This story has been canceled.

"We need you to go to Canterlot High School in a human version of Equestria so you can make sure Sunset Shimmer really has changed."

I do a spit-take, getting water all over Celestia's muzzle making her send me a glare. "I...er...well...No." I deny.

"You don't have a choice in the matter. Twilight, You, and this Velvet are going in about fifteen minutes give or take." I sigh in defeat.

"Fine, if I'm going I'm going on my terms only. Velvet, do you have the recon armor?" I ask with the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen that unnerves the girls.

"You can't bring weapons! It will disrupt the harmony!" Luna says before stepping in front of me. I sidestep and wait for Velvet to start putting the armor on me.

"I think I might need to get augmented soon. I found out how they do the procedure and yes, I know the chances of survival but the process is extremely effective." I say before chuckling darkly, a shadow of my former self for but a split second.

"I can't put this on you until you put on the undersuit..." Velvet informs me.

"Ok, where is the suit?" I ask.

"Oops, I almost forgot! You don't have a neural interface, do you?" I look at her confused. "Didn't think so. Ok this is going to hurt. A lot. Everypony you are going to want to leave for a minute."

"Bu-"

"NO! You need to get out as this is highly classified!" Once they leave the doors are locked and the room is enveloped in a anti-sound, anti-teleport, and shield barrier.

I don't want to talk about getting the interface implanted on me nor do I want to know where the hell she got that from. These things should never be asked.

After the implant procedure is complete and the point of surgery is magically healed everypony is told to come back in and does so without hesitation. The barrier from before was taken down immediately after I was healed. All I'm going to say is fuck was that shit painful.

"Are you okay?!" Celestia and Cadence ask me as they run up to me simultaneously and check me over.

"I'm fine." I say calmly before gesturing to the undersuit near Velvet.

Velvet tosses me it from nowhere and I go to the other room so I can strip and then put it on. After doing so I come back out ready for suit integration. She starts magically piecing the armor to me layer after layer. She evens does it successfully, careful of the gel layers and circuitry. How she is doing this without the help of machinery I don't know.

She stops at the helmet and tosses it to me. I barely catch it in time but still succeed. I turn it around in my fingers before placing it upon my head where it belongs. With the armor on I stand at about six feet six inches tall gaining about three inches.

As soon as I turn on the armor a heads up display (HUD) appears in front of me and it shows that I currently don't have a weapon linked to my armor. The motion tracker also shows five blips as yellow. I turn them to green and ask, "How do I look?"

"Why are you so damn tall?!" Twilight wonders out loud.

"Yeah, you were tall enough as it is." Dream adds.

"You look... intimidating." Aunt Celestia says with a shrug.

"I would still fight you." Luna gloats.

"Why do you need all this again?" Mom/Cadence asks me curiously. "You are only going to a high school..." She adds.

"Because, Y.O.L.O."

"No. You did not just bring the internet to real life." Dream says, slightly insulted.

"What is-"

"Besides you don't only live once, not with the crap you do." She adds, interrupting a potentially stupid question.

"I need a weapon." I say bluntly. Celestia regards me with a look that says 'Are you serious?' but I don't take the hint. "What? I-"

"NO!" Everypony says simultaneously.

"Bu-"

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Twilight yells over and over and over in the R.C.V. (Royal Canterlot Voice).

"Okay, I think I get it..." I say over the yelling. "Son of a bitch that fucking hurt!" I yell.

"Language!" Celestia scolds.

"I really gotta go sister, farewell." Luna says as she nuzzles her sister and teleports away.

"Mhmm." I say absentmindedly.

"There is something you need to know about your armor." Velvet says to me as she approaches.

"What is it?" I ask as the rest of the mares watch with newfound curiosity.

"Imagine your armor disintegrating into your helmet."

"Why would I do that?" I question Velvet with unrestrained suspicion.

"Please just trust me on this." She pleads.

I sigh in defeat and do as I'm told. As expected all of the armor except my helmet disappears. What I don't expect is for me to be surrounded in a golden aura and force hugged by the girls.

i wait a while but they still don't let go, "Okay,,, You are actually hurting me now..."

They immediately let go of me blushing in embarrassment. "Sorry." They say as once.

"So uh... How do I get my armor back now?" I ask almost desperately.

"Well, you just uh imagine it coming back together. Kinda like the didact's armor before he says 'The forerunners have returned'".

I comply and my armor comes back in a flashy display. "Okay, you need to go now!" A portal instanteously appears in front of us as soon as Celestia says this.

I jump straight into the portal and feel myself being stretched into infinity, silently begging for it to stop. But as quick as it started it stops. I quickly come out of my stupor to see Twilight barely getting to her feet and Velvet passed out.

