A Pony and A Hat

by The Hat Mann

I'm Pretty Sure Rainbows Don't Work That Way

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"You're a real confidence booster." I replied sarcastically to the Fez atop my head as I began to walk out the station.

"I just say the truth! If I saw a pony who I'd never seen before talking to a Hat, I'd be a little bit scared."

I levitated the Hat off my head to give it a incredulous look while still walking. "You're a Hat. You can't really say anything. Besides, I'm the only one you can talk too anyway." A smug grin made its way onto my face. "Heck without me you'd still be stuck on that top shelf in that Antique shop, you need me."

I was expecting him to give me a snide remark or just ignore me but what happened next surprised me entirely. My magical grip on the Fez was somehow pushed off, I was expecting him to fall to the ground but instead he was suddenly encased in a golden glow. I looked around nervously in case anypony was watching, however we hadn't gotten far from the station and it seemed that everypony was mostly nearer the center of town. I looked at the Hat that was causing all the fuss "What are you doing?!" I asked in a hushed voice. "If anypony see's you, who knows what could ha-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence as he sent a very small arc of energy into the end of my muzzle. It felt like an electric shock so normally I'd just flinch for a second, but due to the circumstances the reaction was worse. I almost yelped again. It probably would have attracted half the town too if I hadn't shoved my hoof in my mouth. Shock and anger ran through as I released my hoof from my gaping maw, I scowled at the Fez as it lazily floated back onto my head plopped into a comfortable position.

"What was that for?" I said in an angry tone but made sure to keep quiet.

"True, you did get me off that shelf and a much better life and I am eternally grateful for that. However, I can take excess energy from magic users when they use... Well, magic! Thanks to being near a user of magic AKA you, I've regained my necessary power and can leave anytime I want too."

This halted my thoughts. Could he really leave if he wanted to? Now that I think about it the thought saddened me immensely. Sure he could be annoying, but overall he was the closest thing I had to a friend.

My face became sullen. "So why not leave? They are probably dozens of ponies out there in the world with more interesting lives."

"But that's where your wrong."

Confused, I looked up at the Hat that was resting on my head.

"Why am I wrong?"

He gave a long sigh. "You... Saved me basically. When I first spoke to you, you didn't faint, you didn't run off to get the Royal Guard, you... Stayed. You let me into your home and treated me as an equal being. Sure you were nervous around me at first but that is to be expected. You think you're useless and you'd be doing ponies a favour if you just stayed indoors all the time! You doubt yourself too much. But I see you for who you truly are Hattius, you've... Grown on me really, and I like to think of you as my only friend in these troubled times."

At first I didn't know what to say. But gradually, a warm smile spread across my face.

"I think the same way... Friend."

I don't know but I think he's smiling.

"Come on then, we can't just stand 'round here all day can we?"

He chuckled and simply replied "Lead the way."

I started walking further into town. I noticed more and more ponies, either shopping, eating or talking with friends. Some even said hello to me. I was slightly terrified for my life however when I reached the steps of Town Hall as I had noticed a few of the mares had actually winked at me. If they find a guy like me attractive then there must be a serious lack of stallions around here. I best watch my back.

"You're doubting yourself again."

"Well what do you expect me to do, ask them out?"

"That is a possibility, maybe you can find a lady for yourself in this smalltown."

I scoffed. "Yeah, that would end well. Hi! I'm scared to even leave my house sometimes and my only friend is a talking Fez!"

He laughed at my mock impression of me on a date as I stepped into Town Hall. Inside sat a blue mare with a red mane who I assumed to be a receptionist. She sat behind a desk and was typing away at a typewriter. I gave my best smile and walked up to her, slightly nervous as usual. She paused her work and looked up to me and gave me a welcoming smile.

"Hello sir, how can I help you today?"

"Um. Is Mayor Mare currently free? Or should I come back later?"

"You're in luck, she should be finishing with her latest appointment right about-"

She didn't get to finish as the double doors at the end of the hall opened and a stallion in a business suit stepped out with who I guessed was the Mayor. They shared a few quiet words and he was already walking out the door. Not without giving the receptionist and me however a quick nod of his head. I saw that she was about to walk back into her office, however she must have noticed me as her eyes were drawn to my direction. She gave me a warm smile and walked over.

"You must Hattius Mann" she said as she grabbed my hoof and shook it, her smile never fading. Unlike other town/city officials, her smile was genuine.

I was about to reply when my mind locked up on something. " Um... How do you know my name?"

"Don't worry, we won't have to talk about much. 'T' has already mostly sorted it out for you." She let go of my hoof and ushered me to her office. I looked back to her receptionist and she was giggling into her hoof and gave me an encouraging look as the doors to the office with me inside closed.


"Finally! Its good to be out of that stuffy office."

"We were in there for 10 minutes."

"Really? Felt longer than that."

After sorting out a few things that needed to be done like signing a few documents for my new house, I was made an official citizen of Ponyville. It got quickly boring and time seemed to come to a drag. But now I was out, I was completing my most important mission of the day!

Finding something to eat. But something else came up first.

"Emrys! That's my name!"

I stopped. "Wait what?

"Y'know when we first met and you asked for my name and for some reason I couldn't remember, well I remember now!"

"O-kay?"

"What? What's the problem?"

"It sounds like a weird name." At that moment, I suddenly got the feeling when somepony gives you the 'Seriously' look.

"I've been on Equus since the coronation of Celestia and Luna. What did you think my name was going to be? Chuck?"

"Wait, you've been around since the coronation of 1000 year old princesses?"

"Yes! And I'll have you know... What the hell is that?

This stumped me again. "What are you on about now?"

"Look up in the sky! A rainbow is forming out of thin air!"

Confused I looked up into the sky to see a beautiful rainbow forming out of thin air into a long trail.

"Oh, so it is." I looked back down to continue with my talking with 'Emrys' when I suddenly realized something.

Rainbows don't work that way. And as I looked back up into the sky, it led to my next ingenious comment.

"Wut?"


Author's Note

Next Chapter! Thanks to everyone who supports my work. Criticism is welcomed and I actually got the name 'Emrys' from a character in a TV show I loved and use to watch. Can you guess what its from? Hint: It only showed on the BBC and the show ended in 2012.

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