This story has been canceled.

It's been a little while and we still aren- *explosion*

"Mayday! Mayday! We're going down!"

I blink and I'm simply not in the same place anymore. Colors swirl and then I fly out of the portal I stepped into beforehand. I look at a ticking clock which is nearby. Wait, what the fuck? It's almost like time hasn't even passed... Cadence immediately steps into the room as soon as I fly out of the portal. "Shut up, just shut up! I need something to drink!" I walk up to a window to find the nearest bar in the Crystal Empire which surprisingly isn't as far as you would have thought.

Cadence worriedly starts rubbing my back with her hoof in hopes of calming me down. "What are you... Oh..." It strangely works. Oh, I'm a foal. Of course it works. All of a sudden, Cadence picks me up and puts me on her bed. "Mom what are you doi- Did I just say Mom?"

"So it's working then."

"What is?" I ask calmly.

"I restored your need for me." She says as she resumes working out the knots.

"You know what? I don't even want to know." I say as I get under the covers and try to sleep.

Awkwardly enough, she comes under the covers and nuzzles me. "What? Can't a mother give her foal a mother's love and expect to have it returned?"

"Uh... I don't know how to answer that question." Smooth.

"That's weird." She wonders as she moves my muzzle into her chest and wraps her hooves around me and cradles me like a baby.

"I don't know." My instincts are screaming at me that she's controlling me with love.

You can't let her do this!

But how do we know she is controlling us?

Because you would normally be resistant to her advances.

I guess... But I just want to feel comfortable. All we've done is run from our problems.

While that may be true, she is still controlling you.

I don't care, if all she wants is a child's love, then I'm going to give it to her. Though, only right after I get drunk.

"I can see a disturbance in the parties." I say before teleporting to the disturbance.

Location: Ponyville

At Sugarcube Corner there is a party about to start and banners everywhere with treats and confections neatly placed on tables and counters.

"Let's party!" Pinkie says and the party starts.

*flash* I teleport in front of everypony, making the DJ pause the music and ponies stare at me.

"You put on the wrong song. Who's party is this?"

"Twilight's." Pinkie says.

"Oh, okay. One sec." I use my magic to make a song start playing.

Youtube Video

As soon as the song starts playing everypony looks at me like I'm crazy. A few mares look at me curiously though. Following the cue, I summon a full bottle of 200 proof alcohol. Bringing the glass to my face while everypony continues to stare at me I drink in one gulp.

Twilight immediately trots over to me, concerned. "What are you doing?!"

"Hangover-Hangover-Hangover-Hangover." I say before falling to the ground feeling dazed.

And then shit happens.

*beep*

"Mmm." I mumble.

*BEEP!*

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I scream as I smash the monitor. I immediately shrink back from the hangover.

"Calm down." Twilight whispers to me. "You sure 'livened up' my party. What do you have to say for yourself?" She scolds.

"You can't tell me what to do!" I retort.

"Actually, I can. Cadence, or your mom gave me full authority over your when I told her that you were here." That motherfucker! "Now, what do you have to say for yourself?!" Time to be a smart ass.

"Idonghabnida. Jenjang. Jasin." (Korean for "Go. Fuck. Yourself.") I say with a smirk.

"That's it! You're in trouble." As you can probably guess, Twilight's mane has some strands out and is largely disheveled because of her frustration. I swear, you could drop a pin and she would explode. Though I thought it was anger until she got a smirk of her own.

"Twilight, I don't like that smirk on your face. What are you plan-" She forcefully kisses me, sticking her tongue in my mouth and 'exploring'. I try to push her off of me but that's like trying to push a 75 ton titan with your bare hands. It can't be done.

"Now for your punishment." She says as she breaks the kiss and grabs hold of me. Then she teleports and I already don't like the setting. We are in her room in the library and the lights are dimmed, the windows covered with drapes. The door is closed and a sound barrier placed. "You won't be able to use magic in here. Nope. Not without the barrier down. So to put it short. You. Are. Bucked. I'm the one who will be in control here and I will shock you if you do not listen."

This is going to prove to you why saying what could possibly go wrong is a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE thing!

"You're going to learn from your mistakes." Twilight coos sultrily. And then shes kisses me again. And again. And again. And again. Seriously! This mare has no limits for passion...

"Ack! Stop! All I did was get drunk!" I argue. She lets go of me and narrows her eyes.

"The legal drinking age in Equestria is 23. You are 16." I facepalm so hard I cause a 10.6 earthquake. No, seriously. China will never be the same.

I back away as she tries to continues her advances only to be stop when I hold out a hand. "How is this punishment if you are making love to me?" I ask blatantly.

"Because you hate love."

"I don't hate love..." I walk over to the barrier and slash it with dark magic. Unfortunately, this shocks Twilight into a stupor. Taking this opportunity I walk away but run into a unicorn maid with a skimpy outfit.

"Are you Prince Brandon?" She asks with a smile.

"Uh, yeah. Why?" I question her suspiciously.

"Because Cadence wants me to court you."

...

...

...

...

...

"Hello? Anypony in there?" She starts waving a hoof in front of my face. I find that I've been teleported into a completely different place. I'll ask her about that later. I finally take notice of the mare in front of me. She has a pinkish coat with a purple mane that is styled kinda like someone familiar except shorter. I can't get a look at her cutiemark though as her outfit is covering it.

"Was ist das? den 1500er Jahren?" (What is this? the 1500s?) I question more to myself than her.

"Nein, dumm. Es ist 2015." (No silly. It is 2015.) This takes me by surprise instantly. If she can understand German then that is awesome but I need to see if she can speak French too. Probably not.

"Je parie que vous ne pouvez pas parler français." (I bet you can't speak French.)

"Oh, mais je peux." (Oh, but I can.) Oh god. Too much.

"Do you like Video Games and modern music?!" I ask abruptly.

"Yes, why?" I blush very hard when she says yes.

Trying to take my mind off of it I ask her the question that has been bothering me for a little while. "Did you teleport me here? Oh and I you forgot to tell me your name..."

"My name is Velvet Majesty and I teleported you here because I live here." I examine my surroundings and it reminds me of Dexter's Laboratory.

"...But this isn't a house. It looks more like Dexter's Lab." Velvet giggles musically and looks at me with a look that says 'It is.'

"Wait.. Are you saying you're a scientist?"

"Oh, heavens no! I just have lots of professions. I've met the Doctor and he showed me how to travel through time and space to get some of the things you see in the room." She points to one thing that stands out among others. "Where did you get that?!"

I run over to the armor and test its durability to see if it's real and... it is. I literally squeal.

"Why are you having a fangasm? I thought you already met the Master Chief?" She says suddenly.

As soon as Velvet says as much I turn around and narrow my eyes at her. At least as much as I can without looking ridiculous. "How did you know that?" I ask her quietly.

"Are you kidding me?" She giggles. "Everypony knows that. It was in the Canterlot newspaper." Velvet adds.

"Can I have the recon armor? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?" I beg over and over until she shoves a hoof into my mouth.

"Not yet. That was supposed to be a marriage gift but you ruined the surprise." I groan. But quickly regain my happiness.

"So... How are we going to do this... And doesn't it at least concern you that I'm immortal?"

"No, I have something to tell you. But you can't tell anypony." She motions for me to come closer to which I do.

"I got stuck in the Grand Theft Auto universe once on one of the Doctor's adventures and it gave me the ability to respawn." I facepalm.

"I knew that I should've went there."