Author's Note

First attempt at a collaboration.

Prologue: Birth of Evil

‘Shaun’ POV

So many times that cursed thought ran through my head. A memory of other days, back before…. this. I can see it now, a simple apartment, a simple life, and most of all, a simple job with a simple roommate.

By the gods was I a boring bastard! I just wanted to hop in there and pluck my own eyeballs out for being boring!

“Yo Shaun, we’re going to be stuck in a huge line if we wait any longer!” said my roommate. That reminded me of where I was that day, in a long line with my roommate whose name pretty much escapes me now and again, think it was Jack. Either way, it was one of those days for us. I had finally gotten a ‘day off’, dear gods why didn’t I just quit being a bellhop at a cheap motel, when we had heard of a gaming convention in town, I think it was pax. Of course at Pax, the both of us had decided to cosplay a couple of our favorite characters from different series.

For me, I remember it all to the last detail. The awkward half-orange/half-purple outfit, the bleached white hair and goatee and of course the special contacts to give me those fake cat eyes. That’s right, I had dressed up as everyone’s favorite Prince of Madness, Sheogorath! I should've bought some cheese there, but I did get full on some lunch before we got there.

Either way, I at least looked normal. Jack however…. how could I describe him? Ah yes, as a creative weirdo that had WAY too much time on his hands. He had molded just about every inch on his costume. The weird blue…. whatever he used, making him look huge and muscley. He even put LEDs on his left pec that lit up yellow. I even remember the fake black tentacles that seemed to spawn out of his back. And that giant axe that made it really hard for him to get in the convention. What was he again?......

Oh yeah, he was trying to be Absalom from Darksiders 2… He forgot the weird cowl/crown thing, though.Then again I was missing the most epic item of Elder Scrolls, the Wabbajack, but noone is perfect. Of course after the payment, the security check and of course making sure that we got everything back, we just waltz right in and started to look around. Now in comparison, Jack was a bigger gamer then me so he knew where the hell he was going. I simply tagged along for the day off…. not to mention all the Lidya cosplayers.

To have said it was packed was a major understatement. All sorts of people, cosplayers, from all sorts of series, no matter what console it was from. Though walking through the crowd was no problem, especially with a large, scary looking guy with you, that made most people get out of the way. Though to be honest, a lot of the stands didn’t really have much that interested me… well except one stand. To have found it in a place like this was a miracle to say the least, much like a holy grail.

Off in a side corner of the stands was a stand for, no kidding, My Little Pony. Now I will admit, I am a fan of the show. Not a zealous fan like others, just…. a regular fan. Though the only real problem was that everytime something Pony came up-

“GOD DAMN IT!” said Jack. “Not this crap again.”

That would happen.

“Are we really gonna argue about this again Jack? You know what you were getting when we did the interview a few months ago” I told him with a smug look that made me look more like the Mad Daedric prince.

“Yeah? And you already knew about how I act about these sorts of things.” said Jack. “In fact, I bet you fifty bucks, right now, if we were to go to your little ‘Equestria’ that you’d be trapped in stone before I was, ‘cause we both know that would happen.”

For being an anti-brony, he knew a lot about the show. But I owe that to a certain binge that I made him partake in before the season 4 finale had come out. Though despite the want to at least buy something, I concluded we just walk on by. Simply because I already had enough stuff in my room to where its borderline Jack wanting to destroy everything in it and it being tolerable…. which is just a Cadence keychain and a Derpy keychain. Not a big spender I know, but I still had a retort for him

“You sure? Cause I am quite certain they want to stone the one thing that at least looks like a monster” I told him, but still agreed to the deal nonetheless.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jack said.

As we had continued down the rows, we had passed a stand that was hidden in the shadows of the other stands, causing me to backpedal to it. I looked over at Jack and whistled to him, getting his attention on this stand.

“What’s up?” Jack questioned me.

