My Little Brony: Stuck in equestria

My Little Brony: Stuck in Equestria `

By King88965 (Duh)

Chapter 2: Celestial summons.

Charlie's POV

  "Bloody ponies." I muttered to myself, my eyes still closed.  "Knocking you out because you like a good burger every once in a while." It was around this time that I noticed I couldn't feel anything underneath me, and so I opened my eyes to see... Nothing, nothing anywhere. Just me and an old T.V floating through an empty void. Wait, T.V? I reached out and grabbed it and due to its weightlessness I could grab it with ease. I studied it for moment, the screen was complete static. "WELL OF COURSE! THE ONLY THING HERE THAT COULD PROVIDE SOME FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT DOESN'T WORK! Oh.. wait, of course it wouldn't I'm floating in a prison some asshole pony made me." I hit the T.V once, bashed it on the head, and that seemed to gain some response from it. A voice was emanating from the screen, but it sounded static-y. Is that even a word? I mean, it sounds like it could be a good adjective, but it sounds strange, it doesn't quite roll off the tongue like and. I like the word and, it sounds so weird. And, and and and and, no wait, it's stopped sounding like a word now, maybe its not? I'm rambling. So, anyway, the voice emanating was getting some interference, but from what I could make out, it sounded something like.

  "static Man more static Lest even more static o SO MUCH STATIC rap" So, it seemed Lest-o wanted to rap for me? Or maybe it was rape me... I really hope it wasn't rape me. That would be bad, I just hope Lest-o isn't like some sort of child entertainer. Bloody BBC and their Jimmy Saville... naw, Lest-o sounds like a good rapper name, rolls off the tongue, kind of like and... I continue my rambling untill I notice a light... that I was slowly floating towards, no, not a light. A window, but through it I could see purple, and some flashes of orange. Well, that was boring. I don't want to go through that portal/window thingy. Too purple. I don't like purple. Doesn't roll off the tongue, I like blue though, that does roll off. Kinda like and... So I continued rambling and slowly drifting closer to the portal, I realised two things, A: my head feels like someone just chopped it up for a lovely Charlie soup. And B: The purple was translucent. I could see shapes moving around behind it. I was looking forward to getting out of this void, but some asshole god wanted to make a stupid joke, a loud horn could be heard behind me and I turned rond, to see a huge 18 wheeler, with an obscured numberplate, headed right towards my face.

  "NO!" I shout, the truck stops. "I am NOT making that joke!"

  "Yes you are." A voice boomed.

  "No, who are you." I asked. If I could stall for long enough, I might be able to get through the portal in time.

  "I am your god!" the voice shouted, irritated that this boy would dare question him.

  "Well, I'm an atheist. So, could you be a little quieter please?" I asked. Almost there...

  "NOPE!" It shouted, and the truck began picking up speed again.

  "HAH!" I laughed. "TOO LATE" and I drifted through the portal.

  I studied my surroundings. My head was still throbbing, but I ignored it. I seemed to be in one of Twilight's bubbles. Outside the bubble were five ponies. All except Applejack. Y'know the pony that hit me. The pony that ws standing ove- WAIT WHAT!

  "So, ah see ya finally decided to wake." She said, sounding annoyed.

  "Oooh! Oooh! Are we doing the joke now?! are we? are we?" I Heard, coming from outside the bubble. Pinkie Pie.

  "Nope!" I shouted happily. "I got away from it!" Pinkie turned around and looked at me, right in the eye. Her expression had changed from that of happiness to complete seriousness.

  "You shouldn't have done that." She said coldly. "The author always gets his way. That will come back to bite you. Right in the ass." I gulped, when Pinkie was serious, she was serious like, scary serious, like the kind of... I need to stop rambling.

  "Are ya tryin' ta ignore me?!" Applejack almost shouted.  Oh, yeah I forgot she was standing over me. "Honestly, if somepony's tryin' ta talk to ya, the least ya can do is listen!"  I looked up at her, annoyed.

  "Seriously? You knock me out because you thought Discord murdered your cow- which he didn't!  And you're annoyed with ME?!" I near shouted.

  "Well, umm... this might not be the best time to be fightin' we kinda have to be friends." She said.

  "Friendship bubble?" I asked.

  "Eeyup."

  "Only goes away when the occupants become friends?"

  "Eeyup."

  "so... we're screwed?"

  "Probably."

  "You up for annoying the hell out of Twilight when we get out of here?" she smiled.

  "Eeyup."

  "So... where are we going?"

  "Canterlot castle, Celestia wants to meet ya."

  "Sunbutt wants to talk? Cool. Can you get off me now?"

  "No."

  "Why not?"

  "This is about as much space as we got."

  "Right... one last question. Is that Big Macintosh leading an angry mob who all are armed with torches and pitchforks?"

