"Ok, first question: How do fingers work?"

*If she asks me to let her suck on my fingers I am going tip the out the door.* "Imagine you foreleg and the last joint for you hoof is a little higher, and there are five of them on a much smaller scale at the end of your arm." I hold a hand and waggle my fingers at her. "Also, you know that spike hands hands right?"

"Yes I know, but I never get the chance to study his hands. And they're more like claws anyway."

"Good point. Ok, what is there on human mythology?"

"Nothing much. According the books I have on Human mythology they had existed far before Princess Celestia's rule. And there aren't many documented interactions between humans and ponies. And no recorded history of humans at all. Just depictions of humans and their body structure."

"Nothing determining whether theses humans that lived here had any kind of magic?" She shakes her head. "Hmm... gotta talk to Tia about that..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, your turn."

"Okay... What are humans like were you come from?"

*Just like with Twi...* "I'll give you two or three answers to that question. As a group, my kind are chaotic, warlike, sadistic, and generally all around crazy. But if you look at a lot of individuals, the majority that are materialistic, fake, judgmental, and two-faced. Then there are the very few that are like me."

"Like you?" I nod.

"Yes, there were few people like me: compassionate, caring, tolerant, not judgmental, understanding. There were people that rarely were open-minded. Or at least that's how I viewed my own people."

"Wow, that's actually. Really bucked up."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, where did you start your pursuit of anthropology?"

"I got interested when I was a filly back in Canterlot, I was at the library reading ancient pony mythology when I spotted a book about ancient humans. When I got my hooves on a couple of books about humans they only showed how they looked like and what each body part does."

"So basically it's like a biology book?" She nods. *Ok, I REALLY need to go talk to Tia about this.* "Continue."

"Ok, Do humans where you come form have magic?"

"Nope. Magic was just an allusion on my world."

"Really!? How!? Nothing can survive without magic!"

"Well, that's hoe it is in my planet." I then remember something I've been wanting to do. "Lyra, you mind if we cut this Q an A little short? Just remembered something I gotta do right now."

"I think so, I need to so some other stuff too..." She gets up from the chair she sat in. She really fucking sits down like how any human would. And y-no I didn't fucking see anything and no it wasn't fucking awkward to be sitting in front of her and no I didn't fantasize about fucking her. To keep myself from digging a bigger hole I walked back outside and noticed that there was a large group of ponies gathering around something. Or a fucking attention whore of a filly. Said filly is Applebloom and she is currently standing on one hind leg while twirling a hola hoop on each foreleg and balancing two spinning plates on her snout, add a hola hoop to her barrel. The crowd cheers as Bloom jumps in the air while tossing the plates, hoops and sticks into the air. Bloom lands before the props do and stands on her hind legs. She catches the three hoops and they spin around her barrel, the sticks land on her snout, quickly followed by two plates as they balance on each stick and continue to fucking spin. The crowd erupts in cheering and applauding at Bloom's soon-to-be-out-of-control talents. But for now it's entertaining to watch as Bloom performs with plate spinning and hola looping.

*I wonder how the cutie pox is even a fucking sickness in the first place...* By now Bloom finished her impromptu performance, and the crowd has spread back out to market. I spot Twi and Aj talking to each other. I blink behind them, wait exactly tree seconds, and speak. "So, ever heard of having more than one talent?" The gasp and jump a little.

"Streak! Can you please STOP doing that?"

"Yeah! That' gettin' pretty annoyin' Streak!"

"I told you that he can sneak up on anypony! You owe me ten bits!"

"Oh for Celestia's sake! Fine..." Apparently the ponies of Ponyville have been making bets about me.

*Yeah, that isn't boosting my self esteem at all. Neither is it making me very bombastic.* "Anyway, I know you've heard of the cutie pox right?"

"Yes, but the only outbreak took place centuries ago! And the sickness just disappeared mysteriously..."

"Whelp *clap* good luck finding the cure, you're not gonna need it."

"Wadaya mean by that?"

"The cure will end up right in front of you soon enough."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"You'll figure it out. Right now I need to go home and do some stuff." *Fucking gaming time!* I blink home and go play some online flash games, for the rest of the night...