“Found a stand here, looks like it may have something good. Or something cheap” I said as I started my walk to the stand and saw all sorts of items. It was like this guy had something for every game! From classics like Halo to more present time games. I saw this weird talisman and, I shit you not, some playing die. My eyes had simply wandered till they stopped one the one object that was just…. perfect! Long, black, with three heads on the top. It was….. it was….

“The Wabbajack” I said, nearly breathless of finding the exact item I need!
“Hey, isn’t that the item you needed to complete your cosplay?” I said, pointing to the unmistakable crown/cowl thingamahozit. As I picked up the staff, some creepy looking man popped up from the desk as he made me do the most manly thing possible.

He made me scream. Like a girl…... Out of surprise.

The man chuckles in a scratchy like voice “Welcome strange’as” he says and by the gods he sounded like some creepy merchant. “What are ya buyin?” he asks as I showed the staff. He simply chuckled more “Good choice. That be twenty dollars” he says as I paid for it and grinned at my purchase as I waited for Jack to get his purchase.

“I can’t believe you’re selling this. It’s like an exact copy from the game…. and so well made.” he said. “I couldn’t make it properly, and no one made a good enough copy…. How much?”

“For you, it be fifteen dollars strange’a” the merchant said.

“You’re joking.” he said in disbelief. “Take ‘um!” he yelled and shoved the money towards the merchant. “You kinda remind me of the merchant from Resident Evil, ya know? Kudos on that.”

The merchant simply chuckles “Take care strang’as’ he said as I was out in the rows, twirling my new staff as I laugh in joy at my purchase. Not long after, I started to feel…. weird. Faint, mind foggy as I looked towards Jack.

“Hey…. I’m not feeling so well man” I told him.

“Me neither man….” he said in a groggy voice. The black bits on his costume started to look liquidy and started moving. “Yo, that’s not supposed to move….”

“W-Weird” I said as soon enough, everything went…. black.

That was over a thousand years ago.

Now I just grace some flowery, colorful garden, with other statues around me. I must say, watching all this for the last thousand years….. really wanted me to just…

“Grab someone’s intestines and play skip rope with them!” I yelled, but only to the only other being connected to my mind. Despite that I just went back to what I was doing before that memory came up, the same song I have been singing for the last nine hundred and forty years. “Ninety-nine bottles of Griffonian Vodka on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of Griffonian Vodka!...”

“WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!” the voice of Jack screams at me. “I know what you said would happen when you’re done, but it’s gotten really, REALLY old.”

“What? You love that song!” I accuse, knowing it pissed him off.

“Just finish the damn song.” Jack groans.

“You know that will never happen, especially since I only like one line of it. Now how many times have I sung that line? Oh, I lost track. Time to start again!” I announce with a laugh. It was the only thing we could do as statues ever since ‘the incident’. There I stood, arms wide and to the sun, with my staff in hand and a large smile on my face, as if embracing the blast that turned us.

“Do it, and I’ll call off the bet.” Jack says. Sadly, I know what was aggravating him more than me. His position had him swinging his giant axe, as if to get in one final strike. Even more sad, that axe was taken the moment he got turned into a statue…. which happened about a minute after my petrification……

“You do that and you don’t get your fifty bits” I say with a laugh. I soon stop as I gasp “We have guests! Do try to look presentable man!” I joke with him.

“Listen, I don’t care about the money anymore.” he says. “My ass itches and my arm is in so much pain from being stuck like this for so long.”

“Oh? Need to scratch your ass? Huh boy? Hu-”

“FOR THE LOVE OF-” Jack screams. “JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS AND I WON’T WRING YOUR LITTLE NECK!”

I simply ‘tsked’ at Jack “Remember what happened last time?” I ask referring to turning him into a chicken with the Wabbajack….. before he found a way to repel it.

“Just get me out.” he says in a strangely calm voice. “Get me out. Now.”

“What do I look like some kind of almighty god? If I knew how to get us out I would of done it years ago! I want the damn cheese I was tricked off!” I yell showing my own displeasure at this situation. I sigh, but stop at the sound of hooves approaching our pathway. “Guests!”

“Listen, Discord got out. We can, too.” he says. “NOW FIGURE OUT HOW!”

As I was about to answer, the hoofsteps got closer as now we were now having a audience of colts, fillies, and a mare before us. It looked like some kind of field trip as I smirk “Jack….. how did Discord get out again? Some fight between friends?” I ask with a oddly calm tone.

“Yeah, there was some chaos in front of him.” Jack says. “What about it?”

“Well…. can’t you feel Corruption in someponies?” I ask using the vocabulary that Jack still despised.

“Yeah?” he says.

“Well find some corruption and feed off it! I can feel the madness in a few of these ponies and now hurry!” I say to him.

In front of us the red-violet mare, probably the teacher was talking about us “This, my little ponies, is the personification of Madness. A being that is said to hold more power than Discord and cause a lot of the calamities we experienced, like the great market crash and the dreaded….. ‘Day of cheese’” she says with a big shudder.

One of the ponies, a small filly in a dress and with a tiara raises a hoof and asks “What about this one?” she asks, pointing at the statue that is Jack.

“That is the personification of Corruption. A creature that caused well…. everything evil we faced. Nightmare Moon, Sombra, Discord, the stories say that his mere presence caused even the purest of hearts to turn dark and cold.”

“And I’d do it again!” Jack says. “You pony freaks.”

Soon enough comments came from the group like:

“Such a gross creature”

“It looks hideous. Why would the princess’s keep this statue here?”

“Ah’ve seen cows make betta lookin’ things than him!” one yells in a southern accent.

“Yeah, screw you too.” Jack says. “You try being in stone for over a thousand years and still look good.”

One of the ponies seemed curious of Jack as her hand reached up to touch his leg “Hey, buy me dinner first lady! Also, be legal, it’s awkward to go to dinner with a kid” I say as one of the ponies looked at Jack’s statue before bucking his statue pedestal, as if insulting him without words.

“GRAAAAAAA!” Jack yells. “PONY BITCH!”

I simply sigh till I would hear the sound of something cracking. I looked over at Jack as his statue was starting to crack, making me laugh wildly.

“FUCKING PONIES!” Jack yells. “WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE! OH HO HO! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE! YOU! ARE! DOOMED!”

I just kept laughing my ass off as a loud boom is heard as Jack’s fist finally comes down. Before my eyes stood Jack as I laugh, “Welcome back…. Absalom” I said as that was what was on his plaque of the statue. Before I even knew it, all his rage and power started to make more cracks be heard.

“ALL SHALL FEAR AND CORRUPT!” Absalom screams.

“Could you be any louder?” I ask as the school ponies ran away, terrified of the awoken Corrupted personified. More cracking is heard as I groaned “What’s cracking now? Is it my boredom?” I ask as I try to look at Absalom.

I should not have looked. Absalom punched me…. IN THE FACE!

From that punch I went flying out of the statue as I slid across the grass, with Wabbajack in hand and groan. I blinked as I….. I blinked. I felt pain. I can breathe….. that was when I realized it and jumped up onto my feet “Sheogorath has returned!” I yell myself as my Wabbajack glowed with power.

“I will never understand why they let you keep Wabbajack, yet took my axe.” says Absalom.

I simply laugh “Dear Absalom its simple…. they thought it was just a staff despite their warnings. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get something I’ve been missing for the last thousand years” I say with a evil smile.

“Not the cheese again.” Absalom says. “At least get me my axe, first.”

I chuckle “Of course…. think its in the treasury?” I ask as a guard came around the corner. With a flick of my Wabbajack, I sent a bolt of magic at him and turned him into a frog. “Still got it!”.

“Probably.” Absalom says. “Then you can have your cheese.”

“CHEESE!” I scream.