we have a similar creature in folk religion that are believed to be the children of faeries that replaced human children."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow." Twilight stated as she stirred a straw in her punch. For some reason, I found Twilight insufferably adorable. It's probably the way that she's super smart, but a little dense when it came to some social stuff. When she talked about a funny story, I said it was "LOL material" (don't ask) and she turned her head to the side asking what a "LOL" was.

So far this party was, in my mind, a huge success. Everypony was having fun, drinking either fruit punch or some alcoholic apple cider. I'm guessing most of the ponies liked the punch since one pinkish one with a raspberry colored mane swiped some while no one was looking, or so she thought.

"Man, did you see Berry Punch take slurp some punch from the bowl." One mare whispered to her friend.

"Probably thought it was cider, the slut." the friend replied, the two slightly giggling as well. I cringed as I watched those two laugh at that mare like that, not caring if there was a reason behind it. I knew a girl in my high school who was called a slut just because she was told the head of the football team thought she was hot. It killed me to see that girl go through the day being berated for absolutely nothing.

"Lloyd?" A voice snapped me out of my train of thought, this voice being a concerned Twilight.

"Y-Yeah?" I asked.

"I guess you heard those two." she said in a low whisper.

"Yeah," I replied with the same whisper. "Mind telling me what stick was wedged in their asses?"

"Hehe, they're just the popular mares Lewis, and Berry is just an easy target for them."

"Berry?"

"Berry Punch, the mare who swiped punch. She's a nice mare when you get to know her, trust me. It's just... pony's tend to generalize her as a party mare."

"What? Like Pinkie?"

"No... like, um..."

"A cheap skank."

"Well, we could have just left it at party mare!"

"Look, I may be a nerd, but I'm from Philly, we say everything straight forward." I explained as I lay back in my chair, chuckling as Twilight gave me a look that reminded me of my mom. I took one more sip of my punch before my natural instincts took over me as I stood up.

"Where are you going?" Twilight asked with some concern. Despite me saying that I say things as they are, when it comes to my bodily functions, I tend to soften things. So, with as much false gusto I could muster in front of a woman, I managed to squeak something out.

"Tinkle." I squeaked out as I hurried to the restroom, leaving behind a giggling purple Unicorn. Since most of the downstairs has been just a living room and some bedrooms, I went upstairs to see if there were any restrooms. After walking up the stairs, I found two doors from across from each other that were painted blue and pink respectively. Now, despite it being plainly obvious that those doors most likely, like 95%, had restrooms, my instincts made me open the blue door slowly incase there was something different beyond the horizon.

After finally opening the door, I saw that it was, indeed, a Mens restroom. Unlike a regular bathroom in a dorm house like this, it had two urinals on the wall, one stall, and a sink. I was the only one in the bathroom, so I decided to just use a urinal. After my... "Tinkle session" (sounds like "Tingle session"), I was about to head out to join Twilight again, until I heard some interesting noises. These noises had an odd sense to them, like rough moaning-OH! Well, now I don't need to be told twice as to what's going on the room next to me

Although, I may know that some two ponies are doing the dirty deed, I walked slowly, just to make sure what I assumed was, in fact, true.

"WRONG HOLE!" a shout came from the other room, enticing me to run back down to the other party in this dorm house. I almost tripped down the stairs, but I was lucky enough to keep my bifocals unscathed. I walked back to the table where Twilight was at... originally. I took my bifocals and wiped the lenses with my shirt, but she still wasn't there.

"Lloyd." a loud whisper came from the corner of my eye. I turned around slightly to find Twilight with two other mares. She waved me over to her little group, which by the guidance of my black friend meant either two things. One, she wanted me over to meet her friends. Two, she wanted a foursome. My nerd senses told me the former was the most likely answer. I was reluctant at first, but my mom always told me that meeting new people couldn't hurt.

I walked over and now the mares became a lot more clear, in fact, they were the two mares Big Mac had shown me, his little sister and her friend.

"Girls, this is my new human friend Lloyd." Twilight said as she looked at me. I gave an awkward smile and tipped my head as a friendly gesture. The orange and white mares both smiled at me, the orange one holding her hand up.

"Howdy there pardner, name's Applejack." She said with a southern flare. I shook her hand like any gentlemen would do (so says my mom), but was met with a vice grip. I tried to hide the painful look on my face, but Applejack looked as if she knew that she may have destroyed my hand bone. " Eheh, sorry 'bout that." Applejack said a little sheepishly while rubbing the back of her head.

"Darling, please, don't be so rough with Twilight's new friend." The white mare named Rarity said, saying friend with a slightly sultry tone. She took my wrist and shook since my hand was currently throbbing. "My name is Rarity dear, and I must say, it's nice to see Twilight found a new male friend, although I didn't expect that special somepony to be human." She said with a smile. I was initially confused at to what she was hinting at, until I saw Twilight with a furious blush around her purple face.

"R-Rarity! It's not like that!" Twilight asserted, her blush getting bigger.

"Oh Twilight, come on, he seems nice." Rarity said in a humored tone, giggling as Twilight sputtered. I just kept quiet, a natural instinct of mine. Applejack just sighed at the comedic and turned to me with a smile.

"So, you from dat human world everypony keeps talkin 'bout?" She asked.

"Y-Yeah, Philadelphia." I said nervously.

"Fillydelphia? Ah thought you didn't come from Equestria?" Applejack questioned

"I don't, Philadelphia is in America, a human country." I replied matter-of-factly.

"Nah, it's a city in Equestria." She said annoyed.

"How so?" I myself questioned.

"Well... I don't remember, ah just know." She stated, giving out replies I gave out in 3rd grade.

"I know for certain." I said.

"I know for certain times 2" She spouted childishly.

"... I'm not going there." I dead-panned

"Hehe, Ah win then" She announced to herself proudly. We both looked at each other and chuckled at the banter we had just made. "So you have the same city?"

"I guess so... is your's spelled differently?" I asked, hoping we'd get somewhere instead of some banter akin to the "Who" band from Animaniacs.

"F-I-L-L-Y-D-E-L-P-H-I-A." she spelled. As my mind put together the letters, I face-palmed at such a stupid pun. "Something wrong over there sugarcube?" Applejack asked innocently.

"You do see the painful pun in the spelling don't you." I asked.

"Yeah, so? How's your's spelled then?"

"'Delphia's the same, but it begins with P, H, I, L, and A."

"...Well then." She said with a slight blush at the Equestrain name. Our conversation was interrupted by a loud clearing of one's throat, who turned out to be the white mare I had just met a few minute's ago.

"I don't mean to be rude, but we are still here." Rarity quipped while gesturing to her and Twilight.

"You were?" Applejack and I joked. We both chuckled at each other and Applejack held her fist up for a pound, which I returned kindly since I didn't do that stuff often. Twilight and Rarity gave us little pouts and we all had a good laugh. Our good times were done short, however, as a loud smack came from the center of the room.

"THE FUCK BITCH!"

to be continued...