--------->>>>The next fucking day<<<<---------

I think the universe hates me again, or that everything happens to fucking fast for me. For example, after Zecora came to town, looking for the special flower 'Hearts Desire', Twi and Aj went up to her and asked is she had a cure for Bloom's sickness. Zecora then explained that the special flower she had was missing, along with a couple other ingredients. Bloom, with the cutie marks on her body, denied that she took form Zecora. The zebra then explains that she has seeds that have the cure if the truth is spoken. Aj plants the seeds and yells to the heavens for somepony to tell the truth. But everypony heard and somehow knows of the cutie pox and wouldn't come out and say a dam thing. I even see some ponies wearing hazmat suits. Fucking stupid I know. Three fucking painful minutes later and Bloom admits to stealing form Zecora and lying to everypony. The flower then blooms and Bloom eats it raw. That may sound disgusting but they're fucking ponies so it works for them. As Bloom swallows (sex joke), the cutie marks on her coat pop out of existence. Leaving Bloom a blank flank, but she couldn't be an happier. As Twi told me, Twi was explaining everything to me as it fucking happened. Giving too much fucking detail, and i'm giving you the simplified version of what happened. You're welcome. Anyway, Twi explained that Bloom learned a lesson in patience. And that was the hole fucking thing. It ended their, right, fucking there. When Twi left my place I went back to playing GTA online.

And being the fucking godlike being I am, I fucked with some people. And I may or may not have opened a portal to the server I connected too and went a blood lust rampage. Using the games physics of coarse. I don't think is was even to have been banned from the server. Because I was fucking wrecking everybody. For like an hour before everyone left. From that point on I just went on to different servers and either did missions with somebody or went on a rampage. It was probably the most fun i've ever had playing GTA five online... And that was just last night.

Today was the day Skittles went to Fluttershy's to adopt a pet. And i've been wanting a pet for a while so I went along with the rainbow haired flying rat. We made very little small talk as we made our to Flutter's place. Yeah, we just barely get along. Only thing keeping us from fighting each other are the others. And the fact that I can kick a fully grown dragon's ass with minimal effort. But the stupid thing is that it tarted when Skittles frequently asked me to stop calling her Skittles. I would ask why and sh just answered with 'It's just because ...'. I would then say that unless she had a legitimate reason then I would calling her Skittles. She would just growl and fly off for a while. And I wouldn't, and still don't, fucking give a rat's ass. Anyway we made to the cottage at the edge of town. I blinked over to the door and knocked, beating Skittles to the punch. She had a thing were she would do shit like that first, but ever since I found out how fast I can go, that changed. Flutters opened the door. I was feeling a little benevolent and let Skittles speak.

"Hiya Flutters, we came by so can adopt a pet!"

"Oh! How wonderful! Come in please." Me and skittles canter inside the bigger in the inside cottage, I had to turn pony form to fit in her home. The animals milling about paused to look at us. They recognized me and waved, I waved back. I come by here a lot to help out Flutters to feed the animals. And I have made somewhat of an impression on them that i'm a good friend to them they look at Skittles, look at each other, and shrug. And go back to whatever they were doing. I look to Skittles and she has a small frown the gets bigger when she looks at me. She then sticks her tongue out and I just smirk. "So, what kind of pet do you want?"

"Something fast." The fucking music starts as they go outside to look at the animals. I just groan and sit down on one of the couches in the living room...

Half a fucking hour later the girls, the animals and I have gathered at one end of the gorge. The animals have already did the other trials and now the eagle, falcon, bat, owl, a blue bird, aaaand a turtle. Yup Tank, the same turtle that rescued Skittles from the gorge. Before the race started Twi asked the I keep an eye on things from above. Apparently the girls were concerned for Skittles and the animals because there might be a rock slide. I so flew up high three seconds before the race started, and watched everything happen with a ten times zoom. I watched as Skittles easily banked around the rocks, weave through the spiked vines and fly high in the sky, using clouds as turn points. Followed by the flying animals. One being left behind during each stage. Then the turtle walking slowly, beging left behind, FAR behind. I focus back on Skittles and see that she's in the middle of a rock slide. She managed to weave through, until a little rock hit her right wing, making her crash into the ground, she tries to get back up but a huge boulder and on the same wing. Effectively pinning her to ground, at first Skittles panics, but then realizes with false hope that one of the animals will pass by and save her. She looks ahead, so do I, and see that the last and first animal is the falcon, already fling to the finish line. Waaaaay ahead of Skittles. I look back at Skittles and see her downcast, I look some ways behind her and see that Tank is quite a ways behind her

*I am NOT waiting a fucking hour for Tank to save Skittles.* I dive bomb towards Tank and softly land. Slightly startling the poor guy. "Don't worry about me fella, we have a certain stupid pegasus to worry about." Tank slowly cracks a smile as I pick him up and take him to where Skittles was. But before we got close to her I cast an invisibility spell on me and used my magic to make Tank slightly faster. When we get close enough I set Tank down and watch as he goes over to her in a slightly faster pace, just fast enough to a casual walk. Skittles spots Tank and groans, then looks away. Tank just begins to dig under the boulder where the wing was pinned. After ten looooong minutes of digging the wing is let loose from under the boulder. Skittles gasps and picks up tank to hug him. Chanting 'Thankyou' like she did with 'Omigish'. But realizes that her wing hurts, a lot. She stops hugging, puts Tank down, and says 'ow'. "Well well well, looks like you're tougher than I thought." I kill the spell and appear a few feet in front of Skittles.

