Living in Equestria

I tried to go slow with the cider after Applejack joined us but it was hard. The stuff was damn good and the pleasant loopy feeling it was giving only encouraged me to keep going. Her comment about Apple Bloom had given me a bit of anxiety and I tried to pass it off as best I could. It wasn't long before Applejack had gone through a couple of mugs herself, catching up to Dash and I pretty quickly and getting more talkative with each gulp. We were sitting around the table in the aging afternoon, deep in conversation about Ponyville and it's citizens when what started as a simple question from me about the farm's history soon took a turn that caught me off guard.

"This here place has been in mah family for generations" she said, looking around at the farm's kitchen in nostalgia. "I always knew I'd end up runnin the place but I sure wish it hadn't happened like it did. I just hope pa's happy with how I've handled things..." she looked down into her mug. Her cheeks burned with the effects of the cider and perhaps something else.

"Where are your folks, anyways? I've never heard you talk about them." I asked.

"Oh, they been gone for some time now, Mason." she looked up at me. "Accident on the rail line 'tween Manehatten and here..."

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine. I ain't gonna lie... I miss em and all but it made my life a heap o ton easier."

"Didn't get along with them?" I asked.

"I let em down..." she said with a regretful look. Her ears sagging along with her shoulders. She had taken her trademark hat off and let her long blond mane down. She was stunningly beautiful in a rustic and simple way.

Dash looked over at her with exasperation. "Don't start that again, AJ! Your folks blew that way outta hand and you know it!"

"Well they had a right to!" she shot back. "I had no business gettin in trouble like that and I didn't help matters none by tryin ta hide it! Look where that ended up!"

"What happened?" I asked her, curious as to what the honest and straightforward Applejack could have done.

She let out a sigh. "Ya better fill up my mug if ya'll wanna hear this tale." she slid her empty container over to me for a fourth round.

"I think I'll pass, AJ. You know how how I feel about that whole thing..." Rainbow Dash got up to leave.

"Dashie..." Applejack started.

"No, It's cool, really. I should've headed back to Cloudsdale a while ago. If Mason wants to know then you should tell him, I just don't want to spend the rest of my night thinking about it like I always do whenever you tell the story. It was bad enough having to watch it once."

"Alright, Sugarcube..." Applejack gave her a watery smile. "See ya 'round, then"

"See ya guys." Dash said, giving an affectionate hoof to Applejack's shoulder before getting to her legs and leaving.

I took our mugs and topped them off, sitting back down and sliding the cool liquid across the table to where she sat. Her normally large and piercing green rimmed eyes were showing a tint of bloodshot.

"Dash hates hearin' bout this, don't take it the wrong way. She means well. I don't think I'da ever made it without her." she looked out the window at her friend who had taken to her wings and was now just a tiny speck.

"Tell me." I said, taking a drink from a fresh mug.

She took a deep drought herself... and began her story.

___________________________________________________________________

Applejack could hear the beat of the music long before arriving and gave a small shudder at having to listen to Vinyl Scratch work her electronic gizmos. The young farm pony liked simple music that had fiddles and a good twangy guitar over the repeated throbs of the dance music that her classmates seemed to like so much.

She opened the door to the darkened interior of the school gym where she had spent the last four years playing Hoofball and Ringcatch on those cold winter days when the weather was too bad to play sports outside. Her fellow classmates were packed together on the hard wooden floor that was polished heavily, reflecting the twirling, flashing lights of the DJ booth set up on the far side of the dim, cavernous space.

Heated air from all the ponies pressed together and gyrating to the beat washed over her, blowing her blond mane back with the smell of sweat and the mix of perfumes of the young mares inside. Dances weren't her thing and she ordinarily would have much rather stayed on the farm to help her Pa with getting the pie stands ready for the upcoming summer bake off, but there was something she just had to do tonight. Something she'd been thinking about for a long time.

