Paul Bass: Loser Extraordinaire

Sitting up on the couch Twilight had let me sleep on the previous night, after some convincing that I didn't need her bed putting her on the couch I took note of the paper and tin foil on the coffee table in front of me. reading the paper I found out Twilight had gone out to fetch some groceries and that Spike should be helping me with breakfast. the second half was written much better than the first, as though it was written by someone who does those fancy fonts online which read that Spike had left to go visit, and I quote, "~~The most bea~~ Rarity" Damn is that kid crushing hard I grinned to myself making a mental note to mess with him at a later date but I digress, Spike had left me some breakfast in the tin foil wrapping and that there was an alarm clock set to remind me to visit "AJ's" which I assumed to mean Applejack's farm. I looked around until I found the HappIness Destroyer [as I like to call them] that was set to go off in a couple of moments. I just shrugged and flicked it off, collected my coat from a coat rack next to the door and left. I should really find a way to get more clothes. I noted as I continued my trek through Ponyville greeting the occasional pony on the way with a smile and a wave.

"These people, er, ponies sure are friendly to something they've never seen before." I mumbled to myself with a small smile while closing in on Applejack's farm. Humans could sure learn a lot from these ponies I mused as I approached my work area. I had conversed with Applejack on the idea that I just mark the time I get to her farm on a small clipboard and set to work saves me disturbing her or the others from their jobs when I arrive, almost like one of things you see in older American films where they stick a card in one side when they arrive and put it in the other when they leave. I had picked about five trees clean before noticing a strange cyan lump in one of the trees. I took note of where I was and went to consult Applejack about it, according to her the cyan lump I found was probably one of Rainbow Dash's hooves and should I ever find her sleeping in a tree I should just, as Applejack said, and I quote;

"Yank th' cheeky mare outta mah tree. It's what ah always do." But the only problem with that was, I'm not Applejack Hm... 'Applejack' I wonder how she'd react to being called 'App-for-that'? Or 'Daniels'? Heh heh. ignoring my own stupidity I decided to get Rainbow's attention by prodding her with a stick. The short version is it worked, the longer version is she wasn't too pleased with being woken up by me prodding her with a stick and proceeded to snatch the stick off me and snap it, by hitting me on the head with it.

"Well that's uncalled for." I said eliciting causing a frown. "You could have just told me to stop y'know."

"Yeah, well, it's more fun this way" she responded with a smirk I mirrored her and told her I was working here and she should be grateful I didn't, as she put it, 'pullan AJ on her' and yank her out. "However I'm still upset over what you did to Pinkie and I want an explanation of what you said to me in the hospital!" she started with a frown then a blush started to form close to the end

"Oh, yeah, that..." Was my hyper-intelligent response. "Well I feel like shit for what I did to Pinkie and... Y'know I could totally capitalize on Pinkie's name if I call Twilight 'The Brain' heh!" She obviously couldn't get my reference and told me to focus "Sorry I went off on a tangent there... What I said in the hospital was... well, I don't really know what I said."

"You looked at me and with a slight slur said 'Pretty pegasus pony' and I want to know why you just called me that." she said as her blush darkened making most of her muzzle go purple

"Look I studied Psychology and I can tell you that what I said was just my brain 'giving out under the pressure' so to say, I just said some random nonsense and I am sorry that I embarrassed you so much." She gave me a questioning look which was sated with "I know you were embarrassed because you were blushing this entire conversation about it." her head snapped to the side to hide said blush. After a few moments to collect herself she turned back to me and asked if we could start our 'friendship' fresh, as though we'd have never met before this moment.

"Hello, my name is Paul Bass. It's nice to meet you."

"Hi Paul, my name is Rainbow Dash, Fastest flier in Equestria and future Wonderbolt! Nice to meet you too." We said with a hand/hoof shake and a small smile. I then proceeded to continue working with Rainbow watching me work before I called her out on it and she decided to help me out, even though I said she shouldn't. We compromised that she'd fetch the highest apples which I wouldn't be able to reach by knocking them loose with her hoof and I'd have to catch them so I would still be doing my 'punishment'. We worked like this for a short while before App-For-That arrived, she said she didn't like either of the nicknames even though she didn't understand them and that Rainbow could help me out with the work IF all she did was what she was doing. After a couple of hours I noticed ponies moving clouds around above us blocking out the sky, Rainbow explained that pegasi actually control the weather like that and today was scheduled a torrential downpour at about four in the afternoon. After a quick time check Rainbow came back to let me know they'd be starting the rain any moment and that we should get somewhere dry, the only problem was we had worked through the orchard that by the time we'd, well I, were to reach the farmhouse [since Rainbow could fly there so fast] we might as well have not bothered so Rainbow lead me to a small cottage with a small bridge over a small river with hundreds of small birdhouses just over a small nearby hill outside of Applejack-Daniel's farm boundary.

Looks almost like a tiny Hobbit hole. Emphasis on Tiny Hah! I observed and said, "Convenient."

"That's Fluttershy's cottage." Rainbow Dash explained to me "She tends to the animals of the Everfree and is Ponyville's local veterinarian." We jogged, or in Rainbow's case glided... glew? The bloody hell is the right word for past tense 'Gliding'? Over to the front door and knocked to try and get Fluttershy's attention. It was just as my fist connected with the door however that the weather pegasi deemed it time to release the rain with a ear-splitting thunder crack and lightning bolt. We were both drenched before Fluttershy had even opened the door mere seconds after I knocked, only to have the door opened just enough for two buttery yellow hooves to reach out and yank Rainbow inside before the door slammed shut in my face.

"Meh, I liked the rain anyway!" I mumbled to the door before removing my socks and shoes and walking away mentally making note to get a reason for this after the rain stops and I see Rainbow again. But thanks to whatever before I could get off of the porch I was yanked into the cottage-hole by a pair of cyan hooves. "Nice to know I get the amazing dry, too." I said with a thick enough layer of sarcasm that the Princess probably wouldn't feel the pea.

"Sorry 'bout that. Flutters here didn't know you were with me and was too frightened by the thunder to stay out from under her bed for too long." Rainbow said to me bringing the lack of the owner of the house to my attention

"She should get her thunder buddy then." I quipped. To myself. Confusing Rainbow. Because no one here would have seen Ted. "God I'd sure like another human around to get my references..." I mumbled to myself not expecting another human to just POP outta nowhere and say something like-

"That's what I'm here for Boyo..!" Wait wat...