"GAH! Streak!? What the buck!?"

"Twi asked me to keep an eye on you and the animals, for this very reason."

"Then why did this little guy show up before you did?" I can spot a little smirk on her face.

"Because I know almost everything remember? I knew that he would come in and save you." I say as Tank hefts Skittles on his back, and in a slightly faster pace walk to the finish line. "You really have to remember who I really am Skittles."

"Yeah yeah whatever Streak. Lets just get back to the girls." Me, Tank, and Skittles then make our way to the finish line. Which is conveniently a few yards away. Even though it still took twenty minutes it's still better than taking a fucking hour to get there. I fly back up to the sky and watch as the girls spot and cheer Tank as he carries Rainbow on his back. When Tank Finally crosses the finish line Flutters nearly tackles Rainbow. But sees her broken wing and gasps.

"Rainbow! Your wing!" Skittles looks at her right wing, but smiles and brushes it off.

"Eh... Don't worry about it. Because I who my pet will be!" The falcon swoops out of a cloud and lands on Skittle's back. "Yeah, not you. You finished first, but you didn't see me in trouble and concentrated on winning. This little guy is my pet!" She points a hoof at Tank. "Tank!" She yells as Tank grabs a toy from Opal. The cat sees Tank taking her toy and attacks. But Tank recedes into his shell before Opal can do actual damage. A few seconds go by before Opal realizes she's doing no damage and gives up. Opal just walks away as the girls laugh and Tank sticks his head back out. Just then Skittles get an idea. "Hey Twi! Ya think you can make him fly?"

"Hmm... I suppose so. Come with me." Twi, Skittles and Tank head to the library.

"Well, ah goats get back to tha farm."

"And I have to return to work. Ta ta everypony."

"And I've gotta go work on Streaky's order! And i'm already half way through Streaky! BYE!" Pinks bolts off, leaving a Pinkie shaped cloud.

"Well, um... I think it's your turn Streak."

"Nice that you remember. Now, i've wanting an air born pet like Skittles so..." The air born animals gather in front of me. I look at every single one, but it's the bat that catches my attention the most. The other animals have a bored look in their eyes, but when I looked into the bat's eyes. I saw that they were full of hope and excitement. I pointed at her. "Her." The bat smiles brightly and flies up to me, perching on my shoulder. I look at her. "How does Echo sound?" She grins and nods enthusiastically. "Cool. I guess i'll see ya later Flutters!" But before I left I realized something. "Hey Flutters, what do bats eat?" She puts a hoof to her chin.

"Well, they can eat a lot of things. Like: bugs, fish, plant nectar, and some other nighttime insects." I nod.

"Cool. Thanks Flutters!" I look at my newly adopted pet Echo. "Lets got to your new home!" Echo jumps excitedly on my shoulder as I walk off to our home...

"Here we are!" We just got home as it got dark out. On my way home a lot of ponies noticed my new pet and asked why I chose a bat, and responded with, "Take a look at my personality." And walk off like a badass. And the answer is slightly true. I've always liked bats and owls. And always wanted either one as a pet. And a bat represents a personality as someone who is very vigilant and really open minded. Two things that I poses, but I just looked that shit a while back. Even before I loved bats and owls, anyway. Echo looked at the little shack of an entrance, and looks at me questionably. I just smirk. "Wait for it." I walk inside, and blink both of us inside my room. I look at Echo. "This is all underground. Cool huh?" Echo's in awe right now. I snap my finger to get her attention. "Whaddya think?" Echo looks around, and spots the door. She takes off from my shoulder and flies out the door to look at the rest of my house. I decided to let her look around, I use the time to make a place for her to rest and sleep, it's not far from my bed and s just composed of a comfy looking branch with a comfy pillow under it. After a while she comes back to my room with a face that suggest amazement. "Knew ya like it. And I made a place for you to sleep!" I present the cool looking branch and pillow. Her face brightness up as she flies over to the branch and perches on it, then she hangs off of it upside down. "Already tired huh? In that case goodnight Echo." I rub a finger on her head and she chirps happily. I go to my bed, lay down, and power down for the night.

Author's Note

Sorry for posting this late/early. I can only say family (and soon to be school) got in the way. But either way I hope like and comment!