Moving into the crowd, she began to scan the faces, looking for the one she wanted to talk to. Her heart was pounding in her chest now that she was actually going through with this. If her Pa knew what she was doing here, he'd tan her hide for sure. Her father didn't approve of her recent behavior lately, in fact... anytime she didn't have dirt on her hooves or sweat dripping down her back he considered her to be 'messin round'. She also shuddered inside when she thought about what would happen if he knew Applejack had been into his cider this evening, trying to work up enough courage to come here in the first place to do what she'd wish she'd done long ago before it was too late. The senior class's year was over, and this was the goodbye party the school had every year.

Rounding a group of mares who were dancing in syncopated moves to the beat of the music pounding from the speakers nearby, she felt her stomach turn in anxiety. She saw him standing in a group with his friends next to the gloomy darkness near booth. She swallowed against the lump that had suddenly grown in her throat and steeled herself to go talk to him. For the last four years her eyes had constantly drifted to his face whenever she'd had the chance. Passing in the hallways, stealing glances at him from across the room during the long, droning classes they shared together.

Applejack had begun to feel this way about him during the summer just before they started high school, but even though the tough farm girl could take on bullies in her class without batting an eye, she found herself unable to even muster a simple "hello" whenever he was near. Now that the end of school was here, she couldn't go the rest of her life without saying something.

He looked at her and gave her a smile that melted her heart when she finally belted out a nervous "Hey there!" to him, having to raise her voice above the loud music. He was charming, talking easily and freely with her in a friendly way that completely disarmed her fears and doubts about what she was doing. She didn't think twice when he asked her if she wanted to go outside where it was quiet.

Applejack was captivated by his expressions, his eyes, the way he complimented her and seemed interested in the farm. She offered him no resistance when he leaned in to kiss in the darkened path they had walked down behind the school and gave herself over to the excitement when his hooves began to stroke her side, moving lower and causing fluttering sensations to fill her belly. He whispered about them being together on the farm, spending long hours walking under the apple trees, learning from her all she knew about how to grow things. She felt like talking to him was the life changing moment of love she had been waiting for.

Later, she would tell herself that it was probably the cider that caused her to give into his pressuring hooves, leading her into the concealing brush in the blackness that night near the school grounds. She let herself be turned around, feeling his weight on her back and the probing hot shaft of his member sliding along her stomach. He adjusted... and then took her in one swift thrust, causing her to bite her lip painfully to keep from crying out at the sudden intrusion.

It was over in moments, ending in a void of physical pleasure for her as she kept waiting for something magical to happen. But there was nothing. No explosions, no fireworks like she'd heard about. He simply grunted, then stiffened inside her and she felt the throbbing release of his seed inside splashing against her inner walls. Disappointed but not knowing otherwise, she didn't let it show when they kissed again and he told her how good she was. He said that he would stop by the farm tomorrow and they could go into town together, maybe get an ice cream at Sugarcube corner. She told him that would be great and couldn't wait to see him.

The stinging sense of regret and heart break didn't start until the third day of him not showing up. The first day she figured he must be busy. The second... well, maybe he had gotten held up or something. But by day number three she gave into the sinking feeling in her heart that she had been lied to. That sinking feeling quickly turned to pain... and then anger.

It took her only a couple of hours in town to find out he'd left for Manehatten, where his family was originally from. They had come here for the schools and left as soon as they could now that it was no longer a need. She cried all the way back to the farm, angry and disgusted with herself for letting a pony take advantage of her, and vowed never to do it again. The resolution gave her little comfort.

A couple weeks later, when the emotional rollercoaster had subsided enough for her to feel like her old self again, the morning sickness started. At first she thought she'd caught a bug or something and stayed in from the chores. A few days later, her estrus failed to start. Applejack knew then what was happening. She sat on her bed, her mind reeling from having to tell her parents about it. She wasn't the type to lie, it just wasn't in her nature... but she couldn't face her father's anger.

To hide her pregnancy she worked extra hard, never slowing down or giving a moment for her father to question her about what she was doing. The months slipped by and her belly began to show. Luckily, winter was arriving and she could get away with wearing wraps around her middle claiming to be cold. She woke before everypony else and was out in the fields before her father had a chance to see her, staying out long into the evening despite the chilling air and the exhaustion she felt as her foal grew inside her.