"Are you okay?" I ask Twilight.

"I'm fine. We just need to get to Principle Celestia as soon as possible to enroll you."

"Nope." I say bluntly before booking it away from the school. I find myself caught in her magical aura but I summon my MA37 Assault Rifle but ensure the magazine automatically refills. "What?!"

By now a lot of people have gathered to see what all the ruckus is about. I turn around and aim my rifle at Twilight getting gasps from everyone. She releases me when she realizes what I'm doing. "It is a fucking Saturday! Who enrolls on the weekend?!" Twilight smiles sheepishly and shrugs. I take off my helmet and glare at her. "I'm going to drive around."

"You don't have a car nor a license." Twilight objects as she picks up a falled Velvet.

I snap my fingers and a blue convertible Lamborghini Veneno with nyan cat on its side doors appears. Everyone that has gathered have their jaws dropped. Did I mention that the exhaust and tire smoke is rainbow colored? Because it is.

"Well, see ya. I'm going to go piss off the police." I say as I unlock the car and open the door before situating myself inside of it and inserting a pair of keys that came with it. A bunch of people start approaching. They look like humanized versions of the mane 6 except for one of them. Sunset Shimmer I'm assuming by the color scheme.

"Dude how the fuck did you get enough money to buy that let alone even get it in the first place?!" Sunset Shimmer asks me suspiciously.

"No time for questions! Woop woop, that's the sound of the police!" I yell before slamming my foot on the accelerator. The car zooms off without question. The police speed along not far behind.

2 Hours later...

After a while I just stopped the car and explained my situation to the police. At first they thought I was some rich wannabe nerd cosplayer but that stopped fast. Apparently they know about Twilight or the 'pony princess' as they call her. I told them about myself like my apparent military rank as Lieutenant Commander and title as prince.

"I swear if I catch you speeding again you-" I toss the police officer a bag of bits. 2000 bits to be exact. He opens the bag and his jaw drops. "Uh... Forget what I said."

I drive off at speeds much slower than before but this time the metal roof of my nyanborghini (What?) is on. I arrive at a park and conveniently find the mane six waiting.

Rainbow Dash runs up to me fixing me with a glare. "Where the fuck have you been?! We searched for you for hours." The rest of the girls give sounds of affirmation to back her up.

"Well, I ran from the police for a few hours, bribed the cop, got drunk, and then drove here."

"YOU DRANK ALCOHOL?!" The girls all yell really loud.

"Well yeah." I say as I throw out two bottles of consumed saki. I snap my fingers and my car goes into my dimensional rift. I land flat on my face with my helmet clinking next to me. I just lay there motionless, acting like I'm unconscious. I feel hand turn me around with difficulty. As soon as I'm fully on my back I open my eyes and in my best Doakes impression say, "Surprise Motherfucker." Twilight screams as does Rarity and Fluttershy. I roll on the floor laughing my shiny metal ass off.

"You jerk!" Sunset Shimmer says to me with a glare.

"And this is why I don't like being around women. Shit I said that out loud."

"I'll act like ah didn't hear yah say that." Applecrack says.

Pinkie Pie starts laughing really hard with a smile that goes ear to ear. "Hahahahaha! Applecrack! Good one Brandon." She says in between giggles.

I look at her bewildered. "Fuck your psychic powers." I say before sealing my helmet on to avoid the oncoming punch. "Well this is new. Why aren't you trying and failing to beat the living shit out of me?" I ask curiously.

"God, you are like a human version of Discord." Twilight says to me drawing gasps.

"Whatever." I retort maturely. "If you need me I'm going to be sleeping under that bridge because I'm homeless." I point at the nearest bridge. This bring ridiculous amounts of laughter. This is all stopped dead when I deadpan, "What brought you to the conclusion that I'm joking?"

"That fact that you and Velvet are staying over with Rarity, she agreed to it." Twilight says deadly serious.

"Yeah!" The rest of the mane six cheer.

"Well at least you didn't say 'friendship is magic' this time. I swear, you almost gave me ebola last time." I say, getting glares in return. "What? I say it how it is."

"You are almost 17 and you haven't grown up at all." Fluttershy says with surprising bluntness.

"Who are you trying to impress with your apparent maturity?"

"It's okay, you don't know what maturity is anyway." Sunset Shimmer says slyly.

"I'm only mature on military operations and when I'm in uniform. Other than that you can go fuck yourself." I say with a smirk.

"Can you at least be nice?"  Twilight pleads.

I magick myself into an SS uniform and do the sieg heil. "Heil mein fuhrer." After I'm done I'm yet again rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. Haha the girls are such easy targets