  Applejack turned her head around and saw that there was in fact an angry mob of ponies coming right for us with torches and pitchforks.. She turned back around, wide eyed. "TWILIGHT! REALLY BUCKING ANGRY MOB AT 6 O'CLOCK!" Twilight looked around and began to run. And that pony can run when she needs to, fortunately she didn't seem to be using any energy keeping the bubble on. Unfortunately, she was no longer keeping the bubble with her. So we were now surrounded by some very angry ponies, attempting to attack the bubble, it wasn't being affected but it was still slightly irritating.

  "So... how's yer day been?"

  "I'm not talking to you."

  "Well why the hay not?!"

  "You really want to become friends, and destroy the bubble OVER THIS!?" I almost shouted. "Honestly, you ponies are dumb."

  "HAY!"

  "Ummm, not to be awkward but am I moving closer to your belly?  Or are my eye going weird." I asked nervously. " Because If its the first one then this bubble is getting smaller and if the bubble is getting smaller, then we're gonna get crushed."

  "Smaller, oh buck this thing is getting smaller." she was now lying down on me.

  "Ok, umm we have to think of something quickly. Ponies... ponies... what do I know about ponies?" I shut my eyes and entered my 'thought room'. It's effectively a little place in my head where I go to grab all my facts. In theory, you could know everything and never forget anything. Of course, it doesn't quite work like that but it helps with remembering certain little facts you have in your brain. The appearance of mine varies, but it generally looks like how it is now, a long corridor lined with filing cabinets, each labelled with a picture and a title. I rushed towards the ponies, opened the cabinet and searched, while searching I realised I had to reorganise this place, I found facts that shouldn't belong in there such as: If you ever see a corpration in a sci-fi movie, it is always bad. Yeah, anyway while looking through the folders I noticed one. Singing. That could work! I open my eyes and am back in the bubble. "Okay, Applejack, do you ponies start singing if somebody else sings?"

  "Yeah. why?"

  "Because I have a plan, and it involves singing."

  "How the-"

  "Do you trust me?"

  "No."

  "Then we're going to die."

  "Huh."

  "Well, it was nice knowing you."

  "You too sugarcube." And with those words, the bubble began to expand.

  "Oh seriously?!" I shouted, the bubble was big enough for both of us to stand up in now. "Was that all it took?! Friendship bubble my ass! Twilight Frickin' knew that you only call your friends that! God dam passphrases! That trixy pony! when I get my hands on her... IT'S GONNA BE CUPCAKE MAKING TIME!" Why are you looking at me like that?" She was just standing there... staring. "Oh, right... the bubble is going to pop... you ponies DO have songs at funerals right?"

  "Er... yeah. why? You planing a funeral?"

  "Yeah... my own. NOW LET'S DO THIS!" I looked around at the ponies. "HEY! PONIES!" They all looked up at me. "SO! WE HUMANS, WHEN WE DIE, WE HAVE FUNERALS, NOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU. BECAUSE IF I DIE AND DON'T GET A FUNERAL... WELL LET'S JUST SAY THE WORLD WILL BURN WITH LIKE, METEORS AND EXPLOSIONS AND DUCKS. YEAH... DUCKS! BUT WE NEED A VERY SPECIAL SONG TO BE PLAYED. IT'S A VERY HOLY SONG. AND SINGING IT WILL GRANT YOU MAGICAL POWERS RIVALLING THAT OF CELESTIA! SO CLEAR A CIRCLE AROUND ME AND MY... PRISONER AND LET ME SING THE SONG FOR YOU. THE MAGICAL POWERS OF MAGICALNESS WILL ONLY BE GRANTED AT MY ACTUAL FUNERAL THOUGH. SO YEAH." The incredibly dumb ponies cleared a circle underneath the stupid purple prison of death just as it began to thin... and then. *POP!* And we landed on our asses. "So, you wanna hear the song?" A chorus of yeses emanated from the crowd of idiot ponies. (well, they were led by Big Macintosh, what can you expect?) And so I started singing.

Youtube Video

Now, I don't know how to sing. At all. But it worked. They were so into singing that me and Applejack managed to sneak away. Well, I say 'sneak away' I had to drag her by the tail to the train station because, as far as I could tell, she literally couldn't stop singing. Do you know what it's like dragging a pony won't stop singing through a village without looking like an idiot? Impossible. Once I got to the station she had almost finished singing and all the other ponies could not stop laughing. "Yeah, yeah. I hate you all too. Especially you Twilight, I do not like pass-phrases. In fact. I hate pass-phrases. In fact, I hate them so much that I need a baseball bat. Pinkie?"

"One baseball bat coming right up!" She reached into her hair and pulled out a baseball bat.

  I took it from her and charged towards Twilight all while screaming "AALLALALALALALALLALAALLALALAALLALALALALALA!" This resulted in me blacking out, and spending a train journey in an opaque bubble, with a broken arm. She cannot take a joke.