It wasn't her growing belly that ended her deception... it was ice on the ladder's steps to one of the silo's hatches one frozen morning. It was nearing the end of fall and she had grown considerably in the last few weeks, changing the way her body moved and her center of balance. She slipped trying to get the side cover off about half way up to check the level of grain and fell, landing flat on her stomach. There was intense pain, and she had started bleeding. Big Mac had found her crying in reddening snow, probably saving her life.

The hospital, the surgery, the horrible feeling of loss. It all paled to her father and mother's ire and disappointment on their faces when they came into the recovery room for the first time. For weeks they didn't speak to her beyond a single syllable answer and Big Mac was an emotionless pony anyways. Only Granny Smith showed her the compassion and love she needed at home while her friends, particularly a spunky and competitive pegasus named Rainbow Dash, filled in the rest of her lonely recovery time as much as they could.

At Hearth's Warming, the silence finally broke. The fight had been epic between the stubborn apple farmer and his equally stubborn daughter. He felt like she had ruined the family's reputation of being hardworking and honest ponies, vowing never to let her have anything more than a helper's hoof dealing with the business because of her lack of responsibility. She was crushed. It had been her goal to be the best apple farming pony in all of Equestria through hard work and determination. But instead her mother and father were taking a trip to Manehatten to see about getting some investors to sell the farm to a public company once they were gone. It tore her heart out to think about the farm being taken over by anything other than an Apple. Big Mac didn't have the business sense and her baby sister was still too young to trust what her disposition in life was going to be.

The snow was coming down hard the day several weeks later when her parents left the farm for the train station to Manehatten. Granny had begged them to wait, to reconsider, to do anything but follow through with letting go of everything but her father didn't want to hear it. He had made up his mind already and no amount of talking would get him to back down. Applejack didn't say goodbye to them. She only sat in her room, crying at the mess she found herself in and desperately wondering what her life was going to be like now that she didn't have running the farm to look forward too.

She never saw them again.

Two days later, Princess Celestia came to Sweet Apple Acres with grave news. Later, she learned that her father had died almost instantly, consumed by the flames when their car caught fire after derailing but her mother had lived for a few hours, long enough to get to a hospital... but she didn't make it. Her father's last act in life was to wrap his large frame around his smaller wife's body to shield her. Applejack never allowed herself to mourn. She didn't feel like she deserved to.

And just like that, the young Applejack was thrust into the role of caregiver, custodian, and business pony of the entire farm. Granny Smith did her best to help with the home life while her and Big Mac took over the task of getting the farm ready for the coming spring. It was Apple Bloom who suffered the most, too young to know the full scope of what had happened between the father and daughter but old enough to know that her parents were never coming home. Applejack spent every night consoling her while she cried after the nightmares for weeks.

But the farm grew, prospered and the emotional wounds healed over to ugly scars that were a permanent reminder of how important it is to be honest, hardworking and responsible. Most of Ponyville had come around to help at one time or another, lending a hand picking, pruning, mending tools and offering whatever support they could at a moment's notice.

___________________________________________________________

"I still feel guilty 'bout it, don't you think otherwise. I'll 'prolly never get over it and think about it most everyday. When I say it made my life easier, it wasn't 'cause I wanted it." Applejack looked at me with sad eyes. "I guess that's why I'm so hard on Apple Bloom... I don't want her ta make the same mistakes I did."

The sun had dropped quite a bit now and the afternoon shadows were lengthening. I sat in disbelief as her story wound down. It explained so much about Applejack's personality, that I was struck by the personal connection I was left feeling with her. I'd would have never guessed that this family had that kind of history. It was a tragic and very human story that touched a nerve with me deeply.

"Wow... I don't know what to say, Applejack..."

"There ain't nuthin ta say, Sugarcube... It was the biggest mistake of mah life... I just hope Apple Bloom is smarter n me." she rubbed absently at a stain on the wooden surface with her hoof.

"I think she'll be alright." I said robotically. But I knew now that I had to tell Applejack what was happening before things went any further. I just didn't know how to start.

"Can... Can I ask you something Applejack?