Paul Bass: Loser Extraordinaire

"You didn't think you coming here was a coincidence right..?" whispered a voice on my left shoulder. It started to occur to me that maybe... just maybe I might have gone completely insane.

"Rainbow, you did hear that... right?" I hoped until, of course she replied in the negative and excused herself to the kitchen to collect a drink after I said I was fine and I didn't want one. With her gone I heard the voice, on my right shoulder this time, whisper more to me.

"Only you can hear me Paul... The reason for this shall become clear soon enough but for now I just wanted to invite you to my home..." I was about to inquire where this creature was, for I could not see it on my shoulder even when it spoke, and about the location of the voice's home however the voice spoke once more "Do not speak... I do not wish for you to alert the ponies... I will tell you I live in the Everfree and that as soon as you enter you will be guided to my location, when you are ready, of course..." At the end of that it faded away and I could no longer hear it speaking to me. I blinked and decided to move on for a while and question my sanity later as Rainbow had returned to the room with a glass of water.

"Hey Rainbow Dash-" I began

"Just call me Rainbow or Dash please. Calling me my full name all the time is a bit strange..."

"Right, Dash I was wondering what you could tell me about the Everfree. I mean I've only just hear the name so I have no idea what that place is." Rainbow sat down on a particularly comfy looking armchair, and after a few seconds told me to sit down on a nearby couch which I had noticed was covered in towels just like the armchair, and began to explain the 'Everfree Forest.' As she did this I decided to look around the room we were in from the couch I was sat upon. I found that the room was filled, and I mean filled, with birdhouses, mouse holes, cat and dog beds, food bowls of varying sizes labelled with many, MANY, names and a rabbit hutch which was shaped literally like a mansion including a tiny mailbox with 'Angel B. Rabbit JR.' engraved upon it. Odd, Five quid- Er, Bits says that's a spoiled as fuck rabbit

"So to sum up that place is unnatural." She concluded. although I didn't think it was that bad, I mean, on Earth ALL plants and animals behave that way but here, where the norm is the opposite, I guess it is kind of unnatural.

"Huh, so is there some kind of special expedition crew that is required before anyone goes in there? Or is it more like 'you can go in there if you like, but don't come crying back to me when you get injured'?" I asked half joking

"The second one is about right to be honest with you." Ah, right, of course it would be. "The rain should be stopping soon so I think I should go collect fluttershy and bring here here so we can say our 'see ya later's be right back okay?" and with that the LGBT pony trotted up the stairs of the building to collect our host, so I took a look outside and sure enough the 'torrential downpour' which looked more like an average English summer day was starting to fade into nothing. Putting my socks and shoes back on then standing up just in time for the two girls [or should it be mares?] to be seen coming down the stairs chatting like Fluttershy wasn't hiding under her bed for, after taking a quick look at my phone, twenty five minutes Jeez have we really been sitting here for that long? Dayumz boi dat be tru wack yo! Oh god I will never even joke about speaking like that again, even in my head, I feel so dirty after that ugh... "-ing to be heading of now 'Shy so we'll continue this talk later."

"Which talk?" I decided to be nosy

"Oh... um well we er.." Fluttershy began but hid behind Rainbow again. after a few moments I remembered that they only came up to just above where my abdominals were so I squatted down and asked again Fluttershy took a peek out from behind Dash and seeing I was lower than her head height decided that was good enough for her to be able to talk to me without stuttering and hiding. "Well Dash and I were conversing about what we should do for our 'Pet-Day'." Eh?

"Eh?" I asked to which she explained that all the girls three times a year would meet up in the local park and have a 'Pet-Day' where they would have their pets, which were a tortoise [which, infuriatingly, they called a turtle] named Tank which belonged to Dash, a cat over-pompously named Opalescence which belonged to Rarity, an owl named Owlowiscious which was Twilight's, a dog named Winona which was Apple-phone-jack's, a baby fucking alligator named Gummy which belonged to, unsurprisingly, Pinkie and Angel which was Fluttershy's pet rabbit. "Huh you girls all have quite a... variety of pets..." I said which gave Fluttershy the idea, for some damn reason, that it would be good to help me get a pet which made her do a Pinkie pie smile and a damn 'Squee' sound which I swear will be the death of my brain which, let me tell you, was quite terrifying. I declined on the grounds I don't even have my own home yet.

"Oh, yes... right..." That took the wind out of her sails "But... when you do... would you be interested in getting a pet..?" Fluttershy asked thankfully back to her timid self. I replied that I have no idea as of yet because it seemed to me that it was too far away to be predicting as of yet. "Oh I guess you're right." She replied finally. It wasn't long after that we left and returned to AppleJack's farm, Rainbow soon left for her own place before I got to the farmhouse, however, when I did I was checked to see if I was okay and paid some Bits for working. Turns out Applejack, or as she prefers me to call her, Aj considered my work to be very satisfying and the amount I was paid was quite substantial. [Considering what Twilight told me about how Equestrian Bits were pretty much complete gold with trace elements of silver.]

A/N
I would like to thank anyone who actually keeps up with this bin bag worth story for actually considering it's okay.

Now I'd just like to mention that the building I envisioned for Angel was something like the ski lodge in